by Zane
“No, you aren’t going anywhere!” He caught up to me on the stairs, tore the robe off me, and pushed me down on one of the steps. Then he took his dick out his pants, moved my panties to the side with his fingers, and fucked me right there on the steps. “We’ll do it your way. I would rather have a part of you than nothing at all.”
For a brief moment I feared him. There were times when he seemed to have an evil side to him, but I could never pinpoint it. I would often try to ask him about his older brother and sister, but he would become tense and change the subject. The only halfway decent response I ever received from him was, “They’re long gone!” I had no idea what that meant.
Driving home that night, I wondered whether I should break it off with Quinton for good. In my heart, I knew it was the right thing to do, and only trouble could come out of it if I continued the affair. He had laid his cards on the table and made me well aware of his wants and desires. Continuing to fuck him meant three things: trouble for him, trouble for me, and trouble for my marriage. But I couldn’t stop. I was straight-up hooked. I was addicted.
chapter
sixteen
“Peter, get Kyle down off of there before he falls and busts his head open!” It was family outing day, and Jason and I had taken all the kids to the park for a picnic.
“Zoe, don’t yell at them like that. Let boys be boys.”
I sat back down on the blanket next to Jason, after being comfortably sure Kyle wouldn’t fall off the jungle gym. “Jason, you talk that mess now, but you’ll be the first one having a panic attack if one of them gets hurt.”
He smiled at me. “Well, you have a point there.”
Jason looked so gorgeous with the sunlight shining across his face and the breeze blowing through his curly hair. “So, how’s work been going, Boo?”
“Hmm, it’s okay. I’m trying to finish up the blueprints on the new civic center.”
“I’m so proud of you. You’re really coming into your own.”
“I’m proud of you too, baby.”
I started picking at the grass, pulling blades of it up and tossing it aside. I was trying to figure out a way to talk to him about sex. I was so scared. Kind of like the people on talk shows who bring their lovers halfway across the country to tell them something because they didn’t have the nerve to tell them in the privacy of their own homes. “Jason, I think I have a problem.”
“What problem is that, Boo?”
He was sitting there munching on some seedless grapes, intently watching me for a reply, and there was no way in hell I could come out and tell him I had been fucking another man, so I settled for a different approach. “I don’t think my fascination with sex is normal. Some pretty strange things have been happening lately.”
I knew immediately he would get nervous. The mere mention of sex always made him nervous. He started looking away from me, pretending to be spellbound by a flock of birds. “Strange things like what, Zoe?”
My big chance had finally arrived. It was time to come clean and confess everything. “Jason, I’ve been mastur—”
“MOMMY!” Jason was up off the ground before I was, rushing to see what was the matter. Kyle had indeed fallen off the jungle gym and scraped a knee. After I cleaned the wound with a towelette and put a bandage on it from the first-aid kit Jason kept in the Land Rover, Jason gave him a piggyback ride around the playground area to cheer him up.
So much for coming clean. I had the other two kids help me gather up all the picnic items and put them in the truck. On the drive home, Jason came up with what he thought was the solution to all of my problems. “Zoe, about what you were saying before, I think you’re just stressed out from working too hard.”
“But I never got a chance to tell you what I meant.”
“I know, but we can’t discuss it in front of the kids. We’ll talk about it later.” My heart felt like stopping. “Like I was saying, I think you’ve just been working too hard. Why don’t you call up Brina and plan a girls’ night out or something? I’ll watch the kids.”
Little did he know, in the past few months I had barely gotten any work done at all, since I was spending more time at Quinton’s loft than at the office. “Okay, Jason, maybe I’ll do that.”
I decided hanging out with Brina wasn’t such a bad idea. It had been ages since we spent some time alone, just the two of us, and I was hoping she would be more receptive to my problems than Jason. I needed someone to talk to, and my husband was obviously not the one.
