by Rey Balor
Immediately, the heavy points of daylight pressed against her, causing her to squint and shield her face from the brightness. Peeking through fingers, it was enough to recognize she was in a hallway that was near devoid of activity. The few present individuals paused their work at the sight of her, but her haggard appearance did not matter.
She needed to find the blonde woman and…and…and… No, that wasn’t quite right. She needed to find herself — that part of herself, separate from her own flesh and bone. She needed to find Illias.
The nameless wolfling was barefoot. Her eyes immediately darted to one of the serving men. She grabbed onto him and ignored his cries, ramming his head into the wall so that he fell unconscious. He was a doll; they were all dolls — and what were dolls made for? To be played with, of course. Just like the ones she and Illias used to make. She stole the man’s boots and slipped them onto her own feet, mind racing for the next plan of attack, the next step in her journey, the next part of the puzzle.
“Marvelous, my darling!” The golden woman stood at the end of the hallway. Where the room had been dark, the woman glowed with color. A guard flanked her steps, and the wolf did not know if the guard was there to protect or to imprison the woman.
Did it matter? Yes, of course! She needed to…needed to…needed to…
The wolfling stood with her back to the wall, cornered and brimming with fear, but the woman stepped forward and held out her hand. There was such kindness in her gaze that surely the wolfling’s memories of hatred were something dreamed. How much easier it would be to take hold of her hand and go where she led.
“Things must be so confusing for you now, aren’t they? I have your medicine to help with the confusion.” The woman’s hand did not shake, and there was strength to be admired in her expression, soft as it was. “Please, you must be exhausted from your ordeal. Rest, and we can solve this together. Your birthmate is waiting for you, Pet.”
“Pet?” Surely, that was not her name. Hadn’t hers carried strength? There was a storm in the gray of her eyes, but the short syllable did not seem to reflect that. She pressed herself closer against the wall, wishing she had a weapon. Kill the stars, a voice seemed to tell her, but the stars were miles away, high above the gray ash that covered the skies.
“Do you know any other name?”
She had entered the room as a warrior; she left the room as a war.
She clutched the woman’s hand.
Chapter 38: Beneath the Space Station
“And so unto the one destined to die:
‘You will again.’”
Death’s Lament, 57.2
An apple fell, landing beside Hypatia with a dull thud.
“An apple fell, and the universe was undone,” she mused, despite there being no one around to hear. “An apple fell, and humanity was saved. Isn’t that how it goes? The classic story. …Oh, shut up, Pat.”
It was the last tree growing on the long journey, and the shade it provided the girl had her shivering in the faint morning light. The shade was not to protect from the sun, perched behind clouds, but from the infinite gray color of the sky that taunted her above. She didn’t want to leave the tree’s cool cover, but she could handle this! Hadn’t she been repeating that very encouragement every single night? You can handle this, Pat, my girl. You can handle this. The falling fruit gave her the sign she had been looking for to press forward.
It had been a pilgrimage to get this far, and while, logically, she knew it was foolish to follow the voice of a woman who appeared and disappeared in time with the wind, there were no other voices to listen to. She picked up the apple and made her decision — of course, she would see this through. She was on the edge of the world, and even the forestry around her seemed to recognize this fact. It had abandoned the site centuries ago, and Pat could not help but wonder if that was the wisest decision.
In the distance, she saw the cracks in the ground stretching into oblivion. A gray column of ash and smoke rolled into the sky, and dust trickled down in the image of rain. It tickled Pat’s lungs, and she pulled the fabric of her shirt over her mouth and nose to ensure she wasn’t inhaling the particles. She did not have the same body as those on the earth. Where their lungs had prospered at the appearance of the omen before her, her own ancestors, the ones from which her cells were taken from, remained floating above the planet without any care to the changes occurring in their people.
Were they even the same species anymore?
With a sigh, she took a bite of the apple and continued her journey. The ground beneath her grew gray as well, feet sinking into the grayness as she moved on. It was exhausting work, and the ash was far heavier than simple dirt. It clung to her clothes and her skin, creeping beneath the protective barrier she had crafted for herself. When she started coughing, she was not certain she would be able to stop, but even still, she continued onward. It was for progress, for science, for her own sanity… Chips of basalt forced their way into her threadbare shoes, each step forward marked by stabs of pain. New calluses formed on her feet. Used to the strict rules of the station, she bit her tongue instead of letting out swears.
