Tonight, she was going to show his leaving her wouldn’t mean a thing. Her pride wouldn’t let her tell him how much she would miss him, how much she really cared. What good would that do, anyway? He would still go. He would still believe she was better off without him. She felt his eyes on her, even as he bantered back and forth with Grace. Let him wonder what she was up to. She leaned against his arm, savoring the muscled strength against her sleeve, feeling his thigh tighten when she deliberately put a hand on it. A secretive smile curved her lips. She might still have some feminine wiles left in her yet.
Mindy’s house was already packed with guests. Jaymee hadn’t seen many of them for a while and was stopped numerous times as she wandered through the crowded room looking for the birthday girl. She introduced Nick and Grace as they moved on, and deflected the speculative inquiries with ease.
Finally, Mindy caught sight of them and came over to hug Jaymee. “My, my, dressed up in my honor,” she drawled, as she looked at her friend with approval. Out of her waitress apron, she looked slimmer and even taller. Flamboyant as ever, she was dressed in gold, with glitter on her eyelids, traces of gold dust on her chest. “Jaymee sweetie, you’d think to not outshine me on my birthday.”
“No one can, with all that gold dust on you, blondie,” retorted Jaymee, smiling as she hugged back. “Happy birthday. I see you’ve started without us.”
“Hell, we’ve been partying since the restaurant crowd went home after their Sunday brunches.” Mindy slanted a sultry glance at Nick. “Hi, handsome, how about a birthday smooch?” She winked with unabashed suggestiveness.
Nick grinned, bending down. After a naughty glance at Jaymee, Mindy wrapped her arms around his neck and planted her lips on Nick’s. The kiss went a little too long for Jaymee’s liking, and without changing expression, she calmly stepped on her friend’s foot gently, but with increasing pressure.
Mindy finally acknowledged the silent message. “Girlfriend, you’re a mean b…” She noticed Grace for the first time. “Who’s this?”
Nick disentangled himself, trying not to laugh at Jaymee’s glare. “That’s my young cousin, Grace.”
“Well, hello!” Mindy was popular because of her genuine generosity and her easy acceptance of everyone. She didn’t show any surprise at Grace’s mixed heritage. “So sorry I missed you, hiding behind this big and tall specimen. Come into my parlor.” She waved her arms in a flourish. “Go ahead and get yourselves food and drinks, OK? Deposit all payments—uh, I mean, presents—on the coffee table, my dears. In fact, why doesn’t Grace come along with me to the kitchen, so you two can hang around the adults? What would you like to drink, sweetie?”
“Orange juice,” all three of them chorused in unison. They laughed at Mindy’s questioning look.
“Inside joke, Min,” Jaymee explained. “Just get the girl some orange juice.”
Mindy curled a friendly hand around Grace’s elbow as she led the younger girl away. “OJ, huh? Well, you’re in the right state, honey.”
Mindy’s parties were always casual, boisterous affairs, and this one was no exception. Everyone loved Mindy, and she reveled at the attention. They sang a rousing ‘Happy Birthday’ and ate the triple-layered chocolate cake. There was plenty of entertainment—dancing, pool, chit-chat, even a game of darts in a corner.
Jaymee found plenty of invitations to dance. She was privately amused because she knew her partners weren’t interested in the real her. They were reacting to this new made-up version of her. Of course, she’d done it to get Nick’s attention, not theirs, but it couldn’t hurt to dance with a few other men. Besides, he didn’t ask her for a single dance, and he had plenty of female company since they arrived. Every single woman at the party had breathed down his neck at one time or another.
Even Mindy had pulled her to one side and said, “Jaymee, you have to hang on to him if you want to keep him.”
To which she’d shrugged and pretended non-interest. “I don’t keep men.”
Mindy had rolled her eyes and sniffed, “Silly me, I forgot your men-hating mantra. Come on, Grace, let’s check out the men.”
Grace had grinned and let herself be tugged away, a plate with the biggest hamburger in her hand. Mindy had obviously taken a liking to Nick’s cousin.
