by Donna Alward
The drive home was different.
In the moments when Aurelia had been wailing, they’d worked as a team. Now that it was over Anna could step back and evaluate what had happened. She realized a few things. The first being that Jace had simply reacted and treated Aurelia most efficiently. He’d scooped her up, taken out the stinger and had put a cold cloth on it to soothe. He’d done what she should have and that burned.
But he’d done more than that. Seeing him holding her daughter in his strong arm had done something to her. It had broken something she’d thought healed a long time ago. It made her wish. It made her wish that her children were his and not Stefano’s, and she resented him for it. He’d had his opportunity and he’d turned away from her and their chance at happiness. He’d dutifully taken up the position of friend, and she’d accepted it rather than settling for nothing at all. But seeing him with her daughter on his arm pierced her heart in a way she hadn’t thought possible.
“Maybe it would be better if I took the children and went to Alex’s.” She murmured it but Jace got the message.
“Because of today? Bee stings happen.”
She couldn’t tell him the real reason why, because she never wanted him to know how deeply her feelings ran.
“Why were you at the guesthouse in the first place?” he asked, looking at her briefly, then turning his attention back to the winding road.
It was as good an opening as any. It was the only thing she could think of at the moment to balance things out. A way to escape the feeling that he was taking over, or that she was starting to rely on him. She didn’t want to rely on anyone. She merely wanted a place for some peace so she could figure out what she was going to do next. Perhaps now was the time to draw that line in the sand.
“I had an idea this morning. That guesthouse is sitting empty, which is a shame. Look at what you’ve got here. A gorgeous, secluded winery on the river, minutes from the Shuswap. This is a tourist trap in the summer. Why not fix up the guesthouse and rent it out? Either by the night or week. And you could do wine tours. I picked up a local events paper today and a few other wineries in the area have them.”
“And who do you suppose would run it?”
“That’s what you hire people for.”
“People like you?”
She paused. What an interesting thought. A fleeting vision of herself playing hostess while Jace ran the vineyard and the children played on the grass…but no, it was pure fantasy. This was temporary, not a permanent relocation. “Of course not. I have a job with Morelli. But I can help you get it ready, get you set up. It’s what I do best.”
“Go on.”
“I have Morelli contacts and a good eye, and you know it.” She hesitated, took a breath, and delivered what she figured would be most important to him. “It would be an extra source of income for the winery while you’re still growing your production numbers.”
Jace considered Anna’s proposal. It was an interesting idea and not a new one. He’d thought of it already, but with taking over the winery and trying to maximize the grapes he already had, there’d been no time to explore it. He already knew he needed to get the store operational again, to sell his wines on-site. He wanted to do tours and promote Two Willows wines right on the premises. If the guesthouse could make money, he could pay one person to do both.
“How would your father feel about you using Morelli contacts to help me? I’m the competition.”
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, it was like he could hear Roberto’s response in his head. Two Willows? Competition? Hah. Roberto Morelli would never consider Jace his equal, and he knew it. So did Anna.
Anna looked away and out the window as she answered. “He doesn’t need to know.”
Silence reigned for a few minutes.
“How long?” He surprised himself by asking it, by even considering it. It meant Anna here, within reach but completely out of reach, for an extended period of time. It meant the children underfoot too.
“Not long. It would depend on shipping times for furniture and fabrics, but the house is already lovely. It just needs…some Morelli refinement.”
The sound of a gentle baby’s snore came from the back and he couldn’t help it, he smiled at her just a little. Didn’t Anna know he couldn’t refuse her anything? He blustered and carried on, but when she looked at him like she was now—soft and expectant—he was done for. He always had been.
He pulled into the drive at Two Willows and stopped, parking next to the Porsche. A quick glance in the back told him both children were asleep, worn out from their day. He held out his hand to Anna. “Then you have a deal, Ms. Morelli.”
In the moment, he’d forgotten she wasn’t Ms. Morelli anymore, but she didn’t correct him. Instead she placed her hand in his, the grip firm but the skin soft as silk. “Deal.”
Before he could change his mind, he leaned over and pressed his mouth to hers. Her soft lips opened beneath his, surprising him. She tasted like strawberry gloss, and memory slammed into him.
What had he done?
Her lips parted from his but she remained just a breath away. When he opened his eyes he saw her lashes still lay on the crests of her cheekbones.
His angel. She always had been and he’d just been careless.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
Her eyes opened, but they weren’t dreamy like he’d expected. Like he was feeling. They were dark and condemning.
“Me too,” she replied, and leaned away to get out of the car.
Chapter Five
Aurelia was put down for a nap between the pillows again and Matteo watched a DVD while munching on the goldfish crackers he’d picked out at the store. Jace had disappeared to the bottling shed once more after they’d arrived back at Two Willows and Anna took her frustration out on her polpettone.
