by Lilly Pink
“The bond works both ways. He’s just as stuck with you as you are with him. And if you have to be eternally committed to somebody, Kian is certainly nothing to complain about.
That seems to be the case. Ameretat says you are with child. I suppose there will always be some that question the truth of your bond with Kian. But for many of us, it is more than just the idea of the first birth in a century. You know I sometimes predict the future?”
“But you said it’s all very mutable. There are too many possibilities to make accurate predictions,” Zoe said, remembering their first discussion of the subject.
“Indeed. But there are a few things that are always certain. When you see the lightning, you know there will be thunder. Not when nor where, but the rumble always follows the flash. The future is like that sometimes. My mother’s mother was a very great Seer. She could read the flow of time like a book, always knowing where the drop of a single pebble would alter the course the way she wanted.
Before she died, she made her most famous prophecy. I was still a child but I remember it well. ‘When the king finds his mate, the world will be restored.’ You see that it is a clever oracle, nice and vague. She didn’t say which king, or in what manner the restoration will come, only that it will.” Darya smiled at the memory of her wise grandmother.
“People think it’s me, the mate of the king,” Zoe said, feeling like she would have to re-examine every interaction she’d had since arriving in the light of this new revelation.
“It is certainly something the people talk about over their evening meals. Most of us find hope and a chance for a happy future in this talk, but as you might imagine, there are a few who are uncomfortable with the idea of change. Kian hears this, and he fears for you.
For all his years, he has no more experience in love than you do, and no happy couples to guide him, but he does love you. So much, I think he fears to overwhelm you with it. I believe that he was concerned that you would feel obligated to him, if you knew the truth, and thought that holding back would leave you free to come to a decision on your own.”
“I wish he had told me before. It would have helped me understand, at least a little. Although, everything here still feels so… unreal, sometimes.”
“Even now? Do you commonly have dreams about fighting with your lover and hiding in a garden for hours?” Darya inquired. It was hard to know whether she was being sarcastic or not, but Zoe supposed she had a point either way.
“Well, no,” she admitted. “I should go talk to Kian. At least, I should apologize for storming off.”
Darya nodded. “I know you have been asked to accept many changes in a short period of time, and all the things you knew as true have been called into question. But I believe if you were to try to listen with your heart, instead of with your head, you will find a place for yourself here, aside from being Kian’s mate. If you doubt yourself less, certainly you will find your magic comes more easily.”
“Thanks, Darya,” Zoe replied with a heavy sigh. The Seer stood and began to walk away, turning back as she saw Zoe wasn’t following. “I’ll come in, I promise. I just need a minute.” Darya nodded and left the garden, leaving Zoe alone as the stars started to come out.
***
This was her life now, it seemed. Bound by love to the ruler of a place she could never have imagined existed. Believing in it made her life harder, and she was ashamed to admit, even only to herself, that it had been partly fear of trying that had kept her from accepting it. If it was real, it meant failure had real consequences, and that if she wanted to be accepted by Kian’s people, she would have to work at it. Since she doubted they needed an artist at the moment, it would mean starting over. Finding a whole new place in the world, which stung a bit, considering how hard she’d worked on carving out the first one. But you won’t be alone this time.
“Zoe?” he said into the darkness, almost if she had summoned him just by thinking. She turned, eyes straining to find him in the gloom. Finally, she saw his silhouette moving around a row of nearby hedges.
“I’m here,” she said, her voice coming out even more hesitant and plaintive than she had intended.
He approached her slowly, like she was a wild animal he was afraid of startling. “Darya said she spoke to you. I should have told you sooner, about what it meant to be mated. I am sorry.”
Zoe patted the bench next to her and he sat down, still giving her plenty of space. She found herself wishing he would not; she wanted to be close, to throw herself into his arms, but she felt self-conscious about it now. It was probably unfair to him, to force him to accept that kind of intimacy right away.
