by Wendy Smith
“Can you two not do that out here?” Max grumbles.
“Sorry.” I ruffle his hair, and he laughs. “Let’s go check out the water.”
The sunshine is warm on my shoulders, and the air is filled with laughter, just as the people fill the water.
“Looks like it might be a go for swimming,” Adam says.
“Come on, Dad.” Max slips around the other side of us and grabs Adam’s hand. Adam turns to check my reaction.
“Go with your son. I’ll be right behind you.” What I really want is to sit and dig my toes in the sand. Just sitting in the sun for a while seems good to me.
I find an empty spot and sit, watching Adam and Max approach the water. From the way Max jumps around, it seems as if it’s a little cold, but having been here so often, it’ll just be a case of getting in and getting used to it.
Max strips off his shirt and pulls down his shorts, handing them to Adam. Adam looks around, and jogs back toward me, a grin on his face, dropping Max’s clothing on the ground. He reaches for the bottom of his T-shirt and tugs it over his head.
“You know every girl on this beach will be looking at you,” I say as he pulls his wallet out of his pocket and hands it to me.
“You know I don’t care what every girl looks at. Just you.” He laughs. “Max is really keen for a swim. It’s a bit chilly, but we’ll be good for a while.”
He bends to kiss me, and I raise my face to meet him.
A loud shriek fills the air. I know that sound.
I’m on my feet before Adam registers anything’s happened. “What’s …” he starts before turning around. I’m sprinting, running into the water to my knees, pulling a much larger boy off my screaming son.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I yell.
Max gulps for air, but at least he’s not screeching. “Karl pushed me.”
“I did not.” Karl stands beside me, his hands on his hips.
“I saw you with your hands on him. Did you hold him under the water?” I pull Max up. He’s okay. I’m the one shaking.
It’s clear Max has been under. This is a boy so cautious that he takes forever to adjust to the temperature. He’ll go in just a little bit at a time, and on previous visits we’ve been down here and barely put our knees in.
“No.”
There’s another shriek, this time behind me. I turn in time to see Sasha entering the water, her eyes full of anger, all directed at me. “Get your hands off my son.”
I raise myself to my full height and stand toe to toe with her. For years she got jibes in where she could, little snarky remarks about me, about Mum, about the Campbells, even when I had nothing to do with them. She’d been one of those mean girls at school and never changed. Now I’m determined it will. “I pulled him off Max. Get your son to leave mine alone.”
She rolls her eyes. “Everyone knows it’s your son who has the problem. He’s mentally deficient, Lily—you can’t just leave him by himself.”
“I think I know more about what my son is capable of than you. Apparently I know more about what your son is capable of, too.”
Adam arrives at my side, and his hand lands on my back. “If you want to have a go at who left Max by himself, have a go at me. But it seems to me that Karl is the one who can’t be trusted.” He runs his hand up to my shoulder and squeezes.
Sasha’s face goes a brilliant shade of red. She’s quite happy to run me down, but Adam’s another story.
“Come on, Max. Want to go for a swim?” he says.
“Yep, Dad.” Max has already bounced back, and as he grabs Adam’s hand, Adam leans over and pecks me on the lips.
“Have fun, you two.” I wade out of the water and back to where I abandoned my bag on the beach. Thankful for the fact that Copper Creek is a small town without too much in the way of crime and that my things are where I left them, I spread out a towel so I can dry without getting sand on my now wet shorts and watch Adam playing with our son. Sasha stands off to the side while Karl swims by himself.
I might feel sorry for him if he wasn’t such a bully. It’s clear where that comes from. From what I’ve heard, his elder brother is the same. I’m grateful that at least he’s in high school and not around to pick on other kids. He’s nowhere to be seen today, and I assume he’s off somewhere wreaking havoc.
Leaning back on my hands, I raise my face to meet the sun and close my eyes. Having Adam around has already been good for me. I’m nowhere near as tired, and I know I can depend on him. For now.
