Katherine sighed.
“Oh-my-God; oh-my-God!” Sandy’s voice was shrill. “You’re K.G.M. aren’t you? Oh-m’God, you dated him! You slept with him! And you never said a word?”
“I loved Adam deeply, Sandy, but we wanted different things from life. It was very painful and isn’t something I discuss a lot.”
“That’s why Amy asked me to take the posters down,” Sandy nodded in understanding. “I can’t believe this. I have to go. Good luck, Kattie.”
“Thanks, good luck to you too,” Katherine offered. She grabbed a load of her things and slowly emptied her room; she saved the flowers for last. She stared at the large bouquet and felt her chest squeeze painfully. After a moment of hesitation she grabbed one rose from the vase and the card and left the rest. The room was heavy with the smell of roses and memories from the four years she had spent on campus. With a shake of her head she turned for the door.
“Good bye, Adam,” she said before closing the door behind her.
Ten
Katherine settled into her new job at Carter and Associates and her Nashville apartment much more smoothly than she had anticipated. The first few weeks Katherine was in Nashville, she and Derrick spent a great deal of time together. For the last couple of months, however, he had been out of the state more than he had been in state. She had been living in Nashville for just under seven months now and if not for the friends she had made at work and at Derrick’s family church where generations of his family had attended, she would be spending most her time alone. Her new friend, Kristen, had asked her to help with a youth event and Katherine was now spending a fair amount of time helping with the youth; something she found she enjoyed greatly.
Tonight, however, she was on her own and feeling rather blue. She changed from her work clothes into a pair of plaid draw string pants and Adam’s old t-shirt and heated herself a low calorie microwave meal. She had first started sleeping in the t-shirt to feel closer to Adam; it had since become habit. She eyed the low calorie meal with distaste as she seated herself on the couch. Derrick had made a comment about her gaining a few pounds since college and she had decided she would lose them. He hadn’t been snide about it, but she figured if he was noting it, it was significant enough she should address it. Derrick followed a very careful diet and workout regimen to keep the nice physique Katherine was always admiring.
Katherine turned on the TV and flipped through the channels; she paused when she came to an entertainment show with Adam’s picture in the corner.
“Ace and his super model girlfriend, Mia, reported last month that they were to be parents. We were informed today that Mia has miscarried. Ace, who reportedly was excited about the coming child, is said to be taking the news hard.
“In other entertainment news, Hollywood’s newest and hottest face, Joel Bradford reportedly donated his entire salary from his last film to a children’s charity headed by singer Samantha Walker,” the reporter rattled off.
Katherine turned the channel but her thoughts continued to stay with the news report. Mia was the latest in a string of Hollywood beauties from the film and modeling industry Adam had dated. Adam almost a father, she felt a small tightening in her chest and shook it off. It seemed odd to think of him as a father. No, on second thought, it didn’t, she mused. She could still vividly remember a family dinner that Adam had tagged along for. One of her distant cousins, she would have to ask her mom the exact relation, had just had a baby. Katherine had claimed the infant and settled into an arm chair to admire the child. Adam had leaned over her and the child, his face filled with amazement.
“Look at her, she so tiny and so perfect!” he had placed his finger in the infant’s hand, his face lighting when she closed her fist around it.
Katherine smiled and wiped a tear from her eye, no he would be taking it hard, she decided. Her phone rang and she discarded her unappealing dinner to answer it.
“Hello,” she answered.
“Hey, Kattie, I don’t suppose you’ve heard the latest about Adam?” Amy asked.
“Just now. How are you, Amy?”
“I’m great! I’m engaged!”
“Congratulations, Amy, I am so happy for you. When’s the wedding?”
“We’re looking at an April and a June date. I’ll let you know when we decide. I want you to be my maid or matron of honor depending on you and Derrick. Speaking of which why aren’t you out with him on a Friday night?”
“First of all I am honored that you want me to be your maid of honor and as for Derrick, he is out of town again,” Katherine replied.
