Suddenly disgusted with myself, I nod. “You’re right. I have to release the antitoxin. It’s the right thing to do.”
And I’m suddenly filled with a fierce passion. It doesn’t matter if I’m overthrown. It doesn’t matter if the entire country sinks. The only thing that truly matters is that the people of Ky will have the freedom to think for themselves.
I nod. Maybe the sooner I face this issue head on, the sooner the media and everyone else will get off my shoddy back, and I’ll be able to lead the country in silence. I nod and nod and nod and say, “We need to do this, and we need to do it immediately.”
“Now we’re talkin’!” Walker slaps the desk with his hand and stands, comes around the desk and pulls me into the biggest hug he’s ever given since he first discovered that I was still alive. I wrap my arms around his broad back, inhale his scent that, even after being in Frankfort for three weeks, still smells earthy.
“Just let me get a piece of information from Titus tonight,” I say as I pull away. “Give me a week to clear the immediate problems up. I’ll begin planning the antitoxin tour tomorrow, and next week we’ll begin distributing the antitoxin. I promise.”
“Good idea.” Walker smiles down at me with tears in his eyes. “The Resurgence didn’t believe me, but I knew you’d come around.”
Krin grins proudly, her gray eyes shining. “You are your mother’s daughter.”
Those five words are my undoing. I break down. I collapse into the arms of my mother’s best friend, the one who knew my mother better than any of us ever could hope to.
CHAPTER EIGHT
RAIN
I’m in Ember’s hotel room. She’s sitting by the window painting. Her back is erect, rigid, her usual position during her stay in Frankfort. Smirking, I take a step toward her, think of something snarky to say that will bring that fire out of her, but Forest appears out of nowhere. He holds out his hand. She takes it. Stands. He pulls her into his arms and a fierce jealousy fills me. I look away, and now I’m in Titus's office. He’s dead. Lying on the floor. Blood forming a puddle around his head. Ember is standing by the window, looking out. Not painting this time, just staring at the golden city of Frankfort, her arms crossed, the sun silhouetting her prefect form.
“I was beginning to wonder if you’d show up.”
Somehow, I know she’s speaking to me. I step up behind her, wrap my arms around her waist, inhale deeply the scent of earth and gardens and fresh dirt after a rain.
Her scent is intoxicating.
“Ember,” I whisper huskily. “I’ve waited, so long…”
“Ember?” An arrogant laugh escapes her and she spins around. And I find myself staring into the mocking green eyes of Aurora. I release her, disgusted with her. Disgusted with myself and the fact that I couldn’t even tell them apart. She smiles. “Ember’s dead.”
“No. She can’t be.”
“Oh, you didn’t know?” She reaches out to touch me. Her hands are coated in blood. “She died for me.” Her bloody hand lands lightly on my shoulder. “I killed her.”
“No.” I try to shake her hand off, but I can’t. “Get off of me.” I smack her hand, but it’s no use. She’s staring at me with those always-smiling eyes, and she’s grinning, and she won’t release me, and now she’s laughing. “GET AWAY FROM ME!” I reach out to smack that grin off her face. I want to kill her. I want to kill her now, but she vanishes.
Blur. Everything’s a blur.
Wake up.
Oh. No. Reality comes crashing down around me, and on some deep but unconscious level, I know that if I wake up, Ember will be dead.
Wake up.
Not now.
Up.
Go away.
“Rain! Get up!”
I recognize that voice. I blink my eyes open again, then jerk up to a sitting position and smack a hand off my shoulder.
Jonah Walker sits on the edge of my bed, staring at me with paternal-like concern.
“What the blazes is going on? Can’t you see I’m sleeping?” I try to glare at him, but it’s so hard when I’m feeling this aching relief from his presence.
He chuckles and tosses me my cap. “Hello to you too, Rain Turner.”
I pull my cap over my head. “I thought I wasn’t allowed to have any more visitors. The chief is afraid I’ll brainwash any who have the balls to talk to me.”
