“Catherine Grace, I hate to tell you this but you have a severe case of strawberry rash, known to afflict ambitious young women who consume more strawberries than their growing bodies can handle. The cure is simple, no more strawberries, at least for a while.”
It didn't take Daddy long after that to decide that it was time for my going-out-of-business sale. He said I had surely made enough money for one summer and that I should enjoy what little bit of vacation was left before school started. He also decided that I could go back to the Dairy Queen, probably figuring that Dilly Bars and daydreaming were a heck of a lot safer than strawberries.
After tending to all my financial obligations, which included reimbursing Gloria Jean her initial investment and paying Martha Ann the twenty-eight dollars and fifty cents in wages I owed her, I ended up with almost one hundred and forty dollars in the shoebox under my bed.
I agreed with my daddy. I didn't need to make any more jam this summer. I had learned my lesson, and I think he had learned one, too. Leaving this town was not going to be something I needed his permission to do. It was going to be my choice, and my journey had already begun.
CHAPTER FOUR
Preparing the Lord's Table for the Preacher and His Girlfriend
Sunday lunch was a sacred time at our house. It came with a certainty and sameness that was wonderfully comforting. Daddy would get up before daybreak and read over his sermon, spend a few quiet moments with the Lord, and then pull a chuck roast out of the refrigerator. He'd pat it with butter and brown it in a frying pan. The smell of the meat cooking was our wake-up call, an omen of sorts that this Sunday was going to be just like all the others that had come before it.
Any disruption to our Sunday routine, like when Buster Black finally died of old age and Daddy had to leave right after church to officiate at his burial behind Mr. Naylor's garage, always left me feeling kind of edgy, like something was seriously wrong with the world but nobody was going to dare tell me—the way I felt when Mama died.
But when things were as they should be, Daddy would lift the chuck roast out of the frying pan and put it in the Crock-Pot about ten minutes after seven. He bought that Crock-Pot at the Dollar General Store right after he and Mama got married. Mr. Tucker told Daddy that it was the newest concept in slow cooking and that every family needed one, and being a good husband, Daddy said he wasn't leaving the store without it. Ours was an awkward shade of green. Daddy called it avocado, which didn't mean much to me since I hadn't ever seen an avocado.
Daddy said the Crock-Pot must have been made by a churchgoing, Christian man because it was the only way a preacher could sermonize and cook all at the same time. Even when Mama was alive, Daddy always cooked Sunday lunch. He said the good Lord and a hardworking woman both needed a day off. He added four big potatoes, cut into chunks, one finely chopped onion, a bunch of baby carrots, and a bag of Green Giant frozen peas. Then he'd add a cup of water and one cube of beef bouillon, turn the Crock-Pot on high, and put on his Sunday suit. By the time we got home, the whole house smelled of perfectly prepared chuck roast. It was a warm, friendly smell, and I just wanted to wrap myself in it completely. I knew this was the same smell that my mama had come home to every Sunday after listening to her husband preach.
People were always begging us to come to their house for Sunday lunch. Apparently it was something of an honor to have the preacher share a meal at your table. But Daddy always respectfully declined their invitations, even Doctor Brother Bowden's. He said it was our special family time and that only praying over some poor soul about to depart this world and burying one that already had would cause him to miss it. Or at least until Miss Raines came to town.
One Sunday, after Daddy had delivered a particularly loud, fist-pounding sermon about loving your neighbor as much as you love yourself, he came up to me and Martha Ann, and almost in a whisper, asked if either one of us would mind if Miss Raines joined us for lunch. We both looked at him, not knowing how to tell him that we minded a whole heck of a lot, and then said nothing. He asked again, and I finally mumbled some sort of reply, which he must have taken to mean that it was okay with Martha Ann and me, because the next thing I knew I was putting an extra placemat on the kitchen table.
Our Sunday routine was suddenly changing, and I couldn't do anything about it. Our sacred family time was being sacrificed for an appetizing, young Sunday-school teacher who was unusually talented with a felt board.
