Brant’s mom gasped, and he reached out his hand to steady her. “Is he going to make it?”
The doctor looked back and forth between them. “We got him back, but we had to open his chest. He’s going to be in surgery for a few more hours. After that, the first day will tell us a lot. Since we have the threat of infection in his arm, plus the added complication of open heart surgery, there’s no way to really predict.”
Brant couldn’t believe it. His father had always been the epitome of health. Now here he was at the age of fifty-two, fighting for his life. “Thank you, doctor.”
The doctor looked at him sympathetically. “I’m sorry. It was better that the heart attack happened while he was here, honestly. Had he been at home, he might not have survived the trip to the hospital. We’ll keep you updated, but it will still be several more hours. I need to get back.” With that, he smiled wanly at them and walked back out of the room, leaving them all staring at each other in shocked silence.
Brant jerked awake, his body aching from falling asleep in a chair. What time was it? He blinked his eyes. Midnight. He looked over at his sisters, huddled on either side of his mom, all of them passed out from exhaustion. He couldn’t believe they still hadn’t heard anything about his dad.
Standing up, he stretched, his back sore. He needed some coffee, but after asking someone what was going on. It had been a long time since the doctor had been out to see them. In his opinion, that wasn’t a good sign.
Brant walked up to the nurses’ station, seeing no one down either side of the hallway. He waited, drumming his fingers on the counter. What if something happened to his dad? If he died, how would they go on? What would his mother do with the ranch? You refused to help him, he thought. So there isn’t anyone to take over the ranch. The business that’s been in your family for generations will be gone; sold to someone else.
“Can I help you?” Brant turned to the nurse who had stepped behind the desk. He recognized her, but he didn’t remember from where.
“I’m looking for an update on my dad,” he answered. “Robert Tucker. The doctor came out hours ago and said he would be in surgery for a while still, but we haven’t heard anything in a long time.”
“I thought that was you,” she said. “Brant. It’s been a long time.” He looked at her nametag. Bailey Lewis. He had ‘dated’ her in college. More like, they had been friends with benefits, but whatever.
“Bailey,” he said, trying to smile. “How’ve you been?”
“Good,” she said. “Sorry to hear about your dad. Let me see what I can find out.” She paused, clicking some keys on the computer. “So you’re still modeling, right?”
He sighed, not wanting to chit-chat with her right now. “Yes.” She looked down at his ring finger, then back up at him. Oh, great. His dad was possibly dying and she was hitting on him.
“Looking good,” she commented, eyeing him up and down. “But then again, you always did. Hang on, I’ll be right back.”
He watched as she walked down the hall, and he couldn’t stop himself from thinking that Lacey looked so much sexier in her scrubs. He felt so bad for canceling dinner, and even worse that Max was probably thinking he left him. He wondered absently if Lacey would come over another time for dinner.
“Brant?” Bailey was back. “Your dad’s surgery just finished and they’re wheeling him into recovery now.”
“So he’s okay?”
“Well, he had two major surgeries, so I wouldn’t say ‘okay’,” she admitted. “But, he’s alive. He’ll be in ICU, and the next couple of days are vital to his recovery. He has a long road ahead of him, but if he can survive the next few days, it’ll be good.”
He was alive. Still in serious condition, but alive. A wave of relief so strong it almost buckled his knees washed over him. “Can we see him?”
She shook her head. “Probably not until morning. He’ll be in recovery for a few hours, then they’ll transfer him to ICU. There’s no visitation overnight in ICU, and even when you can go, only one of you can go at a time, and just for a few minutes. He needs his rest.”
Brant nodded, knowing his mother wasn’t going to like that answer.
“The doctor should be out soon to answer any questions you may have,” she said, resting her hand on his arm. “I’m sorry this happened to him. If you need anything, I’m on until seven this morning.”
He smiled thinly. Any other time, he would probably have flirted back with her. She was a beautiful woman, and she had been a lot of fun years ago. But right now, with visions of Lacey, Max, and now his father invading his brain, he had nothing left for a nurse who just told him his dad could still die. Now he had to go wake up his mom and sisters and tell them the doctor was coming to talk to them.
“He’s going to make it, right?” Heather’s wobbly voice snapped Brant back to reality. They had been sitting in this room for over fourteen hours. When the doctor had come in right after he finished talking to Bailey, he had repeated what she had told him. Since then, they had sat right here, watching the minutes go by agonizingly slow.
Thankfully, there had been no problems overnight, so his mother had just been allowed to go up to see him for the first time, leaving Brant and his sisters in the waiting room. Brooke gripped his hand, not saying a word.
Brant didn’t know what to say. In so many ways, they were still so young. They needed their dad. Not that he didn’t, but their relationship wasn’t the same. His dad thought the moon and stars were hung by those two girls. “I really hope so,” he finally said. “He’s always been a strong and healthy guy. I’m sure if anyone can come back from this, it’s him.”
Heather nodded, resting her head on his shoulder. He kissed her forehead, wishing he could do more to take this fear away from his mom and sisters. As it was, he was barely hanging on.
When his mother walked back into the room, tears were streaming down her cheeks like overflowing rivers. The three of them stood up, waiting for her to compose herself so she could talk.
“H-he’s alive,” she choked out, trying but failing to stop the tears. “B-but he has so many machines hooked up to him, and he-he looks dead. He’s completely wrapped in bandages on his chest and right arm. I-I can’t stand seeing him like that. He should be at home, out working the horses…”
Brant stepped forward and wrapped his arms around his mother’s slender shoulders. She shook as she sobbed into his chest. “He’s strong, Mom. He’s a fighter. You have to believe.” She nodded, and then Brooke and Heather stepped up and joined them, and the four of them stood there silently, holding onto each other, wishing and praying that he would be okay.
She hadn’t heard from Brant in days. He had called the receptionist and explained the situation, but hadn’t asked for her. She figured that was for the best. Max was still at the vet, and he was doing really well. She spent as much time with him as she could, staying late and coming in early, so he didn’t seem to be out of sorts. She knew it had to be killing Brant, leaving Max there, but she also knew he wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t completely necessary. Lacey had thought about taking Max home with her, but she didn’t want to overstep. She felt bad, but she couldn’t make herself contact him, figuring he was too busy with his family for her to bother him.
His dad had suffered a heart attack, as well as had an injury, and even after his open heart surgery, was hanging in there. She thought briefly about going to see Brant at the hospital, but she couldn’t. First, she didn’t want to give him the wrong idea about her interest in him, and second, she stayed away from all hospitals as much as she could. It didn’t put her in a good place, and that was nothing Brant needed to deal with right now