Lost Girl

by Mary E. Twomey

  His arm tightened around me. “I’m here for you. I wanted to see what kind of a woman my prize turned into.” He studied the hail, seeing but not seeing it as he squinted through his pondering. “I like to think my blessings don’t ruin the world. Sentimental, I suppose. Seeing you? It gives me hope that my love doesn’t break beautiful things. Maybe now that I have you as proof, I won’t stay so far away this time.”

  “Oh, wow. That’s… Thanks for having faith in me. That’s a hefty compliment. True confessions?”

  “Well, they’re the best kind.”

  “I don’t totally know what I’m doing. I’m just trying to help out however Lane needs me to. I don’t really get all the politics going on. Lane wanted to give you back the gems after the provinces get a little time to heal, but Aunt Avril wants to return them to their regions to redeem the land and help the people. Is there a wrong choice in that? I don’t really know how to do the right thing in this world.”

  “I can’t tell you that. I can only say that I’ve not seen such measured and even thinking in a Daughter of Avalon in ages. I can see Lane’s mark of excellence and intelligence on you.”

  My head snapped to stare at him. I blinked in stunned amazement, emotion rising up in my throat. “You think I’m intelligent?”

  “I’m sure I can’t be the first to tell you that. Lane raised you well.”

  I swallowed hard at the compliment only Lane and Judah ever gave me. With my GPA, it wasn’t a label I often received. I cleared my throat. “Lane doesn’t really do failure, so I’ll be sure to pass along the compliment.”

  “Perhaps I’ll pay her a visit myself.”

  “That’s cool, but none of this freezing people’s hands in the wall nonsense around Lane. Seriously, dude.”

  Kerdik was unperturbed that Aunt Avril was still standing at the back of the cave with her hand frozen in the wall. “This is how I handle ungrateful pests.”

  “Cool ability, but you go after Lane like that, and you’ll see a whole other side of me.”

  “Is that so?” His tone sounded torn between bemused and threatening me not to try my hand at intimidating him.

  “Yeah. Mess with Lane, and I’ll straight up cry.”

  “You’ll cry?” he repeated, mocking my serious threat.

  “Yup. Fights amuse you, but genuine emotion seems to confuse you. Mess with Lane, and I’ll cry all over you. You’ll be soaked in tears, and you’ll be so uncomfortable, that you’ll wish you were never ever mean to her just to get me to knock it off.” I shot him half a smirk to let him know I was mostly joking.

  Kerdik laughed, and it sounded good rolling off his full lips. “Now that you’re back in Avalon, I don’t think I’ll stay away so much. You amuse me, Fleur.”

  “If you’re like most of my guy friends, you’re allergic to tears. So if you know what’s good for you, you’ll iron out your temper before you start making regular appearances. Otherwise…” I gave him an ominous look of warning, and then threw my head back, fake crying so loud, I made Roland jump.

  My theatrics gave birth to matching grins on Kerdik’s face and mine. “I admit, I’m surprised to find I don’t mind your company.”

  I don’t know why, but this made me laugh all over again. “Man, you suck at compliments. Just say, ‘Rosie, you’re the coolest chic I know,’ not ‘I’m shocked I don’t hate being around you.’”

  “‘Rosie’? You don’t go by your given name?”

  “Nah. My friends call me Rosie.”

  “And I’m your friend?”

  I blinked at him, smiling. “Well, you could always be my puppy, but thanks to your blessing, I’ve got plenty of those. And you certainly haven’t earned the title of ‘Dancing King’ yet. I think ‘friend’ is the label you should go by.”

  Kerdik moved his arm from around me so he could play with my fingers, examining the differences in the tones of our skin. He seemed starved for touch. I couldn’t imagine spending so many years away from everybody, isolated and alone. His smile started in his chest from the warmth that had survived in his heart, and then blossomed out onto his face when he looked at me. “Friends, then. I rather like the sound of that, Rosie.”

