by Lena Nicole
“I don’t know, bro. With all that sexual tension floating around, it might be worth it,” I reply.
I guess it was Jeremy’s turn to laugh. He shakes his head and says, “Nah, dude. I’m not an idiot and I have no desire to sign my death warrant. And I know for a fact that girl would kill me.” I give him a skeptical look. If he’s so intent on maintaining his distance from her, then why would he go out of his way to help her all the time? Regardless, his response makes me laugh, which I appreciate considering how miserable I was feeling on the way over here.
IT’S BEEN A long week. I am finally taken off light duty at work and although it is great, I’m not accustomed to the fast pace anymore. My feet are definitely going to have to get used to this. I’m supposed to meet Colin for dinner tonight and I’m really excited about it. Ever since we had lunch and agreed to be friends it’s been getting a little easier to adjust. I’ve been trying to not shut him out like my mom suggested, but at the same time I didn’t want to be overbearing and give him false hope. I haven’t talked to Colby in a couple of days and figure I’ll just call her while I am getting ready. It only takes her a minute to answer.
“Hello.” I notice there is a hint of exhaustion in the way Colby answers.
“Hey, Cole. Is everything okay? Did I catch you at a bad time?”
“No it’s fine. Just some more family drama over at Damon’s house,” she sighs. “I swear I don’t know why they bother doing family dinners anymore. It always turns into an argument between his parents. It’s quite sad. Damon tries to brush it off like it doesn’t bother him, but I can see it does. He overheard his parents talking about a divorce when he went to pick up his little brother the other day. “
“Oh, that’s terrible. I’m sorry to hear that Colby. I had no idea.”
“No one does. They paint this picture-perfect image for all the outsiders to see, but Damon and his brother know it’s a lie. I hope they can be civil about it. Damon is worried about his brother since he is there all by himself. He even talked about moving back home for a while so he can be there for him.”
“Colby, I feel like a horrible friend for not knowing all this was going on. I feel like I’ve been so self-absorbed lately. If there is anything I can do for you guys, please let me know.”
“Thanks, but you’ve had your fair share of things going on too, so don’t feel bad. Anyways, what’s up?”
“I just figured I’d call and say hello while I get ready.”
“You better not be having a girl’s night without me.”
“Never. I’m actually going out to dinner with Colin. It should be nice. I’m excited.”
“Sweet. Where are you guys going?”
“He is taking me to that Mexican restaurant I love.”
Colby’s voice changes from exhausted to excited in an instant. “Aww, that’s so sweet! You guys are having dinner at your spot! I honestly don’t know how you two aren’t sick of that place yet. You guys go there all the time. I can’t wait till we can start double dating again! This is so exciting!” she lets out an excited squeal.
My face falls as my excitement for tonight turns into a ball of nerves. Why would Colin take me to ‘our spot’? I mean, it has to be painful for him to sit there surrounded by so many memories of us. Great, he’s probably hoping something will ring a bell in my head. My stomach starts to turn and I quickly get off the phone with Colby before she can make me more nervous.
“Hey Cole, I’m going to get off here and finish getting ready. Can I call you later?”
“Sure thing. Have fun and I want all the details when you get home. Love you!”
I sit in the bathroom staring at myself in the mirror. I was so excited before I called Colby. I figured we were just two friends having dinner. The pressure is building, tightening my chest. I need to calm down. Freaking out isn’t going to help the situation. I take a few calming breaths and do the one thing I know would make me feel better. I text Pierce.
Me: Hey, you might want to get your pennies ready. I’m meeting Colin for dinner. Just spoke with Colby and she said he’s taking me to ‘our spot’. I have a feeling I’m going to need someone to talk to later.
I hit send on the message and finish getting ready. I will not back out of this dinner and I will not change the restaurant. This is just life throwing another curve ball my way. I’m going to give a big old fuck you and face this head on…with a pitcher of margaritas.