“I guess she trusts me enough to talk sense into you.”
My humor vanishes. Sense?
“Please don’t tell me she’s brainwashed you, too?” I hold up a hand. “Oh. Wait. She pulled the wool over your eyes the moment you found out she was alive.” I smack my hand on my knee and stand. This is not going to be an easy conversation, if Jonah only came to talk sense into me.
“Is that the only reason you came?” I stare at him through narrowed slits. “To try and persuade me into following Titus's sister?”
“Ember was his sister, too. You had no trouble following her.”
“Yeah, but she didn’t grow up in the mind trap that is Frankfort.”
“You did, but you turned out just fine.”
Drag my hand through my hair. “Look. Because of my starvation for company, I’ll be willing to endure this conversation. But first, I need a bourbon.”
“I can arrange that.” He says something to the Defender, who leaves the fill the order, and we both hunker down in front of the unlit fire. He takes off his fedora, sets it on his knee, and then crosses that knee over the other. He’s clearly made himself comfortable in the capitol in the few weeks we’ve been here.
“So,” I say. “Tell me why you’re here, Uncle to the Chieftess.”
He smiles and rests two fingers on his chin. “I spoke with Aurora yesterday.”
“And she announced that I’m next on her list of criminals to feed to the tigers?”
“On the contrary, she canceled all the executions.”
That’s surprising. Well, maybe not. She has to do something to gain approval from the rest of the Resurgence.
“I don’t think she intends to kill you, Rain.”
“Holy Crawford.” My eyes roll back in my head. “Stop blindly believing everything she says. Of all people, I thought you would be the last to succumb to her conniving persuasion.”
Jonah’s gaze darkens. A maid arrives with a bottle and two glasses, sets them on the table between us, and begins pouring. Another maid enters with a tray holding a plate filled with steak, potatoes, and fried asparagus. My stomach rumbles.
“Chief Aurora thought you might like a full meal,” she says, as she begins unloading the tray.
Ignoring the gnawing in the pit of my stomach, I catch her gaze and say, “Thanks, but I want you to take the tray back to Chief Aurora and tell her she can shove the food up her—”
“Rain,” Jonah cuts in. He dismisses the maid with a flip of his hand, and she hurries out with the tray, hopefully to carry out my persuasive order.
I grin at Jonah. “I see Aurora hasn’t cured the brainless epidemic in our country yet. Let’s see how she likes that order.”
Jonah shakes his head, not the least bit amused, and takes a sip of his bourbon. My humor dissipates. Clearly, fun Jonah is gone. I pick up my own glass and drain the contents, then dig into the meal.
“So what do you want with me, Jones?” I ask. “What’s so important that the witch decided to break her rule and allow you to speak to me?”
He leans back in his chair and regards me for a moment. Then he sighs. “Aurora is having trouble with the Patricians. They don’t want to follow her.”
“Can you blame them?”
“Half the Resurgence is still across the river, not trusting her as a leader. And the Patricians don’t like her because they blame her for deceiving them and causing Ember’s death.” He sighs. “Among many other things.”
“They have a valid point.”
Jonah’s jaw clenches and unclenches, and he lean
s forward. “Rain, if you want to see some serious changes made, you need to be willing to suck up your pride and work with Aurora instead of against her.”
I roll my eyes and take another bite of my over-seasoned steak. “How?”
“She’s releasing the antitoxin next week. She has it all planned out, and she’s going to every county herself to oversee the distribution. And she needs you to show your support to help the Patricians warm up to her. Their acceptance of her leadership will help pave the smoothest transition to a free-minded country.”
“Support her?” Unbelievable. “I can’t keep lying to people like that, Jonah.”
“You won’t be lying, because it’s the truth. You support the Resurgence, yes? You support the vision of a free Ky. It’s what you’ve been working toward for three years. Aurora wants those same things, but she needs a little help, Rain. She needs help from people who are knowledgeable about the government, popular, but who also want change. Like you.”
