by Amy McKinley
In the end, they’d both been used as pawns. If she’d learned the truth under different circumstances, she never would have allowed it. That was, if she could have gone against his family.
In her heart, she liked to think Alex would have saved them, kept them from the evil waiting in Colombia, possibly cut ties. She had to believe it.
God, she’d loved Alex—the version of the man she’d married, not the one tangled in his family’s web. She shivered with the realization that she was a widow. Life would be different, reinvented. That part, she longed for.
The sound of the door opening drew her from her thoughts, and she swiped the few tears from her cheeks that escaped. Liam walked in, holding a steaming mug of coffee and a bowl. His lips pulled up in a crooked grin. “I brought you breakfast. Coffee and some blueberries over yogurt, sort of our specialty around here.”
The bed dipped as he sat next to her. Shifting to a sitting position, she accepted the drink. He put the yogurt on the bedside table.
Guilt and pain flared bright. “Is… ” She couldn’t finish her thought. The image of blood and dead bodies littering the ground wasn’t a pleasant one. By the void in Liam’s expression, he understood.
“Yes. The FBI was called right away. They sent a cleanup crew.”
With a nod, she accepted that it was over, she hoped.
Twisting the bracelet that held the brooch around her wrist, she told Liam what gnawed inside her. “The last words he heard from me weren’t kind. I rejected him. And he…he told me he loved me.” She swayed, and he took the coffee from her hand.
Strong arms surrounded her, and she pressed her cheek against his chest. He held her until she calmed. Time moved slowly, and she stayed in his embrace, a temporary numbness seeping into her veins. This man had come to mean a great deal to her.
“Did you—were you able to find anything out?” she asked.
“Yes.”
When Liam’s deep voice rumbled, her fingers tightened their hold on him, and she listened, waiting for the remaining puzzle pieces of her time with Alex to click into place.
“There were a few men we interrogated before we found someone apprised of the details we were looking for. What Alex didn’t realize, or didn’t count on, was Juan Carlos would never have relinquished the power of his organization to him. It was always meant to go to Mateo.”
“It doesn’t even make sense that he’d want it. I know we talked about why he would have cleaned up drug trafficking in New York, but if he wanted to make way for the Ramirez cartel to gain a foothold, how would that benefit him if he wasn’t going to get something in return? I mean, if they would be in the States, wouldn’t it make sense for him to come back to his family then?”
Liam’s chin brushed the top of her head. “I think there was more to the story, to his plans. The only other thing we learned was about the rivalry between the brothers.”
Liv nibbled on her bottom lip and twisted the bracelet once more as she remembered Alex’s urgent plea. “He told me to open this.” Her nail tapped against the stone.
Lifting her wrist, Liam turned it to get a better view. “There’s a tiny hole by the clasp.”
“Can you open it?”
“Should be able to. Let’s go into my office. We can try the end of a paperclip.”
Intent on learning what Alex had meant in the last moments they’d had together, she followed Liam to his study.
Her wrist in his hand, he bent over her and inserted the piece of metal. With a pop, the bracelet opened, and she slid it off her wrist. Leaning over it, they both looked for an inscription. When none was found, Liam turned the bracelet to look along the edges of the brooch’s setting. His hands stilled as he brought the same paperclip end up to a small hole imbedded beneath one of the intricate swirls in the antique design. A soft pop sounded, and the stone released to reveal a tiny plastic object.
“What’s that?”
Liam’s gaze swung to hers. “A micro SD flash drive.”
Liv followed him behind his desk, watching as he woke up the sleeping screen on his laptop and inserted the flash drive. “There’re a few files, one with your name on it.” He moved aside so she could sit. Leaning a hip against his desk, he gave her space to find out what Alex had meant for her alone.
With shaky fingers, she clicked the file and opened it.
A letter addressed to her filled the screen, and her breath hitched.
Liv,
If you’re reading this, then something terrible has happened to me. I pray you’re safe and unharmed.
There’s so much I’ve wanted to tell you, to confide to you, but I didn’t want the ugliness of my world to touch the bright one you shared with me. Those days must be over now, at least for me.
You’ll have questions, and I want you to hear the answers from me. No matter what, know that I loved you. Our feelings were real, ours alone, and no one can tarnish them.
I’m going to share some things from my background to try to shed some light on why things may have unraveled the way they did. There was a plan in place even before I was born. That’s when it all started. It was between my mom and Juan Carlos. He decided my birth would be the key to get him inside the States to grow his organization. He wanted to expand his territory exponentially.
My mom agreed with him. Until we ran into my father and half brother. I was young, maybe about five years old, the day I met him for the first time, and she my brother. That’s when her rose-colored glasses developed a fracture and her obsession with power truly began.
I didn’t know. She kept her thoughts from me until I was ready to go to college in the States. My grandmother despised my father, and if she were alive, she would have agreed with the second half of my mom’s plan only.
