by Trina M. Lee
“I don’t understand.”
Suddenly, a boom of thunder shook the night. It was deafening, forcing a shriek from Christina. She threw herself into my arms, holding tight. Enclosing her in my embrace, I sighed. The source of the thunder was not nature’s grand display of power. It was metaphysical, the product of two powerful beings uniting despite the odds set against them. Alexa had joined with her other half.
I’d known this union was coming, and I was to be prepared for it. Alexa shared her purpose with another, and I was to ensure they saw that purpose through to the end, no matter what it cost me. The force of their union rocked through me, a sensation that many powerful beings would feel. Alexa was now in greater danger, and here I was, once again, shirking my responsibility to her in order to dally with a human.
“Where the hell did that come from?” Christina buried her face against my chest.
The thunder echoed and gradually faded away. Then, it was calm and peaceful once again. I inhaled the strawberry scent of Christina’s hair, hating myself for loving it so.
“Just a little thunder,” I said, daring to run a hand over her pinned tresses. “Come on, we should hurry. There may be a storm coming.”
A storm was coming, alright, but a storm of blood and mayhem rather than wind and rain. Feeling chagrined, I put an arm gently around Christina and guided her along.
We didn’t make it twenty feet before a figure stepped out onto the path before us. Though he was cast in shadow, his face hidden, I knew him immediately.
Christina gasped and jerked to a halt. The demon didn’t startle me. His power paled greatly in comparison to mine. What worried me was his timing.
“Am I interrupting?” Shya sauntered toward us with a smooth, sly gait. “Isn’t there somewhere else that you should be, Willow?”
“Do you know this guy?” Christina questioned, looking back and forth between Shya and me.
“Yes.” I didn’t take my gaze off the offending demon. His appearance never brought glad tidings. To Shya, I said, “You have no purpose here. Go now and save us both the routine. We have nothing to say to one another.”
Shya smirked, his red eyes shining bright with wicked amusement. Those eyes betrayed his Asian human male appearance as the farce it was.
“At this very moment, your charge is gaining a lot of power and, with it, many enemies. Doesn’t it concern you? Or, do you have more pressing matters than the life you must protect?” He nodded toward Christina, and his smile grew. “Are you breaking the rules? And, with a whore of all things?”
His insolent laughter echoed all around us. I was furious, more so with myself than with the dark creature openly mocking me. He was being true to his nature; I could hardly fault him for that. However, if there hadn’t been a human witness present, I would have made him sorry for his comments.
“Do you have a purpose here?” I asked, maintaining a calm, cool outward appearance. Letting Shya know he was getting to me would only encourage him. “Are you just here to mock my purpose? Because I’m too busy right now to cater to your insecurity and selfish whims.”
He roared with laughter, causing Christina to press herself closer to me. I stayed quiet, hoping hard that he wouldn’t do anything to expose himself in front of her. If he revealed himself, showed his black wings or worse, it would force me to make a terrible choice. And, Shya was certainly aware of that.
“You know me, Willow,” he said with an amused grin. “I’m always up to something.”
I nodded knowingly, unconsciously tightening my hold on Christina. “Right, you’ve got an agenda. What are you doing here tonight?”
I locked eyes with the demon; my words became a command that he could not refuse. Though he ranked high among demons, I was the greater power here. He was compelled to answer me honestly, even against his will.
Shya gritted his teeth, as vehement hatred flashed through his scarlet eyes. His voice was strangled, as if he struggled against every word. “Watching… you and the others. Gathering information so I can stay two steps ahead of you.”
“And, what exactly have you learned?”
His amusement grew into a full-fledged sneer. His heated gaze slid over Christina. “That it won’t be long until you join my side.”
Shame and embarrassment washed over me. And anger. So much anger. As much as I wanted to launch myself at him in a rage, it was better simply to get rid of him. A fight between the two of us was unwinnable. I had the greater power, but we were both immortals. That fight would never end; it would merely grow tiresome.
