She’d wait forever for Kevin, but she had no idea how he would feel about her by the time this ordeal was over.
“Darlin’,” Bella said, taking a few steps forward to stroke her niece’s cheek, “don’t give up when you’re this close to having everything you’ve ever wanted.”
Chapter Fourteen
In the days leading up to Christmas, Bree was happy to have a full house. It helped to take her mind off Kevin and the fact he hadn’t attempted to contact her since she’d left his office.
“It must be kind of weird for you, having me here, huh?” Lyle asked, pouring himself a cup of coffee.
“I’m glad you and Daddy came, especially since he’s agreed to stay on for a while after the holidays.” Bree poured herself a second cup of coffee before turning to face her ex. “It’s nice that you have a friend passing through who can take you back to Houston.”
“You’re hoping your dad will agree to move here, aren’t you?” Lyle asked, pouring milk into his cup.
“That would be nice.” She’d missed her father and she knew he’d been lonely since her mother died. “But I can’t push him into doing something he’s not ready for.”
“We had a nice long talk on the way here,” Lyle said, taking a seat at the kitchen table. He reached for a homemade blueberry muffin, slathering it with butter before adding, “I told him the truth about everything, Bree.”
“Everything?” She didn’t think Lyle was that brave.
“I told you last night, it was only one kiss. It never went any further.”
“If you say so.” She honestly didn’t care anymore. She’d closed that chapter of her life when she filed for divorce.
“It’s important to me that you believe that.” He wiped his hands on a paper napkin, then reached for his coffee mug. “Becky and I were just friends. I’d had a few too many that night and I gave her a kiss to thank her for the ride home. I may have been a lousy husband, especially toward the end, but I never stopped loving you, and I sure as hell never had any interest in other women.”
She wanted to believe him, if for no other reason than to put the matter to rest. “It’s water under the bridge, Lyle. I’ve moved on and I’d suggest you do the same.”
“There’s one thing I can’t get over and that’s what I did to you right before you left.”
She knew he was referring to slapping her, which she had no interest in discussing. For her daughter’s sake, she was trying to have a cordial relationship with Lyle and she knew that wouldn’t be possible if she continued reliving what she considered the lowest point in their relationship.
“I thought this would be a good time to talk about it since your dad took Ainsley skating.”
“We don’t have to talk about it anymore,” she said, wiping the counter down with a damp rag. She couldn’t sleep so she’d decided to bake some shortbread cookies instead of lying in bed and staring at the ceiling. Checking the final batch in the oven, she said, “You apologized countless times. There’s nothing more you can say. You can’t take it back. It happened and now we just have to figure out a way to move on from it for Ainsley’s sake.”
“Can you sit down for minute?” he asked, pointing to the chair across from him. “Please?”
Bree wasn’t in the mood to talk about the past, especially since her present had her feeling so confused and vulnerable, but she knew Lyle well enough to know he had no intention of letting this go until he’d said his piece.
“Fine,” she said, sitting across from him. “But I don’t have a lot of time. I have to go into the shop for a bit this morning.”
“Recovery is all about making peace with the people you’ve wronged. Half the time it’s the mistakes we’ve made that drive us to drink in the first place.”
Bree was tempted to comment, to tell him she understood how someone could succumb to temptation, but she decided to let him have the floor instead of interjecting her opinions.
“I was drinking the night of the accident. Not much, but enough to impair my judgement, so you see, when I told you it was my fault my old man died that night, I wasn’t lying.”
Bree stared at him in shock. Why hadn’t he told her this before? “But you weren’t charged with impaired driving that night. Why?”
“My buddy, Daniels, was the first cop on the scene. He could see I was a wreck, worried about whether my pops was gonna make it. I don’t think it occurred to him I’d been drinking and since I’d had Vodka, it wasn’t easy to detect just by talking to me.”
“Wow.” Bree closed her eyes, thinking about whether it would have changed things had she known about this sooner. She certainly may have understood his self-destructive behavior after the accident a little better. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was ashamed of myself. I thought you’d be disgusted if you knew the truth.”
“People make mistakes,” she said, thinking that seemed inadequate when he was struggling with the guilt associated with losing his father. “You have to find a way to forgive yourself, Lyle. Ainsley needs her daddy.”
“I know.” He pushed his empty plate aside before leaning forward. “That’s why I committed myself one hundred and ten percent to my recovery. I never miss a meeting. I can’t deny I’m still tempted to drink sometimes, but when I’m having a weak moment, I call my sponsor and he helps me through it.”
“I’m glad you have his support.” Bree only wanted the best for Lyle, simply because he would always be her daughter’s father and she wanted him to be someone Ainsley could count on.
“I was thinking about making a move,” he said tentatively, obviously trying to gauge her reaction. “I’d like to be closer to my baby girl.”
“You’re thinking of moving to Arlington?” Bree asked, unable to hide her shock. “But what about your meetings? Your sponsor? Your job?” She could list a dozen reasons why this was a bad idea.
“I’m a mechanic, Bree. I can get a job anywhere. And they have meetings and sponsors here too, you know.”