Pulling on an orange dress, I check the time on my phone. Shit, I better leave before I’m late. I also notice that I didn’t get a response from Pierce. He must be tied up at work. I’m a little disappointed that I didn’t get to talk to him before I left. He would have known how to calm my nerves. Sighing, I grab my car keys and head to my car.
It is a gorgeous night. I pull up to the restaurant and park my car. I’m about to ask the hostess where Colin is seated when I see him out of the corner of my eye. He stands and I make my way toward him. He gives me a tight smile and I give him a hug. His body stiffens, then finally relaxes, as he loosely wraps his arms around me. I’m half expecting there to be some sort of spark to ignite from deep within my subconscious. But it’s not there. It’s just a friendly hug with no sense of intimacy whatsoever. What happens next is just awkward. We both go to give each other a kiss on the cheek, and collide into each other’s lips. It is just a peck but it is enough that we both are apologizing and grasping for our seats across from each other at the table. I try to break the tension so we can have a good night.
“Next time, we’ll both go right,” I say with a small laugh.
Colin laughs and I see his body relax as he says, “Sounds good. Next time there will be no casualties.” He gives me a playful smile and I know this isn’t going to be so bad after all.
“So how are things going? How’s work? Are you all caught up?” I ask to start the conversation.
“Unfortunately no, but I’m getting there. Being the new guy at the firm I tend to get the a lot of small cases that add up quickly. When the accident happened, I was slammed with work cases that were piling up on my desk. I’ll get there though. It’s just going to take a lot of late nights at the office. I actually just came from there, hence the suit.” He gestures to his clothing with his hand.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Colin. I didn’t mean to tear you away from your work.”
He quickly interrupts and waves his hand dismissing my comment, “No need for apologies, Addy. I will always have time for you.”
That statement makes me smile because he is such a great guy. I just wish I could feel something for him. When he thinks no one is watching, I catch him gazing at me with a longing look in his eye and a loving smile on his face. The night continues on and the conversation is flowing freely as well as the margaritas. We are laughing and Colin asks me if I want to dance. I want to but I need a little more to drink before I work up the nerve, so I tell him to ask me after a couple more drinks. I am laughing at a story Colin is telling me about Jeremy and Morgan while at Morgan’s apartment when my phone goes off. Not thinking, I pick up my phone off the table and read my new message.
Pierce: Hey, sorry for my late response. This is the first break I had all day. So dinner at ‘your spot’, huh? Well I’m here if you need me. One slight problem though. I’m all out of pennies. Do you take quarters?
Me: Haha, you’re such a dork. I will call you when I get home. Try not to work too late. CEOs in training need sleep too you know.”
A little laugh escapes my mouth and I bring my hand up to my face to quiet myself. I put my phone down and look up. My smile fades instantly as I see the look on Colin’s face. Shit. He must have seen that my text was from Pierce and the scowl on his face indicates that he is angry. I do the only thing I felt that would help in this moment. I reach out, grab his hand and hold it tight.
I WATCH HER as she is texting him back and I feel like I’ve been kicked in the stomach. All the air leaves my body as I take in her expression. She has the brightest smil
e on her face and looks genuinely happy. I think I even hear a small laugh escape her lips. This bothers me because I haven’t seen that look on her face since the accident and I wish more than anything it was me making her smile. Not this random dickhead.
She glances up at me and I must be scowling because her smile instantly fades. Shit, I don’t mean to make her feel uncomfortable. It’s then that she grabs my hand in a reassuring gesture. As our skin touches, I feel that spark, that flame, that desire to hold her again. Too bad that feeling is clearly one-sided. She’s looking at me with sad eyes, but it’s more than that. She’s looking at me like a girl would look at her brother. My heart plummets. I don’t want to be looked at as her brother or put in the friend-zone permanently. This was just supposed to be temporary until she remembered the love we have for each other. I hate the situation we’re in.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have answered that while we were eating. That was very rude of me,” she says with a contrite look on her face.
