“You know, the surgeon general thinks those things are bad for you.” I wondered if I could reach the box of bandages sitting on the shelf without her crippling or harming me in some way. “I really only need a little bandage, Wanda. Really. I just cut my finger on some palm, like usual. A bandage will keep the blood off my basket. We don’t have to make a major production over this.”
That was a mistake. Wanda grabbed my hand. I sat down in the chair; it was either that or fall on the floor. “I think I see a piece of foreign matter in this cut. We should explore it.”
“I’d rather have leeches put on me. Thanks anyway. May I please have a bandage?”
Wanda wasn’t budging. Obviously she was bored. Her cold fish eyes stared at me, and I shivered. It was either get a bandage myself or die trying. The last time she’d decided to explore one of my cuts, I had to have three stitches at the hospital the next day. No way was I going through that again.
I acted like I was going to give her my hand, then made the dive for the bandages. Wanda tried to stop me, but her block came an instant too late. I grabbed the box; a handful of bandages came out and scattered around us like brown butterflies.
The look on Wanda’s face was terrible. She yelled, “No!” and dropped to catch them before they could hit the wood floor. I doubted that she cared if they got dirty. It was probably more that she’d have to buy more bandages.
In the meantime, I’d grabbed at least ten bandages and stuffed them into the pocket of my troubadour’s outfit, the bells jingling as I moved. I looked back at her with a feeling of triumph. I knew I’d pay for it some other day, but today I was victorious. That was enough for me.
“Jessie, I heard about Mary’s husband.” Wanda’s voice was bordering on the maniacal. Or at least it seemed that way to me. “Ask her about Lord Simon. This isn’t the first time a man in Mary’s life has died mysteriously.”
I didn’t waste any time getting out of there. You know how the good guy always goes back to check and see if the bad guy is really dead? That’s when the bad guy always jumps up and pounds the good guy a few more times before he dies. That’s what I was afraid of with Wanda. If I hesitated, I would lose. I just got the heck out of there. Whatever crazy stuff she had to say about Mary didn’t matter to me.
I was kind of pleased with myself; the bandages were in my pocket, and Wanda’s cursing was at my back. It was a successful trip to the first aid station. Hopefully it wouldn’t happen again anytime soon.
Merlin jumped out in front of me, purple robe flying. I closed my eyes, hoping I wouldn’t see anything that might put me off men for the rest of my life. This might be what the fairies were talking about. It wasn’t so much that Merlin purposely flashed them as that someone needed to make the old wizard wear boxers.
“I know what I was going to tell you before you went back there with Nurse LeFay.” He whirled around a few more times and waved his wand.
I’d had about enough crazy stuff for that hour. I was ready to go back to Wicked Weaves and stick my hand with a palm leaf a few more times. Mary was obscure, and sometimes she worked me too hard, but at least she wasn’t completely insane. Some people in the Village, like Merlin and Wanda, got a little worse every year.
“All right. Tell me. I have to get back to Wicked Weaves.”
“A funnel.” He pulled a brown funnel out of the air like, well, like magic. “During the Inquisition, it was a common torture to use a funnel to drown someone by pouring water down their throat.”
“Lovely.” I located the door behind him and wondered if I could dash around him without touching any of the dead birds.
“You see?” He held the funnel up near his mouth. “Anyone could use something like this to force someone to take in alcohol or any other liquid. They’d have to be subdued, of course.”
“Of course.” I didn’t want to know where he was going with this.
“Mary purchased one of my finest leather funnels several months ago. It was February.” His feathery white brows knit together. “Or was it March? It was definitely before May.”
“I’m sure she had a good reason to buy a funnel.”
“I’m sure she did.” He did a little jig of some sort. I’m not totally clear on what a jig actually is, but it’s the best way to describe the dance he did. “Amazing that she would have opportunity to use the funnel, eh?”
I thanked him for telling me about the funnel, then ran out of the Apothecary and smack into Chase. “Hey! I’ve been looking all over for you,” he said.
“Merlin thinks Mary used an Inquisition funnel to murder Joshua.” I couldn’t help it. The weirdness took me over and forced me to say these things. “He and Wanda both think Mary killed Joshua. And who is Lord Simon?”
Eight
“Slow down and tell me what you’re talking about,” Chase encouraged.
I took a deep breath and repeated everything Wanda and Merlin had said to me. “That means Merlin thinks Mary used the funnel she got from him to pour liquor into Joshua, and Wanda says it’s happened before with some guy called Lord Simon. Do you know anything about that?”
“It must’ve been before my time as bailiff. Back when I was jousting and chasing elephants, I didn’t know much that went on around here.”
I laughed when I remembered that time Chase was herding goats around the Village. “No wonder! It was all you could do to keep up with the animals.”
“Especially the large ones. That time the camel stepped on my foot, I thought I was going to lose my toes.”
