“And I can’t explain it.”
Kieran lowered her head to rest it against Memphis’ chest, kissing her skin, and then laid her head back down again. There were so many things about Memphis that surprised her; this was just one more.
They were all there and she was so nervous! She was sure that she would open her mouth to sing and nothing would come out. She peeked around the corner and saw them standing there, talking. Did they see her?
“What are you doing? You need to be ready!” exclaimed Miss Annie.
“I am ready. When do I get to go?”
“Soon, dear, soon. And you are going to sing like an angel, aren’t you? He will see you, I know he will! So much beauty in you, how could he not?”
She nodded, her expression suddenly reserved. She wasn’t sure she wanted him to see her. She wanted her mother and older sister to see her; she was so proud. Everyone told her she had such a beautiful voice, the voice of an angel. This was her big debut, and they would decide if she could be a star for them. She didn’t want to be a star. She just wanted her mother to see her again, the way she had before.
Walking out on stage, she did the curtsy they’d taught her, her pink dress flowing around her legs. The piano began and she started to sing. She got lost in the words of the hymn, talking about God and his wondrous love and how Jesus died for them all. Before she knew it, the song was over and everyone was clapping. Her mother—her mother was looking at her and smiling! Her deep brown eyes looked so happy. Then suddenly the men were there, and they were taking her into another room. She wanted to see her mother—why were they taking her away?
They left her in the room alone. She looked around, wishing she knew what was happening. They had told her that she was of age now… She didn’t know what that meant. She had turned twelve the week before and gotten her period for the first time two days ago. Is that what they meant? Why would that matter?
“You sing like an angel,” he said from the doorway.
She turned around and backed up a step or two. He was so tall! She hadn’t realized how tall he was before. She’d always seen him sitting down. She noticed that he didn’t have his Bible in his hands today. That was odd. She also noticed that he was rubbing his hands on his pants. She wondered why.
He walked toward her, reaching out to touch her under the chin. She turned her blue eyes up to him, knowing she was supposed to trust him. She’d been told he was her father, that he was everyone’s father and he was there to take care of them.
“You know, Cassidy,” he said softly, “you are a very beautiful girl.”
She looked up at him, unsure of what to say. She knew that she wasn’t supposed to talk to him; she wasn’t one of the chosen ones.
His hand slid down her neck, and to her surprise over her budding breasts. Her head snapped up and she stared at him in shock. She immediately shrank from the look in his eyes. Even in her innocence she recognized lust, and it made her queasy just to see it. Why was he looking at her that way? When his hand closed over her arm and he pulled her forward, she let out a small cry. He didn’t seem to notice, taking her hand and placing it on the zipper of his pants. He pressed her small hand against it. She felt his hardness and tried to move away. That’s when his other hand clamped down on her other arm. There was no escape now.
They were both asleep when Kieran felt Memphis moving sharply; it woke her up. She lifted her head. Memphis was dreaming. She reached up and touched her upper arm.
“Memphis?” she said softly.
She was stunned when Memphis literally jumped a foot away from her with a yelp of absolute terror, panting like she’d been running.
“Oh my God! Memphis!” Kieran reached out to touch her face. “It’s okay, it was just a dream!” Sitting up, she gently took Memphis’ head in her hands. “It’s okay,” she said, her eyes searching Memphis’. She could read panic there, even as Memphis closed her eyes and nodded slowly, trying to calm down.
After a few minutes, Kieran pulled Memphis back down on the bed, holding her, her hands stroking her face, her head, her hair.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she said softly.
Memphis shook her head vehemently.
“Okay,” Kieran said, nodding. “Just try to go back to sleep.”
Memphis drew in a deep breath and moved closer to Kieran, almost curling into a ball next to her. Kieran curled her body around Memphis’, doing her best to hold her.
“It’s okay… it’s okay…” she repeated over and over again, smoothing her hands over Memphis’ skin, kissing her shoulder and pressing her cheek against Memphis’. It took over an hour, but Memphis finally fell asleep again.
