by Jillian Neal
“I want to feel it again, Rainer, please.”
“Em,” he shook his head and pulled back. He couldn’t hurt her again. That would end him, he knew, but she advanced.
“Feel me, Rainer. Just feel me,” she urged and kissed him again heatedly. He allowed her in. He could feel the hunger, the yearning; it swirled inside of her rhythms. He moved his hands to her thighs and groped her skin. He worked his hands up her t-shirt; she hadn’t put anything else on. His mind waged war with his body.
“I need you, Rainer.” It nearly broke him, but he fought harder. The slow fire that burned in his groin ignited, as he felt her desire grow.
“You won’t hurt me again. I feel so much better when I can feel you with me.”
He couldn’t fight any longer. He drowned in the futility of the war. It was a senseless endeavor. She was irresistible.
He lifted the shirt over her head, and gazed at her. She was no longer obscured in the darkness. He could see all of her, what she offered to him. He groaned, and moved over her. He wanted her all for himself. He wanted to own her in entirety; to own her gorgeous body, and her beautiful soul.
He wanted to shield her body with his own. He longed to stand between her and the rest of the world. He concentrated; if he hurt her at all, he was going to stop.
He moved his hands to her breasts, and felt her nipples harden into puckered, pulsating mounds in his hands. He felt them swell for him, and he panted.
“You are so beautiful, Em.” His vow made her writhe in his arms as she released more of herself, adding to the heady cocktail of them together.
“I want to touch you, baby. Are you sure it won’t hurt? I swear I’ll be so gentle,” he slid his hands down her stomach as she gasped for breath.
“It will feel so much better,” she begged in heated need. As he prayed that she was right, he traced his hands over her and grazed them over her mound. He watched the tender red curls, slightly darker than her hair, glisten in the sunlight as her body prepared her for him. He traced over her slit. She went wild and bucked under his touch.
“Please,” she begged, and he groaned and eased his fingers back inside of her. He let everything she gave up wash over him. It was almost more than he could fathom; the need, the desire, mixed with his own deep yearnings as he stroked her.
The slick, wet, heavenly space was only slightly wider than he’d felt her the night before, but she felt no pain. Her energy never faltered. It was strong and intoxicating as it filled him.
Certain that he hadn’t done all that great of a job the night before, Rainer forced himself to concentrate. He noted the slight changes in her energy, according to where his fingers touched and caressed. He dragged his thumb through the liquid heat now seeping from her and stroked up over her clit. She called out his name. Her rhythms leapt wildly. He continued to move over it, tenderly coaxing out what he wanted from her. She resisted slightly. He felt her body pull her back, but it wasn’t fear of pain; it was fear of release.
“Come on, Em,” he soothed in her ear as he kept up his deep, rhythmic strokes and continued to tease her clit with his thumb. “I’m right here. I’ll always be right here, baby. I want it. I want to make you feel it. Just give it to me; let me have that.” He felt her body give way. She let him own her; she came undone for him. It was exquisite to watch her body contort. Her loud moans were like a siren song. She writhed; her body released more of her physically. It was more than he ever thought possible, and her aura unbound for him.
“Rainer,” she urged as she calmed, “please, I want to feel more of you. I want to feel all of you.”
He concentrated again as he moved back between her legs, and made certain he wasn’t going to add to her tenderness. He traced his hands over her inner thighs, and watched as her lips swelled for him.
She was soaking wet, swollen, and ready. He could feel it now; he understood everything so much better this time. He moved up her body, caught her breast in his mouth, and sucked gently. She went wild. He smiled, and reveled in the knowledge of what he was learning and feeling from her. He pulled harder and she cried out for him.
He slipped all of himself inside of her. As he pierced the very heart of her, a low moan echoed loudly from his chest.
“You feel incredible,” he groaned reverently. He was unable to believe the exquisite feeling of her as he thrust gently.
She couldn’t take much, he knew, though he longed to pound into her and to pump her full of him. He forced himself to wait; she wasn’t ready for that.