  31

  The Fun in Not Being Careful

  Kerdik clicked his fingers and sent out a fire that burned in a neat foot-thick row just outside the cave when I shivered again. The flames held, despite the torrential rain. The others were still in the back of the cave, but they weren’t as rigid as before. Roland stood next to Aunt Avril, since she couldn’t sit, and Bastien and Madigan reclined near the horses, who’d tucked themselves in the far corner from Kerdik. Kerdik and I sat in our huddle together for hours, watching the hail and commenting on the oddly-shaped balls that caught our eyes. There were whole handfuls of comfortable silence where we let the magic of nature lull us with its spell of solace.

  When the hail finally stopped beating the earth, a slop and slush sound reached my ears over the rain. “What’s that noise? It sounds like a ketchup bottle farting.”

  “What? The leeches are falling. They’ll reach us soon enough.” Kerdik motioned to his fire when I stiffened at the reminder that we weren’t just shooting the breeze, that there was actual danger out there that was still coming. “Not to worry. They won’t cross fire.”

  “Oh, that’s a relief. Thanks for keeping us safe. Truly. We didn’t have a solid plan.” I listened to make sure the hail had stopped. “Do I have time to run out and grab a chunk of hail before the leeches come our way?”

  “You do, but you won’t.” He snapped his fingers without looking at the men. “Bring her a ball of hail. The larger the better.”

  I stood, unwilling to let that kind of nonsense fly. I held up my hand to save Bastien’s pride, so he didn’t feel the need to go running when someone snapped their fingers. I couldn’t even picture that, and didn’t want to. “I got it. Anyone else want one?”

  Aunt Avril shook her head. “Be careful, Rosalie.” Her warning had many layers to it as she stared into my eyes across the way.

  Kerdik stood beside me, frustrated that I wasn’t living up to my queenly parentage. “You’ll stay right here and let one of your protectors go fetch one for you. Perhaps your future Guardien.”

  “Bastien’s my friend, not my servant, and I don’t even know Madigan. Neither of them are my Guardien. My lueur’s tucked safe in my gut, where it belongs.” I patted my abdomen. “I can take care of myself just fine.”

  Kerdik’s frown of consternation was actually kind of precious. “I don’t want you running out in the rain. You could slip and fall.”

  I chuckled at the sweetness. “But you just fixed my ankle for me. It’s good as new.” I sighed when he still looked hesitant. I didn’t want him to get worked up and glue my feet to the earth or something. “If you’re so worried, then come with me. Hurry, though. I don’t want to get my brain sucked by the leeches.” I unbuttoned Bastien’s shirt and walked over to hand it to him so I didn’t get it wet. His eyes were wide with shock at our exchange, but he said nothing more than warning me with his gaze to be careful.

  Kerdik looked around at the massive display of nature and held out his hand to me. “Quickly, though. I won’t have you losing your mind just to have a trinket to hold.” With his palm outstretched toward the ground, he mimed for the fire to sit, as if it was a dog, eager to obey its master. A two-foot-wide space cleared for us, permitting us safe passage out into the storm.

  “Let’s go, then!” I all but dragged him out into the thick rain before he could overthink the fun. I was soaked to the skin in seconds. The water pelted us so hard, I swear I could feel the welts forming on my arms. I scoured the area for the perfect piece of hail, and finally found one that looked about right. “That one!” I pulled Kerdik over, laughing when I slipped in the mud and he caught me.

  “Be careful, Rosie!” he admonished me.

  “Why? Where’s the fun in being careful? How am I supposed to teach you how to bowl without a bo
wling ball? That one’s perfect.” I scampered over to the ball of hail that was the right shape and size, and hefted it up with a loud “oof!” I hadn’t been expecting it to be quite so heavy.

  We stumbled back to the safety of the cave, laughing and shivering when I dropped the ball on the floor. “That’s it? That’s the one you wanted? I could’ve made you that,” Kerdik pointed out, his grin wider than ever at our little adventure. The rain sparkled on his lashes, adding nuance and cuteness to everything he did.

  “Huh? You can make bowling balls?”

  He blew out a loud raspberry, his hands on his knees as we both bent over to catch our breath and admire our prize. “I’m an elemental warlock! I can form things out of ice easily. We didn’t have to soak ourselves for your treasure.”

  I chucked his shoulder. “Sure, but now I know what you look like when you’re having fun. I think you needed this bowling ball more than I did. Wasn’t that fun?”

