by Zahra Owens
His head tucked under Haden’s chin, Quinn pulled Haden’s sweater down so he could kiss his collar bone, then his neck and his jaw. “I want to let you, but I don’t see how it can work out. We come from different worlds, Haden. You live in luxury, and I work twelve hours a day, seven days a week for a wage that doesn’t even allow me to rent my own apartment.”
“One day at a time, Quinn. We’ll see how it works out. One step at a time, one day at a time.”
Quinn had his misgivings, but he had to admit it felt good to lie here in Haden’s arms, languidly kissing. He wanted to feel Haden’s skin, wanted to take it further, but Haden didn’t seem to want that. Despite the fact they’d never really made love—if you didn’t count their rushed encounter in the showers—Quinn had to admit that taking it slow had its perks. A little voice in the back of his head told him to be wary, wondering why Haden kept holding off, but he pushed it away, enjoying for the first time in his life a lover who saw him as more than a piece of ass.
Quinn didn’t know how long they’d stayed there together, warm and cozy under the thick winter blankets. He might even have dozed off for a minute, but woke with a start when he heard Camille’s voice outside his door directing where the food needed to go.
“We better go help her,” Haden said, caressing Quinn’s hair.
“She’ll think we made love while she was gone,” Quinn replied as he raised himself up. He turned to sit on the side of the bed.
“Let’s keep it between us?” Haden asked.
Quinn nodded. Camille had eyes on the back of her head and since the door to Quinn’s room was right opposite the kitchen, she would no doubt see them emerge together. There was no doubt in Quinn’s mind that Camille would tease them about it no matter what they divulged to her. Quinn almost welcomed it. He just hoped Haden could take it.
To Quinn’s surprise, Camille simply sported her knowing smile. She waited until Haden was in the dining room, folding their green and red paper napkins, before she came up to Quinn in the kitchen.
“And was it everything you hoped for?”
Quinn tried not to smile too widely. He had promised Haden he wouldn’t say too much, but Camille was his closest friend and he trusted her beyond reproach. “Not much happened, Cammie. We didn’t even need to get dressed again.”
Her face turned sad. “It didn’t work out?”
Quinn smiled wider to reassure her. “We’re working things out. Taking it slow.”
“Slow is good, right?”
He nodded.
“At least if he has all the right bits.”
Quinn raised a questioning eyebrow. “You’re a perv, Camille.”
She raised her hands and shoulders and rolled her eyes, giggling. “Don’t you just want to nail him to the bed and fuck him into the mattress?”
“Camille!” Quinn called out, giving her a look of mock indignation. He couldn’t help laughing along with her, though.
“Well, I would,” she said, her arm around Quinn’s shoulders. “That tight frame of his, those fine shoulders and narrow hips. That tight little ass….”
“Those gorgeous dragon tattoos,” Quinn added.
“He’s got dragons on his skin?” Her eyes were wide. “Oooh, he’s hiding treasure. If you see a chance to persuade him to show them to me, I’d be eternally grateful.”
Quinn smiled enigmatically. He looked at Haden over the kitchen counter and felt butterflies in his stomach. Would it be enough for them? Could they overcome their vast differences to meet in the middle and make their relationship work?
One day at a time.
The voice inside his head was both Haden’s and his old sponsor’s. Tonight was Christmas Eve and Quinn resolved to enjoy tonight, whatever it would bring.
By the time they let their residents in that night, the lights of the Christmas tree were lit and the long dinner tables were decorated with paper tablecloths depicting Christmas scenery. Christmas dinner was a bit more elaborate than previous years as well, thanks to combined gifts from the Salvation Army and Haden’s corporations. Quinn was happy seeing all the content looks on the faces of his people and he was sure they went to bed with more than just full stomachs. He’d also enjoyed Haden seeking him out rather more than he usually did, stealing touches along the way. Of course Camille had spotted every one of them and was winking at him every time their eyes met.
* * *
After most of the residents had gone to bed and all the tables were cleared, Camille said her goodbyes and left Haden and Quinn in front of the Christmas tree.
