Letting Go (Robson Brothers Book 2)

by A. T Brennan

  “Yeah.” He grinned wryly. “Does that bother you?”

  “That you have sex?” I tried to shake the jealousy I felt at the thought of him having sex with anyone. I had no claim on him and he was free to do what he wanted, or who he wanted.

  “That I have a bit of a reputation.”

  “A reputation?”

  “I have a few rules when it comes to girls I hook up with.”

  “Oh?”

  He was standing right in front of me, so close I could feel the heat coming off his body.

  “I only do one night stands, I don’t like kissing more than necessary, and I get the job done.”

  “Get the job done?” I swallowed as I imagined all the jobs he could be talking about.

  “I’m not done until I hear the girl screaming my name.”

  His eyes were almost burning into mine and he was doing that damn smoldering thing again.

  “And you don’t kiss them?”

  “I do, but not in the deep and passionate makeout session kind of way. There are other ways I can use my mouth to drive a girl crazy.”

  I swallowed and tried to force the image of him with his face between my legs out of my head. God damn he was a good flirt.

  “I have a reputation too,” I said, trying to shift the conversation off him and his sex skills.

  “Oh really? And what’s yours?”

  “I’m an ice queen. People think I’m cold and a bitch because I don’t play the games or do the dance.”

  “I don’t think you are.”

  “You’re one of the few.” I was suddenly hit with the impulse to ask him up to my apartment. I knew Jules would be gone for a while, she didn’t like to bring guys around because then they’d have her address. If she went to their place she could leave when she was done and not have to see them again if she didn’t want to. “Do you want to come upstairs?”

  “Is this a friendly invitation?”

  “Yes.”

  “Like our dance was friendly?”

  “Maybe. Is it leading you on if I say I don’t know?”

  “No.” He shook his head and gently took my hand. “You don’t owe me anything, ever,” he said seriously. “If you want to make this a friends thing then that’s fine. If you want it a little less friends and more friendly, that’s fine too. Just tell me and I’ll respect it.”

  “Thank you.” I gripped his hand and nodded to my building. “Why don’t you come up and we can hang out for a bit.”

  “Sounds good.”

  Chapter Four

  JAY

  By the way Paige had worded her invitation I knew this was strictly a platonic thing. My cock was disappointed, and so was I, but I’d told her the truth. Just because we’d danced and flirted didn’t mean she owed me a damn thing.

  I followed her up to her second floor apartment, noticing how she didn’t drop my hand as she led the way. When we were inside she looked at the couch and then at me.

  “What are you thinking?”

  “Do you want to watch a movie?”

  “Sure, you got Netflix?”

  “We do.”

  We made our way to the couch and I sat on one end, waiting to see what she would do. After a second she sat on the middle cushion and picked up the remote.

  It didn’t take long for us to settle on a movie, mostly because I really wasn’t interested in what we would be watching. When the movie was playing she sat back and then glanced at me.

  “You look like you want to say something.”

  “I’m not trying to lead you on—”

  “Paige, trust me when I say nothing short of you climbing on top of me and begging me to fuck you is an invitation for more. You can’t lead me on because I’m not expecting anything from you.”

  “Can we cuddle?” She blushed prettily. “I like feeling that closeness when I watch a movie with someone.”

  I didn’t answer, I just held my arm out to her and pulled her close as she slid toward me. Her body tucked up against mine, her breasts pushing into my side as she lay her head on my chest. She felt incredible. Her body was warm and a little soft, and the rhythmic lifting and lowering of her shoulders as she breathed was strangely comforting.

  I really wasn’t a cuddler. I didn’t mind a little contact before or after sex, but sitting with someone and holding them with no intention of doing anything more wasn’t usually something I wanted to do. It was weird, but in that moment I didn’t want anything else.

  I was still thinking about how good she felt against me and ignoring the movie when I heard her breathing change and a small and endearing snore left her perfect pink lips. She was fast asleep.

  Smiling I shifted so I could lean back and closed my eyes. I could stay like this all night.

  * * * * *

  I woke up with a start as the front door slammed open. I was so shocked I jumped, and it took a moment to remember where I was and why I was holding a petite body against me as I slept sitting up.

  “Shit, sorry!”

  “Jules?” Paige asked sleepily as she jerked away and pulled away from me.

  “Sorry, I didn’t realize you were...using the apartment,” the girl from the party said as she closed the door.

  “I’m not. Jay and I were just watching a movie.”

  Jules looked at the TV screen and then smirked at us. “Of course you were.”

  It was at that moment I realized the movie had ended and the menu was on the screen.

  “We fell asleep.” Paige rubbed her eyes and looked over at me.

  “I should go,” I said after a brief pause. I didn’t want to leave and she didn’t seem to want me to go, but the entire situation was hella awkward and I thought it would be best to not be there.

  It was funny, Jax and Matt had both walked in on me balls deep in girls before and we’d just pretended it had never happened. All Paige and I were doing was sleeping on the couch fully clothed and I felt like I’d been caught doing something naughty.

  “Oh, okay.” Paige nodded and glanced between me and her roommate again.