She met his timed thrusts and pulled him deeper. He shuddered and clenched his jaw. He wasn’t going before her, but he had to fight with every fiber of his being to hold on until her energy spiked rapidly and her temperature climbed. He watched her body flush, and he knew her release was imminent.
“Give it to me, baby.I want to feel it around me,” he commanded, and he set her free.
Her body trembled around his throbbing strain, and he lost it all. She collapsed underneath him. Her body wrapped his in all of her. He filled her full with everything inside of him.
He wanted her to have it all. He wanted her to own him. She took it all in; she convulsed and writhed. This one was much stronger than the last.
She hadn’t felt this the night before, he knew, and he instantly vowed to do everything in his power to make certain she felt this any time they were together. He held her to him and shielded her with his body as she quaked. She seemed to release in waves. He felt them shatter through her, and then she stilled.
“Uh, wow,” she hushed, and he tried not to laugh. “That was,” she stammered with a sheepish giggle, “wow.”
He couldn’t halt the slight chuckle that echoed from him. He eased away from her and settled her on his chest.
Her cell phone rang in her purse. She sighed, and then glanced up at him.
“I’m not hurting at all, but I don’t think I can walk just yet.”
Concern instantly filled him, but he sprang from the bed and retrieved her purse. He handed it to her, before crawling back beside her. She answered it on the fifth ring after glancing at the screen. She grimaced as she mouthed the word, “Mom.” Emily placed her index finger to her lips. She didn’t want him to do anything that would give away where they were or what they’d just done.
“Hello,” she sang, but then tried to modulate her voice, as she sounded slightly drunk. He bit his lips together and tried hard not to crack up. “Hey, Mom. No, I’m fine, really.”
“How’s Adeline?” She didn’t say anything for a while, but looked concerned. He could hear traces of Mrs. Haydenshire’s voice through the phone.
Emily nodded with a few “uh-huhs”.
“Well, when is Officer Vindico coming back?” she quizzed. “No, we just got up a little while ago. We haven’t really done anything yet.” Rainer smirked as he feigned confusion.
She almost giggled, but batted his hand away as he reached for her. After deciding he liked the game, he moved his head to her neck. He began kissing and nibbling as her eyes goggled, and she shook her head.
“Mom,” she gasped. Suddenly her face was drawn in a horrified scowl.
Rainer pulled away and studied her.
“I’m really fine, Mother,” she assured with a hint of disgust in her voice. “Ok, no, ugh, Mom! I really don’t want to talk about this, ok?”
Rainer was insanely curious as he debated casting and raising the volume on her phone, but he didn’t want to upset her.
“Ok, Mom, thank you,” she huffed, and shook her head as she rolled her eyes. She was clearly put out. “No, Mom, I will be fine. Yes, Mother, of course. I am not telling you that!” she shrieked, and Rainer held his hands out and pleaded with her to tell him what was going on. She shook her head. Her face was a deep crimson, and she squeezed her eyes shut tightly.“Because that is between me and Rainer.”
He now had a pretty good idea of the kinds of things her mother must have asked. Rainer felt badly that he’d messed with her. H
e gave her a sorrowful look, rubbed her leg, and tried to soothe her nerves. She calmed slightly.
“Yeah, we’re gonna get some groceries and maybe lay out. It’s still too cold to swim,” she sounded more like herself. “No, it’s fine, just like we left it after Labor Day.” She sighed. She was tired of talking to her Mother.
“Daddy gave me some money before we left,” she commented, and Rainer was stunned.
Governor Haydenshire had been sitting not two feet away from him the day before, when he’d been handed the bankcards and numerous checkbooks to millions upon millions of dollars. Why on earth was he giving Emily money?
Rainer was offended. She furrowed her brow and studied him. His face had not only betrayed his shock, but his release was now inside of her again. She could feel every single thing he felt.