I try to keep calm and reply, “That’s okay. I don’t mind you talking to a friend while we’re hanging out.” I think she gets where I’m going with that comment because she responds by saying, “Yes, Pierce is a friend. I think the reason I enjoy talking to him is because he’s not involved in our situation at all. Do you know how much pressure I feel every day to remember us? It’s constant. I feel it from myself, Colby, Damon, my mom, and sometimes you.” I start to interrupt her, but she holds up her finger. I close my mouth to let her finish. “I know you don’t do it on purpose, Colin. Seeing you makes me want to remember what we had. I know it must have been special if we were planning to get married. So, for me, Pierce is an outsider I can unload all of my crap on without getting unwanted advice. It helps me have a moment where I’m not stressed. And I think the less stress I have, the better my chances are of recovering my memory. Okay?”
I nod. I guess Jeremy is right. I don’t have anything to worry about. Yet. “I’m sorry if I was coming off as psycho or jealous. I can’t help it. I have these feelings for you and they aren’t going away. I’m not saying this to make you feel guilty for not remembering, or to feel pressured. I just want you to know where I’m coming from. But, I like where things are going. I like that we’re able to sit here, talk, and eat together. So, if you need Pierce as an outlet to help work things out, then I’m completely okay with that.” I turn my hand over and squeeze hers. “Thank you for explaining it to me. You don’t owe it to me, but I appreciate it all the same,” I tell her. This time I give her a real smile.
I’m glad we were able to talk about Pierce and I feel much lighter now that I know where she stands with him. Do I feel completely comfortable with it? No. However, it does give me hope that she actually wants to remember. There are times where I was starting to doubt if she wanted her memories back. God, I hope they come back to her soon. Each day is like a slow, agonizing death. For now, though, I’ll have to keep being patient and continue to be her friend.
A WEEK HAS gone by since my lunch with Colin. Things have been crazy busy for me. I’ve gotten to spend some more time with Colin and Pierce. They are both fun to hang out with. The awkwardness has disappeared between me and Colin and I feel like our friendship is finally starting to gain some solid ground. I feel bad because I have kind of been neglecting Colby and Morgan. They have always been there for me and I haven’t made any time for them lately. I walk over to the side of my bed where my phone is charging and text Colby.
Me: Hey what are you doing tonight?
While waiting for Colby to text me back, I hop in the shower to get ready in case she wants to hang out tonight. I throw on a pair of dark blue jeans and a NY Yankees T-shirt. As I finish, I hear my phone alert me of a new text message.
Colby: Me and Damon are going to cosmic lanes at seven. Want to come?
Another text comes through but this time it’s from Pierce.
Pierce: Hey whatcha up to ;-)
Me: Oh nothing just getting dressed.
Pierce: Going out?
I am about to respond when Colby’s call flashed across my screen.
“Hello,” I answer.
“Hey. So what do you say? Do you want to come bowling with us?”
“Sounds good. Do you mind if I bring a friend?” I’m bouncing my knee up and down when I ask hesitantly. I don’t want Colby to read too much into my friendship with Pierce.
“The more the merrier. Do you want us to pick you up on the way?”
“Sure, that would be great.”
I hang up and call Pierce. As I’m waiting for him to pick up, I pace back and forth in my living room. This is the first time I’ve asked him to hang out. I hope he’s okay hanging out with me and my friends. It didn’t occur to me until now that he might look at this as me wanting more out of our friendship. Like introducing him to my friends is the next step or something. I’m about to chicken out and hang up when he answers.
“Hey.” I hear the smile in his voice and it makes me stop pacing and relax.
“Someone’s having a good day I take it.”
“It’s always a good day when you call me. So what’s up?” I bite my lip to keep from giggling like an obnoxious teenager. I feel my face heat up and I’m glad he’s not here to see me blush fiercely at his compliment.
“Well, I was calling to see if you wanted to come bowling with me tonight.”
“Sure, just us?” I start to spin the antique ring on my finger as some of the nervousness from earlier returns.
“Actually,” I say hesitantly, “I’m meeting Colby and her boyfriend, Damon. Is that okay?” I hold my breath hoping he’s not going to change his mind.