“Leave. Now.”
Shya bowed low in mock respect. Then, with a pretentious wave, he vanished. The conniving waste had managed to leave his mark with that one wrong move.
“What the hell?” Shaken, Christina gasped, a hand over her mouth. “Did you see that? Did you see his eyes? Was that for real?”
With a hand beneath her chin, I drew her gaze to mine. Her deep, penetrating eyes were wide with fear. Sadly, I shook my head. I had foolishly tempted fate, and it had responded in full.
“Christina, there’s something I must tell you.”
Chapter Four
Lying to Christina was never an option. My actions had made the truth known. They had also put her in danger. Shya knew who she was and what she did. Her safety had been compromised.
As we walked back to the restaurant where she’d left her car, I told her the truth. She was reluctant to believe me though she had no other explanation for how a man with crimson reptilian eyes might suddenly disappear from sight.
At various points, she stopped in her tracks, questioning my sanity and then questioning her own. She laughed, swore and cried. Then, like all who refuse to give in to the comfortable escape of madness, she accepted it.
For several days, she didn’t call, which was best. If she never called, it would be easy to accept. Encountering Shya had been the wakeup call I needed; I’d fallen so easily into this silly quest for human love that it was bound to catch up to me. Still, I resented letting her go.
When the phone did ring, I jumped.
“My date got out of hand. I think I’m hurt. The asshole robbed me and threw me out on the street. I don’t have anyone else to call.” Her tone was forcefully calm, but she was unable to hide the sound of tears in her voice.
I existed to care for humanity, so I didn’t debate my decision for a split second. If I had known that going to her would seal both our fates, I would still have gone; I’m not sure what kind of a monster that makes me.
I found Christina huddled in a bus shelter. Her ebony hair was in disarray. Makeup and tears stained her face, accompanied by a black eye and bloody nose. Her dress was torn and tattered from the struggle. She peered up at me with uncertainty and hope, and I knew that no matter what had brought us to this moment now, I couldn’t let her down.
“Come on. Let’s get you home.” I lifted her in my arms and carried her from the bus shelter. For a moment, she was stiff in my embrace, but then she dissolved into tears and threw her arms around my neck.
I called for a taxi. As we rode to her apartment, I began to question my motives. Self-doubt plagued me even after we arrived at a nice building in a good neighborhood.
“Are you sure you don’t want to see a doctor?” I asked her for the third time.
With a shake of her head, she shoved open the door to her apartment. She limped inside, beckoning me to follow.
“I’ll be fine. I just need something to kill the pain.” Flicking on the kitchen light, Christina rummaged around in a cupboard, producing a pill bottle. Instead of water, she poured tequila into a glass.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Sit down. We need to clean you up.” I steered her over to the living room couch. My first attempt to remove the tequila from her hand failed. “Where are your hand towels? Do you have any rubbing alcohol or anything?”
“In the bathroom,” she pointed with an unlit cigarette before snatching a lighter from the coffee table
and sparking it. “So, does this mean angels don’t have some fancy healing ability?”
I gathered up a few things from the bathroom, pausing to wet a few towels with warm water. “It doesn’t work that way. We don’t all have the same power, and some things we can only do when we’ve been called to. It’s kind of complicated.”
Returning to the couch, I knelt in front of her. Trying to be gentle, I started by cleaning the blood from her pretty face. “Tell me what happened.”
“It was just like I said. The bastard beat my ass, robbed me and tossed me out of his car. This shit doesn’t happen often, but I’m usually more prepared. Go figure, the one time I leave my pepper spray at home.”
It hurt me to see the cuts and bruises she bore. I would never understand how they could do this to each other. Humans thought so little of the bond they shared. How could they not see how badly they needed one another? They were so quick to lash out in abuse, so slow to show love and mercy.
“Did he violate you?” I searched her eyes, needing to know if this man had forced her. The very thought filled me with a sick feeling.
