Letting Go (Robson Brothers Book 2)

by A. T Brennan

  “Paige?”

  “My parents were legally allowed to make medical decisions for me because I was underage, and with the adoption going on they...they...” I pulled in a deep breath and forced the words out, desperately trying to hold in my tears. “They signed the baby over to her new parents while I was recovering. I never got a chance to hold her or say goodbye, she was just gone.”

  “Oh, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.”

  “I know I did the right thing, and while I regret getting pregnant I don’t regret giving her up. I just wish I’d had some form of closure, just one minute to tell her I loved her and was doing this to give her a better life. I just wanted to see my baby, but by the time I was awake and coherent she was gone.”

  “I’m so sorry.” He held me even closer and I breathed in his comforting and familiar scent. “I’m so sorry you had to go through any of that. But why didn’t you tell me before?”

  “I never tell anyone. I’m ashamed and embarrassed.”

  “By how it looks?”

  “Yes, but also by how stupid I was.”

  “Paige?”

  “I was a teen mom, even if it was only in theory. I was supposed to be an honor student, top of my class, but I was dumb enough to let some jock with a great smile go without a condom because I didn’t want to drive him away. It was my fault.”

  “It was his fault for not wearing one. It was his fault for walking away and leaving you to do everything. He’s the reason you had to go through this. You had a part in it but most of the blame is on him for being a dickwad.”

  “Dickwad?” I laughed against his chest. “I haven’t heard that one in a long time.”

  “Well, an ass of that calibre deserves one of the classics.”

  “Thank you for being so understanding.”

  “Paige.” He pulled far enough away from me so he could look into my eyes. “You never have to thank me for accepting you the way you are. Your past, your scar, it’s all brought you to me, made you the incredible woman I fell in love with. Every part of you is beautiful.”

  “You...you love me?”

  I couldn’t believe it. Jay loved me?

  “Yes, I love you. I loved you before you told me, and I love you even more now that you’ve trusted me.”

  I felt like I was floating and falling at the same time. Jay loved me. The man I was in love with loved me too. Even knowing what he did, seeing all of me the way he had, he loved me.

  “I love you too,” I said, a smile breaking out on my face. “I love you so much.”

  “Me too, baby.” He bent his head and gave me a long, deep kiss that made my head spin and almost took my breath away.

  “Oh, Jay.” I sighed as his lips left mine and trailed down my neck and then over my collarbone. When his kisses trailed over my breast and paused I bit my lip in anticipation.

  The moment his wet mouth closed over my nipple I cried out, arching into him. As he licked and teased me, his other hand moved up and he gently tweaked and toyed with the other one, and I thought I was going to burst.

  “God, Jay.” I ran my fingers through his hair, pushing it back from his face so I could watch him as he teased me. Almost as though he could sense me looking at him, he opened his eyes and the look in them was so tender and sweet, but also filled with passion and lust.

  He released my nipple and continued to trail kisses down my body. My first instinct was to move away from him so his lips wouldn’t touch my loose skin, but I took a deep breath and stayed where I was.

  His kisses rained down on the one part of my body I was usually so ashamed of, but the gentleness and tenderness he was showing me put me at ease. I didn’t even flinch as he ran the tip of his tongue over my scar as he moved even lower on my body, and when he was settled between my legs I wasn’t embarrassed or scared anymore.

  Jay accepted my body the way it was, scarred and different, and he loved me. It was time I start doing the same, and realize that there was nothing to be ashamed of. I’d been through something hard and I’d come out the other end a stronger person. I might have a permanent reminder of it, but that didn’t mean I had to let it control me. It was time to let it go.

  “Oh, god!” I gasped as he ran his tongue up my slit, teasing me, before slipping two fingers inside me so he could stroke my G-spot as his tongue moved back up to my clit.

  “Oh god. Jay.”

  My hands fisted in his hair as he swirled his tongue over me. There was no teasing or toying today. At that moment it was as though he was trying to give me the most amount of pleasure possible, to help me reach my orgasm and feel that incredible burst of ecstasy. It was amazing.

  “Yes...god yes, baby. Just like that!”

  My legs were shaking, my breaths were coming out in panting gasps and I was right there on the edge of release. I just needed another few seconds and I’d hit it.

  “God!” I cried out, my body bucking as my muscles contracted.

  Jay moved up my body, playing over me as he reached down to place himself at my opening. I was still feeling the residual pleasure from my orgasm as he pushed into me, and when he was fully sheathed in my channel another jolt of pleasure shot through me.

  “I love you, Paige,” he said softly, staring down at me as he held himself inside my body.

  “I love you too, Jay.”

  He bent to give me a soft kiss as he began to move. This time there was no urgency or desperate need. Every stroke felt incredible and sent a wave of pleasure through me, but it was his face I was focused on.

  His forehead was pressed against mine, his lips parted and his eyes open as he looked down at me.

  Jay and I’d had a lot of sex, but this was the first time we were making love. It wasn’t about the physical pleasure, it was about the emotional connection, and I’d never felt so loved and cherished than I did at that moment.

