The elderly couple I spent so many summers with had told me that the dream world encompasses all realms and integrates the living and the dead. I had learned this to be true because they helped me to travel to various dimensions on many occasions. It was not simply my imagination but real life phenomena that occurred. Of course, some people said I was delusional; but how then did I come back with ancient books and other items of interest to me? How had Anathema come to me if it was just a dream?
Truth cannot be hidden for long and it’s time for me to start using the light within me to illuminate the darkness. The only way I will be able to see through the veil, and unite with the power of the light that is beyond, is to face the darkness. Face it head on. Not for myself but for the benefit of all. The balance will shift when I find the woman. The path to her will take me to the end of life as I know it.
I am tired of the sadness of life, the utter heartbreak of it all and almost welcome my end. The prophetic dreams, with all the suffering they bring will fade away. I am chosen and to be chosen means to make sacrifices. I will die to myself and embrace the future blindly. The line between fantasy and reality has always been blurred so walking into the unknown may not be as difficult as I have imagined. It may be just as simple as taking a step forward and being on the other side. My only regret is that I have to go alone. I feel a heightened awareness of Tyler sitting behind me. Every part of my body aches for his touch. Just when I thought I was ok doing this alone he comes back. To what end? I think to myself.
I know I am half in this world and half out. I did not belong to the plane I had come from but neither do I belong to this plane. Finding the answers had become an obsession; like a moth attracted to the light. The moth intuitively knows the flame will kill and yet is unable to turn away.
My life has always been a mess and at the point of utter abandon then a gentle white light came. The guilt and worthlessness I had carried for so many years faded away and I glimpsed beyond my reality to my ultimate destiny. That was the day the Shining Ones told me about the Ancient of Days and showed me how things would unfold.
That day, I saw the warrior Angels that were protecting Jen, from the forces of darkness. Wickedness was coming through the portal and when I faced it head on I was able to reach deep in my mind and find an unknown source of power. The first time I felt the white hot light burning inside me was like an awakening. The power that I had tapped into was unlike anything I had ever imagined. The man in the tunnel had told me to go back to when I was young and I would find the answers. I had thought he meant to go back in memories to my childhood but it seems he had meant me to go back literally, revisit my childhood and find the parts of me that had long ago died.
The man in the tunnel was Bill. I had first seen Bill Nichols on the night I found the Dark Passage behind the bookshelves in the basement of the old house. I would later learn it was the very bookshelf where Maggie had hidden her journals. The tunnel led to 3 portals, one of which was the Underworld. The house had been erected on the very place the Tree Of Life had stood. It was the portal that remained from the remnants of Tree Of Life that the Angels had traveled down to protect Jen. They stood guard over the portals. No one could have taken Jen out of the portals unless she went willingly.
My mind is quietly reeling. The evening I saw David in the mist comes to mind. I remember the demon’s knowing smile and mocking words that soon we would meet. I will never forget that moment. That feeling of helplessness in knowing what I need to do. I felt sheer terror but know that no one is safe until I come face to face with death. It’s another piece to the puzzle of my life. A puzzle that grows more complex with each passing day.
I feel drained, empty. The answers are tied to an underground cavern. Inside the cavern is a lake of fire and on the other side is the demon’s lair. There is no doubt in my mind that there I will find not only Lisa and David but also Jen. The last conversation I had with Jen seemed a lifetime ago. She had been angry with me for not wanting to help Lisa and David. When I didn’t come back she must have gone in alone to find me. I have no doubt Bill followed her when he found out she had left.
My thoughts have become deeper and I am distracted with thoughts of my friends. Consumed with guilt, I wonder if they are still alive, and I force myself to stop worrying. I know firsthand what can happen when doubts creep into my mind. I don’t need to harbor feelings that I have failed miserable yet again. I take a deep breath to clear my mind. I will not entertain negative thoughts. I have no choice but to suppress my grief and keep moving forward. A lot of things have changed.
I am strong ; and I won’t fall apart. Maybe a little insane but Iknow what I have to do. It’s the choices I make now, that make me who I am; not the mistakes I have made in the past.
Chapter 13
I muster my courage and ride into the woods without saying a word. The forest is strewn with boulders and loose rock, suggesting that we are moving deeper into the core of the earth. Within twenty minutes we are descending a hill that buts up against the forest. My mind is filled with what might lurk in the forest. I catch glimpses of shadows amidst the tall trees and hold my breath.
I consider riding into the barren land to our left but we would risk being seen from the air. Should I go into the forest and risk an encounter with the shadows I have caught out of the corner of my eye? Dappled light streams through the trees as we approach midafternoon and we continue forward.
For a moment I stop and stare into the forest. Something had streaked past and I am certain it was a person. I look away and don’t say anything. If Tyler has seen it he isn’t saying anything so I let it go. I know that the closer we get to the inner core of this place the more horror we will see. I have seen the underground cave. It is filled with fire and the smell of roasting bodies. The image of the white man with the crooked smile fills me with dread.
