Cullen unbuttoned the waistband of her jeans. He tugged down on the zipper. The teeth of the zipper released. This wasn’t so hard. He glimpsed a patch of pink lace.
His groin tightened. He jerked his hand away.
They might be soon-to-be divorced and she might be the last woman in the world he should want to be with, but that did nothing to lessen his attraction. His reaction had nothing to do with being celibate for nearly a year. It was Sarah. No one else had ever made him feel like this.
He liked that. Liked how she’d held his hand tonight as he talked about Blaine. Liked how she trusted him to help her in spite of all his failures.
“It’s okay. I’ve got it,” she mumbled.
Suck it up, Gray. Any fool could see she was exhausted. He needed to think about her, not himself. “Go back to sleep. I’ll take care of it.”
That was the least he could do.
Cullen pulled her jeans over the curve of her hips and down her thighs. His hand touched her skin. He ignored the sparks arcing through his fingertips with each brush and slid the jeans all the way off.
Sarah lay on the bed. Her eyes closed. Her lips parted.
Cullen wondered what she dreamed about. Him? If only...
He wanted to crawl into bed next to her and hold her, not only until the sun came up, but...forever. He yearned for the future he’d dreamed of having with her. But that wasn’t what she wanted. Even if she did, it might not be the best thing for her. He didn’t know how to act or how to be more open. But maybe with Sarah’s help, he could learn....
CHAPTER TEN
SUNLIGHT WARMED SARAH’S face. She opened her eyes. Light flooded the room through the open blinds. Usually she closed them before she went to bed.
But last night hadn’t been usual. Cullen had opened up to her in a way she’d never expected. He’d given her medicine and removed her jeans. But no good-night kiss or even a peck on the forehead.
Sarah had been...disappointed. She chalked up the reaction to exhaustion. The last things she needed were any more kisses.
She shrugged on her robe, tied the strap as best as she could and walked out of her room. She had no idea whether Hannah, Leanne or Zoe would be here this morning. Sarah had a feeling Bill wouldn’t be back.
She entered the living room.
“Good morning,” Bill said, holding on to a ream of paper.
She did a double take. “You’re babysitting me today?”
“Nope, I am.” Cullen sat on the floor next to a leather recliner working on a printer.
Sarah looked around the living room filled with cords and boxes, the chair and a table she’d never seen before. “What’s going on?”
Bill grinned as if he’d eaten three canaries and two parrots. “You know how your head hurts and arm aches when you work on your laptop?”
She knew the feelings all too well. “Yes.”
“Well, we had a great idea—”
“We?” Cullen asked.
The firefighter winked. “Doc had the idea to set up a more comfortable workstation for you.”
“You can print pages if the screen gives you a headache,” Cullen said.
She covered her mouth with her hands. “This is...”
His gaze met hers. “Not exactly the definition of fun.”
“It’s mine.” She studied the oversize leather recliner. “Where did the chair come from?”
He motioned his head toward Bill. “Paulson is good for a few things.”
“A lot of things, if you happen to be a lovely lady.” Bill ran his fingertips along the buttery leather. “This is my favorite chair. It’s yours for as long as you need it.”
“Thank you,” Sarah said. “Thanks to both of you. But you shouldn’t have gone to so much trouble.”
Cullen stood. “You need more to do than sleep and walk. Some data analysis won’t hurt you if you don’t overdo it.”
Sarah couldn’t believe he’d listened to what she’d said yesterday when they’d spoken about going to Taco Night and done something about it. Something so wonderful.
Her heart swelled with joy. Maybe Cullen had changed. Heaven knew he kept surprising her with each passing day. “I can’t wait to get to work.”
He brushed his hands together. “Breakfast first.”
“What are we having?” Bill asked.
“Omelets and bacon, but I need to run to the store for more eggs.”
“I’ll go,” Bill said, then took off.
She wanted to kiss Cullen and not only with kisses of gratitude. Her heart lodged itself in her throat. “Thank you.”
“Your work’s important. This will make things easier on you.”
And be the perfect distraction. She needed something to keep her from throwing herself into his arms and smothering his gorgeous face with kisses. “Are you working tonight?”
“Nope. I’m caught up on the shifts I missed,” he said. “I got lucky. I only missed four shifts while I was away.”
She looked at Bill’s chair and the table with the printer. Cullen had set up everything on the left-hand side. A rush of affection infused her. “I feel lucky myself.”
Last night everything in her world had seemed wrong. Today it felt oh-so-right. Sarah couldn’t believe he’d gone to so much trouble. Her heart stumbled.
“It can’t be easy having me here, but I appreciate everything you’re doing and have done.” She couldn’t change what had happened in the past, but she was speaking from the heart now. Cullen was her Prince Charming, and she felt like a princess. Albeit a bruised and battered one, but a princess nonetheless. And this might be the closest she ever got to a happy ending. “I hope you know that.”
His satisfied smile settled on his lips and spread to his twinkling blue eyes. “I do now.”
