“Thanks,” Charlotte said, and heard her phone ringing. She was glad the place was slightly noisy and laid-back and that she was sitting in a corner, because she’d forgotten to place her BlackBerry on silent before walking in. When she pulled it out of her purse, she saw it was Janine calling.
“Hey, girl,” Charlotte said, sipping her drink. “I was just thinking about you earlier.”
“So, how are you?”
“I’ve been better, but I’m hanging in there.”
“You don’t sound so great. Are things okay?”
“Truthfully? They’re not good at all.”
“Where are you?”
“At Chelsey’s.”
“Well, why didn’t you call so I could’ve met you? We’re in the midst of final exams this week, but I had a two-hour break between classes.” Janine was a professor at the local university.
“I don’t know. Now I wish I had, though.”
“You know I love that place.”
“We’ll have to plan on coming here next week maybe.”
“Sounds good. But you sound like you need someone to talk to now.”
“I’ll be fine, girl,” Charlotte said, sipping a huge gulp of her margarita and then closing her eyes because of how cold it felt sliding down her throat.
“I’ll be leaving campus around three-thirty, so call me then, okay?”
“I will.”
“Talk to you later.”
“Thanks, J.”
Charlotte placed her phone back inside her purse and sucked up the rest of her drink. Just then Amber walked by.
“Wow. I guess that margarita was pretty good, huh?”
“I guess it was.”
“Can I get you another?”
“No, actually, I’ll have a glass of red wine.”
“We have a great Cabernet. Would you like to try that?”
“That’ll be great.”
“I’ll be right back with it.”
Now Charlotte wondered if she’d drank her margarita much too quickly, because suddenly she felt a few physical effects. Her head was a little woozy, but at the same time, she felt a lot better emotionally. She felt relief from some of the stress she’d been under, and this was a good thing.
She sat waiting for her wine, and soon Amber brought it to the table. She also brought her food shortly thereafter, and it was very tasty. Charlotte ate half of her sandwich and a few of her fries, but once she’d finished her glass of wine, she ordered another one. This time, she sipped it slowly, savoring the flavor and enjoying the way it made her feel, and she wanted to laugh out loud for no reason. Yes, getting away this afternoon all by her lonesome was definitely what she’d needed, and if she got the chance, she would do it again tomorrow.
Charlotte looked at her watch, realizing it was almost time to pick up Curtina but then remembered Agnes was doing it for her. So, she relaxed back in her seat again and beckoned her waitress to the table.
“Check?” the young woman said.
“Noooo,” Charlotte sang. “But what I will have is another glass of wine.”
“Of course.”
Charlotte smiled, watched Amber walk away, and waited for her fourth drink to be delivered.
Chapter 11
Charlotte shoved the door open, staggered into the kitchen, and tossed her handbag onto the counter. Curtis frowned and Matthew raised his eyebrows. Curtina said, “Hi, Mommy,” and hugged her.
“Hi, sweetie… how was school today?” Charlotte asked, slurring her words and obviously trying to pretend she wasn’t intoxicated.
But Curtis knew she was as drunk as could be.
“It was good,” Curtina said. “How was your day, Mommy?”
“It was the best I’ve had in months, sweetheart. I tell you, it was just peachy.”
Matthew laughed. “Peachy?”
“Yep,” Charlotte said, “just peachy.”
Curtis was speechless. She couldn’t be serious. It was already after five, so had she literally spent the entire afternoon out drinking? And then driven home under the influence?
“Mom, were you drinking and driving?” Matthew asked, and Curtis wondered if his son had been reading his mind.
“I had a couple glasses of wine and then drove home. So, it’s not like I’ve committed some crime, Matt.”
“It looks like you had a lot more than that,” he said matter-of-factly.
Charlotte’s smile vanished. “Well, I haven’t! And, anyway, don’t you have some homework or something you need to be doing?”
Matthew raised his eyebrows again, then looked at his sister. “Curtina, let’s go upstairs.”
“But I wanna show Mommy what we did in art class today.”
“You can show her later. Let’s go.”
Matthew led his sister out of the kitchen and up to the second floor, and Curtis tore right into Charlotte. “Have you lost your mind? And how dare you yell at Matt for no reason.”
“Excuse me?” she said, opening the refrigerator, pulling out a bottle of water, and letting him know she couldn’t care less about what he was saying.
“You heard me. What’s wrong with you?”
Charlotte plopped down into one of the chairs. “Nothing’s wrong with me. What’s wrong with you?”
“Why were you out drinking?”
“Because I wanted to.”
“And you don’t see a problem with getting drunk and driving?”
“Nope… because I’m not drunk. I had a couple of drinks and that’s all.”
“You’re such a liar.”
“Were you with me? If you weren’t with me, you don’t know how many drinks I had.”
“I know you had more than two. Any fool can see that.”
“Why do you care, anyway? You’re divorcin’ me, remember?”
“I care because I don’t want you setting a bad example for my children, and I certainly don’t want you driving around putting other people’s lives in danger.”
“Whatever,” she said, sipping her water.
“You need prayer.”