My chest still clenches when I think about him leaving, even for a short time. He hasn’t told me much about his deployment yet, where he’s been, what he’s done. It scares me to think about him at war. Although, it always did. Even when I thought he’d turned his back on me, I still worried about him.
I lose myself in the now as I shift my gaze back to the water. Adam and Max splash each other, and I can hear the laughter from where I sit. Karl still hovers not too far from them, watching Max playing with his father. I wonder if it’s envy that drives his behaviour.
It’s warm, and I lie down on my back. A slight breeze wafts over me, but the sun is calming, and it’d be so easy to fall asleep.
Max’s shriek fills the air, and I’m jolted out of my daze as I sit. Max is fine, I can see him, but Adam’s swimming out farther and I stand again, running toward Max as he points into the distance. When I reach the edge of the water Max runs to me, his arms flailing about.
“Dad saw Karl in trouble. He’s gone to get him.”
I look around for Sasha. She’s nowhere to be seen, and I growl in frustration.
There’s no sign of Karl, and Adam dives under the water. My heart is in my throat as we watch them, Max wrapping his wet arms around my waist. I don’t care. Around us, people run into the water. The water’s so calm here, and it’s not like a big beach where there are lifeguards.
I can’t take my eyes off the spot Adam went under, and I hold my breath waiting.
He pops back out of the water, and tears well. Karl’s in his arms. Adam swims, then steps as he draws closer.
“What’s going on?” Sasha says behind me. I turn to see her, ice cream in hand.
“Karl disappeared into the water. My dad saved him,” Max says proudly.
“What?” Her eyes fill with fear, and she drops the ice cream in the sand, the seagulls swooping in to fight over the cone. She wades into the water to meet Adam. She strokes Karl’s head as they walk back to the sand.
“He’s okay, just went too deep. He’ll be fine.” Adam’s reassuring her, and when they’re clear of the water, he lowers Karl onto the ground. The boy coughs and splutters a bit, and Sasha kneels beside him. There’s a cheer from the water as people watch.
I can’t find it in myself to get petty payback for the harsh words she used on me earlier. Instead, I say nothing.
“Thank you,” she says, taking her son’s hand in hers.
“You’re welcome,” Adam says.
“I hope you’re okay, Karl.” Max’s words touch my heart. It wasn’t that long ago Karl was cruel to him, but Max rises above it. My pride in him grows.
We walk away with Sasha berating her boy for going in over his head. Max knows better than that, but then he also knows how to swim. I made sure of that.
When we reach our things, Adam wipes himself down, tugs on his shirt and wraps the towel around his waist. “How about we swing by the store on the way home and pick up ice creams? Screw standing in that queue.”
Max follows his father’s example, drying off his chest as Adam smiles.
“You’re a good man,” I say.
“I am now.”
I shake my head. “You always were.”
Adam takes me in his arms, and I raise my face to look into his dark eyes, the ones filled with love and desire all for me. He says nothing but presses his lips to mine, dragging my bottom lip through his teeth as he lets go. There’s no mistaking the message he’s sending.
Tonig
ht can’t come soon enough.
After dinner, I tuck Max in. Being in the sun and water wore him out, even though we weren’t out for long.
“I’m going to get in the shower,” Adam says.
“It’s a shame I had one before dinner. I’m going to bed.”
He chuckles. “Meet you there?”
Pulling a big T-shirt on to sleep, I lie down and close my eyes. After a few minutes, the mattress sinks as Adam joins me. “What’s the deal with you and Eric?”
I sit up. “What do you mean?”
“Were you two together?”
I swallow. Adam’s so passionate about this new start and us being together. The last thing I need is him going after Eric. “Kind of. I mean, we dated for a while.”
“Is that why he thinks you’re fair game?”
I sigh. It wouldn’t be the first time testosterone’s kicked in with those two. This is part of my story we just haven’t discussed. “When Max was born, Eric’s mother brought me back here and gave me a place to live. We stayed in the main house in for a few days before this place was ready for us. I was so focused on Max I barely noticed Eric was around.”