  “I’m getting close,” he warned me. “Are you?”

  “Almost.” I gasped, nodding slightly.

  “Come with me, baby. I want to feel you.”

  “Yes, I’m almost there!”

  I felt his cock pulse slightly and that movement was enough to send me over the edge. We came together, a mess of sweaty limbs and quiet cries, and when it was over he leaned over me so he could hold me tight.

  I don’t know how long we stayed that way, but by the time he pulled away his cock was soft, the cool air in the room had given me a chill, and I felt like a giant weight had been lifted off my chest.

  “So, I think we might have moved past the whole fuck buddies thing.” He pulled away so he could look down at me, his eyes twinkling as a smile tugged at his lips.

  “Yeah, I’d say we passed that a long time ago.” I grinned and tucked his hair behind his ears so I could see every inch of his gorgeous face.

  “I guess we can call each other boyfriend and girlfriend now, right?”

  “Yes, I think those titles are much better.”

  “Good.” He gave me a quick kiss and flopped over onto his side, pulling me with him so I could cuddle up against him. “You know you’re going to have to meet my parents.”

  “I figured as much.”

  “Up for taking a day trip during spring break? We can ask Matt and Avery to come too.”

  “Sounds good. Oh, I’m going to have a houseguest for the summer.”

  “Oh yeah? Who?”

  “Alex. He needs to get away from my parents for a bit so I invited him to stay with me.”

  “I look forward to meeting him, and seeing him all the time.”

  “All the time?”

  “Well, he’s your brother and I’m your boyfriend, it only makes sense we team up against you.”

  “Oh no.” I laughed and looked up at him. “Not happening.”

  “Sorry, it’s the brother code. We have to annoy the shit out of our siblings. It’s in the code, can’t be changed.”

  “Is that so?”

  “That’s so.” He nodded gravely. “So I guess we’re going to ha
ve to figure out a way where we can all spend the summer together.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Let’s just say I’m hoping Jax can survive living on his own, or having us for roommates.”

  “Oh, so I’m just going to move in with you because you said so?”

  “No, you’re going to move in with me because I love you so damn much I don’t want to spend any more time apart than is absolutely necessary.”

  “I can get behind that.”

  “I hope your brother is a deep sleeper, Jules too. You know you’re kind of a screamer, right?” He winked and I just shook my head.

  “I only scream because you make everything feel so good. The day I stop screaming is the day your skills have disappeared.”

  He laughed and kissed the tip of my nose before reaching out to take my hand in his. “Then I’ll make it my personal life’s mission to make sure you scream all the damn time.”

  “I am one lucky lady.”

  “And I’m the luckiest bastard out there.”

  He pulled my hand so it was resting on his hardening cock. It would seem he was almost ready to go again.

  “How about you lay back, let me suck you until you have to beg me to stop because you’re so close, and you can make me scream all you want.”

  “Deal.” He grinned and then gasped as I slowly started stroking him.

  After a moment I slid under the sheet and settled between his legs. His dick was standing at attention and begging to be sucked, and I licked my lips as I lowered my mouth to him.

  “Fuck, you’re good at that.”

  I couldn’t answer on account of having his dick in my mouth. Instead I hummed my appreciation and smiled around his cock as he cried out.

  It was true my parents had cut me off and I was most likely going to lose my scholarship and have to take extra classes to switch majors, but none of that mattered.

  All I cared about was Jay and how he made me feel. There would be plenty of time to freak out over all of that later. We both had things we needed to let go of, but I knew we’d always be there for each other and we’d get through it together.

  I might not be living the perfect life and I certainly wasn’t immune to messy situations, but I was luckiest damn girl in the world to have found Jay. I found a man who could love all of me, and someone I loved more than I ever thought possible.

  Nothing worthwhile in life is ever easy, except being with Jay. Being with him was natural and felt so right. And while we weren’t perfect people, we were perfect together.

  Preview of Book Three – Only You

  Chapter One

  Logan

  “Remind me again why we can’t pull a Big Bang Theory and I can be Sheldon to your Penny and Leonard? Why do I have to move out?” I asked almost petulantly as I look around the small apartment.

  “Because we tried that over the summer and you cock-blocked me every chance you got.” Matt grinned as he looped his arm over Avery’s shoulder.

  “Hearing my brother and best friend going at in the next room can be a little scarring, especially when you’re getting your freak on.” I rolled my eyes.

  “I warned you she was a screamer.”

  “Yeah, well the filth that comes out of your mouth is even worse,” I shot back.

  “You were the one who said you needed your own place.”

  “With a roommate I’ve never met?”

  “Sorry, Logan.” Avery gave me a somewhat sincere smile as she leaned against Matt. “I know this is going to be weird for you, but maybe it’ll be good to get your own space. You and Matt have lived together for so long, don’t you wonder what it’ll be like to break out of that bubble?”

  “I like my bubble.” I sighed and looked around the living room of the apartment again.

  It really wasn’t that bad. The living room was a decent size with a couch and a loveseat, and the TV was way bigger than the one Matt and I had shared. There was a separate dining room, which I hadn’t had before, and the bedrooms were the same size and had big closets. There was only one bathroom, but it was updated and looked new and clean. It was a five minute walk to campus and less than twenty to all three of my brothers and their girlfriends’ places.