“No, what I need is a husband who will do what he says. Someone who will stand by his word. You know, like when you and I took vows, and you said you would be with me until death. Remember that, Curtis?”
“So, because our marriage is over, you’ve turned into this?”
“I’ve decided to do whatever makes me feel good, and right now, I feel great!” she said much too loudly, and Curtis couldn’t stand the sight of her.
“Suit yourself, Charlotte,” he said, and left her sitting there.
“I hate the ground you walk on,” she yelled back at him, but Curtis continued down the hallway to his study, went inside, and closed the door.
When he sat at his desk, he blew out a sigh of frustration and relief. Frustration because he couldn’t understand why Charlotte had decided to get drunk, and relief because he was glad he no longer had to look at her. She was pathetic, reckless, and irresponsible, and he couldn’t imagine what had gotten into her. Yes, he knew she wasn’t happy about their divorce, but drinking wasn’t the answer. She’d done the same thing when she’d been upset about Curtina coming to live with them, and he’d been shocked about her getting drunk back then, too. But thankfully, that had been the only time.
Maybe he shouldn’t have slept with her last night. Maybe this was the reason she was acting so irrationally. In reality, he’d known it probably wasn’t the best idea and that their making love might get her hopes up or convey the wrong message, but to be honest, he’d needed to be with her. He’d gone without for far too long, and since he wasn’t planning on having sex outside of his marriage, he’d given in to Charlotte right when she’d approached him. She’d tried to lure him into bed many other times, too, ever since he’d cut her off, but for some reason, last night he hadn’t resisted her. He’d done so willingly and selfishly, and now he was sorry for it.
Curtis brought his hands toward his mouth, formed them in a praying position, a
nd closed his eyes. Lord, please give Charlotte strength and understanding. Help her to accept that our marriage is over, and please keep her from destructive behavior. Guide her and give her the kind of peace she’s looking for.
He rested his hands on his desk and eventually gathered his Bible and lesson for the evening. Bible study would begin in an hour, but after witnessing Charlotte’s condition, he wondered if maybe he should ask one of the associate ministers or elders to fill in for him so he could stay home. Just then, though, Charlotte burst into his office.
“Why you got your door closed? Tryin’ to hide somethin’, are you?”
“Charlotte, please.”
“Please, nothin’! I know you’re probably sneakin’ around talkin’ to your little girlfriend, whoever the whore is.”
Curtis got up, walked over, and took her by her arm. “That’s enough, Charlotte, and I want you out of here.”
“Let me go!” she spat, snatching away from him. “Don’t you ever put your hands on me.”
“You need to calm down.”
“No, you need to calm down. What you also need to do is man up and do the right thing.”
“You’re drunk.”
“Why do you keep saying that?”
“Because you are, and it’s ridiculous.”
“Awww,” she said, smiling, losing her balance and wrapping her arms around him. “Don’t be that way. Don’t you love me anymore?”
Curtis pushed her arms away and stepped backward.
Charlotte laughed like a crazy woman, but in a matter of seconds, she stopped, held her stomach, and vomited all over the carpet. She heaved multiple times and finally rested her body against the wall. When she saw the mess she’d made, she glanced over at Curtis and burst into tears. But Curtis didn’t budge. He just stood there, staring and wondering how much more of her he’d be able to take.
Chapter 12
Hangover wasn’t even the word, Charlotte thought as she lay in bed, as sick as ten flu patients. Her head throbbed like she’d been clobbered with a bat, she could barely lift it off the pillow, and she struggled to open her eyes. When she did, she blinked a few times, trying to bring them into focus, and saw a hint of sunlight beaming through a tiny slit between the draperies. She opened her eyes a bit farther, looked over at the clock, and saw that it was ten twenty-five. Good. This meant the children were already at school, and Curtis was already at the church, and she wouldn’t have to face any of them. However, she was sure that Agnes was downstairs somewhere, but that didn’t bother her because Agnes would never say anything negative or condescending. Even if she didn’t agree with what Charlotte did or said from time to time, she never let on. She was always as nice as usual.
Charlotte swung her legs to the side of the bed and placed her feet on the floor. She was extremely nauseated and wanted a drink of water, but she didn’t have the energy to walk down to the kitchen. However, right when she pulled her legs back onto the bed, preparing to lie down, there was a knock at her door.
“Miss Charlotte? You awake?”
“I am.”
“Do you need anything?”
“Some water if you don’t mind.”
“I’ll be back in a minute.”
Charlotte stayed sitting up, and soon Agnes returned and came into the room. She turned on the light, and Charlotte squinted.
“Here you go,” she said, passing her a glass of ice water. “I also brought your purse up. You must have forgotten it downstairs last night.”
“Thank you so much for bringing it,” she said, not remembering where she’d actually left it.
“Can I get you anything else?”
Charlotte gazed at her with sad eyes. “Can you get me my husband back?”
Agnes sat down on the bed, sighing. “I wish I could. But he really seems to have his mind made up. I’ve tried talking to him several times since his accident, but all he says is that your marriage is over.”
