by Jayne Blue
“Open house is in three days,” I said. “The stagers did a fantastic job. They’re just finishing up in the basement.” I said the words, but my voice felt hollow. Nolan sensed it.
“You sure you’re okay?” He came to me, holding his hands out. “Why don’t you let me get rid of that?” He pointed to the box I held. I turned at the waist, keeping it from him.
“No,” I said. “I’ve got it. Do you mind waiting and locking up after they get done downstairs? Give it a last once-over, make sure there are no scuff marks on the floor or the light switches. The usual.”
“No problem,” Nolan answered. “You coming back to the office?”
I gave him a half-smile. “Not today. This one has taken it out of me. I think I’m going to head straight home after running one last errand.”
“Got it. And good plan. You deserve it. I’ll see you back at the barn tomorrow?”
I hit the hallway light switch with my shoulder. “I’ll be there early. Now that this place is done, I want to get started scouting the next project.”
“No rest for the wicked,” Nolan called back. He headed down the stairs to check on the progress there.
Turning, I went out the front door. A bright sun greeted me. I heaved the cardboard box onto the passenger seat of my truck and slammed the door. I should just go home, like I said I would. I should toss that damn box into the nearest dumpster and put it all behind me. Chase had broken my heart, but he’d been right about one thing. Maybe we’d been headed that way all along.
Starting the truck, I leaned my chin against the steering wheel. It wasn’t too late to just chuck the whole thing and forget everything else Chase and I shared. But every time I closed my eyes, his swam in front of me. It wasn’t the last hateful words we’d shouted to each other. Instead, I saw him as he had been here at Hutchins Street on that last day. He’d broken right in front of me. I felt as though I’d held him together with my bare hands. It was something I would have been willing to do again and again. If only Chase could have been brave enough to let me.
It took me twenty minutes to weave through downtown traffic. Enough time for me to lose my nerve. Except I didn’t. Somehow I managed to choke back the tears as I pulled into the Port Azrael Police Headquarters and found a place to park.
Should I leave the box here? Would they search me when I came in? I didn’t know what the procedure was for this kind of thing. Finally, I decided to just take it with me. There was a good chance I’d be told this whole thing was too far-fetched and ridiculous to take any further. I was hoping for that. It would be okay. At least I could go to sleep tonight knowing I’d done everything I could. No loose ends. No regrets.
I walked up to the information desk. A college-aged girl with black hair smiled up at me. “Do you know what you’re looking for, ma’am?”
Ma’am. At twenty-five, I was already ma’am-worthy to her. Of course, I still wore grimy overalls and my hair stuck out at odd angles where I’d pulled it into a top knot. Shit. I hadn’t even thought about changing after work.
“I’m looking for Detective Jenny Guffy. Is she working today?”
The receptionist typed on her keyboard then smiled back up at me. “She’s in. Is she expecting you?”
“Uh. No. I’m afraid not. Can you just please tell her my name, Ariel Gatling. We met last week. I’m a friend of Charles Cutter’s.”
Chase’s name didn’t seem to mean anything to her. She held up a finger and got Jenny on the phone. Her eyes darted across her computer screen and her smile dropped for an instant. Then she plastered it back into place as she looked up at me.
“You’re good,” she said. “Detective Guffy is just down the hall there. Last door on your right. Just give it a tap if the door’s closed.”
“Thank you,” I said, my heart racing. Maybe this was a bone-headed idea. Would Jenny think I was just desperate to get attention or something? Would she know what happened between Chase and me?
When I got to the end of the hall, I raised my fist to knock. Before I could, the door swung open and Jenny stood there, beaming. She put a welcoming hand on my arm and ushered me into her office. It was small, sparsely decorated and yet somehow had a feminine touch. She had a window planter filled with bright green ferns. Her office overlooked the Port Azrael Bay. The wood paneling left a lot to be desired and my designer’s wheels started to turn about how I could brighten it up for her.
“I’m so glad you stopped by!” Jenny said, breathless. She gestured toward one of the burgundy leather chairs in front of her desk. “How have you been? I haven’t seen you since the cookout. I was starting to think maybe we’d all scared you away. My fault. I’ve been working crazy hours since then.”