* * *
Over the next week, Sarah slept less and worked more. Interpreting data gave her a sense of purpose and kept her from thinking about Cullen. Okay, thinking about him too much. She still dreamed about him and occasionally thought about him kissing her. Thankfully he didn’t again.
No matter how compelling the fairy tale was, Sarah knew better than to buy into it again. Others shared true love’s kiss and found a happily-ever-after. Not her. She needed to stay focused.
But being with Cullen made it easy to forget her goal wasn’t to settle into a comfortable routine here. There might be room for her at the cabin, but there wasn’t room in his life. A few conversations didn’t make up for all the times he hadn’t wanted to talk to her. His kind gestures touched her, but they didn’t change anything. She needed to get back to Mount Baker, back to the institute, back to her life.
And that was what she intended to do.
Today was her first day alone, a big step on her road to a full recovery. She was enjoying her first taste of independence since the accident. Oh, she’d missed the smell of coffee when she woke and conversations with her friends. But this was what she needed in order to return to Bellingham.
After eating lunch, Sarah downloaded files from MBVI’s server. She studied a data stream her boss wanted her to check. The seismometer appeared to be working properly. She’d looked at enough of these squiggly lines to know the difference between ice movement and data glitches, but something didn’t make sense. Magma shouldn’t move without generating more specific seismic signals. At least, she’d never seen that before.
Sarah opened a new tab on her browser and checked a website listing the many earthquakes that occurred daily in the Pacific Northwest. She scratched her head. “What am I missing here?”
“Me?”
A bevy of butterflies took flight, turning her stomach into a crowded butterfly house. She had missed him, even if she shouldn’t.
As he walked toward her, his aquamarine polo s
hirt seemed to change the shade of his blue eyes, reminding her of Los Tenideros in Costa Rica’s Tenorio Volcano National Park, where two different-colored rivers merge. She’d traveled there after receiving her PhD and before starting at MBVI. She’d hoped the trip would heal the wound from her aborted marriage. Hadn’t worked. She now wondered if anything could do that.
Sarah couldn’t believe how good it was to see Cullen. A part of her wanted to fling herself into his arms, which would be a really stupid thing to do. She remained seated.
He smiled, a wide smile showing off straight white teeth and crinkling the corners of his eyes. He looked gorgeous. Even more so than usual.
She gripped her laptop. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
“That’s what happens when you’re concentrating.”
His tone teased, but he was right. She’d lost herself in her work and forgotten about everything else. She could lose herself in Cullen if she wasn’t careful. “I may be trying too hard.”
He stood next to her, looking over her shoulder. “Head hurt?”
His concern warmed her like a fleece blanket. All she’d wanted was to be special to him. But he cared about everyone’s well-being, not just hers. That was one reason he’d become a doctor. He’d mentioned Blaine as the other. She hadn’t understood why until last week. Cullen might not have been able to save his twin brother, but he was doing his best to save others. “My head is fine. The data is causing me problems.”
“Wrong?”
“Data is data. It can’t be wrong. But my interpretation might be off,” she admitted. “Things are inconclusive right now. I have a suspicion I may have started with too many preconceived notions.”
He leaned forward, putting his hand on her shoulder. His male scent wrapped around her. His heat enveloped her. “Why do you think that?”
Cullen sounded interested, as if he really wanted to know what she was thinking. Tenderness and affection and attraction exploded in her chest. She glanced at the graph, trying to ignore her racing pulse, the pooling of desire, the longing for connection squeezing her tight. “Well...”
The numbers and lines blurred. She blinked. Everything was still fuzzy. Her head didn’t hurt. It wasn’t her concussion. All she could think about, all she wanted to see was...
Cullen.
Her heart pounded as hard as the surf ramming against the coast of Hawaii’s Big Island.
Oh, no. She was falling for him.
Realization nearly bowled her over. Not quite the same explosive force of five hundred atomic bombs detonating as had marked the Mount Saint Helens eruption, but enough to send a chunk of molten lava crashing to the bottom of her stomach and taking up permanent residence there.
Sarah struggled to breathe. Whatever happened, she couldn’t fall all the way. That would be catastrophic.
“Sarah?”
“I—I thought my gut instinct was correct.” She forced words past the constriction in her throat. “I’ve been looking at data to support a hypothesis. Not looking at the data with an open mind.”
Similar to what she’d done falling for him.
He sat on the couch. “It’s not too late to go back over it.”
“I’m sure I can remedy this.”
Because she knew exactly where she’d gone wrong. Tucker wanted her back at the institute ASAP. He’d mentioned it again during their phone call this morning. She should have left by now. But she had stayed trying to work the data so she wouldn’t have to go back.
Talk about stupid. She could be the poster child for the movement.
“Sarah?”
“Sorry.” If she weren’t careful he’d think she’d suffered another head injury. “I’m...frustrated.”
She had a job to do. A responsibility to the institute. She’d messed up her analysis. Not to mention allowing her feelings for Cullen to...deepen.