Juan Carlos wanted me to infiltrate the NYPD, to wipe out his competition, and for me to remain on the force as his eyes and ears. My mom wanted me to find a wife with political connections and money. To do as much of my father’s requirements as possible, then get out of there and into politics, where I would no longer have a direct line to what he wanted. She planned to move by us, and to establish a stronger relationship with my father far away from his wife, possibly even be the only one for him, as he’d surely frequent his expanded enterprise. I have no idea why my mom had that delusion, but it was a driving force for her to surpass whatever his wife and first-born son had. To be the only one for him.
Then, and only then, did she think I’d be able to start a family, or our child would be my father’s leverage, his puppet. She cautioned if I had a child before then, my father would expect that I meet with him and discuss what role my son or daughter would play in the family business. One he never intended to pass on to anyone other than Mateo.
A child represented a tool to him, just as I’ve been. I didn’t want that.
What I didn’t count on was falling for you, babe. My infatuation for you began that very first night in the bar. I couldn’t take my eyes off you. When you agreed to be my wife, a whole new world opened up to me, one I knew I didn’t deserve. You brought light, happiness, and hope to my every day. I wish I were able to do the same for you.
You were my freedom, my true escape from a world I was born into, one I never expected to crawl my way out of, until our eyes met for the very first time.
Babe, the only part of my life that ever meant anything was when I was with you. I wish they weren’t watching us; wish I didn’t give into the malignant part of myself that was connected to them. It was too late for me; they’d learned the truth of your pregnancy. The only way I could try to keep you safe, us intact, was by going to them first. It was my last Hail Mary. If you’re reading this, it didn’t work.
I love you, Liv.
There were terrible things I had to do. If I hadn’t, their fate would have been much worse at the hands of my brother. I will always regret what I’ve done. Pressure from Mateo, from my father, was unbearable. They wanted to move faster than we had been. Their demands escalated.
It was them or you. I didn’t have much choice at the time. Mateo was closing in, and I feared he would hurt you. It was a contention, and I had no other option but to prove to them my loyalty. I tried to find a way to stash your parents somewhere, keep them safe, but I couldn’t. Mateo knew more than I’d thought and sent one of his spies to the restaurant where we celebrated our anniversary. I’m truly sorry I didn’t have the foresight to stop him.
My atonement to you, for what little it’s worth, is everything I’ve gathered over my lifetime on the Ramirez cartel. There’s more. I don’t want to strand you with this information and not help you deliver it into the right hands, as well as find a way to ensure your safety. Because they’ll come for you. I won’t be there to protect you, and I can’t have that.
When I purchased your favorite wine from Savage Seas, I did a little research. Liam Savage owns it, and I’ve learned all I need to about him now. I hope he can protect you, as I could not. I have to tell you, babe. It kills me to tell you this because I’ve failed you. The owner, Liam Savage, is someone I’d trust with your life. From everything I’ve learned and contacts I’ve spoken to, I’m confident in sending you to him. I’ve left his information in the right-hand drawer of my desk. Go to him, tell him everything, and share these documents on the cartel with him. He’ll understand what to do.
It’s breaking my heart while I’m writing this to know you’ll be at his home, at the orchard I planned to take you to. But I also wouldn’t have it any other way. It can’t be a coincidence that led me to finding out about him. I have to believe that.
I love you more than words, more than life. You were my chance at redemption, my heart, my everything.
Your husband,
Alex
* * *
Choked up and with tears streaming down her face, she ushered Liam over. Part of her wanted to laugh at how there were no coincidences. Through her crazy escape, she’d found her way to Liam. She hadn’t needed to open Alex’s desk to find Liam’s address; fate had taken care of that for her.
Wiping the last of her tears from her face, she gave Liam a small, reassuring smile. She’d gotten what she needed—closure. He could do whatever he wanted with the files.
Skirting around the desk, she noticed Liam take her place behind the laptop, a concerned look crossing his features as she walked out the door. She had to go. The rest of the information didn’t matter to her. The letter had given her what she’d needed.
Quietly, she slipped through the house until she reached the front door. The sun traveled higher in the sky since she and Liam had talked. It was closer to noon now. A light breeze rustled the leaves on the trees by the wraparound porch as she sat on a wooden swing.
She drew up her knees, loosely wrapped her arms around them, and pressed her back against the wood. To some degree, Alex’s explanation made sense. She would never understand parts of what he’d written about, but the tragic revelation was that Alex had been used for what he could bring his family, just on a different level than she’d been for her parents.
Soon, she would have to figure out what to do with her life. Going home to live was out of the question. It was time for a fresh start, one where the decisions were hers alone.
For the first time, perhaps in her entire life, she took a full breath, devoid of responsibility to others. This time, she would start over again and do what she wanted.
Epilogue
Six months later
Wind whipped Liv’s long hair into a tangled mess as she stood near the edge of the bluff. Undulating waves hurtled toward the coast. A storm was coming. Angry clouds rolled overhead in the darkening sky. Liam had finished his swim in the heavy undertow an hour ago. It wasn’t until he’d set foot on land again that she’d drawn a full breath.