“I ... uh ... oh. So I guess Chase hasn’t said much about, well, anything?”
Jenny’s expression went slack. She sat back hard in her seat and folded her hands in her lap. “Good God. What’s he done?”
The urge to spill the whole story welled up inside of me. But once I started, I didn’t know how I’d stop. The last thing I wanted was for Jenny Guffy to think I was hysterical.
“Nothing,” I finally settled on. “We aren’t ... things are kind of at a standstill right now.”
“Are you okay?” Jenny leaned forward. She had kind eyes that searched my face. Jenny Guffy wasn’t tall or formidable in terms of her stature. However, she had a toughness about her that I related to. Port Azrael was probably just as unforgiving to female detectives as they were to female contractors.
“It’s for the best,” I said. “Probably. I’m not sure I’m cut out for the life, you know?”
Jenny’s smile put me at ease. She spread her arms wide, palms up. “Me neither. And yet, somehow Benz and I make it work. Believe me, nobody was more shocked by that than me. Problem is, I love him and that’s just all there is to it. Do you love Chase?”
I blinked hard. The tears that had been hovering near the surface since I stormed out of the clubhouse threatened to fall again. I wouldn’t do it though. Tears made me weak. I wouldn’t show that, not even to Jenny. It turned out I didn’t have to. She seemed to understand anyway.
“That bad, is it?” she said, reaching across the desk to lightly touch my hand. I pulled back.
“I can’t. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Not to me. Look, I’m not going to claim to know Chase through and through. But what I do know is that he’s a good man. Bear trusts him. I can also tell you that whatever Chase has told you, he’s head over heels, hun. We all saw it. Now I don’t know what’s in your heart. And I won’t lie to you or sugarcoat anything where the club is concerned. Because you’re right. That life isn’t for everyone. Don’t think I don’t question my own choices a million times. You just can’t help who you love, you know.”
Nodding, I sat straighter in my chair. I didn’t cry, but I smoothed a finger beneath each eye.
“So,” Jenny said, slapping her palms on the top of her desk. “I know you didn’t come here for relationship advice. At least, probably not. Why don’t you tell me what I can do for you.”
“Right.” I rubbed a thumb against my palm and tried to find the words to explain all of this. “It’s about the house I’m flipping on Hutchins Street.”
“Oh! Yes. You know, Benz and I rode through there the other day. I can’t believe the transformation. You’re making it beautiful down there, little by little, aren’t you? It’s amazing. I wish I had just a fraction of the talent you seem to have.”
“Thanks. That means a lot to me. But that house, did Benz tell you that Chase grew up there?”
Jenny’s eyes darkened. She folded her hands in her lap again. There was a shift in her posture and I realized Jenny made way for Detective Guffy.
“Did he tell you what happened in that house?” I asked. “Chase’s mom. She died there. No, she was murdered there twenty years ago.”
Jenny gave me a solemn nod. “I did hear something about that. Benz didn’t know much.”
/> “Chase was there. He witnessed the whole thing when he was eight years old. He can’t remember a lot of it, but he found her. Her name was Rochelle Raines. She worked at one of the club’s bars as a stripper. Chase’s dad was a prospect.”
“I heard all of that too. It’s awful. It’s a wonder Chase came out the other side of that. I’ve seen firsthand what can happen and a lot of kids don’t make it. Especially those from the north side.”
I picked at a piece of lint on my sleeve. “I know. And they never caught the guy who did it. That haunts Chase. I think it’s part of why he …” I let my voice trail off. Part of this felt like a betrayal. Maybe it wasn’t my place to spill Chase’s secrets. But if Jenny couldn’t help me, no one could.
“Look,” I said. “I’ve taken up enough of your time already. I appreciate what you said about Chase and the club. Truly. I don’t know where that’s going to end up, but there’s something I need to do, no matter what. It’s a long shot and I gotta be honest, sitting here, I feel kind of silly. But I found some things in that house. It’s probably nothing.”