After we got home, I called Brina and left a message on her voice mail, telling her I wanted to get together that night. She called me back while I was soaking in the tub, and Jason brought me the cordless. He acted like he was embarrassed to look at me naked and handed me the phone with his eyes averted.
Brina and I decided to meet at a club downtown about eleven. I threw on a white spandex dress with white heels and pushed my hair up in a bun. Jason kissed me good-bye and told me to have a nice time. Then I was on my way.
When I got to the club, the Zoo, it was pandemonium in its finest form. I’ve never seen so many people sweating to get into a club before in my life. I waited on the sidewalk, opposite the red velvet rope where people were lined up awaiting a chance to get in, and looked at every car that drove by, wishing Brina would hurry the hell up. I was going to suggest we go someplace else when she got there because I didn’t think we had a prayer of getting in the place anytime soon.
She finally came strutting up the sidewalk about eleven-thirty, having parked around the block where I didn’t see her pull up. Girlfriend wasn’t playing either. I thought my dress was bordering on hoochie, but Brina’s was straight-up slutty. Hell, I’m not even sure you could call it a dress. Less than 30 percent of her body was covered, so it was more like a rag. Girlfriend had her torso, her arms, her legs, and half her ass exposed. She was sporting that black hoochie mama shit too.
“Damn, ’bout time, Brina! I was getting ready to go home and take my ass to bed.”
“Sorry, Sis.” We hugged and kissed each other on the cheek. “I was trying to make sure I had everything in the right place before I left out.”
“Not much to put in the right place. Your ass is half naked.” She gave me a slight punch in the arm, and we both laughed.
“Zoe, shaddup, Sis!”
“Brina, look at this line. We have a better chance of getting in a Michael Jackson concert. Let’s go someplace else.”
“Hell, no. We’re going up in this bitch right here. Follow-me, Sis.”
I followed her and thought she had lost her damn mind when she bypassed the entire line of people waiting and walked straight up to the bouncers instead. “Hey, Snake, ’sup, Boo?”
Damn shame she knew the man! I knew why he was nicknamed Snake right off the bat. His muscular arms were covered with snake tattoos, and to be honest, his face resembled a boa constrictor, but that’s neither here nor there.
“ ’Sup, Brina? You’re looking mighty fly tonight!” She gave him a peck on the lips, and I wanted to hurl.
She pointed at me. “This is my best friend, Zoe. It’s her first time here.”
He shook my hand and held it while he gave me the once-over. “Nice to meet you, Zoe.”
With that, he unhooked the rope and let us enter the club in front of all the others. “You ladies have a nice time.”
I joined Brina in saying, “Thanks, Snake!”
Once we found two stools at the bar, I got all in Brina’s business. “I take it you come here a lot?”
She lit a cigarette. I desperately wanted to take a pull but refused to even go there. “Gurrrrrrrrrlllllllllll, have I got some shit to tell you!”
“Well, I could use some good news, so tell me.”
The bartender came over and took our drink orders. “I started coming here about two months ago. A sistah from work turned me on to this bitch. Anyway, about the third time I fell up in here, I met this fine-ass nucca named Dempsey. We’ve been talking ever since.”
“You go girl! I didn’t know you had a new man. Tell me everything. I want all the details, and of course all the dirt.”
The bartender returned with Brina’s rum and coke and my banana daiquiri. For the next fifteen minutes, we sat there chatting and giggling while she told me all about her new love interest. Little did I know then that the Mr. Wonderful she was describing would end up beating her ass as a recreational sport in the near future.
I was a bit tipsy. Okay, I was tore the fuck up! I started looking around the club and decided it was a badass club. They had these cages with scantily clad dancers in them, both male and female, and they had live animals such as birds, raccoons, koala bears, and even a silver-back gorilla, all locked up in cages.
They were playing mostly reggae, and the dance floor was packed to the brim. The club had wall-to-wall fineass men in it. My ass had no business looking, but there was one who stood out from the rest like a black man at a Ku Klux Klan meeting. He was too damn fine but was surrounded by a shitload of woman trying to get in his pants, so I ordered another drink and just admired his fineness from afar.
