He started awake, lifting his head and looking down at her in the shadows.
“What time is it?” he mumbled, his voice thick with sleep.
Rebecca glanced at the clock. “It’s early. Only ten.”
He lowered his head back to the pillow and nuzzled her shoulder, the stubble of his whiskers lightly rasping against her skin. She shivered again at the sensation.
“You know, if you’d agreed to come to my place, we wouldn’t need to get out of bed at all tonight,” he murmured into her ear, dropping a lingering kiss on the back of her shoulder.
“Oh?” Rebecca teased lightly. “Would you have been as creative if your kids were down the hall?”
“You’d be surprised,” Jackson assured her.
Rebecca laughed softly and patted his hand. “I’ll take your word for it,” she said.
Jackson froze, and Rebecca knew he was suddenly fully awake, but not for any reason she was going to like. He lifted his head to look at her in the darkness of the hotel room. She bit her lip, and tensed, waiting for him to speak.
“Rebecca,” he said slowly, “you have no intention of ever spending the night at my place or meeting my kids. Do you?”
“Jackson – it’s just a bad time,” she protested weakly. “I mean – Tris isn’t handling her parents absence well, and two or three weeks ago, when I pushed Jaime about coming home, she ended up hanging up on me and I haven’t talked to her since. Tris is barely speaking to me any more frequently. Her dad’s gone off to a Buddhist monastery in France, of all places, and he calls once a week but he’s not coming back any time soon, either. But he will at least talk to me on the phone! Honestly, Jackson, this is not the time to meet your kids or introduce anything new into the mix.”
She rolled over and met his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly.
“Are you?” he asked. He slowly cocked his head to one side, his dark eyes watchful and sad. “You don’t really want anything to change, do you?”
Rebecca swallowed and forced herself to meet his gaze steadily.
“No,” she replied simply. “I like things the way they are, at least for right now. And – I really am worried about Tris. I’m just not sure how to deal with her and her parents.”
Jackson cupped her face and stroked his thumb over her cheek.
“You don’t have to do this on your own,” he murmured.
“I’m not. I have Daisy here, and Manny long distance, and unlike my daughter and son-in-law, Manny will come home if I ask her to.”
Jackson heaved a heavy sigh and rolled onto his back, rubbing his hands wearily over his face.
“That’s not exactly what I meant,” he said ruefully.
Rebecca laughed as she slipped from the bed and stood with nothing but the shadows cloaking her body. She looked down at him.
“I appreciate the offer – I really do,” she said. “But – really – I’m okay. Daisy and Manny will get Tris and me through this. They always do.”
He gave her a sad half-smile before his gaze drifted down to her nude body.
“So, you really only need me for sex,” he teased, not quite lightly.
She pulled off the covers, exposing him to her hungry eyes as she grinned wickedly.
“Not really,” she replied. “I have some pretty impressive vibrators.”
She climbed on to the bed and straddled him, not quite touching his body as she hovered over him. She leaned forward and braced herself with her hands on either side of his face. He put his hands on her waist, then slid one hand to her back as the other stroked up to fondle her breast.
“So what am I needed for?” he asked huskily.
Rebecca shrugged, and almost purred with pleasure as his hands continued their explorations.
“Well,” she mused, “you do hold doors for me when my arms are full.”
“I am nothing if not a gentleman.”
“You’ve killed a spider or two in your day.”
“Glad to help.”
She slowly lowered herself on top of him.
“And you’ve fixed my car.”
“Free car maintenance – that’s always a plus.”
She gave him a slow, sensuous kiss that he more than returned in kind.
She drew back slightly and said, “But the real reason, of course, is because without you, I’d still be wondering how to set up my DVR, not to mention my new phone.”
He chuckled as he stroked his hands sensuously up her back.
“I always knew those IT classes would come in handy,” he murmured.
She shrieked as he suddenly rolled her over and pinned her, laughing, beneath him.
“Well, I guess when you’re second best, you just have to try harder,” he said huskily and lowered his mouth to hers.
~~~~~
TJ glanced up as Leah padded quietly down the hallway and paused on the threshold of the living room.
“Hey,” Leah said softly, her voice rough with sleep.
“Hey,” he replied. “What are you doing up?”
“I was cold,” she said simply, “and you weren’t there to warm me up.”
He gave her a half-smile and patted the couch beside him. She shuffled over and curled up beside him, his arms snug as he held her, her head on his shoulder. They sat in comfortable silence, TJ staring somberly at nothing.
“Worried?” Leah asked softly.
TJ squeezed her gently. “Sleep,” he urged.
“I don’t like sleeping without you,” she mumbled, nuzzling closer.
“What would the feminists say?” he teased half-heartedly.
Leah pinched his arm without opening her eyes, and he chuckled.
“Sorry,” he said.
She lifted her head and blinked sleepily at him in the dimness of the room.
“We should hear on Monday,” she told him.
“Dr. Valesquez only said next week.”
“I’m hoping for Monday.”
“Me too.”
They once more lapsed into silence.
“Are you going to worry about this every night until you know something?” Leah asked, her head once again resting against his shoulder.
“Are you?” TJ countered.