“I know I’ve done a lot, Agnes, but Curtis means everything to me. He’s been my whole world for a very long time, and I don’t know what I’m going to do without him.”
“I understand.”
“I just wish I knew what I could say or do to make him hear me. Make him love me again the way he used to.”
“All we can do at this point is keep our faith strong and stay prayerful. You’re going to have to trust God more than ever before and just wait for Him to fix things.”
“But what if He doesn’t? What if God doesn’t feel I deserve a second chance?”
“The God we serve believes in second, third, fourth, and even one hundredth chances, and don’t you ever forget that.”
Charlotte smiled. “I wish I could be as optimistic as you are, but Curtis has never seemed more serious about anything. He just doesn’t want me anymore.”
“Mostly it’s his pride and all the pain he’s been through, but I’m still praying he’ll come around.”
“I know I hurt him pretty badly, but we’ve been here before, and we’ve always been able to work out our issues.”
“Unfortunately, I think it’s different this time. At least for Mr. Curtis.”
Charlotte wanted to cry, but she refused to shed more tears. “I feel so lost and powerless, and it’s driving me insane.”
Agnes rested her hand on Charlotte’s. “I can imagine. But please try to hang in there, and just keep praying. The Bible says to pray without ceasing, and that’s what you’re going to have to do.”
Charlotte hugged Agnes. “Thank you for listening.”
“Anytime. Now, you lie back down and get some rest. And just holler if you need me.”
“I will.”
Charlotte lay there for a few minutes, thinking about one thing after another and finally drifted off to sleep.
The phone startled her, but since her handbag was across the room in the chair where Agnes had left it, Charlotte ignored it. Seconds after it stopped ringing, however, it rang again.
“What?” she said out loud, and went over to see who was calling. She calmed down, though, when she saw it was her mother and got back in bed. “Hey, Mom.”
“Hey yourself. How are you?”
“I’m fine.”
“It sounds like you just woke up.”
“I did.”
“Are you sick? Is everything okay?”
“Not really.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I had a pretty rough day yesterday.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, honey. What happened?”
“Curtis and I sort of had it out,” she said, not planning to mention anything about her afternoon of drinking.
“I’m really worried about both of you.”
“I’m worried, too, Mom, because I thought by now things would be better between us. But he’s not budging. He’s really filing for a divorce, and now he’s saying I need to start looking for my own place.”
“What?”
“He wants me to have something lined up by the time Matthew leaves.”
“You have to do something,” Noreen said, sounding horrified. “You have to make him see how sorry you are.”
“I’ve been doing that for a whole year now, Mom, and it’s not working. He’s done, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“Are you praying?”
Charlotte exhaled forcefully. She was so tired of hearing the same old thing, over and over. First Agnes and now her mother. She knew they both meant well, and she loved them with all her heart, but prayer wasn’t doing a single thing for her. She’d prayed daily right after Curtis’s accident, and while God had answered her prayer about Curtis’s health being restored, He hadn’t done a thing about her marriage. He hadn’t fixed any aspect of her problems with Curtis, so she didn’t see where praying was worth her while anymore. She didn’t see a reason to keep harping on something that was proving to be a massive waste of time.
“Did you hear me, honey?” Noreen said. “Are you praying about this?”
> “Yes,” she said, lying, because if she told her mother the truth, she’d have a lot of explaining to do, and she wasn’t in the mood for that. Her mother wasn’t perfect and not as much of a Christian as say her mother’s sister, Emma, but she fully believed in God and that He was everyone’s protector. She believed it wholeheartedly, but Charlotte didn’t necessarily feel the same. At least not now.
“Well, I’m going to keep praying, too,” Noreen insisted. “We’re going to pray until Curtis comes to his God-given senses.”
Charlotte didn’t know what she was supposed to say to that, so she said nothing.
“Do you want your dad and me to drive over to talk to Curtis?”
“No.”
“Are you sure? Because you know I’m willing to do anything when it comes to keeping you happy. I know how much you love Curtis.”
That was true, Charlotte thought, but she also knew how much her mother loved telling people that the Reverend Curtis Black was her son-in-law. It had always been that way, so Charlotte knew her mother’s unyielding support wasn’t just about her daughter’s long-term happiness; it was about her own wants and desires, too.
“I do love him, Mom, but I can’t force him to stay with me if he doesn’t want to.”
“Everything is going to be fine. It has to be.”
“But what if it’s not?”
“It will be, and if he doesn’t give up this divorce business soon, you’re going to have to do something drastic.”
“Like what, Mom?” Charlotte was tired of talking, and suddenly she didn’t feel well again.
“I don’t know, but as Curtis’s wife, it’s your job to do whatever you have to to keep him.”
“I thought the same thing, but not after yesterday morning. Not after the way he looked at me with calm eyes. He wasn’t even angry. He was just done with me.”
“But you have to keep fighting. You have to fight for your marriage until you get the upper hand.”
“Mom, I thought I could, but to be honest, I just don’t have the energy anymore.”
“Then you’d better find the energy. You’d better figure out a way to make this divorce thing go away.”
“Mom, can I talk to you later?”
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