He was tall, real tall, just like my husband, give an inch or two, dark like licorice and looked just as tasty. What really attracted me to him was his pearly-white smile, his dimples, and his round, muscular ass. I imagined his ass muscles contracting while he pumped his dick in and out of me. My mind was truly in the gutter.
“Brina?”
“Yes, Sis?”
I decided to come on out with it. “I met this guy. A really famous African-American artist named Quinton Matthews.”
“Cool, what kind of art? Sculpting, painting, what?”
“Painting. He’s most famous for his murals, though. You know that mural we walked to from my office that time?”
“Yeah, the one at the MARTA station?”
“He did that one.”
This guy came up, interrupted me, and asked me to dance. He was a true countrified bama so I said, “No thanks!” Besides, I really wanted to come clean with Brina.
“That’s great. So how old is he? What does he look like? Hook a sister up, Zoe!”
She was so far off base, it was pathetic! “Brina, you just got finished telling me all about your new man like two seconds ago. Dempsey. Remember him?”
We both giggled. “Hell, yeah, I remember him, but you know us bachelorettes need to have at least one man riding the bench at all times for backup purposes.”
“You’re silly!”
“I’m just telling it like it is. All of us can’t be lucky enough to find true love like the kind you and Jason have.”
Damn, why did she have to say that! I lost my nerve. I was about to tell her I was having an affair, but how could I after she said that? Everyone on the outside looking in has always thought my life was perfect. Little did they know my life was barely satisfying at the best of times and pure agony at the worst. I was about to come on out with it anyway when this pimp daddy wannabe came up to us.
“Hey, lovely ladies. ’Sup now?”
I didn’t answer, but Brina did. “ ’Sup with you?” “Chillin’, love. Just chillin’.” I pegged him to be one of those brothas who was chillin’ twenty-four hours a day. “Wanna dance?”
Brina looked at me as if she needed my permission. “Zoe, you mind?”
I couldn’t believe she would stoop that low for a dance, but I responded, “No, go for it!”
“Aight, girl. Hold my purse for me.” I took her purse, and she made her way to the dance floor, after having a hell of a time even getting up off the bar stool with that damn hoochie dress on.
I was sitting there all by myself when the one I had my eye on came over and took Brina’s place on the stool beside me. “Hello, beautiful!”
His voice was deep, his eyes were mesmerizing, and he looked ten times finer up close than he did from the other side of the room. “Hello.”
“How are you?”
“Fine, and you?”
“Just great, beautiful.” The beautiful thing was turning my ass on big time. “Care for a refill on your drink?”
“Sure, thanks.” He waved the bartender over to order another round. I checked him out from head to toe. Everything from his black, silky hair to his freshly polished wing-tip shoes.
We got the drinks, and our conversation took off from there. He surprised me by having a civilized conversation as compared to the I-wanna-take-you-home-and-fuck-the-shit-out-of-you one. I didn’t have a lot of experience with hanging out at clubs. I married so young and started having babies, there were dozens of things my friends got to experience that I missed out on.
We danced for a long time together. In fact, the club lights came up, letting us know it was almost closing time. I searched for Brina and finally located her over at a corner table, sitting on the pimpster’s lap. I peeped at my watch, and it was almost three in the morning. I just knew Jason was going to have a freakin’ fit. When he told me to go out, he didn’t expect me to be out so late. I was positive the all-your-friends-are-sluts speech was on my agenda before I could fall asleep.
“Well, it was nice meeting you, ummm . . .” We had talked all that time but neglected to exchange names.
“Tyson. The name’s Tyson.”
I shook his hand. “Nice to meet you, Tyson. I’m Zoe.”
“Zoe, that’s a beautiful name for a beautiful woman.”