Christina blew a plume of smoke in the air and shook her head. “No, he got what he paid for before he smacked me. I guess he wanted his money back. Must be losing my touch.”
The sick sensation grew. I had never experienced the need to vomit before, but I was pretty sure that’s what this felt like. The thought of a man putting his hands all over her, knowing her in a way only a true lover should, it disgusted me.
“Do you like it?” I asked, fearing her answer. “Don’t you ever want to stop?”
Christina sucked in a breath, letting it out in a long sigh. “Nobody likes it. Everybody wants to stop. For a while, anyway. I told myself I would only do it for a year, to help my dad after my mom passed. Then, he passed away too, and I didn’t stop.”
She sipped tequila, caressing the glass as if it were a dear friend. Tears welled up though she never let them fall. It was so hard to see the lost look in Christina’s eyes. She shoved a hand through her tangled hair and squeezed her eyes shut.
“I’m thirty years old, and my greatest accomplishment is having sex for money. Pathetic, huh?” She said this with a self-deprecating smile.
“No. Life is meaningless without mistakes. Learning from them is what counts. It’s not too late to do that, you know. You can walk away. Go to school or something. There is a better way, I promise.” I held her face steady in my hand as I cleansed the last of the blood from her nose. Warmth spread through me with a swell of emotion that stole my voice. She was a vision.
“I don’t know how to do anything else. Sometimes, I don’t even want to. It’s where I belong.”
“No, it’s not.” I’d seen this before. It wasn’t uncommon for humans to start to believe there was nothing better ahead. They grew so accustomed to the pain that they started to believe they deserved it. “As long as you have hope, anything is possible.”
I went to the kitchen to fetch ice from the freezer to wrap in a towel. Returning to her, I pressed the cold compress to her swollen face. The need to hurt the man who did this to her was sudden and strong. Violence toward humans wasn’t a trait of angels, and I turned my thoughts elsewhere in an attempt to squelch it.
Christina caught my hand in hers, holding it to her bruised cheek. “Thank you for treating me like a person. It’s been a long time since a man has seen me as anything but an object.”
She pulled me down on the couch beside her, and a jolt of panic pounded my chest. Leaning in close, Christina dropped the towel but held tight to my hand. Her lips were so soft and delicate as she kissed my palm.
“I feel like I was meant to meet you, Willow,” she continued, edging closer. “I don’t know what it’s like to be with a man who cares about me. There’s something about you that comforts me. I know I can trust you.”
“Yes, you can. That’s why I can’t give you what you want from me.” There, it was out. I had to say it now. Too much was going unsaid between us. I needed to stop this thing before it got out of control.
She looked so wounded. Confusion furrowed her brow. “You feel it, too. I know you do.”
I gazed at her pouty bottom lip, silent while a war raged inside me. “Yes, I do. But, we can’t be together, not the way you want; it’s forbidden.”
“Then why did you let it go this far? You can’t just turn on this charm and compassion, make a girl fall for you and then say it’s not going to happen.” She shoved to her feet and stormed into the kitchen where she grabbed the tequila bottle and drank from it. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you tonight. Maybe you should leave.”
I held the towel of ice out to her, feeling useless and guilty. “Here. You should put this on those bruises. It will help with the swelling.”
“I think I’ll deal with the pain first.” She used the bottle to gesture to the door. “Don’t feel like you have to stay. It’s ok. I can take it from here. Thanks for bringing me home.”
Christina began to shut down. Her hard shield fell back in place. She stood there in torn clothing with the marks of abuse on her face, and I couldn’t bring myself to walk out the door.
“If you want me to leave, I’ll go. I would rather stay, though. If that’s ok with you.” I wanted to tear that ugly bottle from her hand and throw it from the balcony. I didn’t, though the temptation was growing. It was a crutch, a filthy way of numbing out. I had watched far too many die in the bottom of a bottle, victims of their own need to escape.
