But there was still a lot that was the same—his never-ending patience, the fun, silly side that made me laugh, and the ability to express what he felt.
My heels sounded against the concrete as I walked from my car to the door of my Grandmama’s kitchen. As I entered, I called, “Hey, Grandmama, I’m here.”
She replied almost immediately, “Hey there! I’m in the back. I’ll be right there.”
After putting my coat and laptop bag on a barstool, I kicked off my heels. I was tired after four long days with a client. In the end, they’d disputed my suggestions, saying my ideas weren’t how they’d envisioned their brand. It was frustrating when they didn’t listen, but it was part of the game. I was only paid fifty percent for concept, rather than the full contract price, since they didn’t go with my plan. My expenses would be covered and I’d make a little in the end, but not as much as I had hoped.
A fresh chocolate pie sat on the bar, and the smell of cocoa had me salivating. Off to the side, flowers caught my eye. On second look, I noticed my name on the card.
Biting my lip, I opened the card. They were from Brandt.
“Well, I guess the message from Brandt was good.”
I glanced up and saw Grandmama in the doorway, a pleased look on her face.
Putting the card to my lips, I gave it a quick kiss before putting it back. “It was a very good note. He misses me.”
She chuckled as she got plates and forks for us. “Of course, he does. Didn’t he send you flowers daily while you were gone?”
“He did.” Brandt had been lavishing me with attention. Late one night, on an especially long day, he’d arranged for an in-room massage. It had been heavenly.
“I hope you guys can come over for dinner soon.”
Grandmama loved Brandt. She’d thought he was going to be my happily ever after. Even when we were broken up, a part of her knew we’d find our way back together.
Putting the card back in the holder with the message displayed, I answered, “Let me see when he has his next night off and I’ll let you know. He’d love it.”
“Good. Want some pie?”
“You have to ask?” I sat on the stool. She cut two slices and placed one in front of me. Here’s was a thin slice. The warm chocolate melted out of its perfect form. She placed a piece in front of me. I took a bite. “This is so good. How’d your doctor’s appointment go? I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”
Dabbing a piece of chocolate from the corner of her mouth, Grandmama responded, “The doctor said it’s bronchitis. He prescribed me an antibiotic. I should be cough free in a couple of weeks. It was fairly severe.”
That was a relief. I always worried about Grandmama since she was getting older. I’d be lost without her. “Good, thank you for appeasing me and going.”
She took her last bite of pie and stood. “I shouldn’t have waited so long.” She patted me. “I need to finish those vests for the school.”
“Okay, I’ll be back in a second. I’m going to thank Brandt for the flowers.”
Grandmama winked and headed off to her sewing room. She was making little red vests for the kids at the local elementary school. They got badges for different things like math problems, spelling, good grades, friendship, and more. It was a neat program.
I pulled out my phone to text Brandt.
Me: Boy, someone sure does know how to make a girl feel special! I got these beautiful flowers and the sweetest note.
Brandt: It’s just the beginning, baby.
Me: I love them. Thank you.
Brandt: You’re most welcome. How was Grandmama’s appointment?
Me: She has bronchitis. So relieved. Should be clear in a few weeks. She invited you to dinner. Let me know when you can come next week.
Brandt: I’ll be available whatever night works for her. When are you getting here? I miss you. I have a meeting in about thirty minutes.
Me: I miss you, too. I hope we can spend more time together soon. How about in two hours? Need to take a shower.
Brandt: Perfect. Tell me when you’re here so I can meet you outside.
Me: Sounds good and I will.
Being back at the club was going to be a little intimidating—Brandt and I had an explosive history there. Tonight we’d only be on the bar side. I thought it was a good idea to ease back into the scene.
The sewing machine in the back room sounded like it was going ninety miles a minute. As a child, I’d lay on the daybed in there and let the hum of the machine lull me to sleep. Before I got ready, I wanted to spend some time with Grandmama, even if it was only watching her sew. Since Brandt had a meeting, I had time.
In the back room, a wallpaper boarder of needles and thread lined the top wall. Grandmama sat at her sewing table, effortlessly sewing the material. She’d given me sewing lessons as a kid, so I could sew some, but not like she could.
“Hey, Grandmama, mind if I keep you company before I get ready to head out?”
“Not at all. I’d love it.”
She continued with her task as I took my spot on the daybed. I listened to the sound of the machine as I processed where Brandt and I stood. The other night, when Brandt had wanted to kiss me, I longed to feel his lips against mine. I ached to feel him, but I needed to tell him about Lance first. I didn’t want any secrets between us.
Pulling out of the driveway, I waved to Grandmama at the window. She was headed to bed early. The medicine took its toll on her, and she was tired. As I hopped onto the highway, my phone chirped. Figuring it was Brandt, I opened the text.
My blood chilled when I saw Lance’s name appear on the screen.
Lance: Why haven’t you been home lately?
I pulled over. Lance and I lived in the same apartment complex. Since we’d broken up after sleeping together once, I rarely stayed there anymore. When Brandt had picked me up, Lance had spooked me by saying he knew I was home and was coming over to talk. Then there had been a tap on my window. I felt bad that I’d only given Brandt half the truth. I needed to tell him everything.