Kieran got a text from BJ to meet him downstairs at the Avenue Café at 8:30. She left a sleeping Memphis, along with a note as to where she’d gone. BJ was drinking a Bloody Mary; Kieran ordered coffee.
“So,” BJ said, looking at Kieran, “how’s Memphis doing?”
Kieran nodded. “She’s alright.”
“Did you know she could sing like that?”
“I found out the same way Cassie did.”
BJ nodded pensively. “There’s something going on with her, isn’t there?”
Kieran pressed her lips together, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “Honestly, BJ, I don’t know her that well, but there do seem to be a lot of things that she is very sensitive about, and those things seem to be stirred up lately. For the life of me, I couldn’t tell you what they are though.”
BJ nodded, appreciating Kieran’s honesty. He knew other people would lie to him to build themselves up; those weren’t the types of people he liked around him.
The waitress brought Kieran her coffee. BJ smiled at the girl, and Kieran was fairly certain the young woman was about to swoon.
“Mr. Sparks,” the waitress said, “would you sign an autograph for me? I have absolutely loved your music forever!”
“You don’t look old enough to have loved it for long, love,” he said, winking as he signed.
“Thank you so much!” the waitress said, biting her lip.
Kieran knew the girl was hoping to catch BJ’s eye. Apparently she’d never seen Allexxiss Ramsey-Sparks in person before; she’d know then that BJ Sparks was a very taken man. Finally the waitress wandered away. Kieran did her best to suppress a smile as she fixed her coffee.
“Knock it off,” BJ muttered, grinning.
“I didn’t say a word,” Kieran said, shaking her head.
“Yeah, it happens a lot, okay?”
“I’m waiting for my autograph.”
“You’ll get one on your paycheck,” he said, narrowing his eyes at her.
Kieran laughed softly.
“Look,” he said, putting his hand on the table between them. “I know what you just said about not knowing Memphis that well, but what I do know is that you seem to know exactly what to do to calm her down when she goes off the rails like that.”
“I’m still learning to do that.”
“But she trusts you.”
“I guess.” Kieran didn’t understand where this conversation was going.
“I’m thinking that I need you more on this tour than I do at the office,” BJ said, shocking Kieran into silence. “I’m worried about Memphis. I think something isn’t right with her, and I think that she needs someone that can keep an eye on her all the time.”
“But Remington and Quinn…”
“Are already protecting their girlfriends. I need to know that Memphis is covered.”
“I can’t protect her.”
“No, but you can get Remi or Quinn for that part. I just want you to be there to basically take her emotional temperature.”
Kieran looked hesitant, and downright nervous about the idea.
BJ gave her a measured look. “Have I overestimated how much you care about her?”
“No!” Kieran said immediately. “I adore her, I really do. I’m just worried that she’s going to see this as really invasive. She’s very p
rivate, BJ, and she won’t like the idea that you’re trying to handle her.”
“So we don’t tell her that’s what you’re on the tour for.”
“What do we tell her?”
“Well, the truth, actually, because what I also want you to do is handle things as they happen. If you guys get to the location and the hotel’s not ready or there are problems with the setup, you handle it for me. It’s easier than them trying to get a hold of Tabbie all the way in Los Angeles.”
“But I have no idea how to do any of that.”
“You’ll learn. Tabbie’s gonna stick with you for the first week to show you the ropes.” BJ could see the hesitation still clear in Kieran’s mind. “What?”
Kieran looked pensive, trying to decide if she should say what she was really concerned about. She knew that this man was really her boss, and that her really new relationship with Memphis wasn’t his concern. By the same token, her new relationship with Memphis was extremely important to her and she didn’t want to endanger it, not even for a job with BJ Sparks.
“I’m not sure it’s a good idea,” she said softly.
“Why?”
