by Jessica Kile
“Actually, Tracie and I were planning on going to the mall.” She ignored the look that her co-worker gave her.
Drew leaned over the counter and kissed her forehead. “Have a good time.” Then he was gone.
Later that evening Tracie held up a piece of lingerie that barely covered anything. “You need to buy this.”
Lana rolled her eyes. “I have no need for that.”
“Are you insane, girl?;” Tracie asked, walking away with the outfit. “You have every reason to own this. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m not letting you out of here until you buy it.”
“I don’t have the money to waste on something like that,” Lana tried to reason with her friend.
“It’s on sale.”
It was easier to just give in when it came to Tracie. Lana knew this. Besides it was better to allow her friend to believe she was capable of having a normal sex life. No way in hell was she going to let Tracie know her darkest secret.
“How awesome are these?” Tracie was holding up a pair of handcuffs.
A flash of Shawn holding her hands above her head not allowing her to move ran through her mind. A hand squeezed her heart and concrete landed on her lungs. It took all she had to remind herself that she was not in danger now. She was with Tracie and not back in that basement.
“That’s where I draw the line.”
Tracie sighed. “No fun.”
Lana needed to get her friend out of this store. “Can we just go get something to eat? Then I want to go get some new workout clothes.”
They paid for their purchases. Tracie had a few more items than Lana.
The food court was busy tonight. Lana was tempted to forgo food until she got home. If she did that, Tracie would ask questions. So, she put her big girl panties on and made her way through the crowd to order her tacos. OK, maybe Drew was rubbing off on her a little bit.
As they made their way to an empty table, Lana could have sworn she saw Shawn walking around the corner to the men’s restroom.
Don’t be stupid. He’s in Charleston. You’re in Morgantown. You’re safe.
Needing to feel safe Lana sent a quick text to Drew.
Time for ice cream tonight?
The reply was almost immediate.
I have all the time in the world for you.
Lana tried to hide instant grin at his words.
I’ll pick some up on my way home.
“See, I told you,” Tracie announced around a bite of her Thai chicken. “You have it bad.”
“I do not,” Lana argued. “We’re friends. Friends can eat ice cream together.”
“Sure they can,” her friend agreed. “I just happen to know you've not gone a day without seeing him since you met him.”
“He lives down the hall from me,” Lana pointed out.
“Piss poor excuse is better than none.”
Giving into childish behavior Lana stuck her tongue out in response and then rolled her napkin in a ball and threw it at her. “Just mind your own business, for once.”
Tracie held her hands up in surrender laughing. “OK, OK. So why did you suddenly decide to come here with me tonight instead of going to the gym?”
Because suddenly I don’t enjoy my workouts if Drew isn't with me, would just give Tracie more ammunition to use against her Lana lied. “I decided that I needed a girl’s night after all.”
Let Tracie find a way to argue with that.
Tracie abandoned her half-empty plate, sat back, and rubbed her non-existent stomach. “We so needed a girl’s night. However, the next time I decide to eat this much, please just shoot me.”
Lana took one last drink of her soft drink. “Only if you promise to do the same for me.”
Tracie extended her hand out to shake hands with Lana. “It’s a deal, sister.”
Lana stood up and gathered her bags and her tray. “I need to grab my workout clothes and we need to get out of here.”
“I know, you have a hot ice cream date with Mr. Hottie,” Tracie stated with a grin as she followed her to the trash can.
“Not a date,” Lana corrected her.
“Yeah, keep saying that.” Tracie laughed, as they headed to the sporting goods store.
************************************
Drew was stretched out on the couch watching an Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt movie. More like pretending to watch it so Chris wouldn't give him shit for just sitting around and waiting for Lana to show up.
It sucked being stuck at home working on a paper instead of being with her.
He had been putting his paper on the back burner for the past couple of weeks while he had been running to the gym. At any point he could have chosen to stay home, but he had noticed a change in her. Even Chris had mentioned the fact that she didn't seem to be as spooked.
However once he typed the last word of his paper, Lana took complete control of his brain. Several times he had picked up his phone to text her and put it back down. The last thing he needed was to come across as a clingy guy.
To say that he was relieved when she texted wanting to bring ice cream over once she got home, was an understatement.
They had yet to define their relationship. He feared that if he tried to put a label on it she might decide to run. Taking things slow with her would probably be the death of him. Or, be torture to a certain part of his body that stood at attention whenever she was around. If the girl knew how she affected him she would keep her distance. And that was the very last thing on earth he wanted her to do.
It was around ten o’clock when Lana knocked softly on the apartment door. It took all he had in him to not groan when he opened his door.
Was the girl trying to kill him? Seeing her standing there in a pink tank top that was just tight enough to show off her very womanly curves with the matching shorts had his male parts on full alert.
Lana squeezed past his body which had forgotten to move out of her way. His eyes were drawn to her ass as he watched her walk to the kitchen.
For the first time since she sent her text, he was thankful Chris was home.