“Again?”
“I’m afraid so. Things are busy at work for everyone right now.”
“How are you doing otherwise, Kattie?”
“I’m good; trying to lose weight which isn’t any fun, but otherwise, I am doing well.”
“Trying to lose weight? Kattie, you have a beautiful figure, why are you trying to lose weight?”
“I’ve gained a few pounds since graduation,” Katherine admitted.
“How many is a few? Graduation was only a few months ago.”
“About ten, give or take a pound or two, enough that Derrick noticed.”
“No! Kattie, please tell me you are joking!”
“He wasn’t mean about it or anything, we were kissing goodnight and afterward he asked me if I had gained a few pounds.”
“Right. Look, Kattie, I love you and I admit that I never got to know Derrick the way I knew Adam when you two were dating but Derrick strikes me as…what is the right word here…” Amy sighed, “controlling.”
“No! He so is not controlling, Amy!”
“Kattie who talked you out of that great little historic apartment closer into work that you loved?” Amy demanded.
“He has a good point. That neighborhood was transitional and the building had almost no security. This place may lack character but the building is secure and the neighborhood safe.”
“And who talked you out of buying a new car when you can afford it?”
“Again, he made a good point, I am just getting settled and don’t know how the new job will work out yet.”
“And who convinced you that you dressed like a child?”
“I did.”
“No! Kattie, you didn’t and that is my point!” Amy sounded frustrated.
“I appreciate your concern,” Katherine assured her and decided to change the subject. “Not to sound odd but I figured you would ask Stacy to be your maid of honor,” Katherine changed the subject.
“Kattie, if not for you reminding me why it was worth it to stick it out these past four years, I would never have made it to this point. I think it is rather appropriate that you be my maid of honor,” Amy assured her.
“I can’t tell you what that means to me,” Kattie admitted around tears.
“Kattie, are you sure you’re okay? Except on rare occasion and when Adam left I have not heard you sounding so dejected.”
“Just lonely, I didn’t count on how much he travels,” Katherine admitted.
“I wish you lived closer, Kattie; I would love to see you.”
“I wish I lived closer too,” Katherine returned.
“I hate to but I should go.”
“It was good to hear from you, Amy,”
“It was nice to talk. Night, Kattie.”
“Night, Amy.” Katherine turned her phone off and threw away her mostly uneaten dinner; she found she had no appetite.
Katherine watched TV until late and then climbed into bed; the quiet around her was oppressive. When she had first moved into her apartment she had relished the quiet after the noise of dorm life. Now she missed the camaraderie that had flowed so easily between her and her hall mates. She tossed and turned, her thoughts chasing themselves and her stomach growling. Thunder rumbled and rain began to slap against her window. What was Adam doing tonight she wondered?
***
Adam stood at his bedroom window and stared down at the softly lit poo
l in his back yard as he absentmindedly sipped the drink in his hand. He had left for Hollywood so certain that if he could make the music that ran through his head he would be happy. Instead he was miserable, chasing after happiness like greyhound after a mechanical rabbit and equally as frustrated in his pursuit. He had sold millions of records, had more cars than he could drive, a large state of the art home and a model for a girlfriend. A traitor for a girlfriend, he winced and threw back the remains of his glass; the contents burned a path to his stomach. A miscarriage they had told the press. Adam glanced back at the bed where Mia lay asleep and felt his anger kindle again. She claimed to love him and then killed their child, all without ever asking his opinion on the matter. She was a beautiful woman but cold and hard; it hadn’t taken him long to learn that, so why had her actions surprised him? He turned back to the window, his empty glass dangling from his fingers.
He heard Mia stir behind him as she climbed from the bed and he tensed.
“Ace, are you okay?” she asked in her softly accented voice as she laid a hand on his shoulder.
“No,” he shrugged her hand off.
“You’re still angry,” she sighed. “Ace, I was about to lose my contract! It wasn’t even a baby yet, not really. We can have children later when our careers slow down,” she tried to reason with him.
