by Wendy Smith
He rolls his eyes to look at the ceiling. “No, silly. Mum made some more.”
“Glad to hear it.”
This kid is getting so far under my skin, just as much as his mother. It’s crazy. Sure, he’s a little quirky, but it all adds to his character.
Lily opens the passenger door, and Max clambers over the centre console and into the seat. His dusty sneakers leave dirt all over the leather seat, and as he scrambles out behind his mother, she turns and gapes at what he’s done.
“Max! Adam, I’m so sorry.” She leans in and brushes the seat, but I capture her hand in mine and stop her.
“It’s okay. It’ll come off.”
Those eyes of hers suck me in, and her breath hitches as we gaze at one another. She’s struggling with this as much as I am. Why’s she so abrasive?
Lily frowns and pulls her hand away. She doesn’t have to say a word. There’s something between us even after all this time, and instead of being easy, it’s so hard I can’t form coherent thoughts about it. It’s so right, and yet somehow so wrong. I don’t know why, and it’s maddening.
I get out of the car and walk toward the house, following behind Lily and Max. Max is so full of energy, he practically skips to the front door. I give myself a little smile. Now I get more time with them.
“Coffee or cordial?” Lily asks as we enter the kitchen. She walks to the bench and flicks on the kettle.
“Coffee, please,” I say.
“Cordial, Mum. I’m not allowed coffee.” Max sits at the dining table and I join him, tousling his hair along the way.
“I bet you’re not. And I bet we could both have a cookie.”
“They’re my favourite.” He grins. “Mum makes the best cookies.”
“Better than the ones at the bakery?”
Max nods. “Except for the gingerbread men. Those are awesome.”
I smile. “Owen wouldn’t let me have one last time I saw him. They’re pretty precious.”
Looking up, I see Lily’s eyebrows raised and I shrug. She carries the biscuit container to the table and lifts the lid.
“How many am I allowed?” I ask Max, remembering how he freaked out last time he thought he lost one.
“We can have one each.”
I nod and am rewarded with a smile from his mother. These kinds of things must keep her on edge, not knowing how Max will react. She pours the hot water into the cups and stirs.
“I’ll tell you what. You can pick out which one I’m allowed so I don’t choose the wrong one.”
Max rolls his eyes. “It doesn’t matter, duh.”
“Hey. Be nice to Adam. He’s just trying not to pick out the one you want.” Lily places Max’s cordial and my coffee in front of us.
“Sorry,” Max says.
“No harm done,” Max smiles when I grin at him.
Lily puts down the biscuit tin between us, and sits beside me with her coffee.
“Can we get a new car?” It’s the second time Max has asked this, and Lily can’t distract him this time.
“We can’t yet, sweetheart.” Her cheeks flush as if she’s embarrassed.
“It sucks.”
“Yeah, it does, but that’s life.”
I feel like an intruder watching their exchange. What I want to do is reach out and help, but I’m also acutely aware of Lily’s pride.
“At least tomorrow’s Friday.” I offer up a change of subject instead. “Nearly the weekend, Max.”
He grins, crumbs from his cookie sprinkling all over the tablecloth. “Will Mum’s car be fixed by then?”
“I’ll fix it tomorrow.”
Max sits up straight, his eyes wide. “Can I watch?”
“It’ll be sorted out while you’re at school. Are you interested in cars?” I ask.
“He is now,” Lily mutters. Max nods.
“I was probably about your age when I started getting interested in them. If you want to, we could sort out a day where I show you what goes where.”
His gaze shoots straight to his mother. “Can we, Mum?”
“We’ll see.”
At least she didn’t say no.
After coffee and two cookies, I reach over and touch Lily’s arm. “I think I should get going. See you tomorrow?”
She nods. “I’ll walk you out.”
As I stand, I lean over and ruffle Max’s hair. I get a grin in return. “See you in the morning, bud. Want to come for another ride in my car?”
He looks at his mother first and then back at me. “Yes please.”
Lily follows me to the door, and I stand there once I’ve opened it to say goodbye.
“Thank you again for today.” She still seems to hold back, almost thanking me reluctantly.
“Any time you need help, just call the house. I’ll grab a mobile tomorrow. I don’t think there’s anywhere here I can buy one.”
Her expression softens, and I’m rewarded with the smallest of smiles. “Sure.”
Her tone suggests she’ll never do it, but I’ve put the offer out there.
That’s all I can do.
13
Adam
I’m on their doorstep early in the morning. Lily told me school still starts at nine, and I want to make sure I’m there in plenty of time.
I grin at the thud of footsteps running toward the door. It can only be Max with that much enthusiasm.
Sure enough, his cheeky face appears as the door is flung open, and following him is his mother, frowning and exasperated.
“How many times have I told you to check who it is before you open the door, Max?”
He slouches. From what I’ve seen, the last thing he wants is to disappoint his mother.
“He’ll do it next time. Right, Max?” I’m trying to cheer the kid up, but all I do is piss off Lily as she glares at me.