Adam smirks.
“Besides, there was only one man I wanted, and I had no idea where he was. “
He reaches up and rubs my shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t know. This place was used to house farmhands when the property was bigger, but it had been empty for a while. Mrs Murphy had everything moved from Mum’s house and brought here. It became our home.”
Adam smiles, leaning his hand on my arm. “I’m so grateful for her.”
“She was amazing, and Eric was attentive and kind to me. When Max started having issues, Eric’s mother would look after him so I could get a break, and I spent some time with Eric.” I drop my gaze. “We grew close, but it was never right. I hadn’t seen you for maybe four years, and I still felt guilty about letting anyone near me. So I broke it off.”
Adam frowns and pulls me back down to the bed. His eyes search my face, and all I feel is pain. I still remember the moment I knew I couldn’t move forward with Eric. We were in the car, parked in a remote spot after spending an evening at an outdoor movie in the cove. We’d taken things slowly. He was very sweet and gentle and kissed me with more feeling than I’d had in a long time.
I’d let him kiss me, and the simple act had left me missing what only Adam had ever given me. Needing to feel wanted, I’d ignored my heart and listened instead to the nagging feeling that told me I’d never get Adam back, that this life was it.
“We didn’t have sex, but I was intimate with him.”
Adam huffs. That’s not what he wanted to hear, but it is what it is.
“When I broke things off, he responded by asking me to marry him. But there were …” I sigh. “Conditions.”
Adam’s breathing grows heavier. “What kind of conditions?”
“Max had always been small for his age, but then he missed milestones. Even before he started school it was obvious he needed extra help.” I lick my lips. “Eric wanted to find a special school for him to go to. One that could cater to his needs. He offered to pay for it all …”
“But you wouldn’t let him,” Adam whispers.
Tears prick my eyes. “Max was all I had. It didn’t matter what he needed—I had to make sure he had it while he was with me. He was all I had of you.”
Adam presses his lips to mine with so much tenderness, it just makes the tears worse. There can be no more words. What else is there to say?
Our little family is whole again. That is all I’ve ever wished for, even in the times I’d resented Adam for leaving, for not carrying any of the responsibility I’d had to. But I’d do it all over again if it meant Max had the same childhood, full of love and laughter.
What Eric wanted hadn’t mattered.
Max and I’d had each other, and that was everything. And now we both have Adam.
24
Adam
I swear my older brother is seven foot tall.
Corey stands in the doorway of Lily’s house, gawping as he runs his gaze up and down me as if he can’t quite believe what he’s seeing. For his part, he’s tanned and bearded, in his Swanndri and gumboots. “Adam?”
He’s been off hunting for part of the time I’ve been back, and completely unable to get hold of. The look on his face is worth it as he cracks a smile.
“The one and only. I’ve been trying to call you.”
“You and everyone else. I’m good at using the ‘delete all’ function on my answer phone.”
I step back to let him in, and we embrace, slapping one another on the back. Corey was the brother I was closest to growing up, the one who always took my side. Our last words to each other were harsh, but I hope that’s in the past.
“So, you’re back, and with Lily.” He pulls away and gives me a huge smile.
I nod. “There’s a lot I need to tell you.”
“Hold that thought.”
He heads back out to the ute, opening the rear door and pulling out a large container.
“I could kill a coffee. There’s some meat in the chilly bin for Lily.” He passes me as he comes in the front door and places the box in the hallway.
“Awesome. She’ll be stoked. I’ll go and start the coffee.”
He follows as I make my way into the kitchen. “It’s so good to see you. Are you back for good?”
“If things work out. Either way, I’m not living without Lily again.” I flick the switch on the jug.
Corey grins. “She was never the same without you. I wanted to get on a plane and smack you, but if Lily’s taken you back, she must be okay with what happened. We all took care of her.”