Daddy always sat at the head of the table, which long ago had been determined to be the end by the refrigerator because his arms were long enough to open the door without rising out of his seat. Martha Ann and I sat on either side of him, just like we'd always done. But today, Miss Raines sat on the other end, across from Daddy, probably where Mama used to sit. She'd look up at him with gooey eyes and call him by his first name: “Marshall, would you mind passing me the salt? Marshall, would you mind passing me the pepper?”
And Daddy would look at her and smile as if she had said something really profound. Sometimes I wondered if Daddy used to look at Mama the way he did Miss Raines. You could tell he thought she was real pretty, sitting there with her big, blue eyes and long blond hair.
I wanted to show her his crooked smile and the white hairs that were popping in around his ears. I wanted to tell her that he snored so loud at night sometimes I thought it was a train passing through town. But preachers seem to have a powerful hold over some women, at least that's what Gloria Jean said.
I think she was right. Women, and men for that matter, would do anything and everything for my daddy, long before he could even ask. Mrs. Blankenship dropped off five pounds of fresh butter from her husband's dairy farm on the first Monday of each month. In the summer, Brother Fulmer brought us the juiciest, sweetest watermelons from his own garden. He said he saved the very best for the preacher. And Ida Belle could hardly let a day go by without delivering some kind of tuna-noodle casserole or cold, fried chicken.
One time Gloria Jean was pulled over for speeding down Graysville Road. She was driving me and Martha Ann to a Saturday matinee over in Fort Oglethorpe. But when the sheriff walked up to the car and saw us two sitting in the backseat, he just told Gloria Jean to slow down. “Sure wouldn't want anything to happen to Reverend Cline's little girls.”
It was as if a gift to my daddy was a gift to the Lord Himself, just as fine as any pot of frankincense or myrrh. Miss Raines was no better, except she seemed to know it was the preacher's daughters she needed to impress. She brought me and Martha Ann some kind of candy bar every single Sunday. I wanted to let her know right from the start that it was going to take a lot more than some chocolate and caramel to get me to change my mind about her dating my daddy, but, on the other hand, I hated to pass up a perfectly good Milky Way.
Miss Raines tried real hard to be our friend, even offering to play Monopoly with us on the living room floor. And once or twice, she stayed with me and Martha Ann when Gloria Jean was visiting Meeler down in Dalton and Daddy had to rush to the hospital to pray some poor soul back to health.
Personally, I never understood why Miss Raines was ever interested in an older man with two children and his own healthy crop of tomatoes. Surely she was going to want her own little babies and her own house and her own tomatoes growing right out her very own back door. Gloria Jean said pretty, young women always do.
But Miss Raines had Sunday lunch with us for the next five years. And sometimes Daddy took her to dinner or to a movie on a Friday night. One time I even saw him kiss her on the lips, with his mouth wide open. But he insisted she was just a good friend. That was kind of hard to believe since I never saw him kissing Brother Fulmer on the lips like that.
He said he had only one true love in his life and that was Lena Mae Cline and that nobody could replace her. But sometimes I thought Miss Raines sure was willing to give it a try. Everybody at church sure seemed to be hoping for a wedding. I saw all the blue-haired crones clucking among themselves whenever they spied Daddy and Mis
s Raines standing anywhere near each other.
“What could be more perfect,” Roberta Huckstep said to Ida Belle one Sunday morning when she hadn't noticed I was sitting right behind her, “than our handsome preacher marrying our beautiful Sunday-school teacher? Besides, it's about time those girls got themselves a new mother and quit watching so much football and Guiding Light, if you know what I mean.”
I didn't want a new mother. I already had one, and I hated Roberta Huckstep and the other blue-haired ladies at Cedar Grove Baptist Church who had apparently forgotten about Lena Mae Cline. Gloria Jean kept telling me not to worry. She said my daddy would never be able to bring himself to propose to another woman.
“Everybody needs a little adult companionship, girls, a little human contact, just look at me and Meeler. I love spending time with him, but I ain't going to marry him. It's the same with your daddy,” Gloria Jean explained. “But if you ask me, I think he needs to let that poor girl get on with her life. He's still in love with your mama. He always will be. It's one of those haunting loves. No cure for that.”