Kieran took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly. “Because Memphis and I have just had a major change in our friendship, and I’m afraid she’ll see this as a way to push a relationship with her, and I don’t want to do that to her.”
“This is business, Kieran,” BJ said evenly.
“To you it’s business, BJ, but for me, this is something that I really want to protect.”
“To the detriment of your career?” BJ raised a dark auburn eyebrow.
“Yes. She’s more important to me than my career,” Kieran said, her voice unwavering.
BJ looked back at her for a long moment, silently impressed with the girl’s resolve.
“Tell ya what,” he said, steepling his fingers in front of him. “Ask her what she thinks.”
Kieran stared back at him, her eyes widening. “Are you saying that if she’s not okay with it, you’ll be okay with me not doing it?”
BJ didn’t answer, his light blue-green eyes narrowing slightly.
Twenty minutes later, Kieran walked back into the hotel room. She looked down at Memphis, who now lay sleeping on her back, one arm thrown up over her head, her lean body on display. Kieran wasn’t sure what had changed in her, or when it had changed. She thought it was probably the night Memphis had told her she had been the one she’d been chatting with, but she had suddenly become so entranced by this beautiful but extremely enigmatic young woman. If she stopped to think about it, Kieran realized how odd it probably seemed that she’d only ever been with men before, but was suddenly very attached to a woman, both emotionally and sexually.
Part of her knew that at some point she’d have to more closely examine whether or not she’d always been gay, or if she’d just fallen for the person and not the gender. It wasn’t that Memphis was butch and therefore masculine—she really wasn’t—and it also wasn’t that she was the exact opposite of men, because she wasn’t that either. Memphis was simply the most interesting person Kieran had ever met, and she’d been attracted to her from the moment she’d met her. It was her personality, her way of being, her complete dedication to her craft, and it was also the sheer vulnerability that Kieran sensed in this woman with such a brash exterior. Everything about Memphis McQueen was enticing to her, and she knew that if Memphis even twitched like she didn’t want her on this tour, she’d turn down the job, even if it meant BJ would fire her. Memphis had become too important to her to take that chance.
Sensing Kieran in the room, Memphis stirred, opening her eyes and smiling when she saw Kieran standing above her.
“Hi,” she said tiredly as she held her right arm out.
Kieran kicked off her shoes and lay down next to Memphis, kissing her lips as she did.
“So, what did BJ want first thing this morning?’ Memphis said. She had awoken when she realized Kieran wasn’t in bed anymore, and saw the note.
“Well, he wants to change my job description,” Kieran said evenly.
“To what?”
“Well…” Kieran screwed her forehead up in a contemplative frown. “He basically wants me to act like a tour secretary.”
“Huh?” Memphis looked completely lost.
Kieran sighed. “He wants me to go on the tour with all of you and kind of keep things organized, things like making sure hotel arrangements are confirmed and locations are appropriate.”
Memphis nodded. She seemed completely unconcerned at the change in plans. “Probably be easier than having to get a hold of Tabbie in the middle of the night, like we’ve already had to a few times.”
“BJ said exactly that,” Kieran said, laughing. “Well, not that you’d already had to, but that it would be easier with someone there.”
“Cool.” Memphis smiled. “So we’ll get to hang more.”
“And that would be okay with you?” Kieran asked.
“Why wouldn’t it be?” Memphis looked mystified.
Kieran looked back at her, blinking a couple of times. “Well, I thought… I guess…” She sighed, shaking her head. “I was afraid you wouldn’t like it.”
Memphis looked down at her for a long moment. “Kier, you’re like my best friend right now, on top of now being my lover. What’s not to like?”
Kieran bit her lower lip. “Won’t I interfere with your, um, sports fishing?”
Memphis looked back at her openmouthed, then grinned. “You mean my catch and release program?”
Kieran laughed. “Yes, that’s what I mean.”
“Well, I figure you and I are friends with benefits.”
“Friends with benefits?”