“Ok, Mom, tell Adeline we’re thinking of her,” she said sweetly. “Yes, I’ll call you later if we need anything. I love you, too. Bye, Mom.” Emily pressed the end button and tossed her phone gently on the mattress, in an effort to show her irritation.
“Why did your dad give you money?”
She looked as shocked as he felt.
“Ok, of all of the comments I thought that conversation would elicit,” she pointed to her phone, “that isn’t what I thought you would say.”
“Well, I want to know what else she said, but I mostly want to know why your dad is giving you money.”
She nodded but was clearly confused.
“I guess, because I’m his daughter, and I might need to buy something while I’m on vacation, and my invitation to try out for the Angels only becomes a paycheck if I actually become their Junior Receiver,” she explained as she tried to discern why he was so upset.
“Ok, but I’m here with you.”
She smiled and bit her lip hesitantly.
“I know that, but that doesn’t mean that I might not need to get something while we’re here.”
“Em, I will get you anything you need, or hell, anything you want. Your dad was sitting right beside me when the Crown Governor handed me my parents’ fortune. He doesn’t need to give you money!” he expounded rather heatedly. She shook her head and gave him an eye-roll.
“First of all, I won’t point out how extremely chauvinistic that sounded,” she giggled as he cocked his jaw to the side in irritation.
“That isn’t how I meant that.”
“I know,” she soothed. “But sweetheart, I mean, we aren’t engaged. I don’t have a ring yet, and that money is yours, not mine. You shouldn’t spend it on me. You should keep it, or get something you really want.”
He drew a deep breath. It never occurred to him that she wouldn’t understand what he’d meant when he’d told her he had a ring, but it should have. Emily was one of the most giving people he’d ever known, just like her parents.
“Em,” he shook his head. “I want to be your husband. I want everything I have to be yours. I would never keep all of that from you. It is yours! If there’s something you want, then let’s go get it. Nothing would make me happier.”
She looked extremely touched, but then she giggled.
“Well, I would kind of like a Dr. Pepper.”
He rolled his eyes.
“Fine,” he huffed. He was irritated that she wasn’t taking him seriously. He moved from the bed to the kitchen, pulled a bottle from the Styrofoam cooler her mother had packed and chill casted. The cast had worn off in the middle of the night, so Rainer chilled the drink for her. He started back to their room, but she met him in the kitchen.
“Rainer, I was kidding.” She looked hurt. She reached for the drink. “Thank you,” she unscrewed the lid, “for this, and for what you said. I just...I feel like I don’t deserve you, I guess. I mean the money just seems like only you should have that. I’ll be working soon, and we can stay at Mom and Dad’s until then,” she insisted, and the pieces began to cement in his mind. He took her hand and pulled her onto one of the couches in the living room.
“Is that why you don’t want to move in with me? Because you can’t help pay rent?” She nodded hesitantly. “Emily,” he said, stunned. “Baby, what do I have to say or do to make you understand how much I love you? How much you mean to me? Since the moment Governor Carrington handed me all of that, I only ever saw it as ours. I only ever see my life being wrapped up in yours. That’s the only way I ever want it to be.”
Tender tears pricked her eyes. “Really?”
He nodded and pulled her onto his chest as he began his vow, “Really.” She seemed truly shocked. “Did you honestly think I would make you sign a pre-nup or something?” He tried not to be offended but, truthfully, he was.
“No, I just tried never to think about it, you know? I mean, I guess part of me is afraid it’ll get in the way of what we have, and that scares me,” her voice broke along with his heart. “And,” she continued as he held her tighter. “You know all the papers and everything.”
He felt tears cascade down his shoulder. He pulled away to look into her eyes.
“I will never allow anything to get in the way of you and me, ever,” he vowed adamantly. “And the papers can go to hell.”
Whenever Rainer refused an interview or shunned a cameraman, there would be retribution in the form of a particularly nasty story about him, or Emily, or one of his friends. As of late, the tabloids would snap photos of Emily out near a shopping mall, or once in a grocery store, of all places, then they would claim that she was clearly dating him, just waiting on his birthday, so she could spend his money for him. She’d been called all of the particularly unsavory names associated with women who did that kind of thing. He knew, as furious as it made him, that it wounded her deeply. He just didn’t know how to stop it.