“I noticed you didn’t sample the wine?” Quinn said quietly after Haden had come up behind him and put his arms around his waist.
“Nope. I prefer staying on the wagon. Besides, I want to remember tonight.”
Quinn let his head fall back. “You will.”
“This is the best Christmas I ever had.”
“It’s not over yet.” Quinn chuckled nervously. He wanted to turn around and kiss Haden, but he wasn’t entirely sure that Haden was ready and the last thing Quinn wanted was to break the spell.
“We need to get up early tomorrow. Put the presents out. Or we could put them under the tree now?”
“No, we can’t. Too many people wander around here at night. We can’t sleep in anyway.” Quinn paused for a moment, gathering the courage he needed to go on. “You are staying here tonight?”
“I think we’ve proven that we can share a bed.”
Quinn tried hard not to be disappointed. “I was hoping for a little more than brotherly sharing.”
“Me too.”
Quinn could hear the fear in Haden’s barely audible words. He couldn’t hold back and turned around this time. “What’s wrong?”
“I’ve never….” Haden sighed and closed his eyes. He was waving his hand to fill in the words he couldn’t speak out loud. “sober. Without having a drink, or two, or ten to ease the way.”
“But you want to now?”
Haden nodded determinedly, but without looking at Quinn. “I’m both very eager and immensely terrified.”
“Why?” Quinn asked and then realized it didn’t really matter. Whatever the cause, they were going to have to work through it together. “Would it help if I told you that I really want this too, but I won’t think any less of you if we don’t make it all the way to home plate by tomorrow morning?”
Haden smiled the way Quinn adored, as if he was mulling things over, but was happy about his thoughts.
“I have condoms and lube in my room just in case we do, though,” Quinn added. He leaned in to let his lips brush over Haden’s. Haden kissed him back, chastely at first, with the smallest stroke of tongue after a little while. “Now, will you take me to a room with a bit more privacy?”
Haden nodded and took Quinn’s hand to lead him to the room they were going to share. Once inside, Quinn set his alarm clock half an hour earlier than usual and walked to the small window to close the drapes.
“It’s snowing again.”
“Which reminds me,” Haden replied. “How’s your policy on opening Christmas presents on Christmas Eve?”
“I don’t care. Why?”
“Because I have a present for you as well.”
Quinn took a sharp breath in as Haden turned around and fished a large package wrapped in plain brown wrapping paper from under Quinn’s bed.
“Paper isn’t very festive, but it was a bit of a last minute thing.” Haden watched Quinn unwrap his present and shake out the neatly folded winter coat.
“I had it cleaned. It belonged to my father. He didn’t like all the fancy trimmings, so it’s a bit plain but it’s very warm. I know you wouldn’t be comfortable if I bought you a new one, but I thought you needed something warmer than your old coat so—”
Quinn cut off Haden’s rambling with a kiss. Then he moved back to put on the dark woolen coat and immediately felt how much warmer this was going to be compared to his threadbare one. He smiled when he spotted Haden’
s slightly apprehensive look. “It’s perfect, Haden. Thank you.” After taking the coat off he carefully folded it and placed it on the chair. “I just wish I had something to give you too.”
Haden smiled nervously as he stepped a little closer. “You’ve given me more than I could ever repay.”
This time when Haden put his hands on Quinn’s waist, he buried them underneath Quinn’s sweater and Quinn shivered at the intimate contact. He pulled Haden closer to mask the sensation. “You’re going to have to keep me warm now I’m out of that coat.”
“It’s already nice and toasty in this room,” Haden teased.
They kissed languidly, slowly letting the heat rise between them. Haden’s hands on him made Quinn’s skin tingle and he dragged himself away from Haden just long enough to pull his sweater and the T-shirt underneath over his head in one quick movement. “Want to see you too,” Quinn murmured against Haden’s mouth as soon as he’d lined up his body with Haden’s again. Haden obliged, then quickly kissed Quinn’s neck as if Quinn’s eyes burned on his skin.
“Let’s get under the covers,” Haden suggested.