I blushed as the DJ cut the music and people started to flood out the club doors on their way home to bed, with or without a partner, or headed to an all-night diner for some food to cure their munchies.
I started walking over toward Brina to tell her it was time to go. I had both our purses flung over my arm, having never tracked Brina down on the crowded dance floor to give hers back. Tyson followed me, but I was hoping he wouldn’t. I didn’t want to be put in the position of having the dreaded let’s-exchange-numbers conversation.
“Zoe, slow down, beautiful.”
“Sorry. It’s just that I really need to get home. It’s late, and my husband will be worried.”
“Husband? Damn!”
“Yes, see my ring?” I held my hand up so he could get a good look. “I thought you knew.”
“No, I don’t know anything unless you tell me. I really wish you had said something though.”
“Why is that?” I got defensive. “So you wouldn’t have wasted all night talking to me when you could’ve picked up another woman and taken her home with you instead?”
“Naw, see now you’re trippin’. Nothing like that, beautiful. I just got myself all worked up this evening, hoping we could get to know each other better.”
“Well, we can’t.” I don’t know what it was, but all of a sudden I became irate. “It was nice meeting you. I have to go.”
I rushed over to Brina. “Brina, it’s getting late, Sis, and the club’s closing. You want to walk out together, or should I go on ahead?”
She was obviously all into the knucklehead. “Zoe, you go ahead, girl. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Okay, bye.” I didn’t have time for the bullshit. I got about ten feet when I realized I still had her purse, so I went back and gave it to her. When I turned around again, Tyson was nowhere in sight. I was relieved. His ass had turned me on tooooooo much. I was afraid he might fuck around and turn my ass out.
I got outside into the cool, crisp air and started heading-toward my car when I heard some faint footsteps behind me. “Zoe, hold up, beautiful!”
I thought to myself, Oh, shit!
He increased his pace until he caught up to me, which wasn’t hard, considering his legs were so much longer than mine. “Yes, what is it?”
“I just wanted to give you my number in case you want to talk sometime.” He handed me a matchbook from the Zoo with his phone number written down inside of it.
“Okay, whatever, but I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you.”
“Why are you being so mean, beautiful?”
“No reason
. Sorry I was rude. It’s just real late, and I’m dog-tired.”
“I understand. I’ll let you go. You take care, and I hope to hear from you. The ball’s in your court.”
When he walked away, I was enthralled with his ass. I began to wonder why single men go after married women but didn’t ponder over it too long. I tossed the matchbook into a wire trash can on the sidewalk and continued on to my car.
I got in the car and sat there for a few moments, sucking on a breath mint and trying to get my bearings together. I wasn’t drunk, but I wasn’t exactly sober either. I thought about how great the conversation between Tyson and I had gone before I decided to get bitchy. Then I thought about what Brina said about always having one riding the bench as a backup.
I pulled out the parking garage, stopped by the trash can, and put my hazards on just long enough for me to jump out and dig the matchbook out with the number on it. I drove home listening to jazz and endured the infamous all-your-friends-are-sluts speech from Jason before falling fast asleep.
chapter
seventeen
For a while, things went on as usual. I kept creeping around with Quinton and hoping that Jason would open up to me in some form or fashion. Mostly, I was praying like all hell I didn’t get cold busted.
Quinton pleaded with me dozens of times to leave Jason, but to no avail. I made it perfectly clear to him that leaving my husband was simply not an option. I admit I painted a pretty glum picture of my marriage to Quinton, but through all of our problems, I never stopped loving Jason for one second.
The little voice inside me kept telling me it would all backfire on me eventually. After all, nothing good lasts forever, and whatever you do always comes back to haunt you. I just couldn’t pinpoint when, where, and how the other shoe would drop. It didn’t take too long to find out.
It was a Friday night, and typically, I never visited Quinton on Fridays and Saturdays. I reserved that time for Jason and the kids. We would go out to dinner or to a movie and then cuddle up as a family and read books or play board games.