Me: Lance, it’s over between us. Please stop contacting me.
Lance: Have a good night, Nikola.
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I tried to push back the headache that formed. The lights from the dashboard cast a light glow within my car, calming me. An eighteen-wheeler sped by, making the car shake. With all the traffic, this had been a bad place to pull over. I put my blinker on and merged back into traffic.
My breathing was accelerated and I tried to slow it down. I needed to talk to someone. My first instinct was to call Brandt, but I didn’t want to put this stress on him. Plus, he was in a meeting. Wesley came to mind next. He picked up on the third ring.
“Hey, Nikola. You make it back okay?”
I pushed the lump down in my throat and said, “I did, but Lance just texted me. Asked me why I hadn’t been home lately. I asked him to stop contacting me, and he wished me a good night. Do you think I’m overreacting?”
“If it makes you uncomfortable, then no. Have you talked to Brandt about it?” His voice was warm and soothing. He was like the brother I’d never had.
I should have told Brandt, and I felt guilty. There were several times at the airport as we sat in the back of his SUV that I’d wanted to tell him but hadn’t. Part of me knew it would upset him that a guy was bothering me, and I wanted to avoid those triggers.
“Umm—no, I haven’t,” I confessed.
“Why not?” Wesley sounded as though he was driving, too, as his blinker sounded through the speaker.
“Umm—I don’t know.”
“Nikola, that’s bullshit, and you know it. What are you afraid of?”
I liked how Wesley always called it like it was. It reminded me of Brandt.
I blew out a big breath. “I’m afraid any extra stress could make us lose what we’ve got and even send him back to drugs. Why bother him with problems that may not even be problems? I want us to work so badly that I’m afraid I’ll make us fall apart.�
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My lip began to tremble at the thought of losing Brandt again. I knew I needed to tell him everything.
“One second, Nikola.” There was mumbling on the other end of the phone. “Give me a second and I’ll be in.” There was more talking. I couldn’t make out who it was. “Sorry about that, Nikola. I’m over at Diane’s parents’ house. I’m going to talk to them about how I think Diane may be using again.”
I felt like shit bothering him with my petty drama. He had a girlfriend that might be on heroin again. I would be devastated if Brandt did that. It’s what terrified me.
“No, problem. We can talk later.”
“Sounds good. I’ll call you tomorrow. But, think about this: You can’t spend your relationship walking on eggshells because that’s not really a relationship. I could pretend I don’t think Diane is using and wring out the last few good days, but that doesn’t help anyone. Hit it head on. Be honest with Brandt about everything.”
In a whisper, I said, “I love him, Wesley. What if he only loves old me?”
A car door opened on the other end. “Then it’s better to know now than five years from now. You can’t stop living because you’re scared. You’ll either find middle ground, or you won’t.”
“Thanks, buddy.”
“Anytime. Call me if you need me. I’m always here for you. I’ll call you tomorrow to see how it went.”
“Sounds good. Good luck, Wesley. I hope you’re wrong about Diane.”
“Me, too.”
I hung up and drove, thinking about Wesley’s advice. He’d been my rock after losing Brandt. We’d helped each other put the pieces back together after losing our partners. I’d never felt more than friendship with Wesley. I think he felt the same way. I was going to tell Brandt tonight about Lance. He needed to know. I had to trust our love.
You guys will last or you won’t.
My insides knotted thinking the latter could actually happen. Hopefully, our love was strong enough. Hopefully. I would fight with everything I had to make it work.
My mind was a jumbled mess as I pulled into the Club Envy parking lot. It was a busy night. The red sign lit up the club name as people stood in line, waiting to get in. On the marquee it said: THRILLHAMMERS: LIVE TONIGHT! The band always drew a crowd, and I loved their sound. I’d seen them at a few different venues after Brandt and I broke up. Remembering to tell Brandt I was in the parking lot, I texted him.
Me: I’m here.
Brandt: Okay, I’ll be right out.
Brandt had always wanted to meet me at the car and bring me in the club. It made me feel special. Brandt came through the doors on the sex club side. He wore nice, dark-colored jeans with a thermal. His hair was loose, hitting his shoulders. He smiled as he jogged across the parking lot and I got out of my car.
“Hey there. I’m glad you’re here. I missed you while you were in New York.”
My smile spread wider across my face. “Missed you, too.”
I leaned in for a hug. Brandt’s strong arms came around me, and I loved how safe I felt. Pulling back, our eyes searched each other’s. The atmosphere charged between us, and I involuntarily licked my lips. This had happened in the back of his car the other day. My pulse quickened and the palms of my hands felt slightly sweaty. Brandt watched me closely and started to lean in. My body craved his lips. I wanted him. The moment our lips touched, need ignited within me. His lips were soft, yet firm, and I’d dreamed about them while we were apart. My memory had not done us justice.
The secret I’d been keeping came to mind as his tongue sought entrance. I needed to tell him about Lance first. I panicked and blurted, “I saw the Thrillhammers are playing tonight.”
