Level Hands: Bend or Break, Book 4

by Amy Jo Cousins

  “Hey. Whoa. Wait up. I told Coach we were going, yes. But you still have to talk to her yourself, dude.” Denny sat up again, pulling at the quilt until he had it over his lap. “You were there for that whole ‘personal responsibility and communication’ lecture too, man.”

  The one that had taken place on day two of the first week of practice. Lawson had made it clear all communication was to come directly to her, not via gossip from their friends. In a life-or-death scenario, getting a message to Ted, the team captain, was an acceptable alternative.

  Road trips were definitely not life or death. And Rafi hadn’t told Ted anything anyway.

  Damn it. He knew what the rules were. He’d been so caught up in the excitement and anxiety about this weekend away that he’d let that all slip from his mind. It was his own fault, but the embarrassment of fucking up in front of the one person he most wanted to impress burned so hot that he needed it to be Denny’s fault. Not his.

  Rafi had opened his mouth to say something he already knew he’d regret, when they were interrupted.

  “Dudes.” The harsh whisper rattled from the sunken chest of Austin, who clung to the frame of the door with desperate fingers. The bleeding red eyeballs and raspy voice ranked high on the hangover of death scale. “Seriously. Stop yelling.”

  Rafi whirled and took a step toward him. Austin flinched like someone had swung a baseball bat at him. “Did you tell Coach you were going away for the weekend?”

  “Course. What’m I? Crazy?” Austin dragged his arm up and bent his elbow across his eyes. “Now shut up, willya? Christ, I could’ve slept with Bob. Woulda been quieter.”

  “Right?” Denny groused, which might have been enough to get Rafi going again, but Austin dropped his arm.

  “Dude.” He dropped his gaze to Rafi’s crotch. “Nice dick.”

  Rafi threw himself like a rocket onto the bed, pulling at the quilt covering Denny as the two jackasses laughed and he tried to cover up. Not like Austin hadn’t seen him naked a hundred times in the locker room already, but that was different. He was supposed to be naked in a locker room. He was not supposed to be naked, or half-naked even, in Denny’s bedroom in Vermont. God, he hated making a fool of himself.

  “You get lost on your way back from the bathroom or something?” Austin’s voice bubbled with glee. Rafi knew this teasing wasn’t going to stop anytime soon.

  He shoved his face in the pillow. It was worth a shot. “It was too cold downstairs so I came up here to sleep.”

  The loud bark of laughter told him what a wasted effort that was. “Sure it did. Excellent plan. Conserve body heat. Snuggle with a buddy.”

  He stuck his hand up blindly, giving that whole quadrant of the room the finger.

  “Just keep it off the Richter scale when you come, okay? Some of us are trying to die in peace here.”

  Austin shuffled away down the hall, muttering curses under his breath. Rafi felt something nudge his hip through the quilt. He ignored it. Nudge. Nudge, nudge.

  “Leave me alone. I’m still mad at you.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t remind you to call Lawson.” That was Denny being hella generous, because they both knew it was Rafi who had fucked up. But that was Denny all over, willing to take responsibility for helping Rafi out at every turn.

  Time to admit it.

  He rolled over, pulling his pillow down to hug between his arms and rest his cheek against. “Nah. That was my fuck-up.”

  “I’m happy to help with the stress reduction,” Denny murmured, sliding closer on the mattress.

  Rafi cleared his throat. Now that he knew Austin was awake, and no doubt listening for sex noises… “I don’t think I can. Not now that people are awake.”

  “You sure?” Denny’s eyelids had lowered to half-mast in something that was probably supposed to look sexy, but mostly made Rafi want to ruffle his hair.

  “Yeah. Later?”

  “Hell yeah. Unless…” Denny’s voice trailed off as he stared past Rafi’s shoulder. A broad smile spilled over his face. “How do you feel about hiking?”

  “Walking up hills? Not good.”

  “Let me rephrase. How do you feel about the two of us heading out for a walk in the woods? To a remote spot, with no people around. And a blanket.”

  “It isn’t too cold?”

  Denny’s grin was everything. “Snuggle with a buddy, right?”