Everywhere she looked, she saw gray, and the color seared into her eyes. It made it difficult to imagine anything else. Even the memories of the earth from above seemed dim in comparison. Sweat pooled at her brow, and her hair fell in stringy wisps. The landscape threatened to swallow her. One step forward, and she allowed herself a quick break, forever at the mercy of the strange gravity of earth. One step forward, and she was ignoring the strict rules of the station to mutter a string of expletives that would cause Nikola to faint, had he been alive to hear.
When she reached the endless pit that had no bottom and no edges, that massive volcano that both destroyed and created the world, she began to believe what Domina Mors told her.
She began to believe in an underworld.
Above her, a flash of light flickered, and she squinted. Shock pulsed heavily in her heart at the site she saw. Color, bright with a promise of something beyond this desolation, lit up the sky. There was a hole in the gray blanket, and for just an instant, she imagined that she could see the fabled pink skies of morning. The moment ended, quick as a blink, when the sonic boom caught up with the image and sent a crashing wave of sound through the air. It was a comet, and the redness that blazed behind it reminded her of entering the atmosphere of the planet. She gasped, sending her into another fit of coughing, and through the watering tears in her eyes, she forced herself to look at the comet once more.
No, not a comet.
It was a ship, one she had been trained to recognize.
Her family had arrived.
ENDNOTES
DRAMATIS PERSONAE: 1. Note: Claymore, the head Aegis of the five Queens’ guard, is gender neutral. This means that they use they/them pronouns. Please respect identities beyond the binary.↩ PREFACE: 2. It had been a miracle they lived as long as they did with the cough wracking their fragile forms. Most who developed the sickness were lost within weeks, and those that survived were rarely the same. ↩ 3. It was an old perception of those in the city that the men of the Erie-folk kidnapped women in a desperate attempt at mating. It was thought the wolflings took to the pack mentality and desired only boys to become the alphas of their group.↩ 4. The first few months of a child’s life were spent going to birth houses across the realm in an effort to discover if the child had a birthmate. It was the family’s duty. ↩ CHAPTER 1: 5. Only the five Aegis members had armor. Each piece was made from scrap metal stripped from ancient cities by the Queen of the Pillared Lands. ↩ 6. Oblivion, the sword was called. It was a heavy, broad blade designed for Claymore’s build and stature.↩ 7. The deadly remainder of the old world carried no such title.↩ CHAPTER 2: 8. Arista and Spica are both names for a pair of binary stars in the constellation Virgo. The stars rotate so closely to one another that they cannot be distinguished as separate through a telescope.↩ 9. If Olena wished to follow in her mother’s traditions,
she would remove no hair from herself.↩ 10. Olena had taken to wearing steel bangles to bed when she was a little girl, too proud to say she was afraid of the silence of night. She believed the noise frightened spirits, beasts, and city folk away; it was the chime of the wilds. For others, steel was a rare commodity and considered good luck.↩ 11. Chained-folk was another phrase for those under the Queens’ rules, created in response to the term wolfling.↩ 12. Most likely, the Queens had armed simple farmers in an effort to keep their new croplands safe from bandits and rebellion alike, but they hadn’t spent the time actual training them. The little ladies could not even honor the Erie-folk with real warriors! ↩ 13. Illias was not so cruel as to give farm hands and their spouses the mark of an improper death. As often as he could, he tried to ensure those he harmed would heal eventually.↩ 14. Illias was almost positive that the girl had stumbled across the tent only because it was a nice place to sit. Theo was notorious for this very behavior. ↩ 15. Matching daggers, had anyone stopped to check — a gift from their father when Illias and Olena decided to join the fight. It was connection and promise; the pair of weapons were forged from the same material to create two halves of one blade. ↩ 16. Erie-folk never brought with them more than they could carry. ↩ 17. Neilson was just over half a century old. The wilds aged people as they were meant to (wrinkles, spots, and aching bones), but those in the city lived long, long lives and hardly looked the part. It confused the Erie-folk, for how did you know how to address people? Who was a suitable mate? When was it time to let the next generation lead? The lifespan of the Erie-folk was significantly less than those in the city. ↩ CHAPTER 3: 18. Born from mostly the same genetic makeup, those aboard the space station had the same color eyes. Most also had the same color hair. There were few exceptions to this. ↩ 19. Once, Pat had simply told Marie that she hadn’t gone to breakfast because she preferred sleeping in the mornings.