“I’m sorry, too, Kian,” she said, looking him in the eyes before quickly turning away again, unable to take the intensity of his gaze. “I should have been taking things more seriously.” She felt tears start to prick at the corner of her eyes again, and she wasn’t sure why. Perhaps it was fear, that because of her unwillingness to accept this world at face-value, she and Kian would never again have quite the same easy trust and love they had once shared.
“No, Zoe. I said I would be patient, but I have not been. All I have done is thrust new experiences and responsibilities on you without explanation, and expected you to accept them without complaint. A relationship is supposed to be about partnership, but I have called you to sacrifice everything you know while giving nothing of my own, asking your trust, while not even trusting you with the full truth of the matter.
I have never even asked what you wanted to do with your time, I just assumed you would fit into my life like a missing puzzle piece. If I had paid more attention, I would have realized how frustrated you were.” He touched her shoulder, just to get her to look at him. “Jãné del-am, please forgive me,” he said, daring to brush her cheek with his fingers.
She leaned in his touch, desperate for it. “I wasn’t ever really angry at you,” she said, gulping back her emotions. “I just couldn’t imagine how you could want me. Compared to everyone else here, I’m… boring and useless. I figured you’d get tired of me, eventually, and then where would that leave me?” Zoe was a bit annoyed to realize that she was crying again, and she started to dash the tears away with the back of her hand.
But Kian intercepted her, kissing her palm before drawing her into his embrace. Despite how much she had longed for his touch, it seemed to break the dam inside her, and suddenly she was sobbing into his chest while he stroked her hair soothingly. “You are neither boring nor useless, my heart,” he said quietly. “You are brilliant, brave, and immensely talented. It is not your fault that the palace has very little call for artists in these days. I have no doubt that you will prove to be equally gifted in something else, once you have decided upon it. But even if that was not true, I would still love you. For the rest of my life, you will be the only one I long for.”
“I suppose we’re stuck with each other,” she said with a strangled laugh, letting herself finally relax against him and feeling his heart beat against her palm, the same steady rhythm that had accompanied her sleep for so many nights, remembered and unremembered.
“That is one way to put it,” he said wryly. “I prefer to think of it as a gift. No matter what you believe, I could not imagine wanting anyone else. You are perfect just the way you are, Zoe, everything I never knew that I wanted.”
“I feel like contesting the point, but I don’t want to argue anymore, even in fun,” she replied with a sigh. “You are, quite literally, a dream come true, Kian. I love you so much, and I’m going to try harder to fit in here. If I’m going to be your partner, I’m going to have to do more than sit around.”
“I will support whatever it is you wish to do, my heart, and we should discuss it in more detail. But if you would permit me, I think I should escort you back to Ameretat, and then perhaps to a meal and to bed. You have had a long day.”
“Can’t we stay out here little bit longer? It’s quiet here, and I miss being with you, just like this.”
&nbs
p; “Of course,” he said, kissing her forehead before tucking her more securely against his chest and resting his chin on the top of her head. “I am sorry I have been rather preoccupied. I have been researching some things, but partly I thought I ought to give you some space, to acclimate. I didn’t want to presume anything. Though I have spent many nights by your side, I felt it might seem new and overwhelming to you.”
“I might not remember it here,” she said, pointing to her skull, “but that doesn’t mean I don’t know it in my heart. That was why it hurt so much, thinking you would leave me, because I knew I would never want anyone else,” she said, finally able to look up at him and smile.
“And I do not want a rainbow fairy princess,” he said, his eyes glowing with warmth. “Even if there were such a thing.” He kissed her then, a gentle press of the lips that was meant to be comforting. But once begun, it was hard to pull away. Zoe felt her head tilt and her lips part as Kian’s fingers snaked into her hair and his tongue caressed this curve of her lip before sliding inside her mouth.
She pulled herself closer to him until their bodies were flush, her hands slipping inside the loose collar of his silk robe, trailing feather-light touches along his spine and up the back of his neck. He shuddered and gathered her up, pulling her across his lap so that she was cradled in his arms and began to lavish her with kisses, her lips, her jaw, her throat. His teeth scraped gently against the sensitive skin, and she gasped as an electric thrill went all the way to her toes.
