by Sykes, Julia
He pulled away from me, reaching for the doorknob. My hands shot out to clutch at his arm.
“Wait!” Panic lanced through me at the prospect of being alone. “I need you, Master.”
I didn’t want him to leave me. With his orders to guide me, I had been able to take care of myself on my own that morning. But this was different. I hadn’t showered by myself since Master had rescued me. At the clinic, Susan had always stayed with me. The prospect of being naked and alone was terrifying.
My heart sank when Master’s fingers closed around mine, carefully extricating himself from my grip. His expression was hard, reproving. “This is something that I can’t help you with, girl,” he told me firmly. “Get yourself cleaned up. When you’re done showering, cover yourself with the towel. Then we’ll see what we can find for you to wear to bed.”
I bit my lower lip hard to hold back the desperate protests that were fighting to bubble forth. My head bowed, demonstrating my compliance with his wishes. The sound of the door clicking shut behind him made me flinch.
“Get yourself cleaned up.”
Master had given me an order. I tried to focus on him, to give myself over to his will completely and quiet my resistant mind. Still, I couldn’t stop my fingers from trembling as I gripped the hem of my camisole and slowly pulled it up over my torso. I paused when the cottony material bunched beneath my breasts.
Naked and alone in the dark.
Cold flashed across my skin. I gritted my teeth and shoved back the memories of my horrific past. I wasn’t in my prison any longer. That Bastard couldn’t hurt me anymore. He couldn’t use me. I ripped the camisole over my head in a flash of defiance. The ghostly paleness of my skin reflected in the mirror over the sink, catching my eye.
It was the first time I had really looked at myself. And I looked… wrong,
My skin was supposed to be tanned. I hated when I got this pale. My hair was a wild, untamed mass of brunette waves that swirled down to cover my breasts. I brushed my fingertips against the rough untidiness of my split ends, and I grimaced. I loved my hair, and I never let it get so out of sorts.
As I regretfully touched the ragged strands, my gaze fell on my wrist.
A jolt of horror shocked through me when I took in the purple, slightly raised scar that ringed it. Trembling, I raised my other wrist to inspect it, only to find it identically marred. I took a step back, my stomach churning as I examined the way my skin rippled across my defined ribs at the movement. Another purple scar wrapped around the left side of my ribcage. Hardly breathing, I twisted my body so my back was reflected in the mirror.
It was a mess of crisscrossing, darkened lines. Some of them disappeared below the upper edge of my sweatpants. Incapable of wrenching my eyes from the horror, I shoved the pants down my legs. The terrible marks covered my bottom, extending down to my thighs.
The snap of the bullwhip. Blood running down my legs. My back flayed.
I screamed and I cried and I begged, but they wouldn’t stop.
“Are you alright in there, sweetheart?” Master’s deep voice floated through the closed door, cutting through the choking memories.
Master had ordered me to take a shower.
I had to focus on him. I tried desperately to clear my mind of everything but his order.
“Get yourself cleaned up.”
But it wasn’t enough. Without Master’s physical presence to ground me, I was helpless to stop myself from being sucked under. The darkness of my prison closed in around me.
My former Master’s lips were twisted in a savage, satisfied grin as he swiped his hand across my chest, smearing his hot seed that he had spilled across my breasts.
“Get cleaned up, you dirty whore.”
The remembered heat of his disgusting mark burned into me, sinking through my skin, searing through my lungs to char my heart. I wrapped my arms around myself tightly, desperate to hold my scorched flesh together. While fire consumed my chest, ice encased the rest of my body, the freeze searing me just as cruelly as the blaze.
A rough, masculine hand touched my shoulder, and a scream ripped its way up my throat as I jerked back. My foot slipped on the slick tile, sending me sprawling. I braced for the bruising impact with the hard floor, but the man’s hands caught me around the waist. My body was pulled up against a hard chest. I struggled against his iron hold, but my feral efforts were useless.