↩ CHAPTER 4: 20. Famously, it was said that the first Queen’s right hand refused to draw the star and can still be heard roaming the panopticon. No guards have ever observed him.↩ CHAPTER 5: 21. Suddenly for Olena and Olena alone. In truth, it was that emotion Illias hadn’t dared name until now. ↩ 22. The strength, wisdom, and victory of a warrior was the only thing the Erie-folk followed now — the only thing that could keep such a wide array of clans together. ↩ 23. This was a usual occurrence for Theo. She would leave little trinkets for the birds — usually clumps of flowers, creations she made, or junk she picked up from nearby towns. ↩ 24. In one of the worst raids by the Queens, Olena had lost family members — an uncle and his mate, burned alive for trying to protect their water source. Her Da had been grievously injured in a rescue attempt, but survived. It was after this that her Da truly became King, and Olena felt the first worry for him surface.↩ 25. There are several regional varieties of this story, but all have the same elements: woman as destroyer, woman as savior, man as victim, man as balance. Woman as mother despite it all. Names are often changed, but Neilson never liked embellishing an already good story. ↩ CHAPTER 6: 26. It was a path Pat was equally as proud of, if they had thought to ask her. Being a Light Bringer was the foundation of her personality — what would she be without it?↩ 27. If there had ever been a case of lawbreaking, it was not told to the Light Bringers. No one knew what the consequences might be.↩ CHAPTER 7: 28. The various weapons served strict defensive purposes, deciding the name of each Aegis. Designed from the same stripped metal that built their armor, the Queen of the Pillared Lands and the Queen of the Vanguard met with each member to forge the weapons in their liking.↩ 29. Now, those caged still chanted MACHINA, MACHINA in hopes the newly released prisoner would save them. Even as recently as that day, Claymore entered the prison briefly to the sounds of such a call. ↩ 30. It was never the same time twice in a row so that Caliana could not plan an easy escape. Claymore did not consider the other side of this: that none of the other Queens would easily figure out that Caliana had been freed either. ↩ CHAPTER 8: 31. The exact history of the term wolfling is difficult to trace, but it is deeply connected with the beginning of the Queens’ takeover of Erie-folk resources. In the Citadel, most aren’t familiar with any other name for these wild men and women but wolfling. Beasts are so much easier to kill, after all.↩ 32. Olena often wondered how many of her ancestors had glimpsed the trees growing in a wrecked world. In their stories, the world had been frozen for generations, and the idea that the forest around her should endure was encouraging.↩ CHAPTER 9: 33. For often, satisfaction came too late. The myths on the station were more fables than anything else — meant to provide lessons for the Light Bringers and what awaited them.↩ 34. None of them even had mothers! Why should Pat take on the role?↩ CHAPTER 10: 35. Much as the Queen of the Summer Isles’ throne had thorns to deter the unworthy, the Queen of Stone’s tree gave the same reminder. Each Queen made such an exhibit of their thrones. The Queen of the Range had a simple stool, built for someone of her size alone. The Queen of the Vanguard had a throne made of old ship wood, which would splinter those who were not careful. The Queen of the Pillared Lands had a precariously stacked throne of glass, iron, and plastic — a horror mosaic built for someone who could balance on the unbalancable. ↩ 36. Each Queen had her secrets; it was the Aegis’s job to remain neutral in the face of them. It was the point of neutrality — the most important trait for an Aegis. ↩ CHAPTER 11: 37. Gold and coins and all manners of expense had never been a matter of importance to Illias or the other members of the Erie-folk. They took from the land what they needed, never growing large enough in their numbers to become greedy, and they traded with smaller villages to get what they couldn’t from the planet itself.↩ 38. There was a note of shame carried by Manton’s age, as the Erie-folk so rarely lived as long as he had. Most who neared such an age traveled into the woods for one grand, final hunt, never to return. ↩ CHAPTER 14: 39. Normally, Erie-folk rose with the morning. While they have shelter, their shelter so rarely includes drapes on the windows. In the snowy months, shelters with windows of ice are common. In the warmer months, open shelters are common. Either way, the sun helps them wake. ↩ 40. While no one knew exactly how many Erie-folk there were, Neilson Rivers was estimated to have united more than half of them. The only ones he did not approach were those notorious for killing indiscriminately — the wild bands, they were named. ↩ 41. Horses were the tools of the Queens, often used in raids to kill Erie-folk. While it was possible for some groups to get a hold of the beasts, there was a deep-rooted fear of them for most Erie-folk.