  Rafi’s morning hard-on, which had vanished at the sound of Coach Lawson’s voice, returned to cast a vote in favor of this idea. “I feel very positive about that proposal.”

  Denny jumped out of bed, excitement clearly firing on all pistons. He scooped Rafi’s crusty sleep pants off the floor and tossed them at him. “Go get dressed. Showered. Whatever. And meet me outside in twenty minutes.”

  Rafi stared at him from the bed. Twenty minutes? “Man, it’s really early.” Was it even nine o’clock yet? Maybe. Coach had called him after practice had ended.

  “Alone time. A blanket.” Denny spoke firmly.

  “Moving now.”

  As he left the room and headed back downstairs to where he’d left his bag last night, Rafi could have sworn he heard Denny chirp happily behind him.

  “Getting spanked awake might be my new favorite way to start the day.”

  Rafi was all the way awake by the time they loaded up backpacks for their hike. The other three were up and opting to spend the day on the couch, binge watching Top Gear, which seemed like a dumbass thing to do when they’d driven all the way here. What was the point of road tripping if they were only going to sprawl on the couches in their underwear and watch TV like they would have back in the suite?

  Okay, Vinnie wouldn’t have sprawled in his underwear back home. In fact, the sight of Vinnie in boxers and a T-shirt had momentarily stunned Rafi that morning when his suitemate stumbled into the kitchen, searching for coffee for what looked like the world’s worst hangover.

  When Vinnie let his hair down, he let it down hard.

  Sobriety and pants both went out the window, apparently.

  When Rafi found Vinnie’s sweats on the front lawn as he and Denny headed out, he learned that a night with a higher-than-a-kite Austin meant the pants-out-the-window thing was literal. Apparently he wasn’t the only one who’d gotten up to shenanigans last night.

  “Which way? And why aren’t we driving?” he asked, looking at the car with longing as Denny headed down the driveway on foot.

  “There’s nowhere to park a car where I’m taking you. It’s a tiny trailhead off the side of the road. Only locals know it, and you have to walk in.”

  The walk to the trailhead wasn’t as bad as he feared. Hills, yes, but mostly mellow ones. At least until they finally stepped off the side of the road and started hiking up the dirt trail that Denny had spotted from the verge. When he’d pointed to it, Rafi had barely been able to pick out the dent in the tree line at the side of the road.

  A couple of months of Massachusetts living had him used to walking up and down hills in a way he’d feared would never happen during those first embarrassingly painful weeks at Carlisle. Rafi wasn’t confident he’d be up to the trail, though. At least, not until Denny assured him even old people hiked this route.

  Old people who’d spent their lives hiking Everest, probably. But still.

  Twenty minutes in, his thighs were burning. Ten minutes after that, he had to call ahead to Denny, who was loping up the trail as if it were prairie flatland, and ask him to wait up.

  Even after he’d caught up, it pained him to have to ask for a quick break.

  “Easy, killer.” Denny’s hand on his wrist pulled the water bottle away from Rafi’s mouth as he chugged it. “You seriously don’t want stomach cramps on a hike.”

  “Tell me the truth. Is this hard for you at all?” Rafi asked, trying not to be a shit about how much it bothered him
not to be able to keep up with Denny.

  “Uh, sure.” But his voice lifted like he wasn’t sure of the answer, and Rafi didn’t believe him. Denny’s cheeks, already pink with exertion, flushed further. “Okay, it’s not hard, but I can feel it in my legs, you know what I mean?”

  Rafi nodded and waved at him to keep going up the trail. Sure. He knew what Denny meant. That’s how Rafi—who was fit as hell, damn it, so why was this so hard?—felt when he ran or rowed or did almost any other physical activity except walking up a freaking hill.

  In short order, though, Denny was twenty yards ahead of him again, pausing from time to time to look behind him and make sure he hadn’t lost his straggler.

  Concentrating on walking with an even pace and controlling his breathing—not to mention avoiding the tree roots that snaked across the dirt path at random points to trip him up—Rafi didn’t notice at first that Denny had come back down to him.

  “So, you’ve never gone hiking before, huh?”

  “How can you tell?” he muttered.