A dry laugh escapes me as I pour more bourbon. “I’ll help. And I’ll tell the Patricians who she really is.” I shrug and drain the glass. “And they’ll kill her.” I rise to my feet, officially done with this conversation.
“What the inferno is wrong with you?” Jonah rises to his feet, his voice thunderous and angry and completely uncharacteristic that I take a step back. Blink. Jonah’s never talked to me like this before. It’s kind of amusing and little terrifying.
“You used to look for the good in people,” he growls.
“Yeah, people who have good in them!”
“Aurora doesn’t have a cruel bone in her body. Give her a shoddy chance.”
“I did! I didn’t kill her in the caverns. I didn’t shove her out of our car when we were fleeing for our lives from her brother. And look what happened? Ember died because of her!”
Something in Jonah’s eyes snaps. “What were Ember’s last words to you?”
My jaw tenses. Jackal would try to use Ember against me.
“I already told you.” My voice is raw. “Though, clearly I shouldn’t have, seeing as you’re using her words as a weapon.”
“She said Aurora is the one who should lead, didn’t she?” he asks. “She said she had a mystical experience where God came to her in a vision and told her to prepare the way—”
“She was dying on the Rebels Circle when she saw that. We can’t know it was real!”
“So you doubt her words?”
Now I’m trapped. What worse way could I dishonor Ember than to say that the core of what she believed was a hallucination? And I don’t believe that. Not really. But how can I know God meant for her to prepare the way for her diseased sister?
Jonah sighs. “Whatever you believe is none of my business. But it would be right by Ember if you respect her wishes.” He lifts his arms in defeat and turns toward the door. “I’ll be back tomorrow morning. Then you can let me know if you wish to work with us doing the very thing you’ve spent your life training for, or if you’d rather stay holed up in this prison room and rot.” He turns back to look at me. “And remember, Ember’s not the only one who died for freedom of Ky. Among many Resurgencies, Judah died for this cause, too.”
I stare after him until he closes the door behind him with a latch. Then a lock. I don’t know which hurts more, the mention of Judah and Ember, or the fact that my friend and closest comrade just locked me in a room. How far gone is he? Spinning around, I stride to the table, pick up the bourbon, and take a long, hard drink straight from the bottle, then slam it on the table, cringing against the burning in my throat and stomach and the way it tightens my brain and constricts my lungs.
Wish I could turn back time. When Ember was alive. And Forest was alive. And Judah was alive. After Dad’s beatings and before Aurora’s appearance. Those were the days of perfect bliss. Just after Ember was rescued from prison and just before she left for Frankfort on our first visit.
I’d give my life to go back to that window in my past, when time stopped and the sun decided to show its face for once.
Teasing Ember was my one form of entertainment. The most excitement I’d experienced in years. Her fire was my kindling. Her laughter was my energy. I loved her.
Holy hell, I love her.
And now Jonah is asking me to support the person who caused her death.
CHAPTER NINE
AURORA
We have to have a child together. We have to make it invincible.
The familiar nightmare clutches at my throat, blocking the scream clawing to get out.
We have to make a child, Aurora, he’d said. The lights were dim. Guards stood by the door, ready to heed his every order. They were there to make me do whatever Titus asked, using force if necessary. He has to have full Whitcomb blood, Titus said. It’s your purpose, Rory. To keep the Whitcomb bloodline pure. We have to do it for father. It was his dying wish to ensure our bloodline has an heir.
Why don’t you find someone else? I’d asked.
Because only your blood is pure. Only your womb is pure. Only you can provide my pure-blooded child.
It was Titus's obsession. To always make sure we had power. He somehow believed immortality would be obtained only by a pure heir.
So the only heir he wanted was mine.
I remember the look in his eyes, dark and hungry. I remember the way it made my skin crawl. It was the first time I’d ever feared him. And holy rot, I hated him for asking this of me.
You’ll enjoy it, he’d said, while crawling on the bed where I’d lain. You’ll love it so much. He proceeded to unbutton my shirt, his fingers trembling and cold against my skin. I couldn’t fight him. The guards were watching, making sure I did whatever Titus said. And if I fought him, he might never come back. You’ll love it so much, he said, you’ll want more.