↩ 42. Without all the grace and color the Erie-folk’s usual war paint carried, these false wolflings offered a poor imitation of the scenes and symbols represented on the Erie-folk during battle.↩ 43. In all of the missions Illias had gone on with Olena, rarely had he doled out kills to those he came across. Most were simple people, given weapons with no training on how to use them. He played at war, but it breathed down his neck for so long that such play had become norm for him.↩ 44. There was a reason Illias spent so long making spear tips. In brutal conflicts and hunts, they remained inside the flesh to cause the maximum amount of damage. ↩ 45. The town wasn’t the interest so much as the encampment of soldiers nearby. It was a common trading post — a neutral space. There was a rule to leave such areas alone. ↩ CHAPTER 15: 46. One of the children had perished as an infant after failing to develop properly. Isaac claimed to remember the little girl, but Pat thought it was a load of nonsense. ↩ CHAPTER 16: 47. How Caliana was a secret brought out from the other Queens, how she stared as if attempting to solve a problem the Aegis couldn’t see, how she cackled with disdain for them all… ↩ 48. Already, the old woman’s name was forgotten. How many had Claymore blessed with Death? ↩ CHAPTER 17: 49. It reminded Illias of the time the Rivers approached a town for trading. They found a traveling man there who kept a strange animal caged — a large cat, growling and feral in its hungry. People paid to approach it and touch it and marvel at its wildness. Illias and Olena tried to free it, but both were beat by the traveling man in
punishment. Illias was beginning to understand the large cat with how people touched him here. ↩ CHAPTER 18: 50. They were always preparing for the worst. It was the trademark of Light Bringers: while they prepared for the grand future of earth, they prepared for their own eventual failings. ↩ 51. Distantly, Pat wondered if the red-haired woman had ever stepped foot in a place like this. It was funny how her mind could be occupied with such different things.↩ CHAPTER 19: 52. The lenses were more in place to block out the ache the sunlight would cause. It was rumored the Queen of the Pillared Lands wore them constantly due to her aptitude at developing hangovers. ↩ 53. Cutting a prisoner to weaken them was a common practice when someone was first brought in under suspicions. It discouraged escape attempts before a trial. ↩ CHAPTER 20: 54. Illias had seen Olena in several people on his way to the Citadel. In the butcher, laughing with his family. In a trader, with her loud mouth. In a little girl, standing before a group of children and bellowing tactics for a game. ↩ 55. Olena had grown up wrestling Illias. Although he only had an inch on her (a fact he was always keen to remind her), he had grown strong while she had grown quick. They trained, helping each other to stay alive in a world that so clearly wanted them dead.↩ CHAPTER 21: 56. Pat wanted the other Light Bringers to pay, but she didn’t want to kill them. She wanted to be Caesar and them to be the pirates that betrayed him, but she didn’t want to crucify them in the end. Caesar minus the murders. She just wanted to mock them. Or spurn them. Truthfully, she wasn’t thinking too far ahead.↩ 57. Already, Pat’s lungs tickled with the ash in the air, and the heavier gravity made her queasy. Such was the role of a Light Bringer: they did not live to see their own contributions, if they managed to make any at all. What they did served the greater whole of humanity, or so they believed. ↩ CHAPTER 22: 58. It was a tradition steeped in keeping the honor of the Aegis pure. Shamed captains had to spare the Aegis from sharing in their shame. ↩ 59. The Aegis were not people; they were tools, and the world had done such a good job at convincing them of this fact that even they did not recognize their own humanity.↩ 60. All Aegis were born with birthmates, and all Aegis had lost their birthmates. Claymore’s own birthmate, Dove, had died when the two were very small. He drowned while playing in a river. ↩ CHAPTER 23: 61. Not taking any additional steps forward ensured that Pan wasn’t viewed as a potential threat to the Aegis. The intricacies of confrontation and requests were lost on Illias, but as someone who grew up in close proximity to the Citadel and been a guard for a while, Pan knew what to do to gather their attention and remain alive. ↩ 62. On the phrase "the stars in your veins are the stars in mine": While the saying originated in the outer villages, it became so associated with the Erie-folk in the past decades that to say it was to claim oneself as a wolfling.