If they had been fully alone in the apartment he couldn't guarantee all of his good intentions wouldn't go out the window. It would be too tempting to pull her close and show her exactly how much he desired her. Make her forget every touch of the douche bag.
“Where’s your bowls?” she asked, poking her head around the door way.
“The ones in the dishwasher are clean.” Drew joined her in the kitchen being sure to keep his distance.
“I hope cookie dough is okay.” She was already in the process of filling three bowls.
Including Chris in their ice cream binge had not been part of his plan. These moments were the closest to dates he had been able to get with her, not that he was complaining. He would go to a paleontology seminar if it meant he could spend time with her.
“I love cookie dough.” Technically he tolerated cookie dough ice cream; however, he wasn't about to tell her that. He would eat cricket ice cream if she bought it for him. Yeah, he had it that bad for this girl.
“Grab the DVD out of my bag,” she demanded, as she managed to carry three bowls to the living room.
Drew laughed when he pulled the movie out of her Victoria Secrets shoulder bag. Something told him that Chris wouldn't be a problem after all. She had brought a chick flick.
Watching a movie based on a Nicholas Sparks novel would never be his first choice. Of course, he could totally get into a movie about a bull rider and art lover if it meant he could hold her in his arms. Yeah, he could definitely learn to like that guy.
Lana had settled herself on the couch with the WVU throw he had started keeping on the back of the couch just for her.
Drew had to force himself to breath as he watched her lick the ice cream off of her spoon.
Damn.
She was so innocent; she had no idea what images she had running through his head.
Needing a distraction he turned and put the DVD in the player. He gave Chris ten minutes once he realized what they were watching to find an excuse to leave.
Alone time with his girl would make this chick flick well worth it.
It ended up taking twenty minutes for Chris to remember he had three chapters he needed to read for his class on Monday.
Lana nodded her head and snuggled closer into Drew’s side. Their bowls had long been forgotten on the coffee table.
“I love how he wrote letters to his wife though out their marriage,” she sighed. “It’s so romantic. Men just aren’t like that anymore.”
“Did I miss something?” Where did he miss that the old dude had written a lifetime of letters to his wife?
“Sorry.” She looked ashamed. “We’re not there yet. I read the book. Guess I kind of jumped the gun with that comment.”
Well, at least he knew he was not a complete dumb ass.
Thanks to this Nicholas Sparks guy he was going to have to step up his game in the romance department. Was the guy even straight?
Lana sighed. “I’m sorry. Tonight was kind of selfish of me. I picked out the ice cream and movie without asking you what you wanted. I’m not good with this stuff.”
“Hey,” he whispered, using her chin to turn her head forcing her to look at him. “Do you really think I care what flavor of ice cream you got? Or what movie we’re watching?” Her eyes were wide and drew his head down until a dime would barely fit between their mouths. “I just want you with me.”
Her lips were warm and soft beneath his. He felt more than heard her soft sigh as he deepened the kiss. Sliding his hand to the back of her head into her hair he held her close as their tongues did their dance. His left hand slid up the back of her tank top of its' own accord.
Drew’s lips grazed her cheek as she turned her head away from him. Her body stiffened and her hands began pushing at his chest. Going beneath the clothes had been a mistake.
His brain would've known that if it hadn't completely shut down.
Not wanting her to get the wrong idea he slowly removed his hand and trailed kisses along her temple. He sent thanks up to the heavens when he felt the tension leave her body.
It took every ounce of willpower he possessed to pull away and put distance between them.
“I should probably get going.” Her voice sounded shaky and those brown eyes were slightly glazed over. She had been as affected by that kiss as he had been; she was just scared. “Ricky will have a fit if I don’t come home tonight.”
Drew really had no concern about Ricky’s feelings. The knowledge of how far she could push his self-control was the only reason he willingly walked her to the front door of her apartment.
******************************************
Chapter 7
The next night Lana had her Criminal Terminology book and tablet scattered across the coffee table in her apartment. Metallica was blasting from her stereo. Instead of wills and beneficiaries all she could think about was Drew’s band playing this same song for her at that stupid party.
She was hopeless...Wanting what was being offered to her, even though, she knew she could never truly give Drew what he wanted.
Spending time with him the last few weeks had been amazing.
At one point last night she had actually been able to pretend that she was still a normal girl. She had even enjoyed that amazing kiss. Then she had felt his hand on her bare skin and Shawn’s face had appeared in front of her. The rational part of her brain knew that it was Drew. That was the only thing that kept her from fully losing her shit.
Taking their relationship to the next level would be impossible until she got over what Shawn had done. Not that she was considering the fact that they could be in a relationship. They were friends. Friends who occasionally stuck their tongues in each others' mouths. It was all just hopeless.
Her phone buzzed with an incoming text message.
Speak of the devil himself.
What are you doing?
Thinking about you again. Yeah, she could not admit to that one. Instead she typed: Doing my definitions for tomorrow.”