Meanwhile, she had already slid the thick outer robe from his shoulders so that it pooled around his waist like a living liquid and was now running her free hand under his light linen shirt and over the smooth skin of his chest.
Kian paused in his kissing to take a breath, and laughed as he realized she was already getting him out of his clothes. “I suppose going back to our room is now out of the question.”
“Not unless you want to stop what we’re doing. Either way we’re going to end up rumpled,” Zoe replied with a grin.
“I do not. Want to stop, that is,” he said roughly. “If I had my way I would never stop touching you. However, I don’t want to be discovered either.” He scanned the garden with sharp eyes, thoughtful for a moment, and then he stood, carrying her along with him. She could feel his posture straighten and his breathing slow. Then things began to move. Marble benches relocated themselves, the hedges assumed new arrangements and plants grew at astonishing speeds. Zoe couldn’t see all of this as it went on, because it was dark, but she could hear it, and then, with a final sharp exhalation of breath against her cheek, an ethereal glow suddenly bathed the garden in light.
“Much better,” Kian said with an air of deep satisfaction as Zoe took in all the changes with wide eyes. Now they were surrounded by a ring of tall hedges out of which huge and fragrant white flowers bloomed. They stood on a graceful wooden bridge that arched over a channel of clear water. Lily pads with luminescent flowers floated on its surface, making the water seem to glow from within.
They went across the bridge, Zoe still held in Kian’s arms, and arrived on a small island shadowed by the huge weeping willow that had always been in the garden. But now, the delicate fronds were dressed with tiny blue and green lights which twinkled as Kian pushed through the leaves to reveal their destination, a cozy alcove lit by a single blue lantern. He laid her down in a bed of soft springy grass among tiny star-shaped flowers that smelled of vanilla and sandalwood.
“It’s so beautiful, Kian,” she said in breathless wonder. “You did all this with magic?”
“Yes,” he said, smiling at her reaction. “It was not as difficult as you might think. Things have a memory, especially living things, and this garden must have often been used for trysting. The plants remembered growing this way before, and so it was easy to coax them to do so again.”
“Now, if you wanted to impress me, you should have said it was all your own idea.”
“I will keep that in mind for the future,” he said with a chuckle. “But I didn’t want it to be too exciting, or then you might forget that I was here at all.”
“Ha. Little chance of that.” She pulled him down to the ground beside her and leaned in for another kiss. He met her eagerly and now his hands wandered inside her robes, baring her shoulder as his fingers trailed over the back of her neck and then traced the delicate shell of her ear.
It made her shiver against him, somewhat hampering her efforts to undo the belt at his waist, but finally the last knot parted. She pushed the heavy silk away, intending to slide her hand up the back of his shirt, but then Kian rolled over, bringing her to sit astride his waist. Her robe fell off her other shoulder, and now he cupped her breasts through the thin fabric of her underdress.
“I don’t mind this at all,” she said, grinning wickedly as she rolled her hips against his in a slow circle. Kian’s eyes went wide, and his hands fell to her hips as his mouth opened in a soft gasp.
“I suppose you have the advantage of me,” he replied, his voice gone low and soft. His back was already arching toward her, subconsciously asking for more. Instead she began to slowly unbutton his shirt from the navel up, planting a wet and lingering kiss on each space of uncovered skin until finally their bare chests were pressed together and their mouths were just inches apart.
“You don’t seem to mind,” she breathed against his lips, flicking her tongue across them as punctuation. He lunged forward, grabbing her face in both hands and ravaging her mouth with his own. She ground her hips against and heard him moan into her mouth. Once again he rolled them over, but now he was on top, and he pulled open her robe, undoing the knots one handed and drew her shift over her head before she could protest.
