“I didn’t realize this dress would be in high demand.” Karen looked genuinely shocked.
“Oh yeah, these simple dresses are totally in this season. Everyone is looking for simple elegance. This is the last one in the black velvet. You got lucky.”
Karen paid for her dress and we left the store with our find.
“How did you know?” She asked incredulously.
“Oh, I just went with my gut; it’s not like I read the fashion magazines. I just know classic beauty when I see it.”
“Well I’m glad you do.” She grinned. “Now we gotta get your dress tomorrow. The alterations should be done by now.” I nodded, a little less enthusiastic than I should have been.
“Debby looked beautiful too didn’t she?” I was desperate to keep off the subject of E-Z.”
“Oh yeah, she wears that green really well.” That was no lie. The girl looked radiant in green. “Let’s stop by her house; we can finalize all our plans. Is that okay with you?”
“Of course. I wanna find out how she is gonna wear her hair. I have a few suggestions.”
“Did you ever think of becoming a stylist? You have exquisite taste.”
“A lifetime ago, but not for a long time.” I laughed.
“Maybe you should think about it again.” I laughed, but she didn’t.
“Maybe.” I shrugged. But I couldn’t think about it right now. Those were wishes I didn’t have time for. We spent the rest of the way to Debby’s in silence.
CHAPTER 19
Wednesday came and I was ready for service a little earlier than Karen. I bundled up and sat out on a bench next to the driveway. There were only three days before the banquet and I was terrified. What was I going to do about E-Z? I groaned, this was not a good thing at all. I was sure he hated me and I didn’t want to ruin his evening.
“Adira?” Karen came up the drive. “You’re ready for church?”
“Yeah, I just wanted to sit out here for a little bit and think.” I stood.
“Well I was wondering if you would mind if E-Z took you to the church today. Ozzy wants to take me to church.” I forced a smile onto my face. I didn’t want to but I knew I’d wind up doing it anyway.
“Sure. Do you have Debby’s number?”
“Oh, um.” She smiled apologetically. “He’s already around front.” I sighed. She knew I wouldn’t refuse her anything.
“Let me get my stuff and I’ll see you later.” I hugged her and went in to get my things.
E-Z was standing outside his car hands in his pockets and waiting patiently. My stomach tensed as I saw him look up at me. I wondered if Debby made him come.
“Good evening, Adira.” He opened the door and helped me into the car.
“Good evening, E-Z.” I said simply. He nodded, closed the door and jogged around to his side.
“So, are you excited about the banquet Saturday?” He sounded cautious.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about that actually.” That wasn’t exactly a lie.
“Debby said you were gonna wear the silver and blue dress she gave you.” I nodded.
“I’ll bet you look beautiful in it.” I blushed.
“I wouldn’t be the best judge of that.” I said softly.
“You would look beautiful in a potato sack.” He chuckled lightly.
“I wish I’d known that before I went through altering the dress.” I snickered. The tension was beginning to ease. I felt my shoulders relax.
“Well I’ll be you look even better in that dress.” I didn’t answer, I didn’t know what to say so I folded my hands in my lap and looked out the window. The short ride to the church seemed to last an eternity, until we actually arrived.
“Adira.” I heard a cold voice call my name as soon as I exited the car.
“Hi, Cat.” I turned and smiled.
“So, you and E-Z came to church together?” She raised an eyebrow at me.
“Well.”
“What of it, Cat? I asked her to come with me. Is there a problem?” He put his arm around my shoulders protectively. I saw the fire burn in Cat’s eyes and I knew his gesture had done no good to stop Cat. In fact I was certain he’d added fuel to the fire.
“Well then.” She huffed then stalked off. I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes for a few moments.
“Are you okay, Adira?”
“I’m fine, for now anyway.” The banquet would turn out to be a nightmare for me, I knew this for a fact. There was no getting around that. Cat would find some way to ruin this for me and I had no one but myself to blame.
“We already told you, Cat won’t do anything to you. We will make sure she backs off. I’ve been doing a lot of praying for her. I don’t know what more can do. I already told her, even before we met you, I wasn’t interested in her. I guess she doesn’t know how to take no for an answer.” The parking lot was quickly filling and it wasn’t even seven o’clock yet. I searched the lot for Ozzy’s car but didn’t see it.
“What time is Debby getting here?”
“Oh she won’t be here until church starts. She has to pick up some stuff for the Children’s Church party today. Ulysses went with her to help.” I hadn’t met Ulysses yet, he was in school and he had only just come home for the holiday break this week.
“Oh, this is her week to help out there isn’t it?”
“Yeah. You know, I think by this time next year I’ll have a new brother-in-law?”
“Oh, really?” I hadn’t realized they were so serious.
“Yeah, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see Ozzy and Karen follow shortly. That would leave just me and you.”
“What?” I was startled at his assumption.
“I mean single, not that I was suggesting we, I mean not that I wouldn’t like…” Poor E-Z was flustered and I wasn’t dealing with the situation any better.
“E-Z, can you help us in the fellowship hall?” We were saved by Kevin, the young adults’ leader.
