by Marla Monroe
“Tell us, cher. I can feel your sadness and that you are upset. What is it?” Gaston tilted her chin up to look into her eyes.
Shayla pulled her chin from his hands and shrugged. She didn’t want to talk about it. Once she did, she was afraid they would look at her differently for being so intolerant. She carried her guilt and after her attack had hoped that had been punishment enough for what she’d done. She didn’t want anything to spoil what she had now. She’d never felt so cared for, so loved. They told her they loved her. Did she really believe them? Yes, she did. The way they touched her and looked at her spoke of love, and one so deep it would take a lot to destroy it. Did she have the strength to test it?
If they truly love me, nothing I say could ruin it. They might be disappointed, but they won’t stop loving me. Right?
Shayla figured she needed to know now rather than later, when she was so far and deep in love that she wouldn’t survive losing them. She wasn’t so sure it wasn’t too late for that, though. Taking a deep breath, she spoke before she talked herself out of it.
“I’m the reason my best friend is dead. I as good as killed her with my own hands,” she said then waited, holding her breath with dread of their reaction.
Chapter Twelve
“Cher! Why would you ever believe that?” Gaston asked her.
“Because I was ashamed of her gris-gris and didn’t want her wearing it that night. Then she was murdered, and I know she wouldn’t have been if she’d been wearing it.” Tears burned in her eyes as she tried to keep them from falling.
“Tell us what happened, boo,” Beau said, running his hand up and down her back in a soothing gesture.
Shayla told them how she convinced Lisette to leave her talisman behind that night they went to the bar. They’d argued about it, Lisette accusing her of being a snob. She’d been right. Shayla had felt as if the strange necklace her friend wore everywhere was a symbol of ignorance and poverty. They were going out to a nice bar where a lot of influential people would be, albeit in a bad part of town. The idea of her friend wearing that god-awful bag around her neck horrified her.
Now she wished with all her heart she’d been wearing it that night. She was positive it would have saved her. Had she not influenced the others to convince her to leave it behind, her friend would still be alive, celebrating with them.
When she had finished, she expected them to look harshly at her for her intolerant snobbishness. Instead, their eyes held nothing but sympathy and understanding. That her mates—who had to remain hidden so people didn’t brand them as animals, freaks, or monsters—seemed to understand her mindset at the time and the intense remorse she felt overwhelmed her.
“Cher, you were young and faced with something you didn’t understand and had no experience with. Don’t blame yourself for her death. The gris-gris might not have protected her if it had been something outside of what it had been cast to do. Neither would it have protected her if the danger had been preternatural and stronger than the gris-gris. There are so many reasons that it isn’t your fault.” Gaston pulled her into his arms and rested his chin on her head.
“She shouldn’t have removed it no matter your beliefs. She simply could have slipped it beneath her clothes or put it in her purse or pocket if she truly believed and wanted to wear it.” Beau continued to rub her shoulders while she lay against Gaston’s strong chest.
“But what if she did it so I wouldn’t look down on her? We were so close, and I ridiculed her beliefs that night. Why that night when I’d never let it bother me before?” she asked.
“Perhaps there was something preternatural at work to influence you. You would have been no match for magic or Voodoo, or even Vodun, boo. They are far stronger than humans give them credit. It might have been that you were under the influence of something evil and strong of which you had no protection against.” Beau nuzzled the back of her neck, a comforting measure, she was sure.
“I’ve felt so guilty all these years. I’m not sure how to forgive myself. The others had always teased her about the gris-gris and always asked her to leave it at home when we went anywhere, but I’d never done it before. And on that night, of all nights, I did, and she didn’t wear it.” Shayla shook her head. The guilt had eaten at her for years. Was it time to put it behind her and start over? How could she make her betrayal right for her friend?
Memories of her attack poured over her, as if forced down her throat. Had that been her punishment for her part in Lisette’s death? At the time, nothing had made sense. Why had she been attacked? It had been as if they were lying in wait for her when she had nothing of value, and they hadn’t taken anything from her. Shayla’s beating had drawn blood, and once she’d bled, all he’d done was smear it on her forehead and leave. Suddenly she remembered some of the things she’d read just after Lisette’s death. Something about it being a ritualistic killing. Had they been connected?
“What is it, cher? You are upset again and thinking of something bad. No more bad thoughts,” Gaston said as she pulled from his arms and scooted to the edge of the bed.
She just sat there thinking back over all she knew and what she could remember of the attack. She’d had such a horrible fear and dread from that night on. Her entire lifestyle had changed, and she’d confined herself with her work, venturing out only when necessary. This trip had been the first time in years that she’d left not only her home but her city. While the others often met to vacation together, she’d always begged off. It all had to be connected somehow.
“What if my changes were triggered by our meeting and, um, the sex? I have this birthmark that you say indicates I’m of royal blood. If I hadn’t come to New Orleans when I did, we might never have met. If we hadn’t felt the need to seek closure from Lissette’s death, we would never have been in that cemetery when there was a supernatural fight going on. How was I able to cross that line and resist that spell of repulsion that was supposed to turn me away?” She looked back at her men.