Adam, his insides churning, continued to stare out the window. At one time he likely would have shared her opinion, before Kaitlyn came into his life. He could still her voice talking about how amazing babies were while she held her cousin’s baby, could still recall the weight of the sweet infant in his arms when Kaitlyn had insisted he hold her. Kaitlyn: just the thought of her hurt.
“Why are you with me, Mia?”
“Why do you think I’m with you? I love you! We can have a baby later,” Mia tried again.
“I don’t want a child with you, Mia,” he informed her.
“What?” Mia demanded.
“I want you to leave; you can wait until tomorrow but we’re through,” he kept his back to her.
“You’re thinking about her again aren’t you? I can always tell when you are because you shut me out. Why are you with me, Ace? Huh?” she demanded as she pounded on the tattoo on his shoulder. “You’re in love with a memory! I don’t see her here having your child,” Mia flung at him.
Adam spun and sent his glass crashing against the wall before he grabbed her by the arms.
“You leave her out of this!” he yelled before he released her and stormed from the room. He heard the door lock behind him; that suited him just fine. He wanted nothing more to do with Mia.
***
Katherine sat at her mother’s table, her hands wrapped around a mug of apple cider. Christmas had been a day earlier and she was enjoying a visit with her parents; she was traveling home the next day. She and Derrick had spent Christmas Eve with his family and Christmas Day with hers. He had left this morning to catch a flight to Tokyo.
“How are you doing, Kattie?” Julia asked as she bustled around the kitchen and tidied up from dinner.
“I’ve been busy, but I am doing well. Derrick is out of town a lot; I hadn’t counted on that,” she admitted.
“You better decide now if that bothers you, Kattie; it’s not likely to change after you marry,” Julia warned, she wasn’t so certain that she cared for Derrick but she had not told her daughter that.
“Derrick confided in me that he is planning on branching out on his own after we marry,” she shared.
“And you think that means things will slow down? Kattie, they’ll only get busier. How are you going to help him run a company, help with the youth, and fill a home with children as you want?” her mother joined her at the table.
“Mom, please don’t worry. Once we start our own business I’ll pass helping with the youth on to someone else and as for children, Derrick and I have agreed that one is all we’ll have,” she assured her mother.
“As much as you love children?” Julia frowned at her.
“Mom, you know the kind of advantages you can give an only child,” Katherine reminded her mother.
“Kattie…dear,” her mother sighed, her eyes dark. “Please, please, I beg of you, think long and hard before you marry this man? He seems nice enough but I worry that he’s going to run you over.”
“What?” Katherine frowned at her mother. Why did everyone think Derrick was out to control her? Just because she respected his life experience and wisdom, that didn’t mean she was handing over her life to him.
“He is a very strong personality, Kattie and I fear he’ll run you over.”
“Mom! Adam was a strong personality too; I know how to deal with it.”
“Do you, Kattie? Adam never asked you to be anyone but yourself.”
“What are you talking about? Mom, I am myself!” Katherine said in irritation.
“Really? Have you lost weight? You barely ate yesterday, even of your favorite foods. And since when do you want one child? Last summer you were still talking about filling a historic home with little ones,” Julie finally gave voice to her concerns.
“Mom, I’m growing up and learning to be more realistic. Weren’t you the one who accused me of living in a dream world when I was younger?”
“Kattie, that wasn’t the context in which I made that statement. I’m not trying to anger you or hurt you but I have to tell you that I’m concerned, sweetheart; I do,” her mother insisted.
“I love you, Mom, and I’m glad you shared your concerns with me but I assure you that I am okay,” she promised.
“Good,” her mother smiled. “Do you ever hear from Adam these days?”
Katherine was quiet a moment; she didn’t want to talk about Adam. She finally nodded.
“I get post cards from various places but that’s about it.”
“Who is this Mia he was seeing? They’re saying they broke up after she had a miscarriage.”