Quinn felt like he was losing his virginity all over again, Haden’s words transporting him back to his first time with a boy his age. They were both underage, sharing a sleeping bag in one of the squats they lived in with the sole purpose of popping each other’s cherry. It was over in minutes. Quinn hoped they’d last a little longer this time. He had a real man under his hands now, albeit one with a few issues regarding intimacy that Quinn hoped they’d be able to overcome.
“Let me see those dragons up close,” Quinn demanded, turning on his bedside lamp to light up the room. Haden acted shy, but let Quinn admire his body art anyway. “They’re gorgeous. Are you planning to get more?”
Haden shook his head. “These are a few years old. I really wanted them then.”
“And you don’t anymore?”
Haden shrugged.
Quinn kissed Haden’s tattooed shoulder where a serpent’s tail was wrapped around an anchor. “They’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.”
Haden shook his head.
“Don’t do that.”
“Don’t do what?” Haden asked, looking puzzled.
“Put yourself down and deny my feelings toward you. You’re beautiful to me. It’s not an objective thing, beauty. It’s something you see with your eyes, but also something to see with your heart.” He put his hand over Haden’s heart. “I didn’t want to fall for you, especially not after I found out just how rich you were, but I did. Despite everything.”
“You have no idea how rich I am,” Haden added softly.
“No, and I don’t want to know either. I like you. Sober, humble, caring and giving. That’s all that matters. Now will you please make love to me because we’re in bed together for the second time today and I’ve been so turned on since this morning, I have no idea how we pulled tonight off without a hitch.”
Haden chuckled. “I’ve been turned on by you since this summer.” He lined up his body with Quinn’s, pushing his entire length against the younger man’s frame.
Quinn could feel Haden’s erection even through their winter trousers. “Are you ready to shed some more clothes?”
Haden nodded, reluctantly letting go of Quinn to unzip his pants. Quinn stopped him half way by swatting away his hand. “Let me do it. Please?” It resembled the fumbling of early youth, both of them a little insecure, hesitant, but without the urgency. Quinn pulled the zipper on Haden’s fancy woolen pants down lower and let his hands trace along the belt so he could push them down to cup Haden’s ass and pull him closer. After a fair bit of kneading, he pushed Haden’s boxers down along with them and helped to slide them down Haden’s long legs.
“Your turn,” Haden said with a smile on his face. Haden’s shyness disappeared as he teasingly took his time unbuttoning Quinn’s jeans, cupping the growing bulge underneath as he kissed Quinn’s mouth. After the last button was opened, Haden stuck his hand inside and made Quinn moan by taking Quinn’s engorged cock in his hand. Quinn wanted to get rid of the rest of his clothes, but Haden wouldn’t let him. Instead, Haden started kissing his way down Quinn’s torso, only to stop at his belly button.
“Ah, here is where you’re hiding your tattoos.”
Quinn laughed. “One of them at least.”
Haden licked the shining sun that looked more like a child’s drawing than an artist’s work, encircling Quinn’s belly button and making him laugh even more. Quinn’s laughter changed into another moan when Haden fished Quinn’s erection out of his jeans and sucked it into his mouth. Soon Quinn was rolling his hips trying to direct Haden’s movements and at the same time, trying to get out of his clothes. He didn’t succeed and was almost glad when Haden stopped his ministration to lie next to him again.
“Fuck, that felt so good,” Quinn said, by now panting.
Haden looked at him, his hand caressing Quinn’s nearly hairless chest.
“Will you fuck me?”
“No,” Haden said firmly.
“Oh,” Quinn replied, unable to hide his disappointment.
Haden covered Quinn’s body with his and kissed him passionately. “But I’ll make love to you.”
Quinn smiled into the kiss. “Now can I get out of my jeans?”
Haden nodded and Quinn turned around, pushing the tight pants down to expose his ass.
“Stop,” Haden said. There was urgency in his voice and Quinn stopped mid-movement, on his knees and elbows, while Haden moved around him. He gripped Quinn’s hips, spreading Quinn’s ass cheeks with his thumbs and diving in, his tongue circling Quinn’s hole.