Her men. I guess they are. They claimed me, so that makes them mine just as much as I’m theirs.
“What are you saying, Shayla?” Gaston asked with furrowed brows.
“I think I’ve been manipulated ever since that night. I’ve already paid for my part in Lissette’s death and have been paying ever since, but something pushed past that curse or whatever it was and helped me fulfill my destiny—finding the two of you.” She smiled, feeling the burden of her guilt finally lift, leaving her with a heady since of freedom and purpose for the first time since her best friend had been murdered.
“That is possible, cher. There do seem to be too many coincidences for there not to be someone’s hand in it. Evil breeds evil and can last a very long time, especially if the person it is working on feels that they deserve the things it causes in their lives. Were there other things over the years that might have been the result of its hold over you?” Gaston asked as he and Beau scooted toward the edge of the bed to sit next to her once again.
She froze, not wanting to tell them about that night. She’d endured it by herself for so long that sharing it with them frightened her, almost as much as the heavy guilt had frozen her for years.
“Shayla. Don keep your secrets. There are none between mates. We will always feel you in our hearts. Even now I can feel your pain and fear. Nothing will ever come between us.” Gaston tilted her chin toward him and kissed her gently on the lips.
When he let her go, she sighed and realized he was right. She could feel their worry and love for her, though they hadn’t really said so. They would be able to feel her anxiety and the memory of the pain and shame that had consumed her at the time.
“Nearly two years after Lissette’s death, we had all graduated and were out on our own. I was working at a large clinic with several physicians as their insurance clerk and receptionist. I enjoyed my job and had always been outgoing and a people person. One night, when I was on my way home from a friend’s house, there was someone, or maybe something, waitin
g for me. I never saw him. He grabbed me from behind and growled something in my ear, but I didn’t understand what he said.” She shivered, remembering the feel of his greasy skin and the stench of his breath. He had been strong, so strong, and she weak.
“What happened, boo?” Beau’s voice had gone cold and low.
She could feel the tense muscles in Gaston’s arm that encircled her waist and his tense thigh pressing against hers. They were angry for her. It went a long way to helping her to calm down.
“I don’t remember a lot about it, but he hurt me. He beat me, and when I was crying and bleeding, he ran his hand in my blood and then rubbed it somehow on my forehead. I never saw it to see what he’d done.
That was when I was found in the bushes and woke up in the emergency room. When I got home, I crawled into the shower and just sat there until the cold water forced me out. I never told anyone else, and I don’t know why, but it changed my life after that. I started working from home and wouldn’t leave for anything except when I had to.” She squeezed her eyes shut, remembering the mind-numbing fear that had plagued her for a long time after that.
Beau and Gaston exchanged words in their Cajun French that she couldn’t understand. Their voices were low, but the venom in them was easy to hear and feel. Finally they stopped, and Gaston pulled her onto his lap and cradled her in his arms while Beau got up and walked into the bathroom.
“It is all over now, cher. You will never have to go through anything alone again, and we will protect you with our lives.”
“But what about your pride, Gaston? They are not going to accept me. Look at what happened with those female panthers. They hate me,” she reminded him.
“Non, cher. There was a demon involved in that. The guards were lured away so that the females could attack you. They were under the influence, as well. We aren’t sure if there was magic involved or if it was entirely demon-oriented. I’m beginning to sense a pattern, though. I think the demons are trying to prevent something from happening, and eliminating you might be their next step.” Gaston stood up with her in his arms.
“But the attack! He or it or whatever could have easily killed me then. Why didn’t he? Why now?” she asked.
Gaston shook his head and walked across the room to where Beau stood in the bathroom doorway waiting on them. “Maybe his true purpose hadn’t been to kill you, but he required your blood to complete the spell. It could be he was providing a protection spell even though it required him to harm you, and now that you are here, it no longer works and it is up to us to keep you safe.”
* * * *
Shayla had dismissed Gaston’s suggestion of the protection spell as ludicrous considering the effect the attack had had on her. Why would someone have to harm her to help her? It didn’t make sense to her, but then she’d never really had to deal with magic, or the paranormal before. What did she know about how things worked?
After their shower, Beau had fixed a nice meal for them and the two panthers sat outside on the porch with her to meet more of their pride. To her surprise, anyone who ventured close to them seemed more curious than hostile toward her. After the confrontation with the two females, Shayla had expected the entire pride to resent and despise her. It didn’t seem to be as bad as she’d feared.
“See, they aren’t really as upset as you were thinking, boo. A bad magic had affected them all, though it was just those two who had been under the influence of something malevolent who attacked you. They are devastated at what they nearly did. Since we can smell a lie or deception, we’re satisfied with what we found and know that they do not really feel that way,” Beau told her as he squeezed her hand.