  Kerdik’s smile of surprise at my logic was positively adorable. “It was. You’re right; I haven’t laughed like that in ages.” His smile stopped and his eyes grew earnest. He straightened and reached out with both hands to cup my shoulders. “In absolute ages, Fleur.”

  “Your majesty, the leeches!” Roland cried out, pointing to the mouth of the cave with wide eyes.

  “Of course.” Kerdik didn’t even look at the threat, but roared his fire higher, and spread it out in a line to cover the whole front of the cave.

  I heard a sizzle and pop, followed by a miniscule cry that sound like a deflating balloon. I grimaced. “Oh! Was that a leech?”

  “Indeed. Sit with me, darling. Tell me more about your dinosaurs and bowling. Tell me everything, and make me feel as if I was there.”

  “You really shouldn’t ask me to tell you about Jeff Goldblum movies. He’s only the greatest actor in the universe. I think it’s because he’s so tall and dreamy, while also being a little awkward. Gives the rest of us weirdos hope that we too can fight our very own dinosaurs.”

  The next few hours were spent with the others whispering on their side of the cave while Kerdik asked all sorts of questions about my life with Lane. He wanted to know the basics, of course, but also the details of the things that made me smile. For the villain everyone painted him as, Kerdik was actually pretty great. We shot the breeze until my eyes started drooping, and a yawn caught me. It felt like it was nearing on three in the morning or so.

  “Ah, you’ve used too much magic today.”

  The firelight illuminated the sky-blue notes of his hair that stuck out from his hat, warming us while the storm continued to rage just outside. “It’s pretty normal for me. I’m not sleeping like I need to on these treks, though. I think it’s all catching up with me.”

  “Would you like me to make a room where you can sleep more privately?”

  I shrugged, impressed he had that kind of magic on tap. “Uh, is that something you can do?”

  “Of course. I made this structure easily enough.” He glanced over his shoulder and barked so his voice would carry over the wind, the rain, the screaming leeches and fire. “You, Brownie. Your charge requires rest. Where do you post yourself when she’s vulnerable?”

  Bastien stood, his arms behind his back and chest puffed like a true soldier. “Right next to her, your majesty. I won’t leave while she rests.”

  “Very good. If something should happen upon her while she sleeps, whose head shall be removed and tossed around like one of her bowling balls?”

  Bastien didn’t even flinch. “Mine, your majesty.”

  I gave Kerdik a light shove. “Oh, knock it off. No need to threaten Bastien. I’m not his charge, I already told you. You should learn to get along with people, especially Bastien. He’s a good guy. You’ll like him, once you stop threatening to tear his head off. You two should spend some time together tomorrow.”

  Kerdik quirked his eyebrow at me. “Do you assume I’ll still be here when you wake? Do you think I’ll be around long enough to foster a fondness for your friends?”

  My face fell, but I tried to recover enough of my “whatever” expression to disguise my disappointment. I liked hanging out with Kerdik when he wasn’t being a bossy tyrant. He didn’t seem to have as many of the “boys on this side, girls on the other side” hang-ups. Having had mostly dude friends my whole life, I missed the uncomplicated camaraderie. “Oh. I didn’t realize you’d be gone when I woke up. I can stay awake a little longer. Let’s keep talking.”

  Something tender and precious swept across Kerdik’s chartreuse features. “You wish me to stay? You want me to be here when you wake?”

  I shrugged. “I mean, you don’t have to. I’m sure you’ve got more important things to do. I was being selfish. Go do your thing.”

  Kerdik wrapped his arms around me in a hug I could tell he wasn’t well-versed in. It took a few seconds, but eventually I sunk into his chest, leaning my head to his shoulder while our curled-up legs knocked together. He kissed the top of my hair, and then lifted my palm to press his lips into the center. “If it’s me you want to see when you wake, then it’s me you shall have, my dear.”

  A sweet smile lifted the corner of my mouth at the grand nature of his affection. “It’s nice being friends with you.”

  “It’s nice being around a woman who doesn’t ask me for use of my magic.”

  “But you’ve used a ton of your magic on us already.” I winced. “Sorry if that makes you feel used. I really don’t want that.”

