by Sarah Price
Glossary
Pennsylvania Dutch
ach vell an expression similar to oh well
Ausbund Amish hymnal
bann shunning
bruder brother
Daed, or her daed Father, or her father
danke thank you
Englische non-Amish people
Englischer a non-Amish person
fraa wife
Gelassenheit yielding to the will of God
g’may church district
grossdaadihaus small house attached to the main dwelling
gut mariye good morning
haus house
ja yes
kapp cap
kinner children
Mamm, or her mamm Mother, or her mother
nee no
schwester sister
troovel trouble
Wie gehts? What’s going on?
wunderbar wonderful
Spanish
adiós good-bye
ahora now
Ay, Dios an expression; literally: Oh, God
Ay, mi madre an expression; literally: Oh, my mother
bueno good
buenos días a greeting; literally: good day
chica young girl; also a term of endearment
chico young boy
claro of course
Dios mío my God
escúchame listen to me
gracias thank you
la vida loca the crazy life
listo ready
mi amor my love
mi hijo my son
nada nothing
permiso permission/excuse me
por favor please
por qué why
qué linda how pretty
salud cheers
sí yes
siempre always
sueñas con los ángeles an expression; literally: dream with the angels
te amo I love you
vamos a la playa let’s go to the beach
January 20
Dear Anna,
Christmas seems so long ago! Was it less than a month since I left Lancaster? With Alejandro’s busy schedule, hours often seem like days and days like weeks.
While I miss all of you, I reckon the one thing I do not miss about Pennsylvania is the cold weather. For the most part, we have been fortunate to travel mostly to warmer climates during the past few weeks, and we even celebrated my birthday at a beach in Malibu. The water was too cool for swimming, at least for my taste. But it was nice to be outside during the day, even if most of the people who joined us were friends of Alejandro’s.
In less than two months, we shall embark on the journey to South America for Alejandro’s tour. And shortly after that tour, he has concerts scheduled in Europe. It’s too much for me to keep track of, that’s for sure and certain. I admit to being apprehensive about all of this travel. As I’ve shared with you before, there isn’t much to see between the airports, appointments, arenas, and hotels. But it will be exciting anyway, I’m sure.
Please let me know how everyone is doing. I’m sure Jonas and Harvey are managing the farm just fine. From the weather reports that I’ve seen, I gather that you haven’t had much snow in January. With February being such a short month, spring will be here before you know it. I can already see you and Mamm planning the garden at the kitchen table after supper and under the kerosene lantern.
I’m thankful to finally return to Miami. Even though it isn’t Lancaster and there won’t be any open fields or springtime crops, it is my home with Alejandro. It’s certainly much nicer than Los Angeles! And the blue skies that drop into the sea are truly a gift from God to remind us of how he created this world with a plan for each creature, both great and small. While I hadn’t expected his plan for me to take me so far away from my family, I pray each morning and each evening that I honor him in both word and deed.
I best post this letter now. We are ready to leave for the airport.
Blessings to you, Jonas, Mamm, and Daed.
Amanda Diaz
Chapter One
From somewhere in their home, a door shut, just loud enough to cause Amanda to stir from a not-so-deep slumber. Her loose hair hid part of her face until she rolled onto her back, the white satin sheet slipping from her shoulder and just barely covering her chest. As the quiet noises of morning woke her, she opened her eyes, just enough to see that it was almost eight o’clock. Filtered sun shone through a sliver of the drawn draperies, and she lifted her arm to shield her eyes. It felt too early to give up on sleep. After three weeks of travel, she wanted to absorb the comfort of being back in Miami at last.
It was morning and her body ached, every joint and muscle. With a soft, deep breath, she slowly moved her arm and let her eyes flutter open. Beside her, Alejandro slept, his head against the pillow. She smiled at how peaceful he looked, his dark hair draped over his forehead and his arm covering part of his face. She couldn’t help herself and reached out her hand, hesitating just before her fingertips brushed against his bare shoulder. It quivered under her touch as he took a deep breath, a satisfied and sleepy groan escaping his throat as he exhaled. Despite the travel and the long days, his skin was so tanned compared to her pale complexion. She wanted to trace the muscle that ran down his arm, the one that wasn’t tossed over the pillow. But she also knew that he needed his sleep.
Quietly, she slipped her legs from beneath the sheet and over the side of the bed. Her muscles ached from the past few weeks of travel. She wanted to stretch and work out the knots in her neck, but she feared waking him. With one last glance at Alejandro, hoping that her movements had not disturbed him, she finally let her feet touch the soft white carpet and forced herself to stand. Careful to make no noise, she padded over to the window.
The previous evening, they had returned late in the night. By the time they arrived back at the condominium, it was well after midnight and everything was dark. Now, with the break of dawn, she wanted to see it, the sky and the sun, the palm trees and the water. From the wall of windows in their second-floor bedroom that overlooked the terrace, she knew she would be able to see the ocean. She had missed that view, a realization that surprised her.