  “Do you want to do something tomorrow?” I asked before I could even think about it. “Maybe in the evening if you have to study?”

  “Yeah. Sure.” She smiled. “Text me?”

  “Will do.” I stood and stretched. “It was nice to meet you,” I said lamely as I looked at her roommate.

  “You too, Jay.” She gave me a grin that said she knew something I wasn’t privy to.

  I had no idea what was going on, but I was going home. Jax could just move his activities to his bedroom when I got there if he was still busy and out in the open.

  * * * * *

  The next morning I was up early. Considering I’d only had two beers I was feeling great, but I was still confused.

  I’d gotten home just as Jax was letting his new/old friend out and had gone straight to bed. I knew he’d be asleep for at least a few more hours and was enjoying the quiet as I drank my coffee and thought about my weird night.

  The only contact I’d had with Paige was a dance, holding her hand as she’d brought me to her apartment, and cuddling on the couch as we’d attempted to watch a movie. I hadn’t kissed her, touched anywhere remotely intimate, and other than her rocking her ass against my boner a few time she hadn’t touched me.

  Normally that would have been frustrating and the sign of a bad night. It would have meant I’d struck out and it was time to move on, but that was the last thing on my mind.

  I wanted to see her again and just hang out. I would never say no to a little action and would love to just hold her again, but that wasn’t why I wanted to see her.

  That was unprecedented for me. Ever since my one and only girlfriend had decimated my heart back in highschool I’d never wanted to just get to know a girl and be her friend. I wanted to tease and flirt and have a good time, and I wanted them to leave smiling and telling all their friends what an incredible night they had.

  It wasn’t like me at all, but I refu
sed to think about what it could mean. Paige was a friend and that was that. It might not have been something I’d ever done or wanted to do, but there was a first time for everything.

  I glanced at my phone and saw it was eight in the morning. I was feeling restless and needed to go out and do something. I’d wait an hour and see if Matt wanted to go to the gym. He was always a great workout partner and I had a feeling he’d spent his night fucking and not drinking, so he should be up for it. I also had a ton of homework and reading to do so I could get ahead in my classes and not have to worry about falling behind.

  I had a plan, now I just had to wait about ten hours before I could see Paige again.

  * * * * *

  Jay: what’re you doing?

  Paige: wishing I’d never taken three writing classes this semester.

  Jay: want a break?

  Paige: please and thank you :)

  Jay: come over to my place? My brother is going out

  Paige: sure. Address?

  Jay: 1151 Cahill unit 2

  Paige: is an hour okay or do you need more time?

  Jay: an hour is great. Have you eaten?

  Paige: not yet

  Jay: you like Chinese food?

  Paige: big fan :)

  Jay: what’s your favorite?

  Paige: any kind of noodles

  Jay: perfect. I’ll order us some food and we can have dinner together

  Paige: sounds great. Do you want me to bring anything?

  Jay: just yourself

  Paige: ok. I’ll see you in an hour

  Jay: looking forward to it :)

  “What’s got you acting so weird?”

  “What?” I looked up from my phone to find Jax staring at me.

  “You’re staring at your phone like a giddy schoolgirl and you don’t want to come out with us tonight.”

  “I told you, I have plans.”

  “Sure.” He smirked at me. “You need the apartment?”

  “It’s not that kind of plans.”

  “You’re inviting a chick over to hang out and you’re not planning on fucking her.” He chuckled as he grabbed his phone off the coffee table. “Sure, whatever you say.”

  “I’m not—”

  “I’m going to crash at Logan’s since Matt’s ditching us for Avery, again.” He rolled his eyes. “You know, just in case.”

  “Fuck off.”

  Jax just laughed as he left the apartment and I rolled my eyes. It was true it was different for me, but it’s not like I was some sort of horny animal who had to have my dick out every second of the day. I could keep it in my pants when I wanted to, I just had never bothered before.

  Whatever. I needed to shower before Paige came over. I might as well get that over with, and maybe have a little ‘me’ time as I did so I wouldn’t pop a boner the second she sat next to me. It could end up being a very long and painful night if I spent it with a woody I wasn’t going to be able to use.

  * * * * *

  “You look stressed out,” I remarked as Paige and I sat on my couch eating Chinese food. She’d seemed happy with the spicy noodles I’d ordered for her and had even made a crack about how she didn’t need me to go for mild and could handle it hot.

  “I am.” She sighed as she dug around in her food container for a piece of chicken. “I put off taking these classes because I wasn’t looking forward to them, and now that I have all three of them at the same time it’s already getting to be too much. I was looking over the syllabi and all three have major assignments due at the same time, and there’s a massive project in two of them that will take up so much of my free time trying to research.”

  “Sounds like a lot to deal with.”

  “How do you handle an engineer’s schedule without getting overwhelmed? Isn’t it all maths and sciences?”

  “Mostly.” I nodded and dug a hunk of beef out of my food container with my chopsticks. “But I like math and physics isn’t hard for me so they don’t feel like work.”

  “Really?” She gave me a look. “Not work at all ‘oh genius one’?”

  “Fine.” I laughed and nodded. “They’re work, but because I like them it’s not hard work.”

