Nate’s approval mattered to me, more than I’d realized. My desire for him was . . . not as uncomplicated as I’d like. “You’re good with people, with making them feel confidence in us. And I’m better with figures and innovation.” I held up my hand as he started to protest. “I’m being realistic. Yes, I’ve focused on products that are long shots, but I believe they are worth the time. I also want Kingston to make money, preferably a lot of it.”
“I’m not an idiot. My head’s not so far in the clouds that I think we can stay afloat and not make a profit. We can’t change the world if we go bankrupt, but I don’t want to step on people in that process.”
I ran a hand over my hair. “I know you think I’m a bastard for putting profit first.”
Nate shook his head. “You’re nowhere near as unfeeling as your father thought. He didn’t know you any better than you knew him.”
“But you do?”
“I . . . Well, a little.”
I wanted him to know me better, but that was dangerous territory filled with inconvenient feelings. “Okay. Back to Kingston. Our marketing sucks.”
Nate nodded. “I agree.”
“Huh, there’s one thing we don’t have to argue about.”
“I also believe Kingston is worth saving.”
“That’s two.”
He unbuttoned his sleeves and rolled them back. I couldn’t stop myself from watching. Did he have to be so fucking gorgeous? I wanted him again, badly, but a third thing we agreed on was that we shouldn’t fuck again, so I wasn’t going to bring that up.
He glanced up. Our eyes met. And he held my gaze, watching me like he was trying to read my deepest thoughts.
I looked away and cleared my throat. “Um . . . maybe we can find more we agree on.”
“Yes, I believe we can.”
Like how we actually did want to fuck again. And again after that. I couldn’t help but wonder what he had on under his suit. Panties? Would they be pink like before or red or . . . Was there any color he’d look bad in?
What was wrong with me? My father had sent me a load of passive-aggressive guilt from beyond the grave, Kingston Corp. was in sad shape, and all I could think about was what was covering Nate’s ass. Maybe I really was as useless as my father had assumed.
Nate and I spent most of the next day working through the plan he’d written and I’d edited. By late afternoon, I was exhausted, frustrated, and I’d done all the compromising I could stand for one day, for one lifetime maybe.
I threw my pen onto my desk and focused on Nate. “How do you do it? How do you sit there and act so calm?”
He shrugged. “I’m not calm. Inside I’m fucking terrified. But I’m not wound as tight as you.”
I nodded. “I’ve always been like this, even before I knew the extent of Kingston’s problems. I just need to be in control.”
“I’ve noticed.” Nate studied me for a few moments, but instead of more sarcasm, he pointed at one of the many pages of our plan. “What if we consolidated this team from Household Products into Research? Couldn’t Corporate Research do all their testing and innovation?”
“Probably, considering the current size of the business.” They’d scaled down to less than half the size they were when Kingston took off in the 1970s. “But it will mean laying people off.”
Nate nodded. “There are some low performers there.”
“And you’ll agree to offering them a package?”
“I don’t like it, but it needs to be done. I know we can’t keep everyone, not if we want to keep paying decent salaries. Speaking of which, we could lower our own pay.”
I nodded. “Yes, we should.” I could see the surprise on his face when I agreed without an argument. “It’ll be good for morale to see that, and it’s not like I need anywhere near as much as I make now, but what about you?”
“No one needs what I’m making.”
“What if . . .” I could hardly bring myself to say it. “Things don’t work out with Kingston?” A knot formed in my stomach and my chest tightened. I was surprised I’d even gotten the words out.
“I have a lot saved. Really, it’s absurd how much I make. I have no clue how to spend it all.”
“If you need help, I can give you some suggestions.”
He laughed. “I’m sure you can.”
We worked our way down the list of potential layoffs and spending cuts, actually agreeing on over half of them. We made a list of ones to argue over later.
“I think that’s enough for today,” Nate said, and glancing at my phone, I realized it was past what most people considered the end of the work day.
I sighed. “All we’ve done is find ways to cut our spending. We’ve not made a plan to generate more revenue and that’s vital. It’s the whole piece my dad didn’t see. You can’t just spend less. Sometimes you even have to invest heavily to make products that will be big earners.”
“Just not so much you go under or on things that are pie in the sky.”
I snorted. “Not all my ideas are crazy.”
Nate smiled. “No, but we can’t plan our product model around the ones that are an enormous stretch.”
“Then what do we do?”
“Go home, get some sleep, and come back tomorrow.”
“I hate how fucking reasonable you are.”
He narrowed his eyes, studying me, and I liked the attention. “I think what you hate is having to admit that you’re not reasonable.”
I shook my head. “I’ve never claimed to be reasonable. I expect things done my way.”
“And your way is best?”
“Usually, but you’ve made me concede a few points.”
Nate grinned. “Maybe I’ll get you to concede more tomorrow.”
You could get me to concede my ass if you really tried. I wanted to kiss him, to strip him, to get on my knees and suck him off right there in my office but . . . What was even worse was that I wanted to please him, to make him like me rather than just not hate me. And that meant I shouldn’t sleep with him again. Mixing work and fucking was bad enough, adding emotion to that was absolutely a no go. I needed to stay focused on the business. I was just going to have to forget the way looking at him made my heart race.