“Em.” He felt terror fill his soul again, but forced himself to go on. “If you really want to marry me, and be with me forever, then I think the reporters and the cameras are always going to be there. I mean, is that ok with you? I’ll do my best to stop it and keep them away, but so far they’ve just always been there. I prayed that they’d lay off after your wreck, but they haven’t, not really.” His heart physically ached.
“If you want to think about it...or walk away....” he choked out. He couldn’t live without her; he didn’t even want to. “I’ll understand.”
She shook her head and rolled her eyes.
“No, Rainer, I’m not going anywhere, and certainly not because of some stupid reporters. I love you, and when you said you had a ring, seriously, I have never been so happy!”
He smiled and was able to breathe again. His heart had stuttered momentarily, and it flooded his body with blood in a heated wave. He felt faint and shook himself he nodded.
“Ok, so after I give you the ring, will you let me get us a place to live?” He watched her smile and nod excitedly.
“I’ll move in with you whenever you want, Rainer. I just really don’t want to read about how I’m mooching off of you, or that I’m some kind of kept woman, or whatever it was they said last time.”
“Yeah, I enjoyed that. How exactly are you a kept woman if I’m living in your parents’ house?” He rolled his eyes as she laughed. He lay back on the couch, turned on to his side, and pulled her beside him. She snuggled into him as she nuzzled her face in his neck. Rainer kissed the top of her head.
“So what else did your mom say?”
She shuddered, “Ugh, this is what I’d thought you’d want to know.”
Rainer laughed. “Well, I do want to know.”
She blushed violently then bit her lip and hid her face in his chest. She mumbled something, but she was talking into his rib cage, and he laughed.
“Sorry, I missed that, baby.”
She sat up and giggled, and covered her face momentarily.
“She wanted to make sure I used the cast, and she said...” Emily’s face turned purple in her embarrassment.
“You don’t have to tell me,” he soothed as he tried to ease her humiliation.
“No, I’ll talk about it with you. I just don’t want to talk about it with her.”
He nodded, gave her a sorrowful look, and kept his hands on her. He tried to soothe her any way he was able. She gave him another eye-roll before she expounded. “I believe her exact words were, ‘If anything feels tender or rubbed, then a bath might help.’”
Rainer shut his eyes tightly as he fought the urge to curl into a ball.
“Apparently,” she fumed, “she texted me that information last night, but I didn’t respond.”
“So, uh, I guess there’s no hoping that they were just thinking that we wanted to spend some time alone, not doing that, then?”
Rainer cringed as she shook her head.
“This is yet another problem with having seven older brothers. They sort of have us all figured out,” she lamented. He waited; he knew there was more.
“It was just...awful,” she admitted as she folded herself into him. “She was like ‘So did you use the cast? And did you do it, or did you let him do it?’ I said I didn’t want to talk about it. So she was like, ‘Oh that’s good, you let him do it.” She shuddered on his chest as she hid from the world, or at least from her mother.
“I’m so sorry, baby.” He had no idea what else he could say.
“It’s fine; she’s always been like that. Remember when I started my period?” she groaned, and he laughed heartily.
Her mother hadn’t quite understood Emily’s desperation that Rainer and all of her brothers not know about her particular life change. Mrs. Haydenshire had decided to hold a special dinner in Emily’s honor. Emily had been mortified.
Rainer had felt terrible for her, but her brothers had harassed her mercilessly. She’d refused to speak to anyone for two solid weeks, until Rainer finally got her to talk to him. He’d found her crying out by the lake on her parents’ farm. He told her about a few particularly embarrassing things that went on when a guy goes through puberty.
“You were so sweet.” She clearly remembered the same part of the story he recalled.
“I felt terrible for you, and after what Connor and Levi did....” He left out Cal’s name, not certain if she wanted to talk about him.