I sobbed. God, he was so strong. I wouldn’t be able to stop him from using me, from hurting me. But I couldn’t stop fighting. The days of hollowly accepting abuse were over. Even though I was powerless against him, I wouldn’t meekly comply with his horrific demands any longer.
“Open your eyes, girl. Look at me.” Master’s harsh demand penetrated my panic with exquisite, brutal efficiency.
I realized I was inflicting the darkness of my dungeon upon myself. My eyes snapped open with eager obedience, searching for his glinting silvery gaze.
“Master.” His title was a ragged whisper as tears of relief burned twin streams down my cheeks. I stopped fighting; I pressed against him so closely that my body was molded to his.
Keeping one arm firmly around my back, his other hand cupped my cheek, his thumb hooking under my jaw to tilt my face up to his. His intense stare, authoritative yet compassionate, rolled over and through me like a soothing balm, smothering the pain that had gripped my entire being.
“You’re okay, sweetheart.” His reassurance was firm, demanding that I believe him. “I’ve got you.”
I melted into him as I allowed his control to take hold of me, to enthrall my mind so that there was no room for my torturous memories.
“What happened?” He asked. His tone was gentle, but his eyes brooked no resistance.
“I…” I heaved in a shuddering breath, wrestling back my remaining fear. “The scars.” Those two words were all I could manage. I refused to revisit the horrors that had overcome me, to give voice to what had been done to me.
No. Not to me. That abused slave wasn’t me. Not anymore. Not now that I was in Master’s care. I touched my fingers to my neck, reassuring myself that my iron collar no longer encircled it. No, I didn’t belong to that Bastard anymore.
The lines of Master’s gorgeous face were taut as he grasped my hand, pulling it away from my neck and placing it on his chest. His heartbeat was strong and even beneath my palm, the regular rhythm calming me.
“You’re mine now, little one.” The ferocious, possessive edge to his voice made me quiver delightedly. “That Bastard can’t hurt you anymore.”
More tears welled up as joy soared through me.
“You’re mine now.”
His.
It was the first time Master had voiced his ownership.
“Thank you, Master.” Again, the words were laughably insufficient to express the depth of my gratitude. I pressed my cheek against his chest in an attempt to physically demonstrate my devotion. A pleasurable sigh escaped me at the sensation of his heartbeat reverberating through me, my own heart slowing its frantic palpitations to match his even rhythm. His hand closed around the nape of my neck, holding me to him as his fingers stroked up and down my back, his touch seeming to erase the horror of my scars with every swipe of his palm across my damaged skin.
After a while, he pulled back from me slightly.
“Let’s get you in the shower before the water goes cold,” he said gently.
Anxiety instantly gripped me. I couldn’t allow him to leave me again; I couldn’t be left alone, naked and vulnerable to my dark memories.
Master read my expression before I could even begin to voice my protests.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m not going to leave you alone again.”
He guided me towards the shower, opening the glass door and encouraging me to step in with his hand on the small of my back. Once I was situated under the warm spray, he drew away from me, moving to close the door, to shut me in by myself.
I couldn’t bite back my whine of dis
tress. I was still deeply shaken by the sight of my scarred body, and even having his visage obscured by the frosted glass was too much for me to handle. I needed him to stay close, to keep me grounded in the present.
He studied me, his eyes clouded with uncertainty. After a moment, he blew out a long breath, the lines of his face heavy with resignation. He kicked off his shoes and then stepped into the cubicle with me, fully dressed.
“Just this once,” he muttered. I wasn’t sure if his words were meant for me or for himself. If they were meant for me, I chose to disregard them. I wouldn’t even contemplate a time when I might have to be without him. I would figure out a way to keep him close.
He popped open the cap on the shampoo bottle and squeezed a liberal amount into his hand. The fresh, clean scent engulfed me as he worked it into my hair, his fingers massaging my scalp. A small moan slipped out with my pleased sigh, and I gripped his hips to steady myself. His eyes flashed and his lips thinned, but his strained expression wasn’t one of anger. I understood that now. He desired me. A small, triumphant smile played around my lips.