I shoved things into my briefcase, needing to put some distance between us so I wouldn’t do anything foolish like asking him out, even if it was just to dinner and not necessarily for sex. Shit. I was in deep trouble.
“Adam.”
I glanced up. “What?”
“Turn around.”
“What? Why?”
“Please.”
I couldn’t refuse him, not with that earnest look on his face.
Nate settled his hands on my shoulders and I tensed, trying to find the strength to say no.
“Easy. I get that you don’t want a repeat of the other day. But you’re so goddamn tense, the way you hold yourself, your neck and shoulders must ache. Let me help.”
I sucked at accepting help from anyone, and Nate . . .
He pressed his thumbs in at the base of my neck and I lost my train of thought. I almost lost my ability to stand. He began to work my knotted muscles and I groaned. “Fuck, that feels good.”
“Mm-hmm.”
His long-fingered hands moved expertly, his touch firm, reassuring, delicious though not overtly sexual.
“Jesus, Adam, how long has it been since you had a massage?”
“Forever.”
“Yeah, it feels like it.”
“No, really, I’ve never had a massage—not a professional one anyway.”
“Why the fuck not? It’s not like you can’t afford them.”
“I don’t like strangers touching me.” I stepped forward, out of his reach. His touch was making me want a lot more, but I’d sworn I wouldn’t go there again.
“You want me to stop?” he asked. His words were soft and serious when he could have mocked me.
“No, I’m fine.” I looked away out the window.
> “I’m still just offering to loosen you up. I get that you don’t want anything else.”
I snorted. “No, you don’t get it. I want everything else.”
I heard his sharp intake of breath. Had he thought I was telling the fucking truth, that after the best fuck of my life I could simply stop wanting him? Surely he’d learned what a good bullshitter I was by now.
I took a deep breath and faced him. “I want you as badly as I did the other night.” Worse, if I were honest.
He watched me, his chest rising and falling rapidly. I refused to allow myself to look down, because I didn’t need to know if he was as hard as I was.
One of us needed to speak. I didn’t want him to misunderstand, to think that anything was actually going to happen, because that would be disastrous, since Nate’s gentle concern made me feel a whole lot more than lust. “The fact that I want you so much, that’s why I can’t have you touching me.”
“You can’t have a little and not want it all?”
“No, I’m far too spoiled.” I looked away as if something out the window needed my attention. I couldn’t bear the sight of his beautiful face anymore. It was taking all my willpower to deny myself what I wanted, and I’d never been accused of having much to begin with.
When he didn’t speak for several moments, I did. “You can’t honestly think that me— You— Us— That continuing what we started would be a good idea.”
“Good idea? Maybe not. But I want you anyway.”
“I thought you always did the right thing.”
“Just because I don’t like to fuck over my employees doesn’t mean I’m some goody-goody. You saw me at the club the other night, didn’t you?”
I nodded. Had I ever. Once I’d seen him on the dance floor, grinding up against another man, I hadn’t been able to look anywhere else.
“So stop assuming you know so much about me,” Nate said.
“And what, spend time quizzing you on your life history?”
“Maybe. It sure as hell would be better than the shit way you usually treat me.”
“I’ve been doing my fucking best today.”
Nate held up both hands. “Today is an exception.”
He gently laid his hands back on my shoulders. I could have pulled away but I didn’t, because as soon as he touched me, all I could think about was my first glimpse of lace peeking over his too-tight jeans. And his plump pink lips around my cock.
He squeezed hard, digging deep into my stiff muscles. It hurt, but in a good way.
“If you don’t want me to do this for you, then go to a professional. It’s not good for you to stay this tense.”
“It’s not too late for you to decide to sell me your shares. Then I wouldn’t have to be so tense.”
“You’re bullshitting me again.”
“Look at you learning how to read me.”
He ignored my sass. “Would you really be better off on your own, shouldering all of this?”
“Yes.” He dug his fingers in hard, making me groan. “No.”
“Then we’re just going to have to work together.”
How was I supposed to work with him when every time I looked at him I wanted to get on my knees, unzip his pants, and find out what he was wearing under them? And—I swallowed hard—have him hold me afterward.
I shook him off. “I’m going home to rest up for another session of compromise-a-rama tomorrow.”
“In other words you’re going home to get drunk and try to forget that any of this—your father, the financial crisis, me—ever happened.”
“Right.”
He picked up his executive backpack and his helmet. Bike-riding do-gooder. “Have a good night.”
“I think you know that’s unlikely.”
“Call Valerie if you need someone. I know you won’t call me.”
If I did, I’d have him naked in my bed as fast as I could. “Okay. Fine. Just go.”
With a sad smile, he did.
I had to stop myself from calling him back. Even though I wanted him so bad it hurt.
