“Wow, Critter. It’s been awhile since I’ve gotten a good dad-style talking to. I have to say though, I never expected it from you,” I said, going back to the business of helping him and the delivery man carry in the boxes.
“Well, don’t be expecting it again ‘cause that was a courtesy warning. You’ll only be getting the one.”
“Noted.”
“What’s this?” Critter asked when the driver handed him a bottle of whiskey that hadn’t been in any of the boxes. He turned the clear bottle around in his hands.
The driver shrugged. “I was told to give it to you by the boss. It’s a gift. A sample for you to try. Something new he’ll be trying to sell you, I suppose. Not sure. I just deliver the booze, impregnate my wife, and keep paying for these damned kids’ tuition. Not necessarily in that order.”
“Thanks, Pete. Tell Mike this better not be no Yankee shit. The last bottle he sent me I used as target practice in my field.”
Pete turned the bottle over in Critter’s hand. Taped to the back was a note that said. NOT YANKEE SHIT.
Critter chuckled.
“Southern all the way, Critter,” Pete said. He jogged off and climbed into his truck. I followed Critter into the empty bar.
He placed the cigar in his mouth and opened the bottle of whiskey, setting down two glasses. He filled them both over halfway. He slid one toward me. “It’s a whiskey kind of morning.”
“I’ve never known you to be a whiskey for breakfast kind of man.”
“You also never knew I was married and had a daughter.”
“Good point.”
Critter clinked his glass to mine without waiting for me to pick mine up. He emptied it in two large swallows, slamming it down on the bar so hard I was surprised it didn’t break.
I spun around the glass I’d yet to take a sip from while Critter was already pouring another. “What about the name that Bridget girl gave Sawyer?”
“Sandy Bennett,” I said. “Josh is on it. Running the name through as many agencies as she has access to.
Critter drained his second glass. He sighed. “You know, from the second I found out Caroline and Sawyer were alive I had to put my need to hurt that motherfucker second to my need to want to crack his skull open. You know why? Because family comes first. My girls come first. But unfortunately, Caroline was right. You were…well, sort of right. I ain’t going to prison when I just got my family back. I ain’t living without them again.” His expression softened. “I can’t.”
I looked up to him. “I get it,” I said, running my hand through my hair and blowing out a breath of frustration. I’d had the same thought myself a thousand times. My chest panged. I remember the hurt I carried around after Jackie died. Enough to send me into years of solitude. Critter had known what that felt like and he’d reached out to me but even he couldn’t break through to me.
“The way I see it is that you and I are in the same boat. We’ve both had some horrible losses,” Critter said, echoing my thoughts. “I think it’s about damned time we’re due for a win. Or a break. Or something.”
I shook my head and traced my finger around the top of my glass. “It’s insane how one man could cause all this grief. All this heartache. You’d think there was an army of him out there. Or that he was the devil himself.”
Critter rested both hands on the bar and closed his eyes for a moment like he was wrestling with something. When he opened his eyes again, he spoke with more conviction than I’d ever heard him talk about anything before. “I have news for you,” Critter said. He coughed and tapped his chest with his closed fist. “Richard Dixon is the devil himself.”
Critter’s face paled and his eyes went wide. He started coughing. When it didn’t subside, I stood up and rounded the bar. He was pounding on his chest with his closed fist. He grabbed the counter for support but lost his grip and I caught him as he fell, lowering him to the ground as he gasped for air. His eyes glazed over. I reached for my phone in a panic. My mind not able to catch up to the events at hand.
“Stay with me, Critter. You’ve made it through so much you will not give up on me now, old man.”
Critter stared up at the ceiling, unfocused. His eyes began to close.
The tings overhead fluttered all around the ceiling indicating the door had been opened. With my phone to my ear, I glanced up to find Sawyer standing next to me looking down at Critter.
She choked back a sob. “Nooooo!” she cried.
My heart sank. For him. For her.
Then…he stopped breathing.
Chapter 15
Sawyer
The hospital was the last place I wanted to be again.
Seeing Critter.
Critter was strong. Healthy. The most stubborn man I ever knew. But also, the most caring. The most loving. I loved everything about him from his deep baritone voice to his ridiculous mustache, which only he could pull off.
When I was there to see Bridget, I wanted to help her save herself.
With Critter lying there. Hooked to the tubes and machines. I wanted to not just save him, I wanted to breathe life into him. I wanted to pound on his chest with my closed fists and scream at him until he woke up and told me he was going to be okay.
He had to be okay.
HAD. TO. BE. OKAY.
Finn stood in the corner talking to Critter’s doctor while I sat by Critter’s bedside, holding his hand with my head on his chest.
“So that’s about it,” the doctor said. I’d been so involved in my own devastation that I hadn’t heard a word she’s said to Finn.
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand, what exactly are you saying?” I asked. “Was it a heart attack?” I picked my head up from Critter’s chest but kept my fingers laced through his.