Jaymee knew Nick was watching. She knew because she felt his gaze on her, on every man she danced with. She grew a little bolder, accepting a slow dance with an old classmate she hadn’t seen in years.
Someone cut in and she looked up in surprise. It was Jed.
“Hi,” she said, instinctively putting a little distance between them.
Jed’s silver eyes glittered down knowingly. “You’re playing a dangerous game,” he said, in that soft voice of his.
Her chin went up. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. When did you arrive?”
“Fifteen minutes or so ago. I’ve been watching you.”
“And Nick too?” she mocked.
“Of course. He’s important to me.” Jed whirled her around, moving her further away from the crowd on the makeshift dance floor in the room. Seeing her uneasy expression, he told her quietly, “Relax. I won’t hurt you.”
“So why are you constantly trying to make Nick jealous?” she demanded, annoyed everyone seemed to be able to read her thoughts from just looking at her. “You’re the one playing a dangerous game.”
“I have a better reason than yours. I have to know whether he can function without you, or whether he can think when you’re dancing with another man.” He looked in the mirror hung directly behind Jaymee. “And he’s failing the test miserably.”
Jaymee frowned. “I don’t understand you.”
He acknowledged the comment with a small nod. There was a trace of a smile on his lips, but she wasn’t sure, since the man rarely smiled. “All I want is for you to know you can trust me.”
She cocked her head. “I trust you with Nick. I know you have his safety in mind.”
“You’re absolutely right. You can’t trust me with you,” he told her, reading her thoughts again. “If I could get him off your mind, I would. However, since I can’t....”
He gently drew her closer to him as they moved to the music.
“Jed…” Jaymee began, wondering what that last sentence meant.
Jed’s eyes held hers for a moment. “I like you, Jay. Under different circumstances, I might even give my cousin a run for his money, but tomorrow, he and I have to go back to where he was nearly murdered. After that, we have to get this unfinished business done before he can return as his real self. As the Programmer, not your roofer boy.”
“Why are you telling me this?” She would be calm about this, she told herself. She wouldn’t lose her temper. She wouldn’t let Nick or his cousin know how close she was to screaming her anguish.
“Because I like you enough to want to help you,” he murmured. “He has to make up his mind, but I’ll set the virus in motion.”
“Virus? What virus?” Jaymee asked in alarm.
“That’s what I am. What we’re called. Viruses. We’re trained to invade the enemy covertly, Jay.” He placed a hand behind her neck. “Will you trust me this time?”
Jaymee examined Jed’s face seriously. She was afraid of him, but she’d never felt actual danger to herself. It was just the feeling he was a dangerous man, the kind she wouldn’t want to cross. Yet, she would entrust him with Nick’s life without hesitation.
“Yes,” she answered simply.
“Then, let me kiss you.”
Her eyes widened. “What?” She must have heard wrong.
“I’m going to kiss you and you’re not going to struggle.”
He slowed down to a minimal sway as he bent closer to her. She stared up at him, not even thinking of struggling, as she watched his face come nearer.
He murmured, “Trust me.”
It wasn’t a friendship kiss. Jaymee felt the probing of his tongue and with his last words echoing in her head, she obediently opened
her mouth. He deepened the kiss, drawing a reluctant response from her. She felt strange, but she kissed him back. His hand skimmed her back, and somehow they were still swaying to the music.
He was a good kisser, but he wasn’t setting out to seduce her or even to excite her. She could tell somehow; she could feel a part of him disengaged. Just like Nick. No, not like Nick. Nick sent her up in flames. Jed was just...deliberately removed. Yet, she could feel a certain need in him, a certain...
“Sorry to interrupt, but I believe this dance is over.” Nick’s voice was clipped, furious.
Jed lifted his head slowly, meeting his cousin’s angry eyes over Jaymee’s head. “Hello, Nick,” he greeted, as if nothing unusual was happening.
“I warned you about mind games and Jaymee.”
“So you did.”
“Do you think I just said it for no reason?”
Jaymee felt very small, standing between the two men. She thought she understood what Jed was trying to do, but right now, she didn’t think it was working. “Nick...”