↩ 63. Tapster was not a wolf, but he was a dog, and whenever he barked a command, Hops had to quickly see it done. It was the only way the inn kept running.↩ 64. Fidgeting with arrows was a habit of Olena’s, but never when it was time to actually hunt. When a hunt came, she was deathly still.↩ 65. Across the forest, less than a league away, Ranger had crouched low and enjoyed a meal earlier that evening. The trees around her were whispering again, reminding her day after day that these were not her woods — this was not her home. She had laughed in the face of it, but the depths of the wildness devoured the sound. She had clawed her nails down her own arms in an effort to remind herself what was real.↩ CHAPTER 24: 66. Each person aboard the station carried a few pills on them at all times. It was to make sure the rations were always split equally among them, as well as to prepare the children on how to allocate scarce resources. ↩ CHAPTER 25: 67. Claymore had never missed a shot…↩ 68. Ah, even now, when Claymore felt their knees weaken beneath them, the thought of Alycia’s trueborn name brought nothing but sweetness.↩ CHAPTER 26: 69. Illias was beginning to reject the title of prince in a way he never had before. If Queens all acted with scorn and suspicions, he wanted nothing to do with a claim of royalty.↩ 70. There had been four harsh winters in the free lands during Illias’s life, where food was so scarce that they had to travel to chained-folk villages more often than not. Even then, most chose to go hungry so the few children and elders could get their share. It was an honor to pass food along. ↩ 71. Only two people know the story of Caliana’s capture: Caliana and the Queen of the Summer Isles. She was found at the top of the Citadel’s walls, crying and alone. No one in the city would shelter her. The Queen of the Summer Isles is still not sure what she intended to do up on the walls. ↩ 72. It was not lost on Olena that the last time she laid side by side with someone, it had been with Illias.↩ 73. It was a moment too long.↩ CHAPTER 27: 74. Pat reasoned not many in primitive villages would possess a skill such as reading.↩ 75. What color were those eyes — teal; red; pale, pale blue? Pat would never get an answer to that question. ↩ CHAPTER 28: 76. If the Erie-folk did not speak the truths of their heart, regardless of the consequences it might bring, they did not consider themselves free.↩ CHAPTER 29: 77. The mace was a fancified version of the weapons the Citadel had given to its farmers when they stole Erie-folk land. Illias was well acquainted with them. ↩ 78. The questions were prepared by the Queen herself, Illias was informed bitterly on more than one occasion. He was almost amazed by the number of ways the Lady of the Pillared Lands could work in complaints about the Queen.↩ 79. Olena was a warrior, and warriors were not meant to be taken alive.↩ 80. The bones of past wolflings had crumbled in the walls, their heads had long rotted away, and their ghosts had been dismissed as nothing more than the howling of wolves in the woods. Everyone in the Citadel remembered, although none spoke about it.↩ CHAPTER 30: 81. Ironically, the explosives were made from scrap metal and various other materials scavenged by the Lady of the Pillared Lands on her last expedition as Queen.↩ 82. Claymore had to wonder if the Queen had staged the whole thing. Paranoia was as new to Claymore as any of the other emotions the Queen had awoken in them.↩ CHAPTER 31: 83. Never in Olena‘s life had she been so utterly alone. She had grown beside Illias, she had a family extending beyond the borders of blood, and even when she had left those behind, she had a strange group to call her own. ↩ 84. In old myths, the earth had been cleansed with floods time and time again; why should Olena stand in opposition of those ways now?↩ CHAPTER 32: 85. When their parents had sent Claymore to join the Aegis, their mother stopped them for a moment at the walls. “Swallow your pain, titan, and hold its weight on your back. Smile even as it breaks you,” she told them. The words haunted Claymore to this day.↩ 86. These were the rooms where the Aegis had first been forged, in the heat of torture and the coldness of confession.↩ 87. In the vulnerable promise of truth, the Queen had said. In truth, she always bared herself as a form of distraction.↩ CHAPTER 33: 88. Illias did not even feel the Lady of the Pillared Lands watching him with pride, staring at him as a creator. He did not sense the Aegis captain ensuring he did not come too close to the Queen.↩ CHAPTER 34: 89. Perhaps those dead birthmates Claymore so liked to wonder about were giving aid now.↩ 90. No, not birthmates, Claymore reminded themself… they called themselves spicas, and the captain tried to cement this otherness in their brain.↩ CHAPTER 36: 91. The hospital wing was hardly used because deep injuries were rare when most healed quickly. Deaths were far more common than deep injuries, but even those were deliberate and away from the sterile rooms of the hospital.↩