That evening, I lay on my couch staring at the ceiling, contemplating the things Nate did well and how to use them. Business things, not sexual things. Well, I contemplated those too, but they weren’t helping me solve any problems. I had a movie on, but it had become background noise.
As I reached for the remote to turn it off, my phone buzzed, so I grabbed it first. It was Nate. I debated not answering for a second, but decided to be mature. “What’s up?”
“I’ve got a fantastic idea. I think I know how to fix some of our biggest problems.”
“By giving everyone raises and spending a few years making all our products fit strict ethical guidelines?” I used a lighter, more teasing tone than I would have a few weeks ago.
“Right. That’s it. How’d you guess?”
“Easy. Didn’t you know I can read minds along with my other powers?”
“Damn, they forgot to tell us that in the how-to-deal-with-Adam-Kingston briefing at orientation.”
“That’s a shame. I’ll have to see that they add it to the curriculum.”
“I said we should regroup tomorrow, but I wanted to tell you about this now. We could get dinner if you haven’t eaten.”
“Dinner? Like a date?”
“Like a business meeting.”
Of course that’s all he meant. What’s wrong with me? “Where do you want to meet? The Kale Cafe?”
“Ha! Do you like Indian food?”
“I love it.”
“An honest answer with no snark. Are you really Adam Kingston?”
“Fuck off.”
“There’s an Indian place I love on Clark Street.”
“Indian sounds good. I could have my driver pick you up, but I suppose you’ll bike there.”
“Actually, I’ll probably walk. It’s a lovely night. You could too, you know.”
I sighed. “Fine. Just for you. I’ll go on foot. See, I can compromise.”
“Ha!”
He gave me the name and address and I hung up.
By the time I’d walked to the restaurant, I was starving. Nate arrived a few minutes after me. Fortunately, the waiter brought us naan as soon as we were seated. I had to force myself not to shove a whole piece in my mouth.
“You want to order several things and share?” Nate asked.
The dinner was feeling more and more like a date, but strangely that didn’t bother me at all. “Possibly. What do you like?”
“I always mean to be more adventurous, but I love the traditional favorites like saag paneer and chicken tikka.”
I smiled. “How hot can you take it?”
“As hot as you can.”
I raised my brows. “I’m not so sure.”
He looked me up and down and my cock stirred.
“Okay, this has to stop or I won’t make it through dinner.” I glanced over the menu. “How about we get your favorites plus lamb vindaloo, chili chicken, and raita?”
“Sounds great, but we’re going to be stuffed,” Nate said.
“You’ll be walking home so it can all settle.”
“Deal. I guess I’ll have to hit the gym extra early tomorrow.”
“I usually run at five thirty. You could join me.”
He looked as surprised as I was that I’d offered. “Hoping you can leave me in the dust and mock me the rest of the day?”
“Well, that would be quite satisfying.”
We placed our order. Once we’d gotten the bottle of wine I requested, I tried to turn my mind to business not pleasure. Since when did simply watching a man or bantering with him make me half hard?
Since you let yourself see the real Nate.
I took a sip of wine and then said, “So this master plan?”
Nate smiled. He looked so young and so fucking enthusiastic. I hoped this plan was as good as he thought, because I wasn’t going to want to say no to him, which was unsettling as fuck since I loved saying no to people. The s
trength of his hold over me was unnerving. I’d never felt like this about anyone, man or woman.
“I think we should sell some of the smaller companies we’ve recently acquired.”
Was that all? “I already said—”
Nate held up his hand to stop me. “That’s a first step. I think we should also sell off Household Products.”
Had he actually said that? “No.” I might hate my father, but we’d both gotten our starts in Household. We’d had lean years but the division had potential to be profitable again.
“Let me finish. I know it was the core of the original business, the division your dad created, and it does make a profit sometimes. Barely. But it’s not growing. It hasn’t grown in years. If we divested ourselves of it—”
“No, Kingston is known for the Household division. Without that—”
“Now who’s being sentimental when he needs to focus on profit? Research and Environmental are where we have the most knowledge, but they’re also two of our strongest areas with the best potential for growth. Without Household Products sucking down so much capital, we can focus our energy where it will do the most good. We can also fund smaller projects in our next most profitable areas like entertainment. If we sell off Household Products, I think we can get back on track.”
I had to force myself to close my mouth. If my father had heard Nate’s suggestion, he might’ve died simply from that. Sell off the core of the business? Doing that seemed like giving up.
Sure, from a purely financial standpoint Nate’s idea made perfect sense, I had to admit that—to myself at least. But I couldn’t do it.
I shook my head. “No, absolutely not. We need to figure out another way.”
“Why? What’s wrong with the plan?”
“We’re not selling Household Products.”
“Because . . .?”
“Because we’re not. It was where Kingston started and it’s non-negotiable.”
“So in other words, Adam Kingston is too stubborn to admit when he hears a good idea that’s not his own.” Nate pushed back from the table, anger darkening his eyes.
I laid a hand on his arm. “Don’t go.”
“What’s the point of being here if you won’t even consider the plan?”
“I’ll consider it.” Or at least pretend to, since I wanted him there.
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