We have been riding about an hour along the forest when I hear the branches rustle. Wind has picked up and the sky is darkening. As ominous as the woods seem it seems a good idea to take cover there. I turn to Tyler as I slide off of Jast.
“We need to take cover I think. Something is coming and I want to get out of sight”. Tyler nods simply and gets out of the saddle. He grabs his backpack and tosses mine over to me. He unties the blanket that is rolled behind the saddle and tosses it in my direction.
“Are you alright”? It’s a stupid question because there is nothing I can do for him either way. Feeling foolish I turn and lead Jast into the brush without giving Tyler the opportunity to reply. The weight of having Tyler around me is unsettling. For years I wanted nothing more than to be free from him but nowI’m not so sure anymore. Why do I always hook up with people who aren’t good for me? There is something about me and unconventional relationships.
Jast snorted as I tied the reins around the saddle horn and turned him loose. He trotted into the forest as though he knew that I wanted him to disappear from view.
“As right as I can be in this place”. Tyler said with a smile. I had forgotten momentarily that I had asked him a question.
I sling my backpack over my shoulder awkwardly and relief washes over me that he doesn’t strike up a conversation. I give him a shy smile and walk into the woods to find a place to hide out. I concentrate on the sounds in the forest and soon forget about my trepidation regarding Tyler.
The subtle beauty of the forest invigorates me and yet I feel like it’s all a mirage. Nothing here can be truly beautiful and this is not the place for new beginnings. It hurts to think about Tyler throwing me under the bus when I needed his help. The darkness that came after his betrayal nearly destroyed me. I became a miserable person who was a drain on everyone around me. And yet- something good came out of the darkness of my life. The hurt and darkness molded me into someone who was free of pain, regret and circumstances- I let go of all my flaws and the rot of my former self and walked into the light. I had become- something more- free to be who I was always meant to be. I had been chosen. I am di
fferent now and sometimes doing the right thing means to walk alone. I have learned that true beauty rises from the ashes of ruin.
I combed the area and find a dense bank of brush growing wildly alongside a few old growth trees. It seems a good place to lay low for a while until my uneasiness passes.
An eerie silence permeates the air, and I call to Tyler, trying to keep the alarm out of my voice. I sit here waiting for him and listening sharply. I finally see Tyler approaching and motion for him to hurry. Silently he makes his way over and follows me into the bushes. We crawl under the dense brush and pull the dark blanket from my saddle pack over us. I am surprised to hear Tyler’s rapid heartbeat and make it a point to keep a few inches between us. We remain still and scan the barren land that stretches out before us. The silence is deafening and I can sense something moving in our direction.
A strong wind comes from nowhere and dark clouds roll onto the skyline. From a mile or so away I can just make out a patch of red light. There is a large group of horses and riders making their way toward us. In the middle of the light I can see dark shapesalmost manlike in appearance. As they close the distance between where we are hiding I see dark figures streaming with fire walking alongside the humans. It appears to be a procession of demons with their human captives.
Groans of suffering come from the procession and as it grows closer I can smell the stench of death. There are black horses with demons riding them. The demons look much like people only their eyes burn with rage and their features are distorted. Heat seems to radiate from their bodies and yet they do not burn.
The massive war horses they ride have burning eyes and when they snort it sounds like the roar of a wildfire. They physically have the appearance of horses but I have the feeling they are a class of lower level demons.
The animals seem to have not only keen intelligence in their eyes but also something evil. Froth falls from one animal’s mouth as it tosses its head and strains to move at a faster pace. The demon riding it pulls sharply on the reins and blood mingles with the froth that falls to the ground. Sharp spurs bite into its side as the demon pulls the animal back. Blood drips from the wounds and the animal snorts in defiance. The massive horse half rears and tosses its head in frustration.
The sound of a whip snapping, followed by a scream, draws my attention away from the horse. The procession is about a quarter mile away now and I can see the human captors walking in the middle of the demon guards. There is dust being kicked up at the end of the procession that appears to be coming from something being dragged. There are two horses with ropes tied to their saddles, dragging what appears to be, a man.
Is this just an illusion or is this man alive? I have always thought that when someone died and went to hell they were only spirit- and yet it appears that this man has a physical form that stirs up dust. Perhaps the dead are not only spiritual beings but also have a physical form and energy once they reach the other side? Is death simply a veil of illusion? Tom had told me once that people never die. They just move on to another place.
The truth is out there, forgotten over the centuries and probably closer than I ever imagined. It is beyond the constraints of time and part of the light. The blinding light that comes from the source of power. The trees above rustle as the wind picks up and a blast of heat warms the cool air of the forest. I shiver despite the warmth as a loud boom erupts in the distance. The ground trembles with a mild earthquake and I reach instinctively for Tyler.
“I’m sorry for everything Ivy. I wish there had been another way”. I blink in surprise. “What do you mean?” Tyler turned his head to look at me. He rested on his arm and stared thoughtfully for a moment. He looked drained and exhausted as if he had been up for many days.
Where is this going? I think to myself. Tyler has been keeping secrets from me for years and all of a sudden he wants to unburden his conscious. Why now? It’s strange how people think they can undo the past with a few words. So here it is. The explanation I had been waiting for all this time.