She added ingredients to the meat, took off her rings, and kneaded it all together in the bowl with her hands, the muscles in her slim forearms cording with each push and roll. When she’d come here, her only thought had been a desperate need to escape from the pitying looks and her father’s endless edicts. Anna had considered that her history with Jace might create a problem, but she’d told herself she would keep it firmly in the past as she moved forward. She hadn’t considered those feelings would rise up again with such force. All the things she’d wanted back then were still in her heart. And seeing Jace with her baby in his arms brought it all crashing forward. Then he’d gone and kissed her.
She bit down on her lower lip, still tasting him there. No. It was impossible.
She didn’t know what had possessed him and she’d been unable to utter a single word after she’d gotten out of the car. There was too much to say and so she’d been unable to say anything at all.
She formed the meat into a rectangle and put it in a pan, then washed her hands before sliding the dish into the oven to bake. If wishes were horses and all that. A family wasn’t what Jace had wanted then and it still wasn’t. She only had to look around this place to see that. So why had he kissed her? Especially now, when she was a widow with two small children he’d never wanted? Was he playing with her feelings? She didn’t want to believe it. But what else was she supposed to think? He had to know she wouldn’t take such a thing lightly.
Maybe she should. It was only a kiss after all.
But there wasn’t such a thing as just a kiss with Jace. She sighed. Maybe she should just go back to the Island. She still had her job and the house.
But the very thought made her stomach curl with anxiety. Her father with his long looks and pronouncements. Stefano’s family. Stefano’s mistress. And all the whispers behind the hands of their friends and associates. All the sympathetic faces and words of condolence about a senseless tragedy when none of them knew the truth. She picked up a peeler and began viciously peeling potatoes. No, she couldn’t face that again. She didn’t know what her life was, or what it would become, but she knew it wasn’t that.
The d
oor opened and shut and she held her breath. What could she say to Jace now? She didn’t want to talk about the kiss, and she didn’t want to talk about that day, the one single day in her life that had changed everything. She definitely didn’t want to talk about Stefano. Yet they couldn’t continue on for long the way they were.
“You’re cooking?”
She tried a smile. “It’s been known to happen a time or two.”
His face relaxed slightly. “You have people for that,” he teased.
“My father has people,” she corrected. She held out an olive branch. “I thought I’d make polpettone.”
“No one makes polpettone like…” Eagerly he went to the oven and opened the door a crack, eyeing the Italian version of meatloaf.
“Francesca.” She named the cook the Morellis had employed while she and Alex were growing up. “I know. It’s her recipe.”
“It is?” He shut the oven door and straightened, staring at her hard.
“I did stay in touch with her, you know, after she retired. She gave me her recipe. Also showed me her secret to potato puree.”
“You surprise me.”
The words warmed her. It was nice that for once she wasn’t completely predictable. “I’ll take that as a compliment. Though I can’t guarantee it will taste like hers. I would never presume to aspire to such heights.”
He wiggled his eyebrows. “I often ate it cold.”
“Yes, you always claimed it was better the second day.”
He smiled as the memory drew them together. It was a genuine smile, and her heart caught.
“Jace,” she began, putting down the potato and drying her hands on a towel. She desperately wanted to put things back on a practical footing. “I’m sorry we’ve put you in this position. I was feeling so stifled that I needed to get away, and I just descended on you without warning. I think…I think I was afraid you’d say no if I asked first. I’m glad you’ve decided to let me repay you by helping with the guesthouse.”
The kitchen was quiet, only the distant sounds of the television marring the perfect peace.
“It is very hard to say no to you.” The admission was soft and telling.
“It wasn’t always.” The answer came automatically and she wanted to cut out her tongue. What had happened to making sure they didn’t talk about their past relationship?
“It means a lot to me that you felt you could come to me. I know I’ve been difficult the last twenty-four hours.”
“Who wouldn’t be? We took you completely by surprise.”
“Yes, you did. I wasn’t prepared. I wasn’t prepared for children. But I didn’t mean you weren’t welcome.”
She bit down on her lip. Not welcome was exactly how she’d felt. Until the moment their mouths had touched. Then it had felt very, very welcoming.
“About what happened in the car…”
He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Your idea for the guesthouse is a good one. I got carried away, that’s all.”
It was what she’d wanted to hear and yet it still deflated her. But now, like then, she preferred keeping the friendship between them. The friendship was what would sustain them. She had to focus on that.
“We go back a long way, don’t we?”
“Yes, Anna, we do. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
She swallowed heavily. It had been years since she’d heard him speak her name in just that way, and warmth curled through her insides. Did he have any idea how much she’d missed him over the years? How she’d needed him only to have him treat her like she was his best friend’s baby sister?
“I could have used you on my side.”
She lifted her eyes and lost herself in the regret she saw reflected back to her. “I let you down,” he admitted. “It’s not something I like about myself.”
How could she answer without getting embroiled in the one topic they never discussed? She chose her words carefully. “You were honest. I understood why you kept away.”
For moments their eyes clung. Questions hovered on Anna’s lips, but she was too afraid to hear the answers so remained silent. She begged him to forgive her with her eyes. Hoping he understood without words what it was she wanted to say.
“I’m here now,” he said gently. “And I hope I’m not too late.”