Her shoulders slumped, and she stared dejectedly at the floor. “Sure, why not? I suppose I could use the company.”
“Can I get you anything? Coffee, maybe?”
Her grip on the tequila tightened. “Would you just sit with me for a while? Is that allowed?”
“Of course.”
I waited anxiously while she showered and changed. I said a silent prayer that nothing would come up with Alexa to drag me away. My charge was my priority; she had to be. However, I was needed here right now.
Christina emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam that smelled like flowers and strawberries. Tightly wrapped in a bathrobe with her face free from makeup, she looked vulnerable. An overwhelming number of urges struck me, all of them bordering on inappropriate.
“You’re still here,” she said, genuinely surprised to see me.
“I’ll stay as long as you need me, unless I get called away.”
She sat stiffly beside me. Abandoning the notion of awkwardness, I brazenly put an arm around her and drew her close. She relaxed against me with a soft sigh, and I had to stifle one of my own when she took it a step farther and rested her head on my chest.
For a long time, we sat there in comfortable silence. The early dawn rays broke through the curtains, casting a warm glow through the apartment. The sound of Christina’s slow, even breathing signaled that she was asleep. I very carefully lifted her, carrying her to the bedroom.
I paused in the doorway to her small, girlish room. A frame on the dresser drew my gaze to a photo of Christina and a big yellow lab. Twenty-year-old Christina grinned at the camera, her arms tight around her furry friend.
The rest of the dresser top was littered with jewelry and other assorted accessories. A pair of red underwear that was barely more than a scrap of material forced my gaze back to the bed.
Carefully, I laid her down and covered her with a sheet. I watched her sleep for a moment, telling myself this had to be the final goodbye. It was over now. It had to be, before I did something that we would both regret.
“Willow,” she whispered my name, her voice groggy. “Don’t go.”
Her word was my command. Done with my internal battle, I shoved the guilt aside and lay down beside her. She reached for me with a soft murmur.
Facing one another, Christina snuggled in close, and I wrapped her in my embrace, enjoying the way she felt when she pressed against me. It was uncanny how we fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. Her wet lock
s tickled my face, but I didn’t care. I was elated.
Her eyes opened, and she smiled. The small voice in my head grew silent. I gave myself over to the moment and kissed her.
The rush of excitement was dizzying. The touch of her mouth on mine struck me dumb. All sense or thought vanished. All I could focus on was the sweetness of her, the way she moved those soft lips to kiss me back.
She held me still with a hand on my face when I would have pulled away. Our connection held an intimacy that I hadn’t dreamed possible. Observing humanity had done little to prepare me for this lively expression of emotion.
The barest touch of her tongue filled me with shockwaves of delight. How could it be that such a simple act could be so deep and profound? My stomach tightened, and my breath came fast. I had never felt so human. It was wondrous.
My name was a murmur, the only sound in the room other than our breathing. Christina sought to pull me closer, pushing my hands against her bosom. I groaned, drawing hard on what remained of my willpower.
“I can’t,” I whispered, pulling back to stare into her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
She nodded, a small smile curving her lips. Stroking a hand down the side of my face, she said, “Don’t be.”
After pressing a small kiss to my cheek, she settled in against a pillow and closed her eyes. Long after she had fallen asleep, I lay there watching the dawn. I concentrated hard, making note of every detail: the way her hair fell across her face, the steady rise and fall of her chest and even the dust motes floating in the beam of light streaming through a crack in the blinds. I needed to savor every second of having Christina in my arms.
* * * *
I visited Christina everyday for the next week. Until her bruises healed, she was avoiding people as much as possible, especially clients. It gave us plenty of time to enjoy one another’s company.
Most days we stayed in her apartment, pretending the rest of the world didn’t exist. It was just the two of us. We often lay entangled on the bed or the couch while random movies played on the television screen. Kissing and holding her was enchanting, though it grew harder to resist the desire to make love to her.