“On my way.” He called. “I’ll see you inside? I don’t have to run the soundboard today.” I nodded and walked to the sanctuary for a special service. I was glad to have a moment to myself.
I could hear the praise and worship team rehearsing the songs for the evening and the stress and tension that had built up slowly eased out of my muscles. I found a place to sit and knelt there to pray for a bit before church started.
Shortly after I’d ended my prayer and taken my seat I saw Karen walk into the church with Ozzy. She waved and hurried over to me and together they took their seats next to me.
“I have so much to tell you this evening. I’m not going right home after church this evening. Ozzy wants me to have coffee with his family.” My eyes widened in shock. Looked like things were moving in a serious direction for them, just as E-Z predicted. I didn’t begrudge her any happiness. In fact quite the opposite. I was excited for her.
“Oh, my goodness, Karen!” I whispered. “I’m so happy for you!” I quietly squealed.
“Thanks. I’m sorry for leaving you alone tonight.” She said blushing deeply.
“Don’t worry about me. I think I’ll take the time to read for a while before bed.”
“What are you gonna read?” Debby chimed in. I’d been so pre-occupied with Karen’s news, I hadn’t noticed her slide in other side of us.
“Hey!” I hugged her. “Oh, I’m probably gonna just find a book and read. Nothing special.” I answered. It was true, I’d just pick up a book and dive in. It was something I’d often done when I was still in school.
“Well I was thinking you might wanna hang out with us for a while after church. E-Z can take you home, can’t you?” I hadn’t even noticed he’d walked up to the pew.
“Sure, anytime.” He nodded at me and took a seat behind us. I kind of felt bad. They’d been friends for a long time, I’d only joined the group and here I was pushing him out. I sighed
“Why don’t you sit up here
with us?” Debby raised an eyebrow at me and I blushed.
“You don’t mind?” He didn’t move until I shook my head, then everyone kind of played musical chairs while we got situated with E-Z winding up next to me.
“Thanks.” He whispered to me.
“Anytime.” I whispered back.
Praise and worship began, and with the first swell of music it was obvious today would be anything but ordinary. Singing about how God was fighting for us and how He was the overcomer for us made my heart swell. I felt as though God Himself was standing there with me, wrapping His arms around me. By the time we go to the final chorus the church was fairly vibrating with an invisible energy. It felt like the first time I’d heard the lyrics to the song and I realized I wanted to be close to God, as the song said.
The words echoed in my head as the service proceeded. I guess I lost track of time because before I knew it, Pastor Suan was praying to dismiss us.
Service had been wonderful as always, the only difference was having a full house. The balcony had been to capacity as well. It took quite a while for us to exit the sanctuary.
“See you later, Adira.” Karen went off with Ozzy in search of his parents.
“We’re heading out to Maria’s Taqueria. See you there?” Debby and Ulysses headed out the side door ahead of us, leaving me alone with E-Z once again.
CHAPTER 20
He helped me into the car, closed the door and walked around to the driver’s side. He stood outside for a moment longer and I heard a loud thud on the roof of the car. I flinched and stared out the window at his massive chest. I wondered if he was angry. Finally he got back in the car and fastened his seatbelt, but he never spoke. I wasn’t about to say anything. I simply watched my hands.
“I’m sorry.” His voice was husky, those two words held a massive amount of emotion.
“For what?” I whispered.
“I shouldn’t have put you on the spot. It was wrong of me.” His eyes were locked on his steering wheel. “On the night of the banquet you just come to the church with Karen. I won’t be here.” He quietly turned the key and the car roared to life.
“Regretting your choice of date?” I knew at some point he would realize I wasn’t good enough for him. I just hadn’t expected for it to hurt as much as it did.
“It isn’t that and you know it.” He turned to look at me for the first time since we walked out of the church.
“Then why won’t you be here?” I should have just left things alone, but I couldn’t. “You don’t wanna be seen with the homeless girl?”
“I don’t care if you’re homeless. I thought you looked like an angel the day I saw you dripping and shivering.”
“You don’t have to do this. I’m sorry. I won’t be here for the banquet. I’m not even sure I’ll be at Karen’s by then either.” I was stunned at my own admission. But it was the only solution that made any sense.
“Why? Where will you be?”
“I’m thinking of going back to my mother’s house. With Karen getting serious with Ozzy I don’t want to be in the way. I’m sure I can find another job closer to my mom’s house. It’s no big deal. You guys can just go back to the way things were before.” I felt an overwhelming urge to weep, but I wouldn’t do that now.
“Adira.” E-Z started.
“Debby and Ulysses will be waiting for us. We should go.” I interrupted him. He took the hint and started the car. And once again we drove in silence. At least the break from this life would be easier if it was a quick one.
“Adira, I don’t know what I did to you, but I’m sorry.” E-Z stared straight ahead at the dark and empy road. The parking lot at Maria’s Taqueria was almost empty when we’d left, Debby and Ulysses were already on their way back to Debby’s and I was certain Karen would be home soon.
“You didn’t do anything to me, E-Z. I’m just not good for you. I’m not good for anyone.” I choked out. E-Z seemed to be a great guy and any girl would be fortunate to have him. He just deserved better than me.