He came forward then and put his arms around her, enfolding her in a hug. She closed her eyes as her head rested against the inside of his shoulder. Her arms curved around his back and she held on, drawing strength from him. He felt so good. He hadn’t held her for many years, and it took her back to the rolling green hills of the Morelli estate. The feelings rushed through her and she tried to ignore most of them and concentrate on what she really needed right now. Strength and support. Her champion back. Even if they were both more than a little flawed.
She pushed away a little, feeling better but still realizing he deserved to know the truth about Stefano’s death. It wasn’t fair to keep it from him any longer. There had to be some measure of trust, of honesty between them. Despite their fights, they’d built bridges the last few days. He had to hear it from her.
“I need to tell you about Stefano, and what brought me to Two Willows.”
“I am sorry about your husband. I can’t imagine how you must feel. Of course you would want to get away from reminders of him.”
His chocolaty eyes held her motionless and she knew she had to explain. It was as good an opening as any to tell him how things had really been. It wasn’t fair for her to let him go on thinking she’d had a perfect marriage. Or that she was nursing a broken heart. And if he thought less of her in the end, so be it.
“They aren’t the kind of reminders you think. I certainly didn’t run because of a broken heart. I ran because being home made me feel like an imposter. All the looks and words made me feel guilty for not grieving more. Oh, Jace, I couldn’t breathe.”
“You did love your husband, didn’t you?”
It was a question for which she had no clear answer. She had to keep her hands busy. She gave him a pot and the two potatoes she’d already peeled, so he could wash them. She picked up another and began peeling. He worked beside her without a word of protest, somehow understanding that in the difficulty she had to keep occupied.
“I did, but not as I should have. I loved him for what he was at first. Then I found out who he was and I hated him.”
“I don’t understand.”
She handed over another potato.
“Stefano was a wonderful catch on paper. My father knew it. I knew it. So did Stefano. He was from a good family, an Italian family, and that was important to Papa.”
“I remember.” The bitterness bled through Jace’s voice. Roberto Morelli had looked down his nose at Jace’s family. Mike Willow had looked after Morelli’s stables, an expensive hobby of Roberto’s that made him look good. Jace had worked part-time there as soon as he was old enough. Roberto hated that Alex and Anna were friends with someone so beneath them.
But Alex and Anna weren’t such snobs as children. Jace had spent hours with them, roaming the vineyard, sneaking into the kitchen, playing in the stables. All the places where Roberto wasn’t. Jace had never truly felt the difference between them until he’d come back and found Anna engaged to Stefano.
“Please,” she begged him softly. “You have to understand. Papa was very…persuasive. Stefano had money and security. We had a perfect life and in my way I thought I loved him. But I did it with my head, and not my heart. And my head was very, very wrong. It was more of an alliance than a marriage. He’d wanted a connection with Morelli.”
“And you wanted…”
The air seemed to still all around them. What had she wanted? She’d given up on love and happy ever afters. Everything she’d wanted had crumbled around her. She’d hardly cared. Stefano had seemed as good an idea as any. He had been older, and charming and attentive at first. And in a way it had been her final act of defiance. She’d wanted to hurt Jace
the way he’d hurt her. Only she’d ended up being the one hurt in the end. Jace had come through without a scratch.
Now he seemed to be holding his breath, waiting for an answer. For some odd reason she almost felt like she was being tested. But why, she couldn’t comprehend. When she’d met Stefano, she and Jace had been over. Alex had gone to Kelowna to study another wine operation and he’d taken Jace with him. They stayed nearly two months, while she’d been alone, heartbroken and angry.
“I don’t know what I wanted. I thought he would give me a comfortable life. And for a while he did. Then I found out he was having an affair with our nanny just after Alex and Melissa were married.”
The potato dropped, unwashed, into the pot, and Jace turned a quarter turn. She could feel him staring at her profile but she didn’t dare look up.
“What did you do?”
“We didn’t have a great love affair, Stefano and me. It was…it was understood that it was based greatly on appearances. But the one thing I refused to tolerate was infidelity. He never even attempted to deny it. Nor did he take any great steps to hide it. Honestly, I think my pride could have taken it if it had been anyone other than the woman I entrusted with my children. I confronted him with it.”
The peeler scraped at the potato furiously. “I demanded he stop. He wondered why he should. Then he asked what I was going to do about it.”
“Good for you. What did you say?”
“I didn’t have an answer. I guess I thought being caught would be enough. But no. So in the end I threatened to divorce him.”
Jace’s braced his hands on the edge of the counter as he let out his breath in a whoosh. She could sense his shock. Divorce wasn’t something taken lightly and she couldn’t escape the feeling that her answer disappointed him as well. He was going to think even less of her, if that were possible. She blinked, determined to get through to the end so she could get it over with once and for all.
“I know,” Anna continued weakly. “He laughed at me. He came right out and asked what I thought my father would say to that. Papa clings pretty tightly to what he calls ‘the old ways’. But Stefano took it too lightly. It made me mad. I swore to him I’d end our marriage if it was the last thing I did.”