I didn’t.
After that night, I wished he wouldn’t come back, ever.
But he did. Two weeks after he found out the first time didn’t take, he returned. Thank God it took that time.
Because I don’t think I could have endured one more night of that.
I remember the tears that flooded my room. I remember the grief that drowned me. I remember Krin’s arms wrapped tightly around me while I poured my heart out to her.
You have been violated and have every right to grieve, she’d say. This isn’t your fault. I’m so sorry. I remember how she stroked my hair when I was spent from weeping. We’re going to get through this, she’d whisper, kissing my temple. I’m with you. You are strong. You are invincible. I believe in you.
Titus kept visiting. He would lie next to me at night and run his finger up and down my abdomen, and it was all I could do not to scream at him to leave.
We have to keep it protected, he’d said. We have to keep it hidden away from the world.
Like it was a crown made of gold instead of his own flesh and blood.
* * *
I walk through the great hall of the Chief’s Mansion, the memory so fresh in my mind, it hurts. I press my fist against my chest to ease the pain. My nerves are vibrating through my body, whether because I’m about to speak to Titus and I know how persuasive he can be, or because it’s been a full two months since I’ve stepped in the room where I was locked up for sixteen years. Because what if it feels so comfortable in that room, so familiar and safe, that I decide to stay there and let Titus go?
That’s why Defender James Mcallister escorts me. He’s my support, my bodyguard. He’ll be there to speak sense into me when Titus tries to twist my thoughts around. He’ll be there to drag me out if I decide I want to stay. I would have picked Krin to accompany me, but she hasn’t had time to mourn the loss of Forest. She spent the part of her life with me that she should have spent with him. The least I could do was force her to take a week off to grieve. I would have given her a whole month if she’d take it.
I’m slowly realizing that, with Krin gone, Mcallister and Walker are the only ones I can
truly trust right now. Walker has supported me from the moment he realized I was alive, and wouldn’t lay a finger on Titus without my consent. Mcallister is the only other person who wants to see change but also respects my wishes to take things slow by not killing Titus. I don’t know why—surely he hates Titus as much as the rest of the Resurgence, if not more. As chief, Titus made Mcallister do things no humane person would do—killing and torturing innocent victims. The Mcallister I’ve come to know would want to put an end to anyone who believed in that. But maybe because he was a head Defender and saw the machinery for what it was, Mcallister understands the risks we take with change. I need to figure out everything I’m doing before I pull the trigger on Ky, and I need Titus’s knowledge to do that. I want the transition to be smooth, not chaotic.
I cast a sidelong glance at this man walking beside me with the purposeful strides of a Captain of Defenders but the humility of a servant. He’s wearing his usual black T-shirt and jeans. He hasn’t shown any interest in becoming a Defender again since he ran off with the Resurgence. I don’t think he wants that title anymore. I can’t say I blame him.
“Mcallister?”
“Yes?”
“I get why the Resurgence doesn’t trust me. I get why the Patricians and politicians don’t like me. What I don’t understand is, why do you trust me?”
He looks down at me with those coal eyes, his mind working for a moment before he responds. This is one thing I love about Mcallister—the way he thinks carefully about what he’s going to say.
“I was your main bodyguard in the caverns,” he begins. “I watched you every day. Your expressions. The way you treated the children. The way you acted around those who wanted you dead. You tried to hide your true character behind an arrogant façade, but I could see right through you from the beginning. When you attacked Ember, you could have easily killed her. You had all the time in the world to hide her body deeper in the caverns. But from what I saw when I found her, you actually brought her closer to the camp before attempting to run off. ” He bows his head. “Many people see the cruel side of Titus when they see you, only because you lied for him at the beginning. They don’t know anything else, because they don’t know you. But I believe time will show them that you have a kind heart, Aurora.”
white dawn (Black Tiger Series Book 3) Page 7