“Why do you say that?” We arrived at Karen’s house and E-Z cut the engine.
“Because, I’m not the kind of girl you need.” I shook my head. “I gotta get going. Thanks, E-Z. I had a great time.” I unfastened my seatbelt and exited the car before he could stop me. I jogged up the walk and Karen met me at the door.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
I shook my head and made a mad dash for the bedroom. I barely made it to the bed before the tears were streaming down my face.
“Adira, talk to me.” Karen sat on the edge of the bed stroking my hair as I wept bitterly. “Did E-Z do something? Are you hurt?”
I just shook my head and wept. I knew I’d hurt him, I just couldn’t ruin his life. I heard my phone ring. I pushed my purse away from me and buried my face even further into my pillow.
“Hello? Yeah I’m right here with her. What happened? She won’t talk to me. She is just crying. No. Give me a minute. Adira, E-Z wants to talk to you for a second.”
“I can’t.” I choked out.
“Just hear him out. He just wants to talk to you for a second. You don’t have to say anything.”
“No, I can’t.” I wailed before I jumped off the bed and ran into the bathroom locking the door behind me. It was a hopeless situation. I needed to leave. I hated the thought. I wept bitterly as I slid down the bathroom door then curled into a fetal position and cried until the darkness of sleep claimed my exhausted mind.
I awoke to the sound of knocking and the events of the previous night came flooding back to me and I could feel the tears building up in my eyes once again.
“Adira, please open the door.” Patricia was calling softly. I slowly rose and left the bathroom.
“I’m sorry.” I sniffled.
“Honey, I need to talk to you. E-Z called last night to talk to you.” I nodded. “Karen doesn’t know what’s going on and she is scared. Frankly I’m a little worried about you. Do you want to tell me what is going on?” The tears were flowing now and I nodded again.
“I’m not good enough. That’s all there is to it. I don’t deserve any of this.” I gestured to my surroundings.
“Oh Adira, none of us are good enough. You have to understand that first and foremost. We get what we have by the Grace of God and nothing more.” She wrapped her arms around me and I heard her chuckle.
“What does that even mean? You people are always going on and on with all this church talk and I have no clue what it means.” I huffed, a little peeved with her apparent amusement at my frustration.
“No one is born knowing it all, but if you don’t ask we can’t explain.” She led me to the bed and took a seat at the small desk. “I will be more than willing to explain things to you if you like, but first I need an explanation from you.”
“From me?” I couldn’t imagine what she was talking about.
“Yes, E-Z tells us you are leaving soon. Is this true?” She didn’t look or sound cross, just concerned and maybe a little sad.
“Oh, that. Well you see,” I sighed, “I can’t go with E-Z to the banquet and well I can’t stay here if Karen is getting serious with Ozzy. I mean she will get married and move away; then where will I be? I can’t intrude on you forever.
“Adira, you are not intruding and what’s more, to my knowledge Karen is not getting married any time soon. Of course you don’t have to stay here with us, but you don’t have to leave either.”
“I don’t?” The tears started all over again as she smiled warmly at me.
“You may not be blood, but you are still family. In the short time we’ve known you we have developed strong feelings for you. And that leads me to the next issue.” I froze.
“E-Z.” I hiccupped.
“Yes, E-Z. I need you to be honest with me. Do you have feelings for E-Z?” I stared at her for the longest moment, speechless.
“Knock, knock. Can I co
me in?” Karen’s voice wafted down into the room.
“Come in.” I called, eager to avoid Patricia’s question. I could see the look on her face and knew the discussion wasn’t over.
“Adira, can you please come to the living room?” She shot a look over at Patricia then back at me.
“Why?” I asked suspiciously.
“Umm, you have a guest.” She answered nervously.
“Maybe you better give us a couple of minutes.” Patricia turned her attention back to me. “Well I think we both know who is waiting to see you so answering the question now will save you both a lot of heartache.”
“It’s so complicated. I just don’t even know what or how I’m feeling most of the time. My heart tells me one thing but my brain says another and frankly I’m more inclined to go with my brain. I can’t have feelings for him. I’m just not good enough for him. He deserves so much better.” I wanted to flee from the room and Patricia’s gaze.
“Don’t you think God should have a say so in that?” I stared at her.
“What?”
“Don’t you think God should have a say in whether or not you are good enough for E-Z? Obviously E-Z thinks you are plenty good enough for him. Now if you don’t have those kind of feelings for him, I think you should tell him. He should be able to move on and ask God’s guidance in how to do so. But, if I’m not mistaken, I’m fairly certain you do have strong feelings for him.”
“But-“Patricia held up a hand and I stopped.
“I’m not saying you want to get married tomorrow. However, I think you should pray about it and at least get to know him and let him get to know you. That much won’t hurt.” We both sat in silence. I knew she was right, but I was scared.
“I do like him; in the short time I’ve known him he seems to be perfect. But not being good enough isn’t the only problem. I just know it would never work out.” I was choked up and on the verge of another wave of tears.
“Give him and God a chance. You never know.”
“Yeah Soggy, you never know.” I looked over at the door and E-Z smiled at me.
Wings of Eagles Page 9