“Yeah.”
“Is that what Carmalina is?”
“Basically, yeah. But she really is more NSA than FWB.”
“I’m sorry?” Kieran suddenly sounded very English.
“NSA is basically ‘no strings attached’ sex,” Memphis said. “Which is probably safest for Carma and me.”
“Safest?” Kieran was surprised by the word.
“Yeah, Carma and I get along fine for certain periods of time, and then she starts to piss me off… so it’s better we see each other in small doses.”
“Oh.” Kieran grimaced. “I would never have guessed.”
Memphis chuckled. “Carma is all sex appeal. When that wears off, there’s not a lot of substance behind it.”
“But you have the DJing in common, I thought.”
Memphis grinned. “Uh, yeah, she does the DJing thing to pick up women. I do it because I love the music. It’s completely different.”
Kieran shook her head. She looked completely shocked.
“What?” Memphis asked.
“I guess I really didn’t understand that at all.”
Memphis grinned. “Why? Because she was all heat and light?”
“She was definitely heat… I just thought that was the type of woman you were attracted to.”
“Kier, I’m attracted to women, period. Women are the most incredible thing on the planet, and I love everything about them,” Memphis said, smiling.
Kieran nodded, thinking that Memphis wasn’t exactly who she’d thought she was. She was far deeper and far more substantive than she’d realized. Memphis McQueen had a serious number of layers to her, and Kieran found it extremely enjoyable to see them one by one.
“So, I guess I can tell BJ that I’ll take the job,” she said.
“You damned well better,” Memphis said, grinning.
Immediately after Kieran called BJ to accept the job, she realized she didn’t have any clothes with her. Memphis immediately got out of bed and told her to get dressed—they were heading out. She took her to a place called Buffalo Exchange, a store where people sold their clothes to others. She insisted that Kieran buy jeans, T-shirts, a few nicer outfits, and more shoes. By the time they were done, Memphis refused to let her see the total, grinning because Kieran was aghast.
“You need clothes,” Memphis said, “and some of the stuff you brought from England was… totally not you.”
“I think who I am has changed since I started hanging around with you.”
“Do you like how you look now?” Memphis stood behind Kieran, her blue eyes looking at her in the mirror.
Kieran was wearing a pair of jeans that were cut perfectly for her body, making her legs look long and shapely, and a T-shirt that rather than being the boxy style she’d been wearing lately had a more curved fit. She had to admit she looked better.
“Yes,” she said, smiling.
“Then that’s what matters to me.”
Turning around, Kieran put her arms around Memphis’ neck and kissed her softly.
“Thank you,” she said, looking up into Memphis’ eyes.
Someone cleared their throat, and Kieran turned her head to see a man looking at her and Memphis like they were doing something wrong. She turned back to Memphis and saw that her eyes were like ice as she stared down the older man.
“Disgusting,” the man practically spat.
“Yes, hate always is,” Memphis replied evenly.
“I meant you two women!”
“And I meant you,” Memphis said, her eyes widening slightly.
“I’m a Christian, young lady.” The man drew himself up proudly.
“Uh-huh,” Memphis said. “Created in his image, right?”
“That’s right.”
Memphis nodded, her lips curling. “So your God is intolerant, sexist, and homophobic? Wow, some image.” She took Kieran’s hand, bringing it up to her lips and kissing it, then picked up their bags and walked out.
Outside, Kieran looked at Memphis in shock. “That was amazing and shocking, all at the same time. I’ve never had anyone talk to me that way before.”
“Uh, you’ve never been openly gay before, babe,” Memphis said, smiling.
“Well, that’s true.” Kieran looked over at Memphis as they got into the rental car Memphis had picked for their shopping trip, wanting to make sure they made it to the track on time. “Do you deal with that kind of thing all the time?”
“Not all the time, no. Mostly in hick towns. Vegas shouldn’t be one of them, but you never know.”
In Plain Sight Page 15