Not looking at her, Nick very calmly took her hands from Jed’s shoulders and pulled her close to him. His eyes were hooded as he continued to stare down his cousin.
Jed didn’t blink. “I wasn’t playing any mind games with Jaymee.”
Nick’s hold tightened. Jaymee wondered whether he missed the slight emphasis of her name in Jed’s answer.
“She isn’t available,” he said between clenched teeth. “If we didn’t go as far back as we do, I’d call you out for what you’re trying to do.”
“Be sure of what I’m doing before you start anything.”
“And what are you doing?” Nick asked, as the tiny muscle in his jaw contracted. “Besides the obvious, that is.”
“You figure it out, Programmer. I’m just the point man, after all.”
The little confrontation wasn’t going unnoticed as Jaymee cast desperate eyes at Mindy across the room. As usual, her friend wasn’t much help, giving her the thumbs up for being so wonderfully ensconced in a territorial fight. She rolled her eyes when Jaymee glared meaningfully at her, and finally walked over, a gleeful smile on her face.
“What a nice surprise! Someone I haven’t met. Who is this unknown guest? Another relative of yours, Nick?"” She extended a manicured hand at Jed, as her studied look turned into an interested one.
“Min, this is Jed,” Nick quietly said. A slow devilish smile crossed his face and he added, “My present to you.”
“Ohhhh!” Mindy rubbed her heart. “All mine?”
Jed didn’t say anything, as he just stood there and looked at the blonde woman. His face was as inscrutable as ever.
“All yours,” agreed Nick. He addressed Jed, his voice now deceptively mild, “I trust you’ll take Grace back to the efficiency tonight and we’ll meet at the scheduled time?”
Jed didn’t answer.
“Don’t you worry about him, honey,” Mindy cooed, slipping her hand in the crook of Jed’s arm and walking him away. “I’ll take care of him.”
Jaymee stared after them in consternation. Didn’t her friend have a drop of sense in her? The man on her arm wasn’t to be trifled with! Couldn’t she feel that dangerous aura? She was about to go after them when she felt Nick pulling her away in the opposite direction. She looked at his set expression, and gulped.
“Where...are we going?” she asked. “Mindy...”
“We’re going home,” he told her grimly. “Mindy can take care of herself.”
“But...”
“Don’t push me right now, Jaymee.”
Heedlessly, she went on. “I want to stay,” she insisted.
Nick acted as if he didn’t hear her, pulling her toward the front of the house, stopping only to say goodbye to the few people who stood in the way. Jaymee reluctantly followed, not wanting to make another scene.
“You can’t bully me!” she told him, as she stumbled in the darkness outside.
Nick pushed her into the truck and got in. Then, and only then, did he grab her by the shoulders and capture her lips with his. It was an act of possession, as he thoroughly kissed her until she forgot she was supposed to be fighting him, and kissed him back. He kissed her until she was out of breath, only allowing her to surface for air before taking her lips again. Over and over, he made his point. Only he, and he alone, could make her feel like this.
“Now,” he said, when he finally released her. “I think I won’t spank you after all.”
It sounded so ominous, Jaymee was silent all the way back to the house, wondering whether it was really wise to unleash the wolf again.
Big Bad Wolf: Chapter Thirteen
Rage and jealousy burned inside Nick as he forced himself to ease up on the gas, slowing the truck down. He couldn’t think straight, wanting only to take Jaymee away from that party. He should question his strange behavior, but right now, all he wanted was her.
She hadn’t protested any further since his threat, hadn’t uttered a single word as she sat there, staring straight ahead. His hands clenched around the steering wheel when he remembered Jed kissing her. It was an irrational anger because he knew deep down Jed had initiated it, that Jed was testing him. Instead of ignoring it like his head was telling him, he chose to satisfy the jealousy that gnawed at his heart.