We’d gotten off track for a minute, but I felt less tense. “Everything is going against her, Chase. If the police talk to Merlin or Wanda or anyone except you and me, she could end up going to prison. We both know she’s not guilty. She’s a little weird and bossy, but you should see the look in her eyes when she talks about Joshua. And did you know they had a son together?”
“No. I’ve never heard that. Did Mary tell you?”
“Yeah. She hasn’t seen him in twenty years. He could be here in the Village right now, and she wouldn’t know him. Life has pushed her around a lot. We can’t let it push her any more.”
“That’s poetic, Jessie, but do you have any idea on how we start proving Mary is innocent?”
“I think I do. We have to see Ham the blacksmith. I think he may have some answers.”
“I’ve got about an hour until my next court appearance and tour of the dungeon. Maybe we could squeeze it in now.”
I hugged him, and he kissed me. We were almost side-tracked again. An hour is plenty of time for a lot of things. But we decided to put those off and talk to Ham.
The blacksmith shop was wedged between the jousting arena, the privies, and the Caravan Stage, where the new belly dancers were. It made sense to have him near the field and the stables. I’m not sure why the belly dancers were so close. It seemed like it would’ve been better to have the archery board or the hatchet throwing close by. But nothing made sense all the time. I suppose Renaissance Faire Village did the best it could, especially with its otherworldly atmosphere.
We walked past William Shakespeare, who was composing a sonnet on the color of one of the fairy’s wings. Mother Goose was telling nursery rhymes as she stroked the pure white feathers on her bird. Galileo was showing his experiments to a group of campers from a day school. There was always something going on.
Shakespeare called out to Chase as we went by. “Bailiff, where goest thou?”
“To the blacksmith,” Chase answered. “What doest thou, Sir Shakespeare?”
“I believe I am attempting to woo yon fairy, Sir Bailiff.” Shakespeare, aka Pat Snyder, grinned almost as wide as the starched white ruff around his neck.
“Carry on, Sir Shakespeare.” Chase waved to the rutting playwright.
“What is it about those fairies?” I kept walking fast, trying to ignore both men looking at the pretty fairy’s almost-transparent dress. “I think they should make them wear velvet or linen or maybe a nice wool like
the rest of us.”
Chase caught up with me and casually draped his arm around my shoulders. “Methinks thou dost not appreciate the female fairies.”
“Think you?” I shrugged off his arm. “I canst imagine why.”
He stopped and pulled me off my feet. “Thinkest thou I do enjoy fairies more than you, my fine troubadour?” He jiggled me a little until the bells on my costume were ringing.
“Put me down, knavish oaf!”
“Methinks you should make reparations for impugning my honor, wench.”
“Put me down, and I will impugn you no longer, sir.”
It was only then I realized we’d drawn a crowd. Cameras started flashing, and children started asking their parents what we were talking about. Queen Olivia went by with her procession of ladies-in-waiting. Her look said we’d better cut it out. No one was allowed to interrupt Livy and her adoring crowd during her hourly stroll through the Village.
Chase put me down, put his arm around me, and we walked away.
“Forsooth,” Shakespeare exclaimed behind us, “the troubadour and the bailiff make an unusual couple. What say you, beautiful fairy?”
Thankfully, I didn’t have to hear what the fairy said. I forgave Chase. After all, if there were any boy fairies, and they wore next to nothing, I’d be looking at them, too. I suppose there’s some rhyme in that reason.
We reached the blacksmith’s forge a few minutes later. Little Bo Peep was chasing her sheep, but the Big Bad Wolf had stepped in to help her. They were on the outs right now, so it was good of the wolf. He and Bo Peep had been together for a while. I hated that they broke up. Maybe the lost sheep would get them back together.
Chase called out for Ham, which was short for Hammer; no one seemed to know his real name. We didn’t see him at his usual spot by the forge. His tools were there, along with a horseshoe he was working on. “It’s me, Ham. I need to talk to you.”
“I don’t see him.” I looked around the small smithy. There was no sign of Ham, which was unusual, because the hot coals were ready to soften the iron. “He doesn’t just leave like this.”
Chase looked back where the horses were kept when they were waiting to be shod. “He’s not back here, either. Ham? Where are you?”
I heard a groaning sound and moved some hay out of the way. Ham was underneath it, nursing a bump on the head.
We dragged him out of the smithy, and Chase called the paramedics. I sat with Ham, who seemed disoriented but otherwise okay.
“What happened?” I asked him. “Did you fall?”
“No. Someone sneaked up behind me and hit me in the head.” He turned so I could examine his scalp beneath the thin black fuzz on his head. “I didn’t see who it was, but whoever is gonna be sorry when I catch up with him.”
Inspired, I ventured, “Could it have been Abraham?”
“Abraham?” Ham stared at me. “I don’t know anyone named Abraham except for the piper’s son who keeps stealing that stupid pig.”