Maybe. But sometimes I just wanted to be certain. I just wanted Miss Raines to eat lunch at somebody else's house.
Then one Sunday morning, Miss Raines asked everybody in class if they had a favorite Bible verse. Ruthie Morgan raised her hand before anybody else had a chance and said, “Oh yes, Miss Raines, that would be John 3:16, ‘For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.’”
“Oh Ruthie, that's an excellent choice, isn't it class?” Miss Raines responded, cooing like a dove sent from the heavens above. I just looked at Martha Ann and rolled my eyes. “Doesn't that make you all feel extra special knowing that God gave His only Son just for you, and you, and you,” she continued, pointing to each and every one of us for added emphasis.
John 3:16 would be the obvious choice, especially for someone with a really brown nose and a perfectly pleated cotton skirt and matching blouse. But I had a better verse, one that I had been waiting for some time to share with Miss Raines, and now the ideal moment had finally arrived. I raised my hand, looking almost as eager and innocent as Ruthie Morgan, and said, “Miss Raines, I know one. I have a special verse.”
“Yes, Catherine Grace Cline,” she said, clearly annunciating the Cline as if to remind everyone I was the preacher's daughter and surely I knew some extra-special scripture. “Go right ahead.”
“Yes, ma'am. It's from First Corinthians, chapter seven, verse number eight,” I declared, standing in front of my chair so everyone could hear me. “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried.”
As soon as I heard myself say it, I regretted it, feeling oddly embarrassed and relieved all at the same time. I sat down in my chair. Feeling my cheeks turn red, I stared at the floor. I didn't mean to hurt Miss Raines, well, not that much. But I had to stand up for my mama because it sure seemed like nobody else was going to, not even my own daddy.
I knew I had hurt her. I could see it in her pretty blue eyes, which all of the sudden looked teary and sad. She glanced at me and forced a small, pitiful smile, probably wondering why she had wasted so much money buying me those candy bars.
“Thank you, Catherine, thank you for sharing.”
After that, Miss Raines told us to quietly read from our Bibles until it was time to go hear the preacher. She sat at her desk, never once looking up to see if we were doing what we'd been told.
After the service, and after Daddy had said a few words to every member of the congregation, we began our long walk home. It wasn't really a long walk, just about the length, Daddy would say, of three football fields. But today, I felt like I was climbing a dang mountain—and pulling a bag of rocks behind me.
“Catherine Grace, I'm very impressed with your knowledge of the scripture,” Daddy said before we had even left the parking lot. “I understand you were quoting from First Corinthians in Sunday school this morning. Sure does seem like an odd verse for you to have committed to memory, I mean at your age and all.”
“I just remember it from a Sword Drill, I guess, that's all,” I stammered, trying to come up with some reasonable explanation for my recitation.
“Well, it's my understanding that First Corinthians, chapter seven, verse eight, is your most favorite verse in the entire Bible,” he countered, knowing he had me cornered like a cat toying with a mouse.
A moment or two of silence lingered between us while I tried to imagine myself any place but standing next to my daddy. Maybe, I hoped, this would be the end of this discussion if I could just keep my mouth shut. Maybe he just wanted to let me know that he knew. Maybe he figured I would feel so guilty about what I'd done that I would go to Miss Raines and apologize. He was probably right, but for now I wasn't saying another word. Nope, not one more word.
“Catherine Grace, I loved your mother more than any other woman in the world, and nothing's going to change that. But that doesn't mean that I can't enjoy spending time with somebody else, with somebody like Miss Raines,” Daddy said. “And it doesn't mean there is any less room in my heart for you and Martha Ann. Do you understand all that?”
Sure, I thought to myself. Gloria Jean had already explained this powerful need adults have for one another's company. All I needed to say at that moment was “Yes, Daddy.” Two simple words, that's it. But that's not what came out of my mouth.