Jenny sat far forward in her chair. I had her attention. “Keep talking.”
“Chase said they never found the guy and they never found a murder weapon. Look, I grew up in this town too. I’m not trying to trash any of your predecessor colleagues or anything, but a woman like Chase’s mom and the circumstances under which she died. Listen, it doesn’t surprise me that the unsolved murder of a north-side hooker by one of her johns didn’t warrant much of an outcry and demand for justice. Anyway, I told you, this is probably nothing, but I found these things tucked beneath the floorboards in the master bedroom. Chase said it happened there.”
I picked the box up and set it on Jenny’s desk. Her eyes went wide and she rose from her seat. She hesitated for a second, then took a breath and opened the box. Her shoulders dropped when she saw what was inside. Heat flamed in my cheeks. The longer I sat here, the more ridiculous I felt. The box had been an afterthought. Just yesterday, I’d nearly thrown it in the dumpster. This whole thing could just be a thinly veiled, desperate attempt on my part to stay connected to Chase. This was a side of me I wasn’t comfortable with at all.
“I find lots of things in these old houses,” I said. “A rusty bookend and a rag isn’t really an earth-shattering find, but …”
“But maybe,” Jenny said, closing the box.
“Right. It’s just the more I thought about it, the more odd it became. This thing is so heavy. If you hit someone with it ... I mean, that is just rust, isn’t it?”
Jenny raised a brow. “And you know that’s not something either of us can say for sure just by looking at them. That’s why you brought them in.”
“Right.” My voice was barely more than a whisper.
Jenny came around from behind her desk and stood beside my chair. I rose. She put a hand on my shoulder and smiled.
“Let me take care of these,” she said. “I can pull a few strings and get them analyzed quickly. You’re right. It’s a long shot. But I’ve also seen cases colder than Rochelle Raines’s get cracked by more tenuous things than these. You did the right thing bringing them to me.”
I hugged her. The gesture just bubbled out of me. Jenny hugged me back. Again, the tears threatened to fall.
“I’m sorry.” I drew back. “It’s just. Fuck. That man has me all turned around. I hate it.”
Jenny’s light laughter filled the room. “Oh honey, I know the feeling. Trust me. Now, you let me take care of this. You take care of you.”
“Thank you. But can you promise me …”
She put up a hand and nodded. “I won’t tell him anything. It wouldn’t be professionally appropriate to anyway. One way or the other, if anything turns up, I’ll let you know.”
“Thank you,” I said again. I wanted to hug her again too, but decided a handshake was better for now. I was too raw for anything else.
Jenny’s warm smile put me at ease as she shook my hand. I straightened my back and left her office, feeling like I’d set down one burden, even as another weighed on my heart.
Chapter 20
Chase
It had been over a week since I’d fucked everything up with Ariel. We got back from Abilene and my heart felt like a lead weight inside my chest. Bear and Axle hadn’t let up. I think if I hadn’t picked up the phone to call her, Bear would have done it for me.
Except she didn’t answer. Three calls in three days and each went straight to voicemail. It served me right. I was an ass. The girl had laid her heart open for me and what did I do? I threw it back in her face. Though my methods had been cruel, maybe my instincts had been right all along. Ariel was better off without me. Maybe the best thing I could do for her was to just leave her alone.
I sat in the clubhouse bar as Mama Bear poured me my third beer. “You planning on staring into that mug all afternoon, baby?” she said, leaning over until her forehead almost touched mine across the bar.
“Sorry,” I said, straightening. “Lot of shit on my mind.”
“Bullshit,” she said, laughing. “There’s exactly one thing on your mind. So why don’t you do us all a favor and fix it. Make things right with your girl.”
I took a long, slow sip of my beer. It wasn’t going to be nearly enough to take the edge off it for me tonight. I needed something a hell of a lot harder.
“Forget it,” Mama said, reading my mind. “I’ve watched you sit here getting shit-faced two nights in a row. I’m not having it. Not on my watch.”
“She won’t take my calls,” I said, slamming the mug down.