“You’re mine now.”
I craved to touch him, to run my fingers over every sculpted inch of him; to worship him. I ruthlessly suppressed the urge.
“You are not allowed to do anything for me that is sexual.”
I would have to wait until he chose to initiate our intimate contact. But I was confident now that it was just a matter of time. Heat flared between my legs as his hands began to rove over my body, sliding against my skin as he washed me. When he reached my chest, he was careful to avoid touching my breasts directly. But as his fingertips brushed just below the lower swell of them, I gasped as pleasure jolted through me, making my sex pulse. His gaze was suddenly riveted to my chest, and my eyes followed his to find that my nipples had tightened to firm peaks. My body was awakening for him in a way that was utterly foreign to me. But I wasn’t frightened by it. It was only right that my body would crave to serve Master in a way that it never had welcomed that Bastard.
The water had soaked Master. Little glistening drops of it clung to the curling ends of his hair, dripping down his tanned neck to race in tiny rivulets down to his chest. His sodden t-shirt was molded to his muscles like a second skin, and for the first time I could clearly see the hard, flawless lines of his body that had been obscured by his clothes. Helplessly drawn to his perfection, I leaned into him.
He hissed in a breath when I tentatively brushed my lips against his exposed collarbone. Emboldened by his reaction, I traced the line of it with my tongue, savoring his unique flavor that infused the water that was beaded on his skin.
He jerked away from me with a low curse.
“Don’t do that.”
The fear induced by his furious glare was tempered by his desire-roughened tone. Still, I knew I had pushed too far.
“I’m sorry, Master,” I apologized.
But I wasn’t sorry. I was thrilled that Master had allowed me to touch him, even if it had been cruelly brief.
His chest swelled as he heaved in several deep breaths, mastering his lust. “It’s okay,” he said, his tone clipped. “I know this must be confusing for you, but all I want is to take care of you. I don’t want anything else from you.”
“Don’t you?” I asked softly, hardly believing my daring.
His brows drew together. “No,” he bit out. His eyes assessed my body, clinically inspecting me. But I didn’t fail to notice that they had shifted to a darker, steely shade. “I think we’re done,” he declared, his voice tight as he tore his gaze from me.
He reached around me to turn off the water, careful not to touch me. Then he opened the shower door and gestured for me to step out. I frowned at his sudden distance, but I said nothing.
Soon, I thought. Master would take me soon. And then I would be his completely, irrevocably.
As I compliantly covered my body with the towel Master offered me, I savored the taste of him that lingered on my tongue.
Chapter 10
I slept peacefully beside Master that night. Despite his evident discomfiture with what had passed between us in the shower, he kept his promise not to leave me alone. He had lain stiffly beside me on the bed for a long time, but he had allowed me to press my body up against his side. I kept my eyes closed and my breathing even, but I didn’t allow myself to fall asleep until his muscles relaxed, his arm snaking around me to hold me close. The reassuring heat of him and the calming rhythm of his heartbeat beneath my cheek kept dreams of my dark past at bay.
Although the room was windowless, I was awakened by the pale sunlight that slanted under the door and filtered into the room. I remained perfectly still, savoring the strength of Master’s arm wrapped around my back, his large hand gripping my hip.
My eyes greedily drank in his sleeping form, openly admiring every detail of him as I was unable to do when he was awake and watching me. He had changed out of his soaked clothes before joining me in bed, trading them for a t-shirt and sweatpants that matched my own. I relished the way his oversized clothes engulfed my body, encasing me in his comforting scent.
Then my eyes fell on the impressive bulge that tented his sweatpants, and my pulse ratcheted up to outpace his. He had ordered me not to touch him sexually, had said he didn’t want that from me. But his body plainly told me what he wouldn’t admit aloud. My mouth watered at the prospect of bringing him pleasure, of watching his handsome face as I gave him perfect ecstasy.