Of course he was right, but she didn’t know how she felt about her ex encroaching on her territory. This was her hometown. She had wonderful memories here, and she didn’t want them to be tainted. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. You’re in the early stages of your recovery. Should you really be thinking about making any major changes in your life right now?”
He smirked. “I’d say it’s a little late for that. You ripped the rug out for under me when you left and took Ainsley away from me. Nothing’s ever gonna be the same for me again. Now, I just have to figure out how to make the best of things as they are. Play the hand I’ve been dealt, so to speak.”
“This is a lot to think about,” she said, scrubbing her hands over her face. At a time when she already had so much on her mind, she didn’t know if she could deal with the added stress. “Obviously I can’t stop you from moving. It’s a free country, but I’d like to ask you to take some time before you do anything. Let’s think about this, talk about it some more in a few weeks.”
“I just want to watch my little girl grow up, Bree. I won’t get my licence back for nine months and even when I do, it’s not like we can make weekends work when we’re living so far apart.”
She knew he had a point and Ainsley did miss him. She’d be thrilled if she could see him more. “I’ll think about it, I promise.”
“Thank you,” he said, smiling.
“I should get ready for—”
“Now that I’ve come clean, don’t you think you should do the same?”
Bree settled back into her seat, wishing she could escape instead. He’d known her a long time and clearly she hadn’t been able to fool him with her fake smile and pretense that all was right in her world. “What do you mean?”
“Is there someone else?”
She laughed lightly, trying to find the humor in this situation. They hadn’t been able to talk like this when they were married, yet here they were on the verge of divorcing, and finally able to have a he
art-to-heart. “Someone else? That makes it sound as though we’re still a couple.”
“Sorry, that’s not what I meant. Are you seeing someone?” He flashed a quick grin. “Is that better?”
It had been a long time since she’d caught a glimpse of the Lyle she’d fallen in love with and she was relieved to see him now. It reassured her he still existed, that there was hope he would find his way back. “I was seeing someone,” she admitted, wrapping her hands around her warm mug. “But it’s over now.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, sounding sincere. “I can tell you’re hurting.”
Bree didn’t expect him to care, much less offer sympathy. “It’ll get easier.” She hoped.
“We haven’t been apart all that long,” he said, staring at her intently. “I’m surprised this guy could have such an effect on you in such a short time. You’re usually pretty guarded. I remember it took months for you to admit you were falling in love with me.”
He was right. She hadn’t been able to admit it because a part of her was still in love with Kevin and she couldn’t figure out how it was possible to love two men at the same time. “This man I was with…” It was difficult to say his name, especially since she knew the effect hearing it would have on Lyle. Now that they were finally getting along again, she didn’t want to rock the boat. “It’s Kevin.”
“Ah, the ex-boyfriend you never really got over.” He ran a hand over the dark stubble on his jaw. “I wish I could say I’m shocked, but I’m not. I kind of figured if you were coming back here it had something to do with him.”
“I came back here because it’s my home,” she said, feeling defensive. “My aunt is here, so are my friends. Kevin didn’t even figure into my decision. As far as I knew, he was happily married.”
“So he dumped his wife for you, is that what you’re telling me?”
“No,” she said, feeling her face grow warm. “I’m not a home-wrecker. His wife left him for another man.”
“Hmmm.” He was silent so long she thought he was going to let it go, but he asked, “So, what happened? Why’d y’all end things this time?”
“His son is going through a difficult time. He needs to be there for him.”
Lyle frowned. “He can’t be there for his son and have a relationship with you at the same time?”
“Apparently not.”
“You’re bitter.” He sat back in his chair, regarding her intently. “No, you’re mad as hell. Ironic that he’s giving up on you the same way you gave up on him, don’t you think?”
Lyle made her wish she’d never told him how much Kevin once meant to her. “If you’re going to gloat, I’m going to get ready for work.”
As she walked past, he grabbed her wrist, kissing the back of her hand as she held it against his shoulder. “You deserve better, Bree. You deserve a man who’ll put you first this time.”
Bree couldn’t say anything, not when she was feeling so much pain.
* * *
It was Christmas Day and Zach and Rennie had a houseful of people. Danny seemed to be having a good time hanging out with Tyler, talking sports and playing video games, so Kevin could relax, at least for now.
Zach sat beside his brother at the bar in the entertainment area, sliding a bottle of beer his way. “How’s it going with Danny? Is the therapy helping?”
“It seems to be,” Kevin said, bringing the bottle to his lips. “He has a lot of anger, directed at me and his mother mostly, but at least the lines of communication are opening and the therapist is helping us sort it all out. When Trena gets back from her honeymoon, we’ll get her to sit in on some sessions so Dan can express to her how’s he feeling.”
“I really admire you for tackling this head-on, man. It took a lot of guts.”
“It’s not like I had a choice,” Kevin said, still feeling the sting of guilt. “He was in trouble. I was gonna do whatever I could to help him.” He sighed. “I know I’m to blame for a lot of this. You told me I should have been there more. You were right.”