He looked gloomy in the shadowy light. He looked like he did when I had first spoken with him years ago. Flashes of that horrible day crossed my mind. I had been riding on the golf course before the green keepers started work for the day. I was riding too fast and didn’t see the hole until it was too late. My horse came crashing down and snapped his leg. I had been thrown over his head and slid over the damp grass creating a huge mess. It was illegal to ride on the green but I thought it would be fun to do it before anyone was around. I hadn’t thought that my horse could be killed or even considered getting caught. I was in deep trouble and also had to find a way to put my animal down. I was desperate and didn’t know what I would do. Then he rode up on his own horse and dismounted to help me up. His hair was falling messy across his face that day and he seemed unsure of what to say to me. That same look is in his eyes now.
“ It was the day we had planned to go to Saltys. I was late getting home from work and was in a hurry to shower so I could pick you up. I had thrown my keys down in a hurry and couldn’t remember where I had put them. You were waiting for me at the library and I didn’t want to keep you waiting. I had the perfect night planned out and had a surprise for you”.
I stopped for a moment as though searching for just the right words to say to me.
I was walking by the study and heard voices inside. I stopped to listen and heard them talking about you”.
I blinked in surprise. “They were talking about me?” He nodded and then continued his story. “There was something urgent in the words and I put my ear against the door to hear them better. Then I heard a commotion inside and the door was jerked open. My father stood there and behind him I saw my mother. There was a man I had never seen before sitting on the sofa facing the fireplace”.
“How did you know it was me they were talking about?” I said. Tyler put a hand on my arm and continued. “At first they said nothing but there was something odd about the way they looked at one another. The sun was blazing through the window but it was quite cold in the room. My mother and father glanced at each other and then at the man sitting on the sofa beside her. The man stood up and gestured for me to come into the room. When I had crossed the room he bade me to sit in one of the chairs facing the sofa”.
Tyler’s face looked hollow and he appeared stressed. He looked away for a moment- a faraway look in his eyes. “Tyler?” I said. Tyler met my eyes and then turned away for a moment. I couldn’t help but notice the angle of his jawline and the way his hair fell messy across his face.
“What is it?” I said trying to keep myself on topic. “They told me that you were from the otherworld. They said that you were here to lead a rebellion and unite the people with the light”.
My eyes grew incredulous. “How did they know that?” I said in a whisper. Tyler met my eyes before going on. “They told me that they were going to kill you. They said that you would destroy my family and anyone who stands in your way.
I looked at him with surprise. “Why would they think I wanted to destroy your family?” He ran his fingers through his hair hesitantly. “You are from the light and we are from the darkness. Prophesy said that you would destroy my family as a result of bringing the light”.
“What do you mean your family is from the darkness? Why in the world would they think I had the ability to destroy anyone? I am the daughter of a drunken father and a mentally ill mother. I am nobody and have no special powers. I couldn’t even save my baby brother or sister from my father”. I trailed off as tears collected in my eyes threatening to spill out.
Tyler placed his hand over mine and gave a gentle squeeze. I held back a sob and brushed the tears with the back of my hand.
“I know you don’t believe it”. He said gently “but you are the girl that the prophesy spoke of in the diaries”.
“You know about the diaries? How do you know?” I said quietly.
He nodded his head and held my gaze.“There’s more”. He said.
“Y
ou were the one that held the key to the light. At first they wanted Jen’s husband to kill you but they didn’t figure on Bill getting involved.”
“Bill is involved in all this?” I said with surprise and Tyler nodded his head.
“So then Jen’s husband, John, was involved as well?”
“Yes. He was sent to marry Jen so that he could get to you”.
“Poor Jen. He never did love her then”. I said absently
Tyler shrugged. “He didn’ t at first but I think toward the end he realized what he had found in her but it was too late. The marriage was over at that point and Jen was being protected by the guardiansin Bill’s house”.
I didn’t say anything for a moment. I just took in what he said.“Bill is a Shining One then?” Tyler took a deep breath. “Bill’s mother was adopted by the same family as Lisa’s mother. They were a type of host family and took children and raised them as their own”. Tyler looked uncomfortable and hesitated before going on.
“You see. Everyone has a free choice to choose their destiny. Many are called but few are actually chosen. It is a decision that is made on the individual level. You as well as Bill’s parent’s chose to leave the high realm to come here to keep the balance. Bill didn’t have a choice until he was in the hospital and learned the truth and then he chose his destiny”.
I closed my eyes for a moment to stop my mind from spinning.“So Bill learned at that time that he was the son of a chosen couple? Then he helped Jen and me by protecting the house?”
Tyler looked away. His expression looked tense. “Jen was protected so that you would not be destroyed by her death. She was meant to be a sacrifice to open the veil so the darkness could be released. You see, everything bad that has happened to you was a result of interference by the dark side”.
My mind reeled from what I was hearing. All these years I have lived under the shadow of the dark side? Why had I been raised by such a violent family?
Underworld (Dark Passage) Page 15