“Hey, don’t look so sad. It’ll be okay.” He touched her hand. “Cut yourself some slack. You’re still recovering.” He rubbed her hand. His calloused thumb made circles on her skin, leaving a trail of heat and tingles. “You’ve been working too hard.”
Not hard enough. Sarah had become too distracted. She’d disregarded known facts and allowed herself to be caught up in a fantasy. Time to stop with the daydreams and focus on reality.
Cullen might not act the same as he had a year ago, but she hadn’t changed. Even if he was willing to give marriage another shot, the outcome would be the same. He would abandon her like everyone else in her life.
Sarah had to be strong. She squared her shoulders. “What are you doing home? I thought you would be at Timberline Lodge all day.”
Amusement twinkled in his eyes. “Look out the window.”
Big, fluffy snowflakes fell from the sky. “When did it start snowing?”
“A couple of hours ago,” he said. “Hughes, Paulson and Moreno are out there now.”
“Go join them.” And let her try to save face, do her job correctly and get him out of her head and heart again.
Cullen continued to rub her hand. “I can do that another day. I wanted to see how you were doing.”
A warm and fuzzy feeling trickled through her.
Pathetic.
Sarah should be immune to him, not reacting like a lovesick teen to every word he said. She tilted her chin. “I’m doing well.”
“Well, but frustrated.”
He was part of her frustration. That gave her an idea. “You’ve been working hard. You need a break.”
“You’re the one who needs a break. Time away from the data so you can relax.”
Time away from Cullen to clear her head. That might do the trick. She closed her laptop. “Sounds good. I’ll take a nap. Grab your board and join your friends.”
“I have a better idea. Let’s take a break together.”
Her heart rate resembled the data she’d been looking at. Inconsistent and all over the place. “Don’t waste your free time on me.”
“I’d rather enjoy it with you.”
Sarah melted. She couldn’t help it. She should decline politely. But the words wouldn’t come. Not when her heart was clamoring so loudly it drowned out all sense of self-preservation.
Mischief, as worrisome as a ticking bomb, glinted in his eyes. “I know what we can do. Are you up to checking out Main Street with me?”
Temptation exploded with enough force to do significant damage. Sarah wanted to spend time with him. Be with him. She might regret this. Who was she kidding? She would regret this. But she didn’t care. “I’m up for it.”
As long as Cullen would be with her, she was up for anything.
* * *
Half an hour later, Cullen strolled down Main Street with Sarah at his side. She spun to see all the shops and sights. Her excitement added a bounce to his step.
A layer of snow clung to her black parka and colorful wool beanie. The cold air turned her cheeks a cute pink. She looked pretty and, most important, healthy. “This was just what I needed.”
“Doctor knows best.” That was why he’d suggested this. Her health.
Yeah, right.
He’d been counting the hours—minutes—until he could be with her. She was on his mind constantly when he was away from her. When he was with her, too. “I have a surprise for you.”
She rose on her tiptoes. “I love surprises.”
Her excitement pleased Cullen. Seeing her upset earlier with a life-as-she-knew-it-was-over expression on her face had made him feel as if he’d failed her somehow. He was relieved she was more like her old self, up for fun and adventure with him. “You’ll like this one.”
Friends greeted him from across the street. Cullen waved.
“Are you planning to stay in Hood Hamlet permanently?” Sarah asked.
“Yes,” he said. “My lease on the cabin is up next month. I might sign another year lease or go month-to-month awhile. I’m considering buying a place.”
“That’s a big step.”
True, but owning a house had always been part of his plan. So had a wife and kids.... He glanced at Sarah and pushed the thought from his mind. “I like living here. It’s a buyer’s market.”
“Strike while the iron is hot.”
“Not quite.” Cullen had learned his lesson by rushing into marriage. He jammed his hands into his jacket pockets. “I need to do more research first.”
“What if you miss out on the perfect house?”
He’d thought Sarah was the perfect woman.
But that hadn’t worked out the way he hoped. He didn’t want to think about that today. “Then I’ll wait for the next perfect place to come on the market.”
Her gaze met his. “We’re so different.”
Understatement of the year. “We had some good times together in spite of our differences.”
She nodded. “More good than bad.”
Then why had she asked for a divorce? The question echoed through his head. But he knew the answer.
Sarah didn’t love him. Oh, she’d never said those exact words when she’d brought up a divorce. She’d told him he deserved better. She’d told him to find another wife who could give him all he wanted.
All what? He’d had no idea what she’d been talking about. He’d wanted only her.
She glanced into the coffee shop. A customer exited. The scents of freshly baked cookies and coffee beans drifted out the open door. “No wonder everyone around here is so active. You need to burn off calories from all this delicious-smelling food.”
“You figured out our motivation.” Cullen played along. “The more time we spend on the mountain, the more we can eat without guilt.”
“When have you ever felt guilty about eating?”
“At the hospital. When you couldn’t,” he admitted.
Sarah’s gaze softened. “You’re so sweet.”
Winning Back His Wife Page 14