With a last look over the craggy shoreline, she turned and headed toward her studio and the breathtaking views the floor-to-ceiling windows provided of the tremulous ocean on one side and the wealth of greenery on the other. The inspirational scenery and serenity the area offered had made her decision to stay tempting. Liam had cinched the deal.
When land adjacent to Liam’s had gone up for sale, Liv snatched it up. A small house was located on the vast property, and she’d enjoyed putting her own touches on it. Living close by, Liam would come over, see how she was doing, and lend a hand with the minor remodel. They’d fallen into a pleasant routine with long walks and occasional evenings of dinner and wine out on his patio. Until he’d flipped her world on its axis again with a toe-curling kiss.
A little over six months had passed since Alex and Mateo died near the opening to the forest in Liam’s backyard. In that time, she’d found her footing once more. The few attacks after Alex’s death helped her process her grief faster than she’d ever thought possible. The CIA had offered all and any support they needed to continue to deter Juan Carlos’s vengeance. She was safe. Thanks to Liam, his team, and the CIA.
The CIA was ecstatic, as Liam had copied the files from Alex, detailing the Ramirez cartel operations and key players, and handed it over to their contact, Rich Stevens.
Liv had let it go, officially closing the door on that part of her life. She kept the good memories she’d shared with Alex, but the rest were not worth her time. Instead, she’d learned from them, determined not to let history repeat.
The blinders she’d worn when dealing with unpleasant reality had been discarded, and she faced the world as an active participant, an informed one.
Hand on the doorknob to her studio, she gave the knob a turn and push. Arms wrapped around her and pulled her back against a solid chest. Her lips twitched as she fought a smile, knowing exactly who held her. Liam.
“Mail came for you,” he said. “Think it’s from the gallery owner from Nantucket.”
“Oh, good. That’ll be the contract we discussed.” So far, shipping to her other galleries had proved to be a simple matter, one she planned to continue. She could always catch a flight if the gallery owners requested her presence, if she was available.
Liv tilted her head back to look up at Liam. A dusty shadow of hair covered his square jaw, amplifying his sexiness. She threaded her fingers through his, across her abdomen. “Is that the only reason you’re here?”
He dropped a kiss on her forehead before the slow, seductive grin she loved spread across his face, making her heart flutter. “Guilty. Just can’t stay away.”
Turning in his arms, she looped hers around his neck and rose on her toes to brush a kiss along his scratchy jawline. “You were gone this morning when I woke up.” Her gaze locked on his lips.
It had been two months since they’d started living under the same roof. After the cartel incidents, he had made a deal with her. At the time, she had refused to live in the same house together. She needed to stand on her own two feet. Liam had seen things differently. Her safety was a priority. Even so, she’d stayed firm in her convictions. They’d compromised. If danger headed their way again, and he’d assured her it would, she would move in with him. Temporarily.
That had happened a few times. Even so, she had enough space while she was in her own home to process, to heal, to move on. It’s what she’d needed and he respected that, when things were quiet.
Maine was beautiful. She had wanted to stay, and so she’d purchased her own place. Since she’d bought a house right next to Liam’s property, he’d been marginally appeased. Honestly, she liked being near him.
The choice had been an easy one. There wasn’t anything back in New York for her. The circle of people she’d grown up around didn’t interest her in the slightest, nor did the paparazzi that would regularly snap pictures when she left the apartment or house. Liam had offered her time to figure out what she wanted next, and she’d taken it.
One thing she did compromise on over time was his offer to build her a studio. She just hadn’t realized it would be on his property. Secretly, she was glad.
Liam attempted to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear that, with the tug
of the wind, defied his efforts. They stood half in and half out of her studio entrance. He’d had it built in less than a month and a half. Rather than taking full charge, he’d asked her to do the design. It had given her a much-needed project and grounded her decision to stay in Maine even more. The area was beautiful and constantly fed her creativity. And…there was Liam.
Their friendship had developed into more. It hadn’t taken too long for him to kiss her and elicit a chemical explosion within her. Dropping her arms, she stayed close, but with the thoughts swirling in her head, she needed a little space. Absently, her finger rubbed over the fading indent where her wedding rings had sat.
“Thinking about the past?” Liam raised her hand to nip along her finger.
“Only a little. It led me to you.” Desire flared in the depths of his eyes. He’d hinted at putting a ring on her finger again. She wanted nothing more than to share her life with him. That was what it would be—a shared life, not one with secrets between each other. He was giving her time. She didn’t need it. She hoped he would ask soon.
Hungry lips parted hers, and his tongue swooped in, taking immediate possession. The wind picked up, and a thump thump thump beat inside her head. With excruciating slowness, Liam broke their kiss, and the noise she thought had been her blood pounding made itself known. A helicopter circled overhead.
Hands flat against Liam’s chest, she pushed back so she could get a better view of the bird that flew above them. Long blades sliced through the air as the helicopter lowered to the landing pad in the distance. She smiled.
Liam’s thumb brushed across her bottom lip. “What’s got you smiling, love?”
She shrugged. “Just happy you came for me.” With a head tilt, she indicated the area where the helicopter had landed.