Careful to avoid letting in more light, Amanda peeked through the gap between the curtains, her eyes taking a moment to adjust to the sunlight that reflected off the pool’s surface. The crystal-clear turquoise water shimmered as if a light breeze skimmed it. Someone had already swept the patio; not a leaf or flower lay astray. The cabana drapes were open, tied back to the wooden accordion-style doors that were only closed during storms, or so she had been told. During her brief stays in Miami, she had yet to experience anything less than pleasant weather.
In the distance, she could see the Atlantic Ocean. The rolling motion of the water looked calm and tranquil from her vantage point. She could barely make out a cruise ship on the horizon. It looked as if it was approaching the harbor located just a few miles north of their building.
Seeing the cruise ship, Amanda sighed, remembering the last time Alejandro had taken her on his yacht. Our yacht, she corrected herself, immediately feeling uneasy. The idea that all of this—the yacht, the cars, the money, and the fame—belonged to her now, too, simply seemed foreign and unnatural. It wasn’t something that she wanted. No. All she wanted was his love. With that, her life was complete. The accessories that came with loving him meant nothing to her.
But she knew that these accessories were important to him.
During the past three weeks, she saw how Alejandro thrived on his professional life as an international sensation. When she had first accompanied him on the road, she hadn’t paid as much attention to the little details. She had been too enthralled with all of the new places and experiences. Even more important, she had been enthralled with Alejandro. She had been quick to observe that there were two sides to him: one being Alejandro and the other Viper. It never ceased to amaze her how effortlessly he could switch between the two personalities.
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sp; When they were alone together, Alejandro pampered her with love and attention. But when he stood onstage, Viper emerged as he sang his songs, often with lyrics that caused her cheeks to flush, while dancing with the six dancers who accompanied him to each concert. Whether she observed his concert from the backstage greenroom or the wings of the stage, the dance troupe’s suggestive gestures and dance moves were enough to make her more than mildly uncomfortable. And when Viper would grab one of the dancers by the hair or pull her close to him, the dancer placing her hands on his chest to steady herself, and his mouth less than an inch from hers, Amanda felt as though her heart would burst with humiliation.
Yet when she looked around, no one seemed to even notice. It was the same routine that Viper and the dancers had performed at all of the other cities, including the ones that Amanda had been to, prior to their marriage. But still, when she saw him gyrating with one of the female dancers, it made her feel unbearably tense and uncomfortable.
And then there were the reporters and the interviewers.
Despite her continuous exposure to the world of the media during the last few stops of his tour, Amanda still felt awkward interacting with them. Their intrusive questions always led back to one thing: Viper. Early on, she recognized that they took advantage of her shyness and inexperience when faced with the glamorous world of show business. Since she wasn’t one to place herself on some sort of a pedestal as the wife of an international star, she had a hard time fitting into the glove they wanted her to wear. All that she wanted was to be herself, Amanda. But the more she met with the media, the more she learned another important lesson: no one seemed really interested in Amanda outside of the confines of being Viper’s wife.
When Alejandro wasn’t onstage during the preshow sound check or performing for his adoring fans, he was whisked from one appointment to the next. His new manager, Fernando, often accompanied him, ensuring that Alejandro arrived and left on time. Amanda watched all of this with a mixture of feelings. The logistics behind the life of Viper amazed her, but the intrusive idolization of the endless hordes of women who seemed to follow him wherever he went did not sit well with her. Still, he was always prepared and ready to smile and pose for photos. And the lack of sleep didn’t seem to bother him at all. He slept when he could, even if it was only for an hour here and an hour there.
He reminded her of a young horse with enough energy to pull a buggy from Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, to Holmes County, Ohio. He had only one speed: on. And, privately, she admitted that she had a hard time keeping up with him, especially when his days often blended into nights.
So now that they were in Miami, having just six weeks to prepare for the start of the South American leg of his tour, Amanda was looking forward to helping him learn how to relax . . . if he let her. If there was anyplace where he might find that ability to catch up on his sleep and enjoy the sunshine, it was Miami, she thought.
She pressed her forehead against the cool glass of the window, pensively. How long had it been since she was last in Miami? Had it been since Thanksgiving? After all that had happened in the past few months, Thanksgiving felt like a lifetime ago. In fact, she realized that every day with Alejandro was like a lifetime.
Often, as daylight dwindled and gave way to the busy hours of nighttime, she was left with a fading recollection of what had happened during the early part of the day. It was a strange feeling indeed: as if they were going through separate episodes of their lives, immediately following one another but somewhat unrelated. And as one episode would ebb, another would flow, following the other as the earliest one was erased, falling into oblivion. It seemed like the twenty-four hours of their days kept stretching and expanding like a rubber band.
Unfortunately, she knew what happened when a rubber band was stretched too wide.
Even during the busiest seasons on her parents’ farm, Amanda had never experienced a fraction of what Alejandro often had scheduled each day. And without complaining or looking weary, Alejandro bore it well. She had no idea from where his energy came. She only knew that it was consistent and contagious; he energized everyone around him with his engaging conversation and lively blue eyes that sparkled, especially when he spoke to his fans.
