He groaned and wiggled his fingers in between my thighs, the heat of me warming him and the movement making me hotter still. I giggled when he tried wiggling them closer to the heat. It wasn't like I didn’t know where we were heading. We had spent most of last night wrapped around one another. So as I turned around to face him, I knew instantly from his playful smile and wandering warmed hands, we'd be a while before venturing downstairs for left over breakfast casserole.
"I am cold in other places as well," he whispered before kissing me.
Oh yes, warming one another in the dead of winter was perhaps my favorite thing about the season.
I never wanted to leave the bed.
Unfortunately, our daily lives still included things like eating and taking care of our livestock, even if the rest of the time could be spent together. But as the nights grew colder, and the days grew shorter, I found myself wishing for the bed more and more, if only to sleep in the warmth Nathan provided.
I yawned over the stew I was making and shook my head to wake myself.
I didn't know why I was so tired. I had slept well the night before, Nathan taking pity on my sore body and simply snuggling with me all night. It was a little strange; I nodded off shortly after dinner for the last few days, and our nights of keeping warm by making love had left me in need of a day or two off to recuperate.
So when Nathan noticed I was dragging from fatigue, he showered me with gentle caresses and let me sleep. He took over the barn duties completely, worried I might catch a cold in the still bitter weather outside. I knew he worried about me getting sick, so I didn't argue.
And truth be told, the less I went out into the cold, the better I felt.
So I stayed inside and baked and cleaned and sorted out plans for the spring.
But the yawning needed to stop.
I heard the back door open and close, listening as Nathan stomped his feet in the mudroom before venturing into the kitchen.
"If it is possible, it is colder out there!" he called as he pulled off his coat and layers of clothes.
I shivered when I felt his arms wrap around me, his nose burying deep into the crook of my neck in what was becoming his favorite way of warming his face when he came inside.
"You are so warm," he hummed and took a deep breath. "And whatever you are making smells amazing."
I smiled and offered him a spoon to taste.
"I used to call this Hodge Podge at home," I said, smiling when he took another spoonful and nodded in approval.
"What is in it?" he asked, licking his lips clean.
"Anything you want to use to get rid of," I said smiling. "We had a few vegetables and ground beef I wanted to use up, as well as tomatoes, corn and noodles. It’s a hodge podge of goodness."
He pulled me close and kissed me sweetly, grinning down at me as his hands wandered.
"I will be fat like Magnus if you keep this up," he joked.
I shook the spoon at him and scowled.
"You better still be feeding Magnus my goodies. I promised him," I said warningly.
Nathan pulled in behind me and held me close while I stirred the pot once more.
"He is a horse, Kate. He will be fine with all I give him," he said and I simply shook my head.
Magnus was a lot more than simply a big, dumb plough horse.
I wasn't going to argue that with Nathan, though.
Especially when he was currently cupping my breasts and kissing my neck.
"You feel good against me," he groaned and cupped my breasts a little more firmly, making me jump at their sensitivity.
He pulled away and looked down at me worriedly.
"Did I hurt you?"
I shook my head and pulled him close again.
"No, I'm just a little sensitive today," I said and smiled. "I am probably close to my monthly."
He nodded and chewed on his lip at my mentioning the dreaded monthly event.
He was still a little unnerved by my moods when they came.
I was sure that was why I was so tired as well, as I thought on it.
I turned and plated up our supper, while Nathan cleaned up from his chores.
Supper was a quiet affair, Nathan watching me thoughtfully as I fought back a few yawns and picked at my meal. I wasn't especially hungry, having snacked on the pumpkin loaf I had made earlier. He didn't say anything about my appetite, but I could tell by his watchful gaze he worried about me. Again I assured him I was simply tired and we made our way early up to bed to snuggle and enjoy simply holding one another.
I slept hard and woke up feeling tired again the following day, and then the day after that as well.
Fannie and Jonah came over to have Sunday meal with us, the weather still too troublesome to go much farther than the neighbor's house to visit. We settled into our meal and caught up on how things were developing in the community. Jonah, being the healer, got out much more than anyone else.
"Benjamin has been staying with the Yoders," Jonah began, smiling.
"He is getting along better with his father, then?" Nathan asked as he speared a potato.
"It seems so. They have been busy with plans for the mill, and Benjamin has asked about the land across from yours. It seems he wants to settle down somewhere," Jonah replied simply.
I listened as the men continued to talk, feeling Fannie move in beside me with the rest of the dishes to help clean up. She was quiet, but I could tell in my periphery that she was watching me.
I finally turned to her and tilted my head in question.
She chuckled and shook her head.
"You look tired," she said. "But you glow as if happy. Has Nathan been keeping you up late?"
I blushed and turned back to the dishes.
"I've been a little tired the last week or so. I think it's the combination of being holed up in this house and my monthly coming," I said and frowned as I thought on that a little harder.
Fannie noticed my frown and cleared her throat, drawing my attention back to her.
"Winter does that, true," she murmured and smiled again.