  “Nonsense, my girl. I gave you shelter and kept the leeches away because I wanted to keep you safe. You didn’t actually ask me for any of that. You’ll see that I give grand gifts that don’t turn sour at all – that is, when people are grateful.” He shot a glare over his shoulder at Aunt Avril, who scowled against the back wall.

  “Oh, well hopefully our next adventure is less harrowing, and more bowling and watching movies about dinosaurs.” I stood, brushed my jeans off, and offered my hand to him to yank him up.

  He seemed perplexed by the simple gesture, but finally took my hand, rising up to stand before me, taking in my features with confusion he didn’t bother hiding. “I would love nothing more.” He kissed the back of my hand like a gentleman, drawing out a blush at making me feel like a lady. He chuckled at my shyness. “Oh, now. Don’t do that. You’re far too lovely. Adding a blush to your cheeks? It’s unfair.”

  My neck shrank, my chin dipping down as I touched the back of my hand to my cheek to cool it. “Okay, okay. Enough with the gentleman stuff. It totally throws me.”

  “Sleep well, Fleur. I’ll be here when you wake, and I’ll watch over our fortress while you sleep.”

  “Thank you. And hey, don’t threaten anyone while I’m sleeping. Be the guy I like, not the scary one they pee their pants in front of. Dancing King, not Destroyer.”

  “I shall do my utmost, darling.” His eyes shifted to Bastien in a silent threat. “Stand back against that far wall away from the others next to Fleur. I need to make a room for her so she has privacy. A princess shouldn’t display vulnerability out in the open.”

  “Yes, your majesty.” Bastien and I obeyed, moving away from everyone and pressing our backs to the stone, looking across the cave at the members of our little group. Though I knew it was coming, I still squeaked when a sheet of solid rock shot up out of the earth. It cut us off from the others by forming our own little room, separating us from the rest of the group.

  The fire stretched in front of our narrow doorway that looked out onto the wheat field. The flicker danced on Bastien’s expression, which finally gave way to the terror he’d been choking on since Kerdik came into our lives. “We’re leaving at first sign of the storm letting up, so fall asleep quick, Rosie,” he whispered firmly.

  “Yes, boss.” I closed my eyes and started snoring, pretending to fall asleep upright. I peeked at him to see if he’d cracked a smile yet, but he was too worried to joke around. I waited for him to sit down in the narrow space before I laid
on the ground, shifting until I found a comfortable spot. My body ached anew when it finally was given hope of turning off for a few hours. “You alright, chief?”

  “No. Nothing about this is alright.” He lowered his voice further, but I couldn’t hear him over the storm.

  “Huh?”

  When he repeated himself too many times, he grew frustrated and climbed over my legs, shifting my body so he could lie next to me. He rolled me on my side and spooned me, his lips tickling the shell of my ear. “Kerdik is the most dangerous creature in Avalon, but you treat him like he’s a girlfriend coming over for tea.”

  “Would you rather I cowered?”

  “No. But it’s messing me up to see you so close to him. I mean, we all still have our heads, so at least there’s that. Tread lightly, Rosie. Kerdik is feared for a reason.”

  “I know. I get it. I’ll be more afraid in the morning, okay? I’ll put it in my day planner.”

  Bastien leaned down and kissed my cheek. “Glad to hear you’re taking me seriously.” He exhaled, dosing me in a heavy gust of his Christmasy-cinnamon scent. “I’m sorry about Roland.”

  “Not for nothing, but I wouldn’t let Judah talk about you the way you let Roland run me down. That sucked, Bastien. You should’ve had my back from the beginning. I’m only on this journey because of you. Roland wouldn’t have tried to hurt me if you’d laid down the law earlier on.”

  “You’re right. No excuses. I think I was just so thrown by it all, and I didn’t handle it right. I’m sorry. I’ll be firmer with him in the morning, and I won’t leave your side. You’re doing us the favor with the jewels and whatnot. You shouldn’t have to be afraid you’ll be attacked.” He cleared his throat. “I mean, I can’t be with you the way I want to in public.” He ran his hand over my arm, squeezing my bicep. “If I wasn’t promised to Rachelle, I would be yours without a blink. I keep trying to push you away by turning mean, but it kills me a little bit every time. If you hated me, that would be easier.”