The doctor looked at me over the rim of her glasses. She tucked her clipboard underneath her arm. I knew whatever she was about to tell me wasn’t going to be good since Finn was now leaning on the wall for support. His face several shades paler than it had been when we got there.
I stilled. I could hear my heart beating when she spoke.
“The short version?” the doctor asked like she was in a hurry.
I nodded and held my breath.
“Your father was poisoned.”
Chapter 16
Sawyer
Poisoned.
Finn and I hadn’t left the hospital in over two days. We slept upright, propped up against each other in chairs. We held each other, not just physically but emotionally. We were beyond tired and I could tell the stress was weighing on him just as much as it was weighing on me. He loved Critter like a father and I loved Critter before even knowing he was my father.
I found myself mentally chanting ‘please wake up please wake up please wake up.’ Every time the machine beeped, my hopes would soar that it was a sign he was waking up.
And every time my hopes were dashed when he didn’t.
“No matter what, we’re going to get through this together,” Finn said. I loved how he was trying to comfort me when he was feeling the same despair I was. “Do you want to go get something to eat? It’s been awhile since you’ve had anything.”
I shook my head. “No. I’m just going to stay right here. With him.” I brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs.
“You know, staring at him like a line in the water, waiting for something to happen isn’t going to make him get better any faster,” Finn said, trying to coax a smile from me.
I kept my eyes on Critter. “I just want him to wake up.”
“You heard the doctor. He’s got a fighting shot. He strong. He’ll make it through. I know he will,” Finn said and either he was a really good actor or he truly believed what he was saying.
“How can you be so sure?” I asked, feeling my eyes grow heavier and heavier. Feeling the lump in my throat and heart swell with each passing second.
Finn slid out of his chair and knelt before me. “Remember when we had a conversation about fa
ith? I believe you told me that the dictionary defined it as ‘the belief in something based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof.’”
I nodded. Although it killed me to tear my eyes away from Critter’s resting body for even a moment, I knew I wanted to look down at Finn. I didn’t need to just hear what he was trying to tell me. I needed to FEEL it.
He gathered my hands in his. “That’s why I am sure he’s going to pull through. I don’t believe in much. But I have faith in him. That man has waited a long time to be with his family. Trust me. He ain’t leaving you now.”
“He always was a stubborn ox.”
Finn and I both looked to the door where my mother was being wheeled in by Maddy. “Mo…Hi,” I corrected. There was a clarity about her but I wanted to veer on the side of caution so I stop myself from calling her Mom.
Maddy wheeled her up to Critters bed then stepped out of the room, standing guard by the door.
With tears in her eyes, my mother held out her hand to me. “Come here, baby. Come sit with your mother for a while.”
I hadn’t ever heard my mother sound that strong, that clear.
Was this temporary? Was she back? My thoughts, stomach, and mind tumbled together wreaking havoc on my heartbeat.
For a moment, I just stood there. Staring. Gawking. It was like she wasn’t even the same woman. My mother wiggled her outstretched fingers. “I’ve got you now. I promise.”
It was those words that broke whatever barrier was still holding me back from my mother. I felt an immediate rush of overwhelming elation. Of peace. The invisible chain of our mother-daughter bond was being repaired link by link with every step I took toward her. I could feel it in my bones.
In my heart.
Finn stepped aside so I could kneel next to my mother, but that wasn’t close enough for her. She reached over and tugged on my arm. “Come here,” she said, pulling me down onto her lap. She lifted my feet over the edge of her wheelchair and cradled me like a baby. I lost it. Sobbing into my mother’s white blouse as she brushed the hair back from my forehead. I sobbed out my job. My frustration. My confusion. My love. She whispered to me how much she loved me as I gave her all the tears I’d been holding back my entire life.
After I’d settled down, I stayed there on my mother’s lap and together we watched Critter’s chest rise and fall with the help of the machines.
“I’ll let you two have some time alone,” Finn said, excusing himself.
My mother stopped him before he could get to the door. “Are you the young man my daughter is so desperately in love with?” The question made my insides smile. It was the same way I felt visiting Finn’s parents. Like this was the way things should’ve been all along. With just a few words my mother was telling me she was not just my mother again, but the mother she’d always wanted to be.
I felt stronger because of her. I wanted to BE stronger because of her.
Finn smiled. He appeared completely unaffected by her comment while even my insides were blushing.
“Yes, ma’am. That would be me,” Finn said. “It’s nice to officially meet you, ma’am. Although, I guess we’ve met before. It’s been a lot of years.”
My mother nodded. “It has been a lot of years. You’ve grown a bit since the last time I saw you,” my mother teased, but her voice remained sad and heavy.
“Just a little, I suppose.”
I crawled off my mother and took a chair next to her. She linked her hand with mine like she’d done it a million times. I looked down at where our hands were connected and I still couldn’t believe it was all real. “You used to steal her sunflowers,” I said to Finn, recalling what my mother had told me during our first conversation.