The response was almost instant. Did he have his phone constantly in his hand?
Me too. Come over.
Going over there would be a mistake. Wouldn’t it?
He was making it perfectly clear what he wanted from her. If she kept encouraging him she would end up hurt once he decided he was tired of playing with the damaged girl. They both knew that was the only way this could possibly end.
Yet, she found herself replying with: Okay.
She really was hopeless.
It was around 9 PM when Lana knocked on Drew’s door. His laptop and text book were scattered on the table along with a bowl of chips in a green bowl.
Yeah, she was focusing on those details because he had come to the door wearing only a pair of sleep pants.
The dragon tattoo on his back was not sexy at all. Nope, not at all. Maybe if she kept telling herself that she would not be tempted to trace the tat with her tongue.
Lana gave herself a mental shake. How could she want something like that when getting naked with him was a big no- no?
“Do you want the top or bottom,” Drew asked, sitting down on the couch.
Lana felt her face heat up at having been caught in her thoughts. “Uh…”
“The definitions,” he clarified. “Do you want the first fifty or the second set of fifty? What did you think I meant?”
“Uh…”
Drew gave a knowing grin. “Get your mind out of the gutter. I’m a good boy. That never crossed my mind.”
Lana wanted to groan. She sounded like a complete idiot. “The bottom.”
He laughed as he grabbed his laptop and textbook. “I guess I’ll take the top this time.”
“Shut up.” Could she embarrass herself more?
“You’re cute when you’re all flustered,” he informed her.
“I already have twenty of my set done,” Lana said, changing the subject.
Drew’s fingers were flying over his keyboard as he looked at his text book. “I ordered a pizza right after you said you were coming over. It should be getting here soon.”
Lana’s eyes got stuck on Drew’s bare chest and abs. From her vantage point on the floor across from him she had a fantastic view. Her teeth dug into her bottom lip as she thought about what it would be like to touch those abs. But how could she even think about touching him when she froze whenever he tried touching her skin?
Hopeless. Hopeless.
The man needed to put on a shirt. Maybe then she would be able to concentrate on the words in her book. She needed to be worried about the wills and estates chapter that they would be covering in class tomorrow. Not wondering how his skin would taste on the tip of her tongue.
“Stop that,” Drew demanded, staring at her mouth as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. “It’s too distracting.”
“Sorry,” she whispered. Her tongue darted out across her lip.
Drew groaned. “Now you’re just being cruel.”
Lana found it hard to pull her eyes from those abs. There should be a law against being that damn hot.
Suddenly those abs were standing and moving around the coffee table to stand right beside her.
Drew pulled her to a standing position and brought her arms up to wrap around his neck. His hands found their place on her hips pulling her against him. “I won’t be able to do anything. Not before I do this…”
Her breath caught in her chest as he lowered his lips to hers. His lips were warm, moist, and coaxing.
There are times a body can take matters into its’ own hands without having the brain’s permission. This was one of those times. Her hands made a fist in his hair holding him to her, as he ravaged her mouth. A moan slipped past her lips when she felt just how much she affected him.
Hands on her ass lifted her until she was
forced to wrap her legs around his waist. Even as her brain said they were crossing a line, her body responded to his rocking against the evidence of his arousal.
Then she was beneath him on the couch. His lips trailing a fiery path down her neck to the valley between her breasts hidden behind a small sleep tank then lower. Her head fell back. Hips lifted refusing to lose contact with him.
Lana sighed as she felt his tongue trace her belly button. Completely lost in the moment her eyes drifted shut.
Suddenly it was Shawn sliding her sleep pants down. It was Shawn teasing her most intimate places with his breath.
“No,” she whimpered, shoving his head away.
Tear filled eyes watched Drew pull her pants back up. He sat back against the couch, his breath coming out fast and unsteady.
Embarrassed, Lana closed her eyes her heart pounding in her chest. Parts of her body were screaming their protest of unfulfilled desire. It was then she realized just how messed up her head really was.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
Drew raked his hand through his hair. “No, I’m the one who’s sorry.” His other hand trailed up her leg to her knee. “I never meant to take things that far.”
Lana sat up as she tugged her tank back down to cover her stomach. “It’s not you. I thought I could..”
She grabbed her books from the coffee table and tried to dart for the door.
He somehow made it around her and was blocking her path. “Don’t leave. I’m sorry I took things too far.”
She didn't fight when he took her hand, tugging her closer to him. “This is impossible.”
Drew shook his head. “Nothing is impossible.”
Lana backed away from him, pulling her hand free. “I’m damaged.”
“Aw, Honey.” He tried to reach for her hand again, but she held her books tight against her chest.
“Don’t you get it?” she cried, closing her eyes against the pity in his. “Every time I close my eyes he’s there.”
His arms wrapped her in a hug. “I’m not letting you push me away.”
Her gaze was focused on a stray black hair around his collarbone. “I can’t even have sex.”