“Is that why you’re punishing yourself now?” Zach asked, grinning when Danny beat Tyler at whatever game they were playing.
“What are you talking about? I’m not punishing myself.”
“What would you call it? Cutting Bree off the way you did?”
He couldn’t hear her name without feeling like someone had sucker-punched him. Last time he was reeling from their break-up, he was able to drink his problems away and hole up at home until he started to feel human again. It was different this time. He was an adult and he had responsibilities. He was a father, a boss, a lawyer, and there were too many people counting on him. He couldn’t afford to indulge in self-pity this time, no matter how much he might want to.
“I don’t expect you to understand, Zach. I did what I had to do.”
“You got another chance with Bree and you blew it. Man, what the hell were you thinkin’?”
Kevin knew it wouldn’t do any good to get mad at his brother. Zach was only expressing his concern, but that didn’t stop Kevin from wanting to lash out. “Until you’ve been where I am, don’t pass judgement.”
“Oh, I’ve been where you are,” Zach said, chuckling. “Just so happens I was a hell of a lot smarter. When I got a second chance with Ren, I wasn’t gonna let anything or anyone stand in my way.”
Kevin had wasted countless hours beating himself up for the way he’d handled things with Bree, but he still felt he was in a holding pattern with his son. Danny was better, but he knew it was too soon for him to consider moving forward with his own life.
“Tyler was mad as hell, at both me and Ren. He hated her for lying to him about who his father was and he hated me for being his father. Nathan was the only father he’d ever known and even though Nathan was gone, Ty didn’t want to be disloyal to his memory.”
“I remember,” Kevin murmured, fixating on the granite bar top, wondering how his kid brother found the courage to fight through that when he felt like a coward who’d run when things got tough with Bree.
“Yeah, then you remember we had a lot of ups and downs in the beginning when we were trying to figure out how to be a family. Tyler yelled at me and I yelled at him because he was being so damn obstinate.” He sighed. “Rennie cried a lot and I felt helpless. But we stuck it out and eventually things got better. They would’ve for you too if you’d tried instead of taking the easy way out.”
Only his flesh and blood would have the nerve to say something like that to him and Kevin loved and hated Zach for his brutal honesty. “This isn’t the way I wanted things to turn out, Zach.”
“No? Then make it right.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
“You gonna let your kid run your life or are you gonna set an example for him? Prove to him that the things worth having are worth fighting for.”
Kevin raked a hand through his hair. “You make it sound so easy. It’s not.”
“Never said it was.” Zach gave him a side-long look. “Just heard Bree’s on her way over here. So, you gonna turn tail and run?”
“What the hell are you talking about? Why is she coming here?” He was desperate to see her, but not with Danny nearby to witness to their exchange. He assumed by now Bree was mad as hell at him and he wouldn’t blame her for taking his head off, but he didn’t need his son there to witness it.
“Her oven crapped out on her while she was cooking the turkey. Her aunt went skiing with her boyfriend, so it was either they come here or go without Christmas dinner.”
“They?” Kevin said, turning to face his brother. “Please tell me you mean her and Ainsley.” He remembered Bree told him her ex was coming to Arlington to spend the holidays with their daughter. Surely she wouldn’t bring him here? After what he did to her, Kevin would welcome the opportunity to lay him out, but he didn’t want to ruin Rennie’s dinner.
“Nope.” Zach grinned. “Seems her ex is in town. Her old man too. Rennie told her to bring ’em along. The more the merrier.”<
br />
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Kevin said, covering his face with one hand. “I can’t be in the same room with that guy, Zach. Not after what he did to Bree.”
Zach’s smile slipped before he said, “Bree told me about what happened with her and Lyle. But if she let him stay at her place, she obviously trusts it was a one-time deal.”
“Wait a minute,” Kevin said, raising his hand as he shook his head in disbelief. “Are you telling me he’s staying with her? What the hell, man? Are they getting back together?”
Zach lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know, Kev. You’ll have to ask the lady about that when you see her… assuming you have the guts to stick around and face her.”
Chapter Fifteen
Bree felt sick to her stomach as Zach and Rennie invited her misfit family into their home to share their holiday dinner. She couldn’t believe her oven chose this day, of all days, to give out on her. If it weren’t for Ainsley, she would have talked her dad and Lyle into peanut butter sandwiches, but Ainsley deserved a proper holiday dinner. So when Rennie called to wish her a Merry Christmas and learned about their dilemma, she insisted they come over, and she wasn’t taking no for an answer.
“It’s good to see you again,” Lyle said, kissing Rennie on the cheek and shaking hands with Zach. “It’s been a long time.”
Zach gave Lyle a quick once-over. “You’re lookin’ good, man. Things must be going well?”
“Better every day,” Lyle said, smiling at Bree.
Feeling uncomfortable when Zach shot her a questioning look, Bree handed Rennie the canister of squares and cookies she’d finished baking the night before. “Thankfully, I was able to bake these before that damn oven started giving me trouble.”
“Language, Mama,” Ainsley warned, wagging her finger at Bree.
Fast Break (Texas Titans Holiday) Page 15