“That didn’t take long,” Katherine noted. “She’s a super gorgeous lingerie model.”
“Oh!” Julia’s brows went up.
“Yeah, needless to say he has certainly moved on to women much more beautiful than myself,” she said dryly.
“No, Kattie; you are very beautiful, sweetie.”
“Thanks, Mom,” Katherine smiled at her mother. She didn’t feel very beautiful at the moment.
“I have trouble matching him to what I hear in the news,” Julia admitted. “He was always so thoughtful and considerate when he was here.”
“Yeah, well, he was plenty mixed up inside by his mom’s drinking and his dad’s abandonment,” Katherine admitted.
“So I gathered from the lyrics to his music,” Julia nodded.
“You’ve heard his music?” Katherine asked in amusement.
“He’s everywhere! But, actually, I confiscated it from a student who was listening to it during class. He didn’t come back for it at the end of the day so I brought home and listened to it before I gave it to him the next day. There were plenty of angry lyrics. One song, though, stood out from the others,” Julia shared.
“Oh?” Katherine waited for her mother to come to the point.
“I think the name of it was Goodbye,” Julia mused.
“Yeah, that one isn’t angry,” Katherine played dumb.
“No, I should say not, more sad. Kattie, I did the math, like I even needed to,” Julia told her.
“I knew as soon as I heard it, Mom.”
“Liner notes were interesting as well,” Julia commented.
“Yes, they were,” Katherine agreed.
The two sat quietly for a moment, Julia tapping her fingers on the table.
“What?” Katherine finally demanded.
“I know you were and are an adult and it is none of my business, I mean I suspected, but that all but confirmed it…”
“Are you asking if I slept with him?” Katherine finally got tired of her mother beating around the bush.
Julia colored but nodded.
“And I thought you had already figured it out when we spoke that morning,” Katherine shook her head.
“I suspected and I’m guessing that’s your way of confirming it,” Julia returned.
“Yes, Mom, I slept with Adam, he was the first and to date the last and it was that one night. Now is your curiosity satisfied or would you like to know more?” Katherine queried.
“Don’t get smart with me,” her mother warned.
“Sorry, Mom, it’s just not something I’m in the habit of discussing with people,” she admitted.
“Does Derrick know this? I don’t know what your relationship is with him in terms of…that but I would think that you two should discuss your pasts so nothing unpleasant comes up later.”
“No, he doesn’t know and to date we aren’t having sex. He kisses me and sometimes I think he’s going to take things there but then he pulls back,” Katherine shrugged.
“It’s good that he respects you. You need to talk to him about Adam, Kattie. That’s not something you want coming up at an inopportune moment.”
“I plan to tell him, Mom.”
“When; on your wedding night?”
“No! Before then,” Katherine assured her mom.
“You need to.”
“I will!”
“Good.”
“I thought you don’t want me to marry him!”
“I don’t want you hurt is what I don’t want. I love you Kattie; what I want is for you to be happy.”
“That’s what I want too, Mom; to be happy,” Katherine admitted. She couldn’t explain why she felt like crying.
***
Katherine struggled to keep a hold on her luggage as she checked her mailbox on her way into her apartment building. She frowned at a large parcel notice; she wasn’t expecting any packages. She managed to make it into her apartment without losing any of her things and then hurried to the post office for her package. Curiosity ate at her all the way home but she made herself wait until she had finished unpacking to open the box. There was no return address, she noted curiously. She grabbed her scissors and cut down the center of the tape. As she opened the top all she could see were packing noodles; then her eyes landed on an envelope taped to the inside of the flap. Kaitlyn, it read in Adam’s familiar script; Katherine’s heart leapt. She removed the envelope with shaking hands and opened it. The front of the enclosed card had a picture of a small town residential street lined with old houses all covered in snow and decorated for Christmas. The inside inscription read ‘Wishing you an old time Christmas.’ Below it was a hand written message from Adam.
Until Next Time (The Shooting Stars Series) Page 15