  “Because you don’t know how to walk uphill.”

  “What the fuck?” Seriously. This was bullshit. There was some secret kind of uphill walking trick? “I don’t believe you.”

  Why everyone in America hadn’t ended up moving to the prairie, where you could walk without trying, was a fucking mystery to Rafi. But he was breathing too hard to bitch out loud, so he kept that gem of an historical analysis to himself.

  “Listen, you wouldn’t let me go for a bike ride with you that first week because you, what? Didn’t want to let me see you struggle?” Denny asked, nailing it in one. Rafi ducked his head and mumbled something about being embarrassed. “Yeah, well, I probably could have shown you some stuff. But I know, I know. You can’t stand needing my help.”

  “Sorry. It’s a habit.”

  “Well, break it, dude. Because I can actually help you. So let me teach you how to walk uphill, okay?”

  After all that, it would have taken a dumber man than Rafi not to answer with an, “Okay. I’m listening.”

  “You want to let your knee lock for a split second every time you straighten your leg.” Denny took a slow step, demonstrating. “It takes your weight off your muscles and puts it all on your bones. Cuts some of the lactic acid build-up in your quads.”

  Rafi tried it. The motion felt unnatural, stiff, as if he were walking like a robot. And he couldn’t really tell if it was making a difference in his already tired legs. But he kept at it.

  “Better?”

  “Can’t tell.” He started back up the trail. Step, lock. Step, lock. “But I figure, of the two of us, you’re the one who knows what the fuck he’s talking about. So what the hell. I’ll do it.”

  “It’s not too much farther anyway. We’ll take a break at the falls.”

  “A waterfall?” Rafi practically felt his ears perk up. He hadn’t been kidding when he’d said he’d never been hiking before. He had friends who had driven to Starved Rock Park, about two hours outside of Chicago, and they’d come back covered in mosquito bites the size of quarters, full of tales of fun hikes and waterfalls. He’d always thought it would be cool to see one. He could picture it; water roaring and crashing down on the rocks, spray filling the air like mist.

  “Don’t get excited,” Denny cautioned him, a hand in the air. “It’s just a little one.”

  “Lead on, Macduff.”

  A real waterfall. Now that would be something to video and send to his sisters.

  “Rafi in the wilderness, coming your way.”

  Denny’s smile pretty much always made Rafi’s heart stutter. So he wasn’t surprised when that turned out to be the case in the middle of the woods, after a half hour of huffing and puffing and bitching up what he knew Denny would probably call a large hill.

  But the light that sparked in Denny’s eyes at Rafi’s enthusiasm for the waterfall zinged over Rafi’s skin and set off firecrackers under his tailbone, until he had to wave at Denny to start walking again, hiding the hard-on that sprang up out of nowhere.

  The morning might have gotten off to a rocky start, but with the vision of the blanket and the alone time lodged in his brain, he was totally on board with the off-trail plan.

  Rafi tugged at the backpack straps on his shoulders. Denny had thrown together a quick pack containing what he’d called the basics for the two of them: water, snacks, flashlight, more snacks, first aid kit, cell phone. It had seemed excessive to Rafi. They weren’t hiking to the top of a mountain after all. But after ten minutes of Denny’s lecture about hikers who got lost in the Presidential range that crossed New Hampshire, Rafi had conceded the “never hit the trail unprepared” rule. More than conceded. When Denny’s back was turned, Rafi stuffed another six protein bars in the front pocket of the backpack.

  Just in case.

  He didn’t know why he’d insisted on carrying the backpack, but he strongly suspected it was his brain’s dumbass instinct to show he was in charge of something, even when he had no idea what he was doing. The look on Denny’s face had said he wanted to argue, but he’d let Rafi take the pack without an argument. What had felt like a light enough load at the beginning of their walk to the trail was now giving him a nagging pain in his lower back, but Rafi didn’t even consider complaining or asking to trade off.