Brandt had a confused look on his face, along with a flash of disappointment. He cleared his throat and pulled back slightly. I felt like a bitch as he responded, but my rattled insides kept me from speaking.
“They are. Want to go see them?”
I nodded. My nerves were all over the place, being somewhere that screamed of our sexy former relationship. But once we were in the club, I’d find a way to bring up Lance—I had to before we left tonight.
The music vibrated in the pavement. Tonight, I’d gone with skinny jeans and an off-the-shoulder sweater—classy and sexy. We made our way inside, passing Jethro, the bouncer. He was a giant, bald teddy bear, and he’d always been kind to me.
“Hey, Nikola, long time no see. Welcome back.”
I gave him a big hug. “Good to see you. How have you been?”
“Good! These fuckers keep me busy, but all’s good. Have fun in there tonight. Good to see the two of you together.”
I beamed and looked back at Brandt. “I couldn’t agree more.”
Brandt placed his hand on my lower back. I loved how possessive it felt.
Brandt smiled as he spoke, “I’m going to take Nikola inside”
“Sounds good.”
“Matt has security if you need anything.”
Jethro nodded. “It’s all good.”
Brandt nodded, and we went inside. The bar side of the club felt so familiar—I let it wash over me. Old street signs hung from rustic metal walls. Neon beer signs were lit up. The floor was packed with bodies dancing to the Thrillhammers. The band was in full swing, playing “Hippie House.” Momentarily closing my eyes, I fortified myself, pushing away the craving for his hard length. My body wanted Brandt badly—especially after barely kissing him in the parking lot. I wanted to feel his tip graze the sensitive nerve endings of my inner walls. Stop. I need to stop. I brought myself back to the now, preparing to talk about Lance.
As we made our way through the crowd I asked, “So, you told everyone we’re together?”
“I did. I said we’d started seeing each other. Are you okay with that?”
I smiled. “More than okay.”
Our hands were intertwined as we approached the bar. Brandt pulled out his phone and showed me the app he’d downloaded.
Brandt wiggled his eyebrows as I mock-slapped his chest.
“You’re incorrigible.”
His mouth came down to my ear; his hot breath tickling my skin. “I’ll wait forever, but when I do sink myself into you, I’m going to make it last. I remember, like it was yesterday, just how incredible you feel.”
His words made my face flush with passion. I remembered as if it were yesterday, too. His hand flexed against my waist. He knew what I was thinking. We’d always been able to sense each other’s feelings. What made us perfect for each other hadn’t changed. The thought made me smile—maybe our differences wouldn’t be so hard to overcome.
We continued toward the bar and I took a deep breath. A heady mixture of sweat and alcohol filled the room, forcing memories to the forefront of my mind. When I touched the bar, an image had desire spiraling through me: Brandt, after closing the bar, bending me over the countertop and taking me from behind. A vibrator was going to be in order tonight. I needed to distract myself.
“Is Adam here?”
“Did someone say my name?”
I turned at the sound of the familiar voice.
Adam was behind me, arms open. I jumped to give him a sisterly bear hug. When I’d left Brandt after getting him to rehab, Adam had never judged my decision.
“Hey, now. She’s my girl,” Brandt called from over my shoulder.
Adam released me a bit. He looked the same with his warm, chocolate eyes and short, messy, brown hair. However, there was one difference—he looked happy. I glanced back at Brandt with a loving smile.
Adam said, “Payback’s going to be hell, with how much you’ve hugged Ainsley.”
Brandt cursed behind us, and I giggled. A beautiful chestnut-haired woman with the palest blue eyes came and stood behind Adam.
He hugged me again. “It’s good having you around again. I missed you, Nikola.”
The warm reception from Jethro and Adam further mended my broken heart. When I’d left Brandt, I’d left some dear friends. I thought it wouldn’t
be fair to Brandt, still doing things with people he’d need to lean on during his recovery.
“I’ve missed you too, Adam. Is this the lucky girl who’s won your heart? I hear congratulations are in order.”
The sound of Brandt tapping his hand twice on the bar top caused me to turn and look his way for a second. The waitress came and sat a beer down in front of Brandt.
Adam’s voice took my attention away from Brandt. The woman, whom I’d assumed was Ainsley, stood beside Adam as he put his arm around her. Brandt had told me about her.
“This is Ainsley Pearson, soon to be Ryker. Ainsley, this is Nikola Kingston. Nikola owns her own company. She’s a strategist.”
Ainsley hugged me, and I could see how she’d been the person to sooth Adam’s wounds and give him the unconditional love he deserved. “Nice to meet you, Ainsley.”
We pulled back from the hug. Her features were warm, and I was glad she hadn’t taken offense to me hugging Adam like I had.
“Nice to meet you, too. We have something in common. I’m going to school for business analysis. I graduate this semester.”
“That’s what my degree is in! Congrats. Maybe we can talk shop sometime.”
Her eyes lit up. “Oh, I’d love that! Thank you.”
Brandt came from behind me and put his arm around my waist. I leaned into him, loving how this felt. He took a sip of beer and my nerves shot back up. Brandt used to drink when he did drugs. I tried to not overreact, but anything connected to the drugs had all my defenses up.
Domino Effect Page 7