She slipped into conversation about Hannah, and how she was showing signs of having twins. She had grown in size in just the last month, and when the road cleared, Jonah planned to take her to the clinic to have an ultrasound.
"You should come with us," Fannie suggested with a smile. "To get you out of the house."
I nodded and asked about Emma. I missed my sister.
"She and John are doing well. They should be at the house next week if the weather improves," she said and changed the subject to other events around town.
I knew she didn't want to discuss how worried Emma was about getting pregnant.
But I had faith that it was just a matter of time.
After all, I wasn't pregnant yet, either. And it was already late January.
Fannie and Jonah left after dessert, Fannie hugging me tightly and reminding me about joining them in town with Hannah in a couple of days. We waved them off and quickly hurried back inside to the warmth of our home, Nathan ushering me up the stairs when he noticed me yawning.
We collapsed into bed, Nathan propped up on his elbow as he traced his fingers over my skin. We had spent the last week or so simply enjoying one another’s touch rather than being more amorous. His hand lingered over one breast, his eyes enthralled when he cupped it lightly.
"You look beautiful right now," he whispered, leaning in to brush the top of my breast with his lips. "Your breasts look fuller tonight."
I scoffed at him and made to brush his hand away teasingly.
"I'm gaining weight from eating so much and not working," I retorted.
He let his hands move down my waist and lingered on my hips, his eyes growing darker as he took in my body before him.
"It is not a bad thing," he whispered. "There is more color in your skin, and heat."
He leaned down to kiss my hip, skirting his fingertips across my belly before he laid his head against the softness th
ere, watching as his fingers as they glided across my thighs. I felt my body responding to him, the heat building as his fingers traced slowly upwards.
"Are you too tired?" he whispered, and I knew he was asking if he could make love to me.
"I would never deny you. I need you," I replied huskily and sighed when he moved against me, slow and tender.
He was gentle as he made love to me, whispering softly against my ear as he found me. My name tripped off his lips again and again as we moved against one another. When we finally needed more, he simply held me tighter and rocked against me with a little more enthusiasm, sighing into my ear when he felt me quiver beneath him. He curled up against me, one hand lazily thrown over my stomach as he relaxed afterwards. He was quiet for sometime, his mouth leaving soft kisses against my neck. His quiet voice broke me out of my reverie.
"It has been over a month. Is that typical?" he asked against my neck.
My hand stalled in his hair at his question.
"What do you mean?"
He lifted his head up and looked down at my body once more, a deeper love in his eyes than I had ever seen.
"Jonah said something tonight that made me think," he said, his brow creasing slightly.
"What?" I asked, growing a little anxious at his serious look.
"It has been over a month, Kate. And your body is fatigued. Jonah mentioned your color was more pronounced," he continued, tracing his fingers over my stomach once more.
My brain slowly clicked into place, at where he was going in the conversation.
His eyes travelled back up to meet mine, a tender smile on his face as he laid his had gently over my stomach.
"Perhaps," he whispered and leaned in to kiss me when my eyes grew wider at the thought as it popped into my head.
I was late.
I was tired.
I was glowing.
Nathan's smile seemed to confirm it. Like he could sense it.
I was pregnant.
Following that night of revelations, his demeanor changed in regard to everything I did. Every day he asked how I felt, and over and over again he denied me certain jobs around the house. Normal chores that I would have always done, he now took over for me. First it was too cold. I might get sick and that was bad. Then I couldn't carry the laundry down the stairs, I might fall. I couldn't carry it back up the stairs either, for I might hurt myself straining. Now it was the horse stalls.
"I will do that, you should not exert yourself."
I rolled my eyes and handed him the shovel roughly, too tired to fight him on whether or not I was too fragile to scoop up horse poop.
"Can I feed them while you do that then? Is that too strenuous?" I asked in an exasperated sigh, and I knew he would take it hard.
I didn't mean to be mean, but I was finding that all I could do lately was stand around. Maybe cook if it didn't involve carrying a heavy roast.
And I didn't want to think about the sex.
Nathan would get me all bothered by him touching me, tracing my skin and fondle my apparently bigger breasts, only to say he didn't want to hurt me and then tuck me firmly into his arms so I could rest.
I was ready to burst from need.
I didn't need more sleep. I really needed more of him.
Maybe I was feeling more now that I was pregnant.
Well, we thought I was pregnant.
The roads were clear enough so that we could take Hannah for her ultrasound. I would find out tomorrow for sure. But it had been six weeks now since my last period; I had finally marked it down. There was no denying it anymore.
I was most definitely pregnant and being treated like a piece of crystal.
Nathan hadn't said anything in response to my quip about feeding the horses, but when I went out to grab the feedbag, he was right behind me, hauling it over his shoulder so I didn't have to carry it.
I turned and left him in the barn.
It was obvious nothing in there was safe enough for me to do.
I made myself busy gathering eggs and taking them back to the house.
I'd just cook then.
And maybe mop the floors, for the tenth time in two days.
Men infuriated me.
And I really missed my passionate Nathan who liked having sex outside the bedroom now.
Well, not now.