Mama Bear didn’t miss a beat. My phone was sitting on the bar next to me. She grabbed it then pulled her own out of her pocket. Turning her back to me and ignoring my protests, she pulled up Ariel’s number and dialed from her own phone. She slid mine back across the bar as she waited for the call to go through. She stood with one hand on her hip and a smug look on her face.
“Hey, honey,” she said, straightening. My heart flipped in my chest. For a second, I thought Mama had gotten Ariel’s voicemail too. She held up a finger to me.
“I’m sorry to bother you,” Mama said. “Well, no. That’s a damn lie. I mean to bother you plenty. Look, can you come to the house?”
Her eyes flicked left and right and she listened to whatever Ariel was saying. She dropped her head then leaned forward, resting her elbow on the bar. “I get it. I do. Can you just humor me the one time? Baby, I’ll be the first one to have your back if things take a turn. I know what these boys are like. More than anybody. Where are you now?”
Her smile widened. I tried to reach across the bar to take the phone from her. Mama was quick and dodged my arm. She turned her back to me. “Perfect. See you then.” She clicked off her phone and tucked it back into her pocket.
“What did she say?” I asked, trying not to sound too eager. I was wasting my time though. Josie Bullock would never miss an opportunity to call me on my bullshit.
“What do you think she said?”
My shoulders dropped. “She probably told you to tell me to go to hell.”
Mama laughed. “I’ll admit, it had the flavor of that. That girl’s hurting. But she’s on her way. She was looking at property on the east side so she’s not far. So why don’t you splash some cold water on your face and go look in a mirror. You look like shit. And hurry, baby.”
I slid off the barstool and headed back to my apartment. A couple of the guys called back some insults. They’d heard the whole exchange with Mama Bear and weren’t shy about busting my balls over it. Fuck ’em. I couldn’t care. Ariel was on her way.
I took Mama’s advice and leveled a hard stare at myself in the mirror above the vanity. She was right. I looked like complete dog shit. I hadn’t shaved in over a week and my beard grew in thick and wiry. I had dark circles beneath my eyes, not having slept more than three or four hours at a time in over a week. I lifted my arm and smelled under it.
“Shit,” I muttered. I
figured a five-minute shower was better than none at all. I peeled off my clothes and got to work. When I finished, I threw on a pair of clean jeans and a t-shirt. My cut hung over the island separating the kitchen space from the bed. For a moment, I thought about leaving it there. Maybe this would go better if Ariel didn’t have to look at my patch. In the end, I put it on anyway. I didn’t know what the hell I could say to her that would undo the hurt I’d caused her, but pretending I was something I’m not wouldn’t help.
I finger-combed my damp hair and ran a hand across my jaw. There was no time to shave, but at least I was more or less clean. Taking a deep breath, I headed for the door. I swung it open with force and my heart dropped straight into my boots. Ariel stood there with her fist raised, ready to knock.
“Hey,” I said, feeling sheepish.
“Hey, yourself.” She lowered her hand and crossed her arms in front of her. She kept her feet planted firmly in the hallway. Man, she looked so beautiful. She wore a faded yellow t-shirt with her company logo stretched across her breasts. Her jeans were tattered at the knees and she had those worn red cowboy boots on. She had her hair piled into the messy bun she always wore when she was working. It seemed I’d kept her from that today too.
“Hey,” I said again, moving out of the doorway. I gestured for her to come in.
Ariel straightened her back. “I can’t stay,” she said. “I’ve got an appointment to look at a house out on Chelsea Lane. I’ve got about ten minutes, Chase.”
“Right,” I said. “You didn’t have to come at all. So thanks for that.”
“You’re right,” she said, her voice rising. Two spots of color came into her cheeks. She was pissed. Fuck. She was downright furious. “I didn’t have to come. I shouldn’t have come.”
“You could have just answered your phone!” My own anger rose and I felt those familiar walls starting to close in around my heart. Fuck. This was already derailing.
Ariel slapped her hands down against her thighs. “Never mind. You know what? This was a mistake. My mistake. So I’ll just unmake it and leave.”