“He sure did,” she confirmed.
“I guess all of my secrets are out now,” Finn said, rocking back on his heels.
“Critter is very happy that you and Sawyer found each other,” my mother said, looking between Finn and Critter.
He was?
Finn’s smile was a sad one. “That’s nice to hear. The last conversation we had about me and Sawyer ended with him telling me that he was gonna…well, we don’t need to get into it here let’s just say it ends with me in parts.”
“He threatened you?” I asked, both shocked and secretly elated that Critter was so protective over me when he’d known Finn his entire life and had only met me a few months before.
“Of course,” Finn said, leaning against the wall. “That’s what good fathers do to protect their daughters. I’d expect nothing less than the threat of an ass-kicking every other week at the very least.”
My mother looked over to Critter. “He’ll live to threaten another day. Because just like you, Finn, I have faith that he is going to pull through. I can feel it.” She placed her hand over her chest.
Finn excused himself again to the cafeteria where he told me he was going to get me some food whether I liked it or not.
“Two decades and this still isn’t over yet,” my mother sighed. “But it needs to be over. It needs to end now.” There was a determination in her eyes when she said out loud the thoughts I’d been thinking all along.
My mother continued and I found myself nodding along to everything she was saying. I grew angrier and angrier with each sentence she spoke. “After all these years, one man has still found a way to terrorize this family, despite all he’s already put us through. It’s still not enough. Keeping me against my will wasn’t enough. Threatening my family wasn’t good enough. Poisoning my husband…” she paused and composed herself. “It’s the final straw. I’m tired of standing by and doing nothing. He’s not going to stop. It will never be enough...” her voice trailed off. “It will never be enough until we’re all dead.”
“And yet there doesn’t seem to be a single thing we can do about it,” I said, my frustrations bubbling up to the surface all over again.
“Or maybe, there is,” she whispered, the corner of her lip turning upward in a half smile. She took a deep breath and suddenly stood up from her wheelchair. I leapt up, half-expecting to have to catch her if she fell. But she didn’t fall. She straightened her shoulders and walked over to Critter’s bedside like a queen ready to take care of the kingdom while the King was temporarily unable. She lifted his hand to hers and kissed it before covering it with her other hand.
This was a woman whose will, who’s very being had been burnt to ashes and yet here she was, ready to fight for her family. The determination radiating off her was almost tangible. I felt proud. I felt my own resolve to fight build from within me all over again.
For the first time in a long time, I had a feeling that everything was okay. I guess you could even say that I had faith. And just maybe it was because of that faith that a deep voice bellowed from the bed behind me.
“What in the hell is all the fuss about?”
Chapter 17
Finn
I came into the room to find Critter awake and alert. He looked between Caroline and Sawyer then back again. He smiled, his mustache turning upward.
“Now I told you not to make a fuss,” he groaned, adjusting his position on the bed, trying to sit up higher.
Sawyer leaned down and wrapped her arms around Critter. Her shoulders shook with her joy, making my own heart skip a few beats and the tears prick the back of my eyes.
I may have grown up surrounded by these people, but to find out that Sawyer was related to Critter was probably the best news I’d ever heard, despite his threats toward me.
Because now it wasn’t just my family. It was OUR family.
“Hey, Mama. Hey, kiddo,” Critter, wrapping one arm around Sawyer and the other Caroline.
“It’s so beautiful, man.”
I looked over to Miller who was sobbing at the sight. Tears streaming down his face. Strings of saliva connecting his teeth.
I laughed because I couldn’t NOT laugh.
Josh rolled her eyes and dragged Miller from the room. “Let’s let them have some time. You can c
ome talk to him later,” she told him.
“You promise?” Miller squeaked as Josh led him from the room with a wave over her shoulder.
The doctor showed up just as they left. The same one who saw Critter on the first day he was brought in by ambulance. “How are you feeling?” she asked Critter, checking numbers on a machine above his head.
Critter winced as Caroline adjusted his pillow. He continued to wince until he was settled back against them again.
“How am I feeling?” Critter repeated, his bushy eyebrows reaching into his forehead. “Like I’m in a goddamned hospital. But I’m alive. So, there’s that.”
“You are,” Caroline said. “You’re here.”
“And so are you, baby.”
The looks they were exchanging were so full of love I thought immediately of my father’s words. Critter and Caroline had that forever factor he spoke about. I looked to Sawyer and I could see our future together. Our lives spent here in Outskirts. If I hadn’t known it before I knew it then. Sawyer was always meant to be my forever. And I was always meant to be hers.
“I never thought I’d talk to you again,” Sawyer admitted. “When they were carting you away…” she paused.
“Sorry I scared you,” Critter said. “I won’t do it again. I promise.”
The doctor started to ramble off something using words like toxicity, ingesting, countermeasures, and just in time. She finished with, “You’re lucky to be alive.”
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