“No. I mean Abraham, Joshua’s brother.”
“Is he here?” Ham looked around. “Does Mary know?”
“Yes. He’s here. He talked to her before we found Joshua. He was threatening her, I think. He told her Jah is still alive.”
He shook his head and groaned. “I ain’t seen Abraham, Joshua, nor Jah for so long, I’m not sure I’d know them to see them. What’s this about Mary killing Joshua?”
“It’s not true. That’s why we’re here. We thought you might be able to help us.”
“She never tells me anything. I wouldn’t know if she killed all three of them and hid them in the back of that shop. That’s the way she is. That woman wouldn’t open her mouth to tell her secrets if death was standing in front of her wanting to know.”
This was getting me nowhere. Ham was almost as bad as Merlin and Wanda. Of course, someone had hit him in the head. Could it be the same person who killed Joshua? Maybe this time, he wasn’t able to finish the job for some reason. Maybe he was about to pour liquor down Ham’s throat, then strangle him.
I looked around the smithy for any sign of what had happened. “Where were you when you were attacked?”
“I was standing at the forge, like always. I bent over to pick up a horseshoe, and something came down hard on my head. Next thing I know, you and Chase were dragging me out of the hay.”
Chase and the paramedics stopped my interrogation. They took Ham away to have his head X-rayed. I kept looking through the straw while they hooked Ham up to an IV and called the ambulance.
“What are you looking for?” Chase asked when the paramedics were gone. A small crowd had gathered around the smithy, waiting for any other excitement that might happen.
“I’m looking for clues. Who do you think did this?” I glanced at the curious onlookers. “You’re the bailiff. Shouldn’t you do crowd control?”
He went to shoo away the people and keep the foot traffic moving. I continued to search through the hay, hoping Ham’s attacker might have left something behind. I started sneezing and finally had to give up, sitting back against the wall and blowing my nose.
“They don’t call it hay fever for nothing.” He sat beside me. “Any luck?”
“No. I guess it was too much to hope for.” I told him my theory about Ham. “We might’ve saved his life by coming to look for him.”
“Why would someone want to kill Ham?”
“Maybe for the same reason they killed Joshua.”
“You two interested in what happened to the blacksmith?”
We looked up and saw one of Robin Hood’s Merry Men. He was totally dressed in forest green from his slippers and tights to his tunic and mantle. He wore a pointy hat and had a bow slung across his shoulder.
“Is that you, Alex?” I got to my feet and dusted off my costume.
“Jessie? I didn’t recognize you in that getup. I didn’t know if you were here this summer.”
I walked toward him at the same time he came toward me. I put up my arms to hug him, and he unexpectedly kissed me. Alex and I had a history. It was only one summer when I was just a kid. But he was still a good kisser.
Chase cleared his throat. I stepped back, and Alex grinned. “Same old Jessie. It’s good to see you.”
I did the introductions quickly. Chase kind of knew Alex anyway. He wasn’t looking very friendly, and they didn’t shake hands.
“What can you tell me about what happened to Ham?” Despite the sudden tension in the smithy, I still wanted answers.
“I saw some guy in here a little while ago when I was going by to see my wife. She’s one of the belly dancers.”
“Really? I didn’t know you were married.”
“Who’d guess?” Chase mumbled.
“Yeah. Her name is Sally. She’s an English professor at Auburn. She loves to come out here for the summer.” Alex smiled without looking like he felt guilty at all for kissing me, despite the fact that he was married.
“So what exactly did you see, Alex?” Chase kept the conversation going away from the personal stuff.
“There was a tall dude here.” Alex looked at me. “He was wearing one of those hooded monk costumes. I don’t know if he was from the bakery or what.”
I should explain that the name of the baked goods shop is the Monastery Bakery, and all the people who work there dress like monks. They even made a CD of their chanting a few years ago. “And you saw him here with Ham?”
“Not exactly. Ham was working at the forge, and the monk dude was behind him. I didn’t think anything about it until I heard Ham got hit in the head. Now I think the monk might’ve done it.”
“Okay. Thanks for your input.” Chase was using his crowd control voice. “We’ll send a page if we need you. Now move along.”
“Maybe we could have some coffee or dinner.” Alex smiled at me and ignored Chase.
“What did you say your wife’s name was again?” I smiled back, but there was no way I was going to do anything with Alex, even if I hadn’
t already been mostly committed to Chase. At least for the summer.
“I think we need to go now.” Chase took my arm and nodded to Alex. “See you around.”
“Don’t be so jealous,” I whispered as he hustled me away from Alex.
“I should be happy you kissed him like a long-lost lover?”
“He is kind of a long-lost lover. I didn’t know he was married.”
“That makes all the difference. In the meantime, during the ten-minute lip-lock, here’s good old Chase watching and waiting.”
“It wasn’t like that.”
Wicked Weaves Page 9