“I’m sorry, Mum,” Max says, leaning against her. He gazes up at her with all this adoration in his eyes, and her frown cracks as she looks back down at him. There’s so much love there, I assume the result of them just having each other for a while. I wonder how long it’s been since his father was out of the picture?
“I hope I’m early enough.”
Lily checks her watch. “We’re good. Max, do you want to grab our bags?”
He nods and shoots back into the house.
“I’m sorry if I overstepped the mark. He seems like a good kid.”
Lily nods. “He is. He just forgets, so I have to drum things into him. Max had developmental delays and he struggles sometimes.” Her smile lights up her face. “But that’s what I’m here for.”
“Got them, Mum.” Max runs back, passing her a brown leather bag and flinging his own over his shoulder. “Let’s go. Yay, I get to go in Adam’s car again.”
I catch Lily’s eye roll as Max walks past me and out to the car. At least she’s smiling now, even if it is small and strained. What I need is some time to talk to her alone, and we’ll get plenty of that on the road to get the part.
“Come on,” I say, holding out my hand.
She nods and walks straight past me toward the car, and I smile to myself and follow. I don’t think she’s trying to treat me badly—that’s not Lily. I think she’s trying to keep her distance, maybe for self-preservation, and with her having a child, I get it. She needs to protect him as much as herself.
“Car’s unlocked,” I say.
“Make sure you use the back door this time,” Lily says.
Max tugs at the back door, pulling it open, and Lily makes sure he’s buckled in before walking around the car and opening the passenger door. I sit in the driver’s side and wait for her to do up her seat belt before starting the car.
“Ready for a good day at school, Max?” I ask.
“Yep,” he yells, bouncing in the back seat.
“Max loves school,” Lily says. “Nothing gets him down for long. Does it, Max?”
“Nope.”
I start the car and slowly turn toward the driveway. Lily glares as I r
ev the engine, spinning the wheels and kicking up the gravel in her yard.
Max, on the other hand, squeals with delight and claps. “Do that again.”
“Your mum won’t be too happy if I do.”
“It’s not safe,” she grumbles.
“I’d never do anything to hurt you. Or Max,” I say.
As I speak, I just catch another eye roll before she turns her head to look out the window.
She’s impossible. I’m so going to enjoy getting under her skin.
The fifteen-minute drive to school goes quietly, except for Max. Lily continues to look the other way, but Max is full of pure joy as we make our way down the main street of town. He’s in his element, beaming with pride as he gets a ride in my car. I think it’s true love.
“Your car is so fast, Adam,” he says.
“Sometimes. I can’t go too fast or the cops might chase me.”
He laughs, and I sneak a glimpse at Lily. The corner of her mouth twitches up to smile.
“Mum never drives fast. Her car is a piece of crap. I wish she’d get one like this.”
“Max.” That magic moment seems to be gone for her and she twists a little further away, as if she’s here out of obligation and doesn’t really want to be.
“I think your mum does a great job with what she has. Those cars last forever if you treat them right.” While I think she needs something a bit more modern and safe, I know now to hold my tongue while I’m around Max. The last thing I want is to piss Lily off even further.
“I guess.”
In the rear-view mirror, I see Max sit up straight. I slow down and perform a U-turn to pull up outside the school. This kid is so proud in this moment—the whole school is going to know it.
“Thanks, Adam,” he says, unbuckling his seat belt. Lily’s already got her door open, and gets the door for Max. “Thanks, Mum.”
“Want me to come in?” she asks
“Nope.”
She still stands and watches as he disappears inside the gate, shifting slightly I assume to get a longer look.
After yesterday, I understand her concern. “I might just go to the gate and check he’s got into his class okay.”
Before she can say no, I’m out the driver’s side and around the car. I press the remote to lock the car, and together, we walk the short distance to the gate. Her shoulders slump in relief as Max gets to the grey prefab classroom and gets in the door.
“You okay?” I ask, watching her face.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You’re worried about him.”
She sighs. “Any time he gets picked on I get nervous.”
“Lily.”
Lily turns at the sound of her name and I turn too. Coming up behind us is a statuesque dark-haired woman. As she draws closer, she looks more and more familiar. I narrow my eyes to take a closer look.
“Adam?” She knows me. I know this face.
“Sure is,” I say.
I flick a glance at a frowning Lily. Clearly, she’s not happy, whoever this woman is.
“It’s me—Sasha.”
The light dawns. Sasha was in school two years ahead of us, and my mother had not been impressed when my fifteen-year-old brother had started seeing sixteen-year-old Sasha. Corey had dated her on and off for a year, and during one of their off times, she’d become pregnant with another guy’s child. Then that guy left. Her oldest must be in high school by now. She must have had another kid.
“Sasha.”
She turns her attention to Lily. “Which is what I wanted to talk to you about. Karl tells me he had to look after your boy when you were late picking him up yesterday.”
“Look after? You mean pick on. My car broke down and I was a little late, but your boy wasn’t looking after Max. Not in the slightest.”
Sasha’s face goes red, and her nostrils flare. I know that look. Before they’d split for good, Corey had often been on the receiving end of it.
“What are you trying to say? Karl said Max said some nasty things about me, and he was sticking up for me.”