“Now, you must allow me to lavish attention upon your body,” he said, his eyes sparkling with mischief, as he drew her hands above her head and held them with a hand. “I would not have it said that I do not return gifts in full measure.” He kissed down her body, paying special attention to every spot he knew would drive her wild, sucking on her earlobe and nipping at her neck. He circled each of her nipples with his tongue and then stopped as his face went between her legs. He breathed against her, delightfully warm through the thin fabric of her underwear, and she uttered a soft cry of pleasure, her hips lurching in a silent plea. His hands were still holding her, now down by her sides, and so he actually drew her underwear down with his teeth, just enough so that he could press a kiss to her damp curls.
Again he exhaled against her, the heat of his breath teasing every nerve. She whimpered with want and need, and finally his tongue slipped inside, tasting her, just brushing her sensitive nub. This time she moaned and her hips rocked into him as tongues of flame started to spread from her belly. Now he released her hands and held her hips while his mouth pressed back between her legs. Her fingers tangled in his hair and she gave little mewling cries as his tongue laved her clit deliberately, tracing circles around it, and then more complex patterns.
Then she felt his finger slip inside her, slowly, gently, and even she could tell that she was dripping wet. She hardly cared, taken up as she was in the sensations coming from her body. Every nerve was on fire, every muscle vibrated with blissful tension, and she writhed against him, moaning, until ecstasy unfolded within in her, spreading from her center outward in a pulse of heat and pleasure that seemed to temporarily suspend in her time.
As the bliss started to recede, Zoe opened her eyes to see Kian leaning back, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, his eyes aflame with need. She reached out for him with a lazy smile, and he flung the rest of his clothes aside and knelt between her legs, pushing into her as slowly as he could manage.
He was hard as steel inside her, and his muscles shuddered with every minute twitch of her body. She knew he wanted to make this last, but release was already a hair’s breadth away. Her legs wrapped around his hips, drawing him in as he deep as he could go, and he gasped her name. “I can’t… I need..”
“Come to me, my
love,” she said with a smile, and he bent down to kiss her, only to hiss with pleasure as she ran her nails over his scalp. He pulled away and thrust back into her with a groan, and she could already feel bliss sparking along her nerves again. It was halting at first, as he fought to keep control, refusing to surrender too quickly, but a rhythm began to take shape, and soon they were moving together as one being, give and take, catch and release.
All the while, ecstasy hovered just out of reach, coiling tighter and tighter, and then like a snapped guitar string, a sudden flood pleasure burst over them, cascading along every nerve. Kian was shuddering inside her, muffling his moans in the curve of her neck while she trembled with rapturous aftershocks, her fingers twisting in his hair. When he withdrew, it was only enough to lay his head on her chest, and she stroked his neck and back with dreamy contentment.
They laid that way for several minutes, and Zoe could feel herself slipping toward sleep. “We should probably get dressed and go upstairs,” she murmured with some effort. “The longer I lay here, the more I think that sleeping outside wouldn’t be so bad.”
Kian hummed vaguely in reply and then sighed out a deep breath, pushing himself back up onto his arms to gaze at her fondly. “You are correct, of course. People will come looking for us, eventually, and the air is only going to get colder. Besides, I am hungry, so I suspect you must be starving.”
Even so, they did not hurry, helping each other to dress with many whispered endearments and leaving the gardens hand-in-hand. Someone had already sent dinner up to them and so it wasn’t long before they had eaten and were right back in bed. Zoe fit herself into the curve of Kian’s body, his breath stirring her hair. She felt nothing but perfect contentment, love, and safety. No more holding back, she told herself as her eyes started to close. This is all that matters.
CHAPTER SIX
From that moment, things really did start to improve. Feeling secure about her place in Kian’s heart led to renewed self-confidence, which helped her as much in building relationships with the other Kumari as much as it did in her lessons. After a few weeks, Shahin pronounced that she was now proficient enough with a staff for purposes of self-defense that he had decided to concentrate primarily on improving her skills with the bow. Target shooting was fine, but it was nothing like real life conditions. He began to take her on short forays with the other scouts.