“Everybody at church wants you to marry her. I hear all the old ladies talking. They think I don't, but I do. So does Martha Ann,” I blurted, no more than sixty seconds after I'd sworn myself to silence. “Heck, even Ruthie Morgan thinks it's about time you two get married so I can get a mama who will teach me a thing or two about being a lady.”
“Oh,” Daddy said, like he was actually surprised people at Cedar Grove Baptist Church were gossiping behind his back about his marital intentions. “Well, girls,” and he paused again, “I don't see us getting married. Well, at least not any time in the near future.”
That was it. That was all he said. It was as if even my own daddy wasn't sure what to say next. And as we continued to walk toward the house, nobody dared to say another word. As soon as I opened the front door, I could smell the chuck roast simmering in the Crock-Pot, that wonderful, familiar aroma greeting me like a dear, concerned friend.
All three of us sat at the kitchen table for a long time, enjoying what we understood to be only a brief return to a much-loved routine. I knew that next Sunday Miss Raines would be back in her chair, staring adoringly at my daddy with those beautiful, blue eyes. Like I said, just seems preachers have a way of getting what they want. But for today, thankfully, it was just the three of us.
CHAPTER FIVE
Confessing My Sin with a Teacup in My Hand
Daddy once told me that if you asked somebody where he was when he heard the news that President Kennedy had been shot, he could tell you right where he was standing. Daddy said the human mind can call up all sorts of details from the very moment of hearing something traumatic. He was right.
I was sitting in the third row, second seat from the left in home economics class when Mrs. Gulbenk announced that, with Mother's Day just around the corner, she wanted us girls to try something new this year. Instead of sewing the expected, ruffled gingham apron that everyone could give their mothers as a present, she wanted us to celebrate our mamas' steady love and devotion by honoring them with a special tea.
I was halfway looking forward to making that silly-looking apron, having always admired all the frilly aprons Ruthie Morgan's mama had hanging on a hook in her kitchen. I thought I might wear it on Thursday nights when I made meat loaf, something I had been doing since my thirteenth birthday and Ida Belle had given me the Better Homes and Garden Cookbook—a must, she said, for every kitchen. But a tea, I wasn't so sure about that. And the more she talked about it, the more uncomfortable I got.
Mrs. Gulbenk had gone to Memphis the summer be
fore and her sister-in-law had taken her to the Peabody hotel for some kind of fancy tea party. She was so taken with all the beautifully decorated cakes and delicate, little sandwiches which had been served that she wanted to share the experience with us—broaden our horizons, was the way she put it.
I didn't mind the idea of broadening myself, but I surely couldn't see how sipping tea from a china cup was going to accomplish that. Heck, the woman had been to Graceland, but she didn't seem the least bit interested in broadening our musical horizons. Oh no, all she wanted to talk about were pretty pink petit fours and perfectly cut lemon wedges, not one word about Elvis and rock ’n’ roll.
Ruthie Morgan and Shelley Hatfield, the first sophomores in Ringgold High's history to make the varsity cheerleading squad, were sitting in front of me, and I could tell they were grinning from ear to ear even though I couldn't see their faces. Their ponytails were swaying back and forth from left to right with such harmonious rhythm it was as if those girls were tapping their feet double time to the same silent beat.
“Mrs. Gulbenk,” Ruthie Morgan interrupted before she could get her arm fully extended in the air. “My mama went to tea at the governor's house down in Atlanta once. I'm sure she'd be more than happy to help you, if you'd like her to.”
Ruthie Morgan's father was a real live World War II hero. He ran away from home and lied about his age just so he could fight for his country. He was barely sixteen and serving in the South Pacific when a Japanese torpedo hit the tip of his submarine. Ruthie Morgan's dad pulled five other sailors to safety before they were surely going to be sucked out into the ocean. So whenever the state of Georgia wanted to honor its veterans, some government official called Ruthie Morgan's dad, and that's how Ruthie Morgan's mom ended up at the governor's house drinking tea.
“Oh Ruthie, dear, thank ya. That's a lovely idea. I never cease to be amazed at what your mama can do.”
Looking for Salvation at the Dairy Queen Page 6