“Fucking hell!” Quinn cried out. “Give a guy some… warning.” The last word came out more as a moan than an actual word, but the sentiment was clear. Haden had let his tongue run over the sensitive muscle of his entrance and Quinn was seeing stars. On the one hand, the jeans around his thighs were impeding his movements, but on the other hand Quinn was glad of the extra stability it gave him. He didn’t resist when Haden pulled them down even more, though. Their uncoordinated movements were a little awkward, but Quinn didn’t care. His skin was on fire, because Haden’s hands and fingers and tongue seemed to be everywhere at once. His knees were slipping and he pulled them up, first one, then the other. When he felt Haden’s tongue rim him again, his knees slipped apart and Quinn realized he was totally naked and utterly exposed. He managed to push his hand between his legs and wasn’t surprised to feel he was rock hard, his cock clinging to his belly.
“Fuck, want you inside me,” Quinn moaned. He pushed his cock back between his legs, presenting it to Haden, but when Haden didn’t take the bait Quinn let it spring back. “Need more, please,” he begged.
Haden let his hand caress the length of Quinn’s back, coming up along side of him. “You’re a demanding fella, but I like it,” he whispered in Quinn’s ear.
Quinn looked at Haden and saw him smile lovingly. He was at a loss for words, feeling he’d done enough begging for one evening already. Haden’s fingers were between his ass cheeks, teasingly rubbing his entrance and he pushed back against them, hoping Haden would stop teasing him. They kissed again, more for the intimate contact than out of passion, their breathing strained. When Haden moved away, Quinn reached out for him.
“Tease,” Quinn spat out, sounding harsher than he’d intended. When his hand grabbed only thin air, he let his head fall into his hands, hiding the sheer desperation in his face. When he opened his eyes, he saw Haden's head appear between his legs and he spread them farther until Haden could take him in his mouth. His movements beyond his own control, Quinn slowly thrust into Haden’s mouth, giving into the heated sensation. He was getting close to coming and was about to ask Haden to stop when he felt a finger breach him. Quinn couldn’t look at what Haden was doing to him anymore. The feeling of Haden opening him up while he was fucking Haden’s mouth was enough to make his balls pull up and before he could give his lover any warning he felt
his orgasm hit him like a speeding train.
Feeling infinitely guilty for ruining their first time, Quinn rolled over, away from Haden.
“Hey,” Haden said tenderly. “You okay?” He placed his hand on Quinn’s biceps and squeezed gently.
Quinn didn’t want to turn around and face Haden, but the tenderness and caring in Haden’s voice left him with no choice, so he rolled to his back.
“I’m sorry,” he said, not making eye contact with Haden.
Haden moved his hand to caress Quinn’s chest, letting his fingers dip on the far side of Quinn’s ribcage as he moved closer. “There’s nothing to apologize for. I’m flattered actually. It was pretty amazing to feel you come apart.”
Quinn shrugged. “I could have given you warning. I came like a teenager who’s never had an orgasm before.”
Haden laughed and then gave Quinn a compassionate look, which Quinn only registered because he looked at Haden from the corner of his eye. “We’re not done yet. At least I hope we’re not.”
Quinn smiled hesitantly before Haden leaned over him and kissed him gently.
“I’ll give you a little time to recuperate first and then…. Well, if I’d known sober sex would be this great, I would have done it years ago.”
Quinn chuckled. He didn’t know what to say, so he coaxed Haden to kiss him again. Haden was grinding against Quinn’s hip and Quinn inserted his hand between their bodies to touch Haden’s erection. As soon as he enveloped it with his hand, he remembered the feeling of the heavy cock in his hand from their rushed encounter in the shower.
Haden pulled away from him, clearly affected by Quinn’s ministrations. His breathing was growing heavy and the cock in Quinn’s hand even heavier, making Quinn suddenly glad he’d already had an orgasm and was pleasantly relaxed. He wanted to return the favor Haden had bestowed on him first, though, so he pushed Haden to his back and moved so he could lick the oversized column.
“No,” Haden said not too forcibly. “If you do that, I’ll come too, and then it will really be over.”