  The price was right and it was furnished. Considering it was a week before classes started I should have signed the lease the moment I walked through the front door and found it wasn’t covered in bloody tarps and cockroaches, but there was a part of me that didn’t want to move.

  Matt and Avery having sex didn’t bother me. I could do without hearing the porn-worthy shit that came out of Matt’s mouth or Avery’s screams through the thin walls, but I was happy for them.

  Avery had moved in over the summer, it didn’t make sense for her to keep paying rent at her old place considering she spent most of her time with Matt at ours. Her roommate had moved in with her boyfriend so her ties were clean and cut.

  The real reason I’d decided to move out was to give them some space. It was awesome living with my two best friends, but they needed their own place, somewhere they could do all that domestic shit without me getting in the way.

  That had led to my apartment search and I’d stumbled on this place.

  It seemed two grad students had rented it but had transferred at the last second. That had left the owner scrambling to find tenants and I’d gotten on the list early. If I walked away I’d end up in a hovel eating off a hot plate.

  It was a no brainer.

  “Logan?”

  Avery’s voice broke through my thoughts and I turned to her.

  “Sorry, just thinking.”

  “Made any decisions? There are a few more places we could look. Paige said something about her old building having a vacancy.”

  “Nah. This place is good.”

  “You like it?”

  “It’s way better than I thought I’d find, and it fits my budget so I’d be an idiot to walk away.”

  “Are you sure you can afford this—”

  “I’m broke, not poor,” I cut Matt off. “If everything is split down the middle then I’ll be fine. I won’t be eating organic or gourmet, but I’ll survive.”

  I could see he wanted to say more, but Matt just nodded.

  “I’ll go see if I can find the owner.” Avery looked between us. “Tell him he’s got a deal.”

  As Avery left the apartment I stared at Matt, daring him to say something.

  “I know you don’t want to talk about it—”

  “You’re right, I don’t.” I crossed my arms and looked away from him. “I fucked up, I know that. I did the math and I’ll be fine.”

  “I still think you should accept Mom and Dad’s—”

  “I’m not going to take their money, not for this.”

  I was trying not to yell at Matt. He was only trying to help, but I was embarrassed, and when I get embarrassed I cover it up by being angry.

  Last year I’d gone a bit crazy with my spending. Matt, Jax and Jay, my three brothers, all had decent scholarships that paid for most of their tuition and they’d taken out loans to cover everything else.

  I’d had a partial scholarship and had also taken out loans, but last year I’d pissed away more money than I was willing to admit to and had run up a huge credit card bill. My parents had co-signed a line of credit with me to pay off the card and the crazy high interest rate that came with it. I’d managed to get a decent job over the summer and had paid them back every cent, but that had left me with no nest egg this year.

  My finances were tight and I was determined not to fuck up again. The credit card had been cancelled, the line of credit closed, and I was going to live within my means. If that meant eating noodles for every meal and staying in every night, then that’s what I was going to do.

  I was never going to go through that again. Standing in front of my parents, admitting what I’d done and how I needed their help had been humiliating, and I’d hated feeling like I failed. Of all the boys, I was the only one who had
screwed up that way, and I was the only one they’d had to bail out.

  They’d been pretty cool about it, Dad hadn’t even lectured me, but their disappointment was obvious and that made it all worse. I deserved their anger and disappointment, but they’d done what they always did, they’d been there for me and helped me without giving me a free pass.

  It was time to put on my big boy pants and suck it up. I was going to be an adult, take care of my shit and deal with the repercussions of my actions.

  * * * * *

  It didn’t take me long to move my shit into my new place. Since it came furnished I left everything except my clothes and personal stuff at Matt’s, and between my brothers and our two cars it only took one trip.

  School was starting in five days and I promised to have them over on Saturday for a little housewarming of sorts, as long as it was cool with my new roommate.

  I still had no idea who I’d be rooming with. I didn’t care if they were male or female, but had disclosed to the owner that I was gay in case that influenced his decision at all. I wasn’t expecting some homophobic ass to move in, but it was always a possibility when I wasn’t choosing my own roommate.

  Since I was the first to move in I took the bedroom at the back of the apartment. It was the same size as the other one but the closet was slightly bigger. It had everything I could need, including a double bed, desk, hookups for a TV—which I didn’t have the money to buy, and a bookshelf. There was also a footlocker with a lock and key on it, which was both nice and a little alarming.

  I hoped I wouldn’t feel the need to lock up my stuff around whomever was moving in, but again, without having a say I wouldn’t know until I met them.

  I spent that first night alone in the apartment and realized that I didn’t like living alone.

  It was stupid. For the last three years of school Matt had been in and out of the apartment, but he’d still lived there. Even when he was gone his dishes would be in the sink or I’d find a hoodie on the couch reminding me he’d been home while I was at class. Then he’d met Avery last year and it was as though we’d gained another roommate and I was hardly ever in the apartment alone.