My fingers shook slightly as I reached for him, my concern for displeasing him with my defiance making me jittery. Steeling my resolve, I stilled my trembling and tentatively brushed my fingertips over the bulge. His cock jerked under my touch, straining towards me, inviting more. Encouraged, I stroked the length of him with greater surety. Even through the thick material of his sweatpants, I could feel him harden further in response to my ministrations.
The sound of his low groan made my heart soar, my gratification only increasing when his hips lifted, causing his cock to grind against my palm. My touch trailed higher, my fingers dipping beneath the hem of his shirt to trail through the line of dark hair that disappeared into his pants.
His savage growl and his sudden, fierce grip on my wrist elicited a small, shocked cry from my lips. He jerked my hand away from his skin and quickly shifted his body away from me. He was abruptly on his feet, his expressive eyes glaring down at me from where he towered over me, his teeth bared.
This time, my quivering had nothing to do with either excitement or hesitancy; I was terrified. I knew Master would never hurt me, but the fury etched into his features made me fear that I had done something unforgivable.
“Please, Master. I’m sorry. I thought…”
“You thought what?” He barked, livid. “That you could break a rule and there wouldn’t be consequences?” I tried to shrink away from him, but his hand on my wrist held me fast.
The lines of his face softened ever so slightly in the wake of my distress. “What were you thinking? Tell me, girl.”
“I thought you wanted me to.” My voice was barely audible.
His brows drew together forbiddingly. “I’ve told you I don’t want you to touch me like that. But you chose to defy me. Why?”
“I… I’m worried you won’t keep me if I don’t show you what I can do for you. I want to please you, Master. I want to give myself to you.”
His frown deepened, but disquiet replaced the anger in his eyes. “You can’t do that, sweetheart. I can’t keep you forever. I’m just taking care of you until we can find your family.”
His words hit me like a blow to the gut, making my insides writhe as agony tore through me. “But you… You said I was yours,” I insisted faintly, unwilling to accept his words.
“I shouldn’t have said that,” he countered roughly. “I’m sorry. Shit.” His hand clenched to a fist. “I’m just trying to help you, sweetheart. You’re not my slave.”
Oh, god. I had pushed him too far. I had disobeyed h
im, and now he was rejecting me.
“No!” The word was a wrenching sob. I flung myself off the bed, kneeling at his feet in a show of supplication. I couldn’t allow him to let me go. “I’m sorry, Master. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry…” The words ran together, devolving into a pained whimpering as terror gripped me.
He knelt before me, his arms enfolding me. “Shhh. It’s okay, girl. You can stay with me. But so long as you’re here, you’ll obey my rules. Can you do that for me?”
I stared up at him, clinging to his order like a lifeline. “Yes, Master. I’ll be good. I’m sorry.”
He pressed his finger to my lips, his eyes troubled. “That’s enough apologizing,” he told me. “I need to apologize to you.”
My jaw dropped. What could Master possibly have to apologize for? He was my Master; he could do no wrong.
“I promised you I would always be honest with you, but I lied to you last night. You asked if I wanted anything more than to take care of you.” He drew in a deep breath, his lips twisted as though he had bitten into something distasteful. “As much as I wish that were true, I can’t help reacting to you. You’re a beautiful woman, and my sexual tastes…” He shook his head slightly, grimacing. “My body is used to reacting certain ways to certain stimuli. But I can’t act on those impulses when it comes to you. I won’t take advantage of you like that.” His glowing eyes speared me to the core, and I was shocked to find that the light in them was beseeching rather than demanding. “Don’t touch me like that again, no matter what you think I want. My body might react to you, but I never want that from you. Understand?”
I was silent for a moment, my mind reeling as I struggled to process everything he had just said. He wanted me, but he didn’t want me.
I shook my head, clearing it. I didn’t have to understand. All I had to do was accept his order and cede to his will. It was my only chance of securing him as my Master.
“I won’t do it again, Master.”
Something twisted inside me as I made the promise. But my discontent was quickly chased away by the sweet sensation of his lips brushing the top of my head.