One time, many lifetimes ago in Las Vegas, Alejandro had commented that he lived a fast life. While he had praised her for adapting so well to it, in hindsight, Amanda knew how little she had been prepared for becoming a part of that fast life: the paparazzi, the fans, the commitments, and the travel. Always the constant travel. Why, since New Year’s Eve, they had crossed the country at least three times! Just last night, she had teased him that their home should be aboard the jet, instead of in Miami.
Now, however, his immediate obligations were nil. After landing in Miami early in the morning, they were finally home.
Gazing back toward the ocean, she took a deep breath. The sun lingered above the horizon, and the drain on her body told her that she hadn’t gotten enough sleep. Still, she couldn’t lie in bed all day. She needed to unpack their luggage, work outside in the garden, and help Señora Perez in the kitchen. After all, now that they were back in Miami, Amanda wanted Alejandro to have a nice home-cooked meal that evening. His eating habits on the road left a lot to be desired.
Just as she was about to drop her hand from the drapes, she felt him standing behind her. Without looking, she could just sense his body. She smiled to herself, waiting for him to wrap his arms around her, his bare chest pressed against her back. Even though she wore a nightdress, she could feel the heat from his skin through the silk. His fingers tugged at the thin strap of her gown as she felt him kiss the back of her neck.
“What are you doing up so early, Princesa?”
His voice sounded groggy, still thick with sleep. She could smell the faded scent of his day-old cologne, and she felt an intense wave of warmth course through her body that left her lightheaded and breathless. Just feeling his arms, so muscular and strong, holding her, made her feel safe. She leaned back so that her head pressed against the underside of his chin. His morning stubble tickled her skin, but she didn’t mind.
“Come back to bed, Aman-tha,” he purred into her ear, her name rolling off his tongue and his thick Cuban accent exaggerated. “For once, let’s stay in bed until the sun sets. You and me. Alone with no interruptions, no cell phones, nowhere to go.” He held her tighter, his embrace protective and strong.
“The sun has barely risen,” she replied, her voice soft and innocent.
“All the more reason to stay together in bed. Just once, Princesa, sí?”
The invitation was enticing, and she knew that he needed his sleep.
She couldn’t even remember the last time she had both gone to bed and arisen with him. No, on most nights, she either fell asleep first or awoke alone, sometimes both. After his concerts, there were always places for him to go and people for him to see. She knew that his obligation to interact with his public was the driving force behind his self-imposed sleep deprivation. Most of his concerts were back-to-back from Thursday to Sunday, and that permitted them time to fly to his Los Angeles apartment so that he could work with the recording studio and meet with other artists during the earlier part of the week. It had been a long time since she had seen him get a full night’s sleep, perhaps even all the way back to when they were still at her parents’ farm over Christmas.
Now, reluctantly, she pulled away from him and, taking him by his hand, led him back to the bed. He followed her willingly, a half smile on his lips.
“You need more rest,” she said, helping him into bed as if he were a child. “And I am no longer tired.” That wasn’t entirely true, but she wanted him to rest, undisturbed, while she took on the duties of the house as a proper wife would do.
He shut his eyes and relaxed as she pulled the sheet over his chest, her hand purposefully grazing his skin. When her fingers lingered just a moment too long by his wrist, he wrapped his hand around hers and gently pulled her to his chest, shifting
his weight just enough so that she was tucked against his body once again.
“I will sleep,” he said, “but only if you stay.”
With his arm holding her tight, she couldn’t say no, even if she wanted to. And once she felt his tight grip on her, she realized that she wanted to stay. Relaxing, she listened to the softness of his breath as it slowed down. She gently stroked his arm, feeling each muscle that quivered beneath her touch. One of his legs was tossed across hers, another measure to ensure that she did not escape. With each breath that he took, she could feel his chest rise and fall against her back. She smiled to herself, shutting her eyes and allowing a light sleep to find her, once again.
When she awoke for the second time, she knew it was almost noon. Alejandro hadn’t moved much, his arm still holding her and his leg now entwined with hers. Her body felt less weary, and she knew that, with great care, she could slip from his embrace and start the long list of chores that she had already mentally prepared. With a gentle, deliberate movement, she slid from under his arm and managed to escape his hold. For a long, quiet moment, she stood there, gazing down on this beautiful man that God had somehow placed in her life. He barely stirred, his chest rising and falling in a rhythm that told her just what she needed to know: he was finally catching up on those months of eighteen- to twenty-hour days.
And while she missed the farm and her family, she knew that her place was by Alejandro’s side, a place where she longed to be and knew that she would never leave again.
Quietly, she made her way to the door that separated his bedroom from what had once been hers. She could change her clothes without risk of disturbing him, especially since she still kept her increasing wardrobe in that room’s large walk-in closet. But as she turned the door handle to push the door open, she heard him whisper her name.
Looking over her shoulder, her long brown hair hanging in loose waves down her back, she saw that he was not asleep but watching her through hooded eyes. Those blue eyes! Always watching her with that look that made her feel so alive.