  “I still have two and a half years of this left.” She sighed. “Sometimes I worry I won’t be able to handle it. And if I can’t handle an undergrad then how the hell will I ever hope to make it in law school?”

  “I realize your path is different. For me this is the way to get to my goal but for you this degree is only a stepping stone. Maybe you need to think more about what’s going on right now and not worry about two or four years from now.”

  “Like right now?” She grinned. “Or just now in general.”

  “Both.” I winked and was rewarded with a laugh. “Something tells me you’re the type who feels out of control a lot.”

  “Yeah.” She sighed again and put her food container down. “I try so hard to control everything and organize my life so I know exactly what’s going to happen, but most days I feel like I’m spinning.”

  “You can’t control the world around you. You can only prepare yourself to deal with it.”

  “How did you get to be so wise?”

  I put my food container down and sighed.

  “Tell me a secret,” she urged softly.

  “Jax and I were adopted when we were ten. Nothing could have prepared us for our parents dying. One minute we were this perfect little family living this great life and the next we were orphans being shipped off to a foster house. We had to learn to adapt or die. It was hard, but we had each other.”

  “I guess you would have had to grow up really fast to deal with everything.”

  “We did, but we were lucky. We were sent to live with the Robson’s and after only a year they started the process of adopting us. Matt wasn’t so lucky. He went through a lot of homes before he came to live with us, and I realized that as shitty as my circumstances were there were people out there who had it worse. I had great parents before they died. Matt’s parents abused him and he bounced around before the Robson’s took a chance on him.”

  “My life hasn’t been hard.” She leaned against the couch cushion and twirled a lock of hair around her finger. “My parents never abused me, they hardly even yelled at me. They’re way too protective and they’re controlling, but they never hurt me. Alex is the one who’s had it tough and I’m the one falling apart.”

  “Alex?”

  “My older brother.” She sighed and let go of her hair as she dropped her hand. “He was born with cystic fibrosis and has been sick his entire life. The doctors told us it was likely he’d die before he hit twenty-five, thirty at the latest, and he’s twenty-three now. I’ve always been able to do everything and he’s never been able to do anything. I got to go to college and he’s still at home.”

  “Do you feel guilty about that?”

  “I know I shouldn’t, but I do. I love my brother. He’s an amazing person and he’s my best friend outside of Jules. I hate seeing him suffer, and the thought of losing him is...”

  She blinked as her eyes filled with tears and I held my arm out to her, inviting her against me so I could comfort her.

  She slid across the couch and snuggled right into me. I held her smaller body and gently rubbed her arms as she buried her face in my chest for a few seconds before leaning against me.

  “I can’t imagine how hard that is,” I said softly as I absentmindedly brushed a kiss against her forehead. “I’m sorry.”

  “You know, when people look at me all they see is an uptight nerd who studies too much and has this great life. I don’t have to work because mom and dad are paying for school. I maintain a 4.0 and I do everything I’m supposed to. But I feel like my outside doesn’t match my inside most days.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I like learning but I hate my program. I study so much because I have to, and sometimes I feel like I’m coming apart at the seams. I’m not a bitch. I’m not some uptight freak, but
that’s how people see me because I’m different.”

  “I get that. I got my first tattoo at sixteen and pierced my lip before freshman year. People see me and think I’m a bad boy or a jerk, and a lot of chicks see me as a good time.”

  “You’re not a good time?” she teased and I laughed as I hugged her tight.

  “I’m the best time you’ll ever have,” I assured her cockily. “But I’m also a nerd who likes to read comic books and watch nature documentaries. I can be an ass but don’t set out to be that way, and I was a mathlete.”

  “Seriously?” She grinned up at me. “Wow.”

  “Wow like you can’t believe I’m a nerd too?”

  “No, wow because that’s kinda sexy.”

  “You like nerds?”

  “I have a soft spot for them.”

  “What about bad boys?”

  “Not a fan of the attitude, but I’m quickly becoming a fan of the look.”

  “You like it?”

  “I do.” Her eyes fell on my lip ring and I smiled teasingly.

  “Ever felt one before?”

  “No.” She lifted her gaze to look into my eyes. “Is it different?”

  “I imagine it would be. Want to see what it’s all about?”

  She bit her lip as she thought about my offer. I was about to take it back, thinking I’d taken things too far when she nodded.

  Making sure I didn’t move too fast, and barely believing she wanted to kiss me, I leaned forward so I could touch my lips to hers.

  Her mouth was incredible. Her lips were soft and smooth, and warm, and she didn’t hesitate or pull back at all, not even when I ran my tongue over her bottom lip to encourage her to deepen the kiss.

  Her lips parted and she sucked my tongue into her mouth as she pressed against me. I couldn’t stop a deep groan when she rubbed her tongue against mine, moaning softly as she did.

  Holy fuck she was a good kisser. My dick hardened to a point that was almost painful as my balls tightened. When she released my tongue she gently ran just the tip of hers over my piercing, moving it back and forth a few times before she gently pulled on it with her teeth.

  “Fuck.” I pulled away and stared down at her. “For someone who’s never felt one, you sure as hell know what to do with it.”