Silence suited him fine. He didn’t particularly feel like arguing or discussing. Tonight, with her looking so damned beautiful, her hair like some gypsy enchantress, she had given him a glimpse of what he’d miss most—her sweet sexiness mixed with that bulldog determination. He knew what she’d been up to, dancing with all those men. He’d understood her motives, and had given her the space to do it. She wanted to show him she could have fun without him, and he was equally determined to show her he wouldn’t let jealousy bother him.
Until Jed had appeared and danced with her. Until he had kissed her.
Next thing he knew, he’d crossed the room, a roaring fury howling in his head, and Jed, damn his manipulative soul, had exposed his weakness with his usual cold, surgical approach. Again, he ignored his training to analyze why he acted as he did; instead, he tortured himself with what he saw.
Jed had kissed her. And she had kissed him back.
When they reached her house, he took her by the hand and led her to her bedroom. She stood quietly by the bed, her hands clasped in front of her. Deliberately, he pulled down the window shades and turned on the bedroom lights before walking back to her. Her lower lip trembled slightly, but she didn’t say anything as she continued watching him. It was obvious she was expecting a fight, but it wasn’t what he had in mind. It was a shock to know he couldn’t stand the thought of her with someone else. After all, wasn’t that what he wanted? To take away her pain and let her live a normal, happy life? Yet, the moment his mind sensed real competition, in the guise of his too-knowing cousin, something primitive had taken over, and all he wanted now was to assure himself she wouldn’t reject him for another.
She just stood there, as he unzipped her dress and slowly pulled the soft material off until it pooled around her feet. For a long moment, he stared down at the lacy, strapless brassiere. Kneeling down, he slid his hands down her legs, savoring the silky feel of her pantyhose.
She just stood there, still in her heels, as he caressed her intimately. Suddenly, he buried his face in her belly, inhaling her soft fragrance.
His voice was muffled. “I don’t think I can let you go.”
The admission shocked him. Every trained part of him screamed out a denial. Letting go was essential. Letting go was control.
Jaymee’s hands were gentle as they framed his face, making him look at her grave, mysterious eyes with their speckled depths. “You don’t have to,” she whispered.
Nick shook his head. “It has to stop. This wanting. This needing.” He stood up and carried her to the bed. Placing her on the sheets, he sat down beside her. “I have to get ready for tomorrow.”
Jaymee understood. He needed to be alone. She f
elt the tension in his body, felt how much he truly wanted to be with her. She remembered how she’d fought a similar losing battle not so long ago where this man was concerned. Now it was his turn.
“Why?” she asked simply.
“Because I cannot let emotions take over. Jed already knows, and he keeps testing me. I have a job to do.” One that took him to too many places, too far away. Wanting Jaymee, and needing her, would interfere. Nick could see no way out. “I’ll be downstairs in the study, working. Go to sleep.”
Jaymee offered no protest as he left the room. She lay awake for a long time, waiting for him, but he didn’t come back. Finally, exhausted, she fell asleep.
As the hours ticked away, Nick worked on modifying the programs on Jed’s flashdrive, using it as an exercise to release his pent-up frustration. He had to get himself back in control. The next few days alone with Jed would be good for him, giving him a chance to distance himself from her.
It was very late by the time he finished. Jaymee’s bedroom light was still on and he hoped she hadn’t waited up for him. He was relieved to find her asleep. Standing by the bed, he stared down at her for a long while, as an unfamiliar deep longing grew inside. She was his to take, he knew it, but he wouldn’t take her away from her world. It wouldn’t be fair, taking her away from all that she’d built for herself, and for what? For a life of unknown danger with him?
No.
Quietly, he joined her under the sheets, careful not to wake her. She curled against his body like a contented kitten, snuggling trustingly when he slid an arm under her head. The longing grew like pins and needles. Staring into the darkness, he absorbed the pain, refusing to nurse the hunger. It would be so easy to satisfy what his body craved. It didn’t help when her hand reached out for him in her sleep, seeking and finding him. He stared in resolute silence into the darkness, ignoring her moving hand, ignoring his own hunger.
He would not give in. He needed his control back.
Holding Out For A Hero: SEALs, Soldiers, Spies, Cops, FBI Agents and Rangers Page 38