“So I’ve learned. Did you really think I’d decided to stay away? Knowing my own kid was back here?” The water boils, and I lean back on the bench.
Guilt sweeps his face. “I didn’t think so. It was really confusing. We had that argument and I knew you weren’t planning to come back. And then Mum said you were in the army and you had a girlfriend. I guess I thought you were being selfish, but I also got it. You guys were kids. We all were. None of us knew what responsibility really was. Some of us still don’t.”
“I didn’t know about Max. Mum kept it from me.”
I wish I could say my big brother’s surprised, but all he does is shrug and sit down at the table.
“That doesn’t shock you?” I drop teaspoons of coffee and sugar in our cups and pour the milk with some vague memory of Corey taking his coffee the same as mine.
“Owen caught me up. Do you remember what Mum and Dad were like when we were little? Dad had balls back then—he’d stand up to her. Something happened, Adam. Something killed him inside, and I’ve been trying to work it out what it is for ages.”
Pouring the water into the cups, I carry them to the table. “I have some vague memories.”
“She’s holding something over him. Has to be. He laughed when I asked him, but he doesn’t say boo unless she agrees to it.”
I sigh. “Nothing would surprise me. How did things get so screwed up? When I hit him up about it, he said there was more at stake than just Lily.”
Corey smiles. “Whatever it is, I’m glad you’re back. What do you think of Max? I thought I might offer to take him off Lily’s hands for the day.”
The back door opens and Max comes bounding in, followed by his mother with a basketful of laundry.
“Corey,” he shrieks, and runs around the table to sit beside him.
“Hey, Max. Lily. There’s a chilly bin full of meat by the front door.”
Lily places the basket of washing on a chair. “Thanks. It’s good to see you.”
“Great to see you guys. Especially this one.” He grips my shoulder. “I wondered if Max wanted to come and hang out with me for the rest of the day. I’m going to Owen’s to hang out and watch some movies.” He shifts his gaze to me. “I’d ask you too, but I have a feeling a day alon
e with the lovely Lily is probably more to your taste right now.”
Lily leans on my other shoulder. “Do you want to go, Max?”
He nods so hard I think his head might drop off. “I wonder if Owen will have some gingerbread men.”
“We’ll have to find out. I’ll just finish my coffee if you want to grab anything you need.” Corey grins.
“I don’t need anything. I’ve already got socks and shoes on from helping Mum.”
“Well, there you go.” Corey grins at us. “Enjoy your time alone, you two. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. I’ll bring him home around five so he’s back for dinner?”
Lily nods. “Sounds great. Max, you be good for Corey.”
“Yes, Mum.”
“Max is always good for me. He’s my little buddy, aren’t you?”
I smile at the easy relationship Corey and Max have, and yet I get pangs of jealousy. What Max and I have is special, but he’s had time to build that ease with Owen, Corey, and James.
It’ll take me a while to get over that.
Lily waves from the door until Corey’s car disappears from sight. It’s funny how Max wears her out, but the second they’re separated, it’s as if she’s no longer whole.
“As nice as it is to get a break, this place is so quiet without Max.” She walks back into the kitchen and toward the table where the coffee cups sit.
“It doesn’t have to be quiet. We can make our own noise.”
She laughs. “What are you suggesting?”
Picking up the cups, she takes them the short distance to the bench. I’m right behind her as she turns, and I press myself against her as she gasps. “You, me. Here.”
“Here?”
“We’re alone. I’m not very patient.”
Her breath quickens as she gazes at me, and she runs her fingers up my chest. Every touch only makes me want her more, and I can’t get enough.
“Now,” I growl, and her eyes widen. I spin her around and bend her over the kitchen table.
“Here?” she asks again.
“I’m not waiting.”
She lets out a joyful laugh as I reach around her waist and unzip her jeans, pushing them down to her ankles. Her body shakes and she pants staying still as I drop her panties right behind her jeans.