He responds quickly with, “That’s perfectly okay. I would love to meet your friends.”
I smile and nod like he can see me. I’m so lame. “Okay, well then I will see you at Cosmic Lanes at seven.”
“Glow in the dark bowling it is. I may be a little late. I have some things I have to tie up here at the office before I can leave.”
“Okay, then I’ll see you later.”
“Can’t wait.” A rush of giddiness runs through my body and now I can’t wait to go bowling later this evening.
Once I hang up with Pierce, I call my parents to check in with them to kill some time before I leave. It’s been a while since I have talked to my mom so I’m sure if I don’t call her she will do a random ‘I was in the neighborhood’ visit. I speak with my parents for about an hour and we make plans to go to dinner for my birthday. By the time I hang up, Colby and Damon are out front waiting for me. I hop in the car and we are off.
We arrive at the bowling alley and I tell Colby and Damon that my friend is going to be a little late. We grab a lane, shoes, and balls. We are drinking and having a good time and are just about to finish our first game with Colby up last. As she is throwing the ball down the lane, I feel someone hug me from behind. At first I’m a little startled until I hear, “Hey, you,” whispered in my ear. The smell of his cologne hits my senses and I know it’s Pierce with his arms wrapped around me. It’s everything I have in me not to melt into his body at this moment.
I turn around and throw my arms around his neck and give him a big kiss on the cheek. I take a step back to get a grip on myself. I’m not sure where all these emotions are coming from when it comes to Pierce. All I know is I am super excited that he is here with me and I’m not sure if that’s a normal reaction to feel for someone who is strictly your friend.
My eyes scan his body and take in his casual attire of jeans and a plain, green T-shirt. I’m amazed how he manages to make something so simple look so sexy. The shirt is snug on his biceps and gives a clear picture of his well-defined pecs and abs. I have to pull my eyes away to keep from drooling. I shake my head to clear my thoughts. Again, my body’s natural reaction to Pierce catches me off guard and I push it to the back of my mind.
“Hey, yourself. How was your day? Were you able to get everything taken care of before you left?” I try to res
train to huge smile that is spread across my face, but I can’t help myself. Seeing him here makes me happy. Before he can answer my questions, I hear a throat clear behind me and see Colby staring at me with one eyebrow raised and a smirk on her face. “Addison, who’s your friend?” she says in almost an accusatory tone. This is why I haven’t told her that Pierce was the one meeting us up until this moment. I didn’t want to be interrogated the entire ride here and while we waited for his arrival.
I roll my eyes and am about to make introductions, when Pierce extends his hand out to her and says, “I’m Pierce. You must be Colby.” Colby shakes his hand and is eyeing him suspiciously while checking him out. Pierce turns his attention to Colby’s boyfriend, “Damon, I presume?” They shake hands as well.
“Yup, that’s me. It’s nice to meet you, man,” he replies.
“Yes, very nice, Pierce,” Colby says in a semi seductive tone, earning her a look from Damon. She shrugs her shoulders and says, “What? It is,” in an innocent way.
I take this as my queue to step in. “Pierce, did you get your shoes already?” I ask him.
“I did.” He holds up his pair of shoes and sits down to put them on. Addressing the rest of the group he says, “I’m sorry again for running late. I had some issues I ran into at my company and they needed to be handled right away.”
Damon walks over to where Pierce is sitting. “That’s cool man. So you own your own company?”
I throw Pierce a half, lopsided smile and mouth “sorry” to him. I should have filled everyone in on what Pierce did so that he wouldn’t have to talk about work when he just got off. Pierce winks at me and gives his attention back to Damon.
I get butterflies in my stomach with that small gesture from him. I’m not sure if I’m imagining things, but I’m pretty sure Pierce has been a little more flirtatious with me lately. The way I physically respond to his presence almost makes me feel guilty. I shouldn’t be having these thoughts about another man, especially one I just met, when I have a former fiancé waiting for me.