“Are you sure they aren’t just hiding it from you? I can’t believe they would be okay with a human as your mate. I mean, you’re their leaders and you didn’t pick one of them,” she said.
“Non, Shayla. They might have been a bit upset at first, but once word got around of your partial shift and your ability to protect yourself, they are more in awe of you than anything else,” Beau explained with a wink.
“What else is worrying you, cher? I can feel it just beneath the surface,” Gaston said.
“I guess I’m missing my friends and worried if they are all okay. What happened to them back at the cemetery after we all got separated? Did they get hurt, or did they not even know about the war going on or see the fight? I hope they were oblivious and nothing happened to them.” She couldn’t believe that she hadn’t heard from them since the initial text from Dani.
“I’m sure they are well. If you don hear from them by the time you are supposed to return home, we will locate them for you. You will want to tell them you are not going back. You are staying with us,” Gaston said with finality in his words.
Although he was right and she belonged here with them, she didn’t like his high-handed attitude. She sighed. Of course he was used to those around him bowing to his word no matter what it was. She was going to be a challenge for him, she mused. She thought she just might be looking forward to that.
“Where?” Gaston was saying as she refocused on what was going on in front of her.
One of the guards she’d met when she’d first gotten there was standing in front of them talking about something to do with demons.
“Just outside the parameter of our lands. Having Arial strengthen the wards must have worked. He’d paced up and down the area as if trying to find a weak spot in order to cross into our land,” the other cat said.
“Why all of a sudden are we having trouble with the demons?” Beau wondered out loud.
“It’s your new mate, sir. I’m sure of it. Why else would they use their powers to convince our females to attack her? Somehow she, or maybe the three of you together, threaten them, and they are trying to break that link so they feel safe again,” the guard suggested.
“What about Shayla or us as a triad would threaten them?” Gaston murmured.
Shayla could almost see the thoughts going through his mind and felt them racing as he considered all the possibilities. She realized that she loved him and Beau far deeper than she’d anticipated so soon in their relationship. It worried her a little. It gave the two cats power over her. They could easily use her intense love for them to make her do what they wanted. She shook her head. They wouldn’t do that. She knew they wouldn’t. Why had that thought even crossed her mind? Demons.
“They’re still here somewhere,” she said, staring out over the heads of those milling around.
She felt Gaston still next to her. That preternatural ability unnerved her the most. The way they could become as still as stone seemed unnatural and freaked her out. Now, as she watched them, she couldn’t even discern if they were breathing or not, though she knew they were.
“How do you know, cher?” he asked without looking at her.
“I can feel them pushing to make me doubt the two of you. They’re trying to make me think you would use me and use the way I feel about you against me. I know that’s not true, but I’ve caught myself a few times since we’ve been out here starting to think the worst of you. It has to be the demon since I don’t really feel that way,” she assured them.
Beau leaned over and kissed her on the temple then took her hand in his and squeezed it. It made her feel better, but she still couldn’t shake the unease that had settled over her since she’d first began to feel the mistrust that still plagued her.
“We need to ask Arial to come back and drive him off then cleanse the area of the residual evil that he’s spread,” Beau suggested.
“I agree,” Gaston said, nodding. “I sure would like to know the reason behind all of this, though. What about our mate scares them so much that they risk another fight from us?”
“I still think it has to do with the three of you. Maybe it is as simple as that the power the three of you might wield has them running scared,” the guard offered.
“Maybe,” Gaston said as he seemed to be thinking of something.
“What is it
, frère?” Beau asked.
Shayla stared at Gaston, watching his facial expressions. Normally he didn’t show much of what he was thinking on his face, but right then, his worry appeared clearly in his eyes and the set of his mouth.
“The prophecy says that a new order will come into light with the three royals’ joining. What if that new order marks the beginning of the end, or just the end, of the demons’ powers? That would motivate them to act irrationally in order to eliminate the weakest of the three, which would seem to be the mere human.” Gaston squeezed her hand, wanting to convey that he didn’t think as much, but she knew she was the weakest of the three of them. She didn’t have the ability to shift, or the super strength they had, so he was right and she was the weakest of them.
“So how is it that we are a threat? How would you destroy them or send them back wherever they came from?” she asked.
“By joining to become a triad, our individual strengths are multiplied so that together we are individually stronger than we were apart. Together, we are strong enough to overcome some leaders who don’t have the combined powers of three like we have. We would never do that unless it was a life-or-death situation for those in our protection, but it is a possibility that I’m sure worries some of the less desirable groups—such as the demons and dark practitioners.” Gaston shrugged. “Potentially, we could send the demons back to where they came from.”
“Then what are we waiting for?” she asked, jumping to her feet and frowning at them. “We should start working on that so they aren’t threatening the pride anymore.”
Beau smiled and pulled her onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her so that her hands were trapped against her body.
“Sweet boo. It’s not that simple. Plus there are some demons who don’t practice their pranks and seek out people to torment and corrupt. In fact, it is a good possibility that the one who attacked you did so to save your life. We just don’t know.”