That could hurt me.
At least the floors would be clean. And there was always baking.
I had enough loaves of bread in the freezer now to feed a small country.
Stupid overprotective men.
Even on the day of our trip, he seemed overprotective.
"Do you want me to go with you? I can go. You might need me."
Nathan had asked me so many times now I almost wanted to simply say yes so he would stop asking me.
"No," I said dismissively for the hundredth time. "I'm going with Fannie and Hannah. I'll be fine. And you have to meet up with Mark and John. I will be fine."
He frowned as he did every time he asked and held me a little closer when we knocked on the Berger’s door. I know he wanted to hear the news first. And in many ways I wanted him there with me, but I was also afraid that if the news was negative, he would have to hear it then, and I didn't want to see his disappointment with Hannah there. I would feel like a failure. I had spent the last few days being either immensely excited or terrified about the prospect that I was pregnant.
And now that we were heading to the clinic to get Hannah checked out, I knew that Fannie had intended to confirm what everyone suspected. Nathan stayed near me while we made arrangements to leave. Hannah quirked her eyebrow at me when he helped me into the buggy, but I ignored her silent question. I was nervous enough without having to explain his obsessive care of me.
Jonah was climbing into the buggy when we heard another rolling in beside us. I watched as John and Emma climbed out, John looking after Emma as she scrambled up, wedging herself into place beside Hannah and me.
"I thought we were picking you up at your home?" Jonah asked as he waved to the young men left behind and started us out.
"John wanted to come here. He said he had to speak with Mark and Nathan," she said quietly and looked back where we had come.
I glanced back to see all three of our husbands looking after us as we left, Mark the only one smiling as he pretended to punch Nathan in the shoulder. I shook my head to the thoughts milling around in there and turned to Emma.
She seemed deep in thought as we rode, her arms wrapped around herself as if cold. It was indeed cold as we travelled toward town, but I knew she had to be withdrawn by the circumstances of our town trip. I wrapped my arm around her and drew her to me, feeling her stiff body in my grasp.
Perhaps I was not the only one who was nervous for this visit.
Had Fannie asked Emma to come also? Could she possibly be pregnant?
I hoped Emma was pregnant. It would be exciting to go through this with someone close, and Hannah was so far along already, she’d have her babies before I was even showing. I glanced at Emma again and caught her looking at me.
Her stare caught me off guard. It was a little glazed as if she was daydreaming.
"What is it?" I whispered.
She blinked and looked down, blushing.
"I was thinking about what it would be like if you and I were with child," she replied softly and nodded toward Hannah.
"Look at how happy she is," she continued and I looked over my shoulder at Hannah, who was knitting as we rode. It looked like a small pair of booties in her hands. But her face was radiant and she wore a small smile on her face while she worked.
It was true.
Hannah was happy.
"You seem happy as well," Emma whispered, drawing my attention back to her.
I nodded and smiled.
"I am. Nathan makes me so. I have never been more happy," I replied and knew that was the truth. I had never been happier than I was living here.
Emma sighed and leaned into me, as i
f she had lost all her energy. It was worrisome how much she seemed defeated and forlorn suddenly. I held her close to me on the trip, knowing that when we got to the clinic, things would change.
We'd find out about Hannah.
And everyone would find out about me.
And instead of being overjoyed about it, I worried.
I worried that Emma would not get the same news.
So as I sat there in the exam room, I couldn’t help but listen to the conversation in the room beside me. The walls were extremely thin and I could hear the sound of the ultrasound beating away. I heard Hannah's laughter, followed by Fannie's, and knew that they had confirmed the possibility of twins.
Hannah was asking about whether they were boys or girls.
I was distracted from the answer by a knock on the door. I relaxed when I saw Jonah step in.
"How are you, daughter?" he asked softly and sat close beside me in the empty doctor's chair.
"Nervous," I said truthfully. "How is Emma?"
He looked down at his hands to hide the sad frown.
"She is getting changed and said she would meet us in the front," he replied quietly.
He didn't need to tell me what her little stick had said. I held mine in my shaking hand.
Definitely positive, the doctor had said brightly with a smile and a nod of congratulations. We were just waiting on the real test they did with my blood to confirm it.
"She'll be sad," I said, his head nodding for a moment before he sighed.
"She knows it will take time. She has been through much the last two seasons. It will take some time," he said and looked up at me with a soft smile.
He patted my knee and glanced at the stick in my hand.
"You and Nathan were expecting this answer?"
I nodded and swallowed.
I was still feeling some worry interlaced with happiness.
How did I act around Emma?
"It is good news, I know the family will be overjoyed."
I smiled down at my adoptive father's proud eyes and reached out to put my free hand over his. We heard the doctor finish up with Hannah, and a few moments later he came back in to speak with us. He glanced at Jonah with a broad smile and shook his hand.
"You will be a busy man this season! With the twins and then with your daughter here, I know Fannie is beside herself with preparations already!" the older man said as he settled in to the seat that Jonah had vacated.
Renewing Hope (In Your World #2) Page 29