“Yes.”
“Yeah.”
TJ swallowed heavily.
“But staying up all night isn’t going to help,” Leah added.
“I know. But...I’m scared to sleep.”
She quickly lifted her head to look at his face, hidden in the shadows.
He gave her a half-smile. “I only seem to be dreaming about the worst possible outcomes. And I dream about telling everyone – our friends, Zeke, work. I dream about...putting you through the hell of a long illness...about leaving you behind, leaving you alone.”
Leah watched him somberly, digesting his words in silence.
“I’ve never made you a promise I couldn’t keep, TJ,” she said carefully, “and I’ve never lied to you. I’m not about to start now. So, I’m not going to say it’s going to be all right – because it may not be all right. The only thing I will promise you is that no matter how hellish it may be, I’m not going anywhere. If – and it’s a big ‘if’ - the worst should happen, I’ll still be here, beside you. And I promise I’ll be okay no matter what happens.”
Leah leaned her head against his shoulder, and they sat in silence, listening to the dark.
* * * * *
Day 72
Daisy poured water into the coffee maker with a pensive frown on her face. She tensed as she heard the bedroom door open and Hub pad down the hall towards the kitchen. She didn’t turn when he came into the room, keeping her eyes fixed on her hands as she continued through the motions of spooning coffee into the basket.
She stiffened when Hub slid his arms around her waist from behind and pressed a kiss to her neck.
He said, his breath whispering across her skin, “So, I guess I’ll cancel my lease on that apartment today and get the furniture moved back
as soon as I can arrange it.”
Daisy froze, then she twisted out of his hold and turned to face him.
“What?” she asked incredulously. “No!”
Hub frowned. “What do you mean ‘no’? We made love last night!”
“Yes we did, but that doesn’t mean all is forgiven and we’re back together. I’m sorry if you got the wrong idea, Hub. And honestly? If you think sex is all that’s needed to solve our problems, you’re sadly mistaken.”
Hub glared at her, and now he was the same cold, disapproving man he’d been for the last few years.
“So, are you saying last night ‘just happened’?” he sneered sarcastically.
Daisy rolled her eyes. “Of course not. We each had moments when we could have stopped, when we made a conscious decision to continue. But I meant it as a – a – good-bye, not as an ‘all is forgiven’. I thought that was how you meant it, too.”
Hub deliberately, scornfully, stepped away from her.
“So – last night was just – what? A farewell fuck before you pack me out the door?”
Daisy crossed her arms and glared back. “As I recall, you kissed me first. And considering you still have a girlfriend,” venom dripped from the word, “I’m surprised you’re so anxious to find some excuse to stay!”
“Does last night make you the other woman, then?” Hub snarled.
Daisy barked a laugh although there was no humour in it. “Maybe it does. Let me know how she likes it.”
Hub snapped his mouth closed, his lips pressed tightly together. He turned and left the kitchen without another word.
~~~~~
Max raised an eyebrow at Daisy’s focused and furious scowl as she viciously typed up his notes.
“Should I even ask why you’re here on a Sunday morning?” he teased, his usual crooked smirk firmly in place.
“Not if you value your life,” she growled without taking her eyes from the screen.
His eyebrows rose higher.
“What happened?” he asked in a worried tone, his smirk gone. “Are you still upset about what happened yesterday with Paolucci?”
Daisy very deliberately lifted her fingers from the keyboard, but kept her eyes fixed on the screen.
“I had sex with Hub last night. That’s what I’m upset about.”
Max blinked, his face expressionless.
“Well,” he finally said slowly, “he is still your husband. Does -”
“I swear,” she snarled viciously, finally looking at him, “if you ask if this means we’re back together, I’ll – I’ll – I’ll put salt in your coffee!”
“Whoa – whoa – whoa!” Max leaned away, his hands up.
Daisy sighed and deflated. She shook her head, rubbing her forehead.
“I’m sorry, Max. I’m just so angry at how stupid I was last night.”
Max nodded cautiously. “Okay. Should I ask what happened?”
Daisy shrugged. “We were reminiscing and one thing led to another – and I thought...why not? A last good-bye to all our years together, you know?”
Max nodded. “Yeah. I know.”
“I thought – what would it hurt? Then this morning Hub was all - ‘oh, I’ll cancel my lease; no need to move out anymore; blah, blah, blah’. I had to set him straight. The sad part? The really sad part? I think he only slept with me because he thought it would save our marriage, and then he wouldn’t have to leave the house and kids! Like all he had to do was give me sex, and I’d forget everything that’s been wrong for the last few years! Hah! I don’t think so!”
Max’s eyes widened at every word.
“Casual sex with my soon-to-be-ex husband!” Daisy continued. “That can’t be so unusual!”
“No,” Max quickly agreed.
“All right, then.”
“Okay.”
“Fine.”
“I...have things to do...somewhere else...I’m sure...”
“Good.”
Max all but tiptoed into his inner office and very carefully sat behind his desk. He winced when Daisy once more began to viciously pound on the keyboard.
Several hours later, Max cautiously wandered out of his office because it seemed the amount of pressure Daisy was putting on the keys had finally eased. He handed Daisy a cup of steaming black coffee.