“It was the other way around. He said something about me, and Max spoke up.”
“Liar. There’s something wrong with that kid of yours.”
Lily fists her hands.
“Actually, Sasha, I saw the whole thing. Karl said some pretty nasty things about Lily. Max stood up for his mother.” I’m not about to let this go without speaking up, and not just because of my unresolved and unreturned feelings for Max’s mother.
She rolls her eyes. “I should have known you’d stand up for him.”
“I’m just telling you what I saw. I’d be talking to your kid if I was you. Make sure he knows not to bully anyone, especially smaller kids.”
She’s not going to get any further with this and she knows it—I can see it in her eyes. Instead, she draws a deep breath and jerks her head into a stiff nod. “I think we both need to talk to our boys if that’s the case.”
If looks could kill, Lily would be dead twice over. No wonder Sasha’s kid has a shitty attitude.
“Pretty sure Lily doesn’t need to speak to Max.” I can’t help it. Beside me, I hear Lily let out a quiet laugh.
“At least if you’re around he’ll have some sort of father figure.”
Now I remember why Sasha pissed Corey off so much. She may have been hot and put out, but she was mega bitchy. “I think he’s done fine up until now. He’ll be even better if bigger kids didn’t try bullying him.”
She opens her mouth again as if to say something, then closes it. Guess she’s happy picking a fight with Lily, but not with me. Without any further words, she turns and walks away.
Lily’s hand lands on my shoulder, and I turn my head to see a smile on those lips, her eyes twinkling with laughter. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know, but it made me feel better. Some things never change, do they? Like how annoying she is?”
For a moment we gaze at one another, and I take in the sight of a happy Lily. She makes me think of better times, when all we had was laughter and love and nothing else mattered. It seems so long ago.
“We’ll check in with Jack and then shall we go and get this part for your car?” I ask, aching to link my fingers in hers and cover her hand in kisses. It used to be our thing once, and she would tease me about what a gentleman I was. At least in public.
She nods. “Yes please. Sooner I can get back on the road, the better.”
The moment’s gone as she turns back toward my car, and I trail behind her. I wish I knew how to break through with her, to get past that barrier that’s between us. Every time I see her, I feel as if I’m closer, but there’s so much of herself she keeps hidden.
I should know.
Jack doesn’t have the part, but he loans me some tools to fix the car.
I had planned on trying to speak with Lily about our years apart on the way to Callahans, but instead we sit in an uncomfortable silence while I try to work out what to say. Every time I’m near her, my thoughts are confused, and it’s hard to get them together.
“I haven’t had too many problems with that car. It’s usually well behaved.” It’s surprising, but Lily’s the one who breaks the quiet, giving me a small smile. I think this is as awkward for her as it is for me.
“They don’t make them like they used to. There’s a reason those cars are still around. Not hard to fix either.”
“Thank you.”
I grin. “You’re welcome. I’m happy to help.”
“I do appreciate it.”
She’s throwing me a lifeline. Do I grab it and push my luck, or just work with it and take it at her pace? “To be honest, I’m glad it waited until I was in town to help out. Must be hard when you have to travel so far to get anything done.”
Lily sighs. “It doesn’t make life easy. The apprentice Jack had when you were here qualified and left, and he struggled to find someone else. It just ended up too much for him.”
“Yeah, he wa
s telling me. It’s such a shame for the area to lose services like that.”
“That’s what happens in a small town.” She looks down at her hands. “I still wouldn’t live anywhere else.”
“Why did you stay here?” The question slips from me before I can stop it.
Lily shrugs. “Despite everything, it’s a good place to raise a child. I don’t know how Max would handle the city. I think it’d be too noisy and distracting for him.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“Did you miss this place?”
Callahans is coming up on the left-hand side of the road, and I indicate to pull into the driveway, not wanting this moment to end. Who knows how the trip back will go? “I missed it a lot. Though I think at first it was the who I missed rather than the where. Being back makes me realise just how much homesick I’ve been, even if I didn’t realise it at the time.”
She nods, and then she’s first out of the car when I stop in the car park. I’m not sure if she’s running from further conversation or just eager to get her car fixed. I suspect it’s the conversation.
“You’re keen.” I laugh as I get out the car.
“Sorry. I just want to get it sorted. We’re so dependent on that damn car.” She gives me her first truly genuine smile, and as they always did, her eyes light up and her gratitude is plain to see. “I owe you for this.”
“Do I get to choose how I get paid out?” I take a chance.
Her eyebrows creep up and her lips quirk like she’s trying not to smile. “What did you have in mind?”
I round the car to stand in front of her. “To spend some time with you. Maybe a date?”
The strangest expression crosses her face, uncertainty with a tiny bit of want. Although that might be wishful thinking on my part.
“I don’t date.”
“Ever?”
“Ever.”
I cock my head and eye her up. “Why not?”
Her shoulders slump. “I can’t. I also don’t know if the car park of the garage is the right place to be having this conversation.” She walks past me and toward the door. As she reaches it, she pauses and looks back over her shoulder. “Are you going to tell me which belt I need, or do I have to guess? I bet there’s a whole lot of variants.”