  Besides, since Denny had taught him the rest-step, Rafi’s thighs and calves had been a lot more enthusiastic about the steep parts of the uphill climb. Not feeling like he was dying meant he had enough energy left to admire the bunch and slide of muscles in Denny’s legs and ass. God, that ass. The memory of it pressed against his dick in the bathroom, his hands stroking Denny until he came…

  Rafi stumbled over nothing and came back to the present with a curse that halted Denny in his tracks.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah.” Except for a hard-on the size of this mountain. Rafi looked around them. They hadn’t seen anyone since leaving the trail head. “Is there, like, poison ivy or anything around here?”

  Denny peered off trail and shook his head. “I don’t see any. Why? You have to take a leak?”

  Rafi pulled Denny off the path and into the sparse woods, tugging him to the far side of a large tree. They were out of sight. Mostly.

  “Where are you—?”

  “Alone time.”

  “Yeah, but…” Denny looked over his shoulder at the trail to the waterfall.

  Rafi shrugged off the backpack, grabbed Denny’s T-shirt and backed him up against the tree. “It can wait. I can’t.”

  “Okay,” Denny breathed, grabbing the back of Rafi’s head and pulling him close. Rafi leaned into him and opened his mouth, wanting to take it slow, to linger over kissing in this quiet place that smelled like dirt and green and hummed with quiet life. But images of sex and naked skin dappled by sunlight through leaves pushed his need higher until he was rubbing himself against Denny. The ridges of their erections lined up through their shorts, and Rafi thought the outdoors was the fucking best thing ever.

  “God, I’m gonna come in my shorts,” Denny ground out.

  Not until I get you in my mouth, you don’t.

  Before Denny could say a word, Rafi dropped to his knees. He pulled as Denny pushed and shorts hit the ground. Then Denny pulled his T-shirt out of the way, leaving himself naked in all the right places.

  “There’s condoms in the backpack—” Denny began, but Rafi shook his head. They both knew how low the risk was with Denny on PrEP, but he wouldn’t have cared either way. The idea of tasting Denny was making his body hum.

  Rafi slid his hands up Denny’s thighs, ruffling the hair as muscles bunched under his palms. He lifted one hand and trailed a finger along Denny’s length, smiling at the choked-off groan that spilled into the air. “You’re so pink. I can never get over how pink you are.”

  “Less talking, please,
” Denny said, and then gasped as Rafi obliged and wrapped his lips around the head of Denny’s cock, licking him as much for the taste as for what it did to Denny. Which was make him cry out so loudly, something rustled away through the brush as Rafi poked the tip of his tongue into Denny’s slit and made him squirm.

  They were twenty feet off the trail and Rafi was pretty confident they’d hear anyone coming in time, but the tension of not knowing for sure was an extra jolt of holy-shit-hot to the system.

  He closed his eyes, sinking under the adrenaline rush and pushing down farther on Denny’s cock. Letting his mouth water, which was easy because Denny tasted delicious. Every time he lifted up, Rafi sucked extra hard, pulling another spurt of precome out until his mouth was full of nothing but the taste of Denny.

  His jaw ached and his eyes watered and his knees hurt because he was a dumbass who went to his knees in the woods, which were full of fucking rocks apparently, and Rafi didn’t give a damn. Denny in his mouth was everything he wanted, and he was going to suck his boy inside out before he let him go.

  “Shit. I’m not gonna last,” Denny panted when Rafi reached between his legs with one hand to grab his balls.

  Rafi smiled around Denny’s dick and squeezed gently. The next groan that ripped out of Denny’s mouth as Rafi sucked and swallowed, letting the back of his throat squeeze the tip of Denny’s dick, was half protest, half laugh.

  “Proud of that, huh?”

  Rafi hummed his yes and Denny’s dick turned to steel in his mouth. Hips punching forward, Denny cried out and came, pushing so deep into Rafi’s throat that Rafi coughed when he finally pulled free. He wiped his wet eyes against Denny’s thigh and then leaned his forehead there, catching his breath. Nothing but silence from above him. Silence, and a distant noise reminding Rafi of where they’d been heading. He looked up. “Is that the waterfall I hear?”

  “Wait. Don’t you want to…?” Denny stared pointedly at Rafi’s crotch.

  Rafi grinned and tugged Denny’s shorts back up, tucking him in gently. “You bet. Right next to that waterfall, baby.”