“No salt in the sugar bowl,” he said. “I checked.”
Daisy smiled and ruefully rubbed her forehead. “Thanks – and I’m sorry,” she said as she took the cup.
Max led the way to the office’s small waiting area and they each settled in to an armchair.
“Feeling a little calmer?” he asked.
Daisy sat back in her chair and stared at the cup cradled in her hands.
“Not really. Max...do you realize I’ve never lived alone?”
He frowned. “Never?”
Daisy shook her head. “Rebecca and I moved in together that first semester at university. I looked after Jaime when Rebecca was at work. Then, when Mom and Dad were killed that January, Rebecca and I dropped out of university and stayed home with Manny until she finished high school. We all lived together while we went to university. I met Hub when I was twenty-three, and we moved in together after I graduated. And, of course, we’ve been together ever since.”
She lifted her eyes to his. “I’ve never lived alone.”
“You’re not really going to be living alone,” Max pointed out gently, his green eyes soft. “You have the kids.”
“I know – but it’s not quite the same. They’re kids, not fellow adults, you know? Plus they’ll be moving out soon to start their own lives; that’s what I’ve raised them to do. Anyway, I’m trying to say I don’t actually know if I can live alone. The thought scares me. A little.”
“Well, maybe when Manny gets back -” He stopped when he saw how vigorously Daisy was shaking her head.
“Manny has the opposite problem,” Daisy said with a small smile. “She’s been too long alone. We’d kill each other if we lived together now.”
Max smirked. “At least you know that and won’t make the mistake of trying.”
“True.”
Max stared intently at her. “You’ll be fine,” he assured her firmly.
“I hope you’re right.”
“Trust me. I am.”
Daisy stared somberly at him. “I hope you’re right,” she repeated. “Because I don’t want to take Hub back just so I won’t be alone. That’s not the person I want to be.”
Max very gently touched her wrist.
“If you take Hub back, it’ll be because you’ve truly forgiven him; that’s the person you are.”
Daisy blinked back sudden hot tears.
“Thank you,” she managed.
Max leaned back and smirked, his not-quite-dimples on full display.
“Besides,” he said lightly, “between me, Manny and Rebecca, we’ll tell you if we think you’re falling off the wagon. If you feel yourself weakening, you call one of us, and we’ll talk sense into you.”
Daisy laughed, a genuine laugh this time. She wagged her finger at him.
“You’ll be sorry when I’m calling you at 3:00 a.m.!”
Max shrugged. “Why should you be any different than anybody else?”
~~~~~
Rebecca cautiously took a sip of her tea and watched Daisy systematically viciously throw each couch cushion across the room.
“Not that,” Rebecca warned calmly as Daisy took aim at a china cabinet filled with knick knacks. “That’s from your parents.”
Daisy paused, then she deflated and tossed the cushion back on the couch and followed it down. She pressed the balls of her hands against her eyes and groaned loudly.
“Are you done wrecking my living room?” Rebecca asked drily.
Daisy stared up at the ceiling. “Yeah,” she sighed sadly.
“Okay, I know you feel like shit – and I don’t blame you,” Rebecca said. “On the other hand, you didn’t go out and have sex with a complete stranger.
Hub’s still your husband – well. Sort of.”
“I made him use a condom,” Daisy whispered.
“You had one? How old was it?”
Daisy shook her head. “He had one.”
Rebecca frowned and opened her mouth, then closed it again.
“Go ahead,” Daisy sighed.
“You really did decide to go through with it,” she said slowly.
Daisy nodded glumly.
“Did you ever think you did it to deliberately try to hurt him?”
Daisy opened her mouth, then closed it again with a snap, her eyes wide and thoughtful.
“Maybe I did,” she said slowly. “Which would explain why I didn’t really enjoy it that much.”
“Oh, please!” Rebecca snorted. “I can’t imagine Hub was ever that much fun in the sack!”
Daisy glared. “He used to be really fun. For a while, anyway.”
Rebecca snorted skeptically. “You need to expand your horizons, Daisy. Honestly? I still find it hard to believe Hub would even have an affair! He just seems so...I don’t know...bloodless and buttoned-down.”
“Hey – I loved him!”
“Did you? Or did you just want to be safe?”
Daisy glared. “That’s a shitty thing to say!”
Rebecca raised an eyebrow. “Come on. You lost your parents when you were nineteen and you met him just as we were running out of what little money they’d left us. Thank God it was enough to send all of us through university!”
“They didn’t know they’d hit that black ice and...” Daisy trailed off. Even after all this time, the loss of her parents still ached.
Rebecca’s voice gentled as she said, “I know, and I didn’t mean that as a criticism in any way. They gave us things that are far more valuable than money.”
Daisy nodded. “That they did.”
She chewed her bottom lip, staring at nothing.
“I really loved him, you know,” she finally said softly, sadly. “Once upon a time.”
Rebecca moved to sit beside Daisy and leaned back on the couch, her head nestled on the cushions, her legs stretched out in front of her.
“I know you did,” she said. “A part of you still does.”
A Life Less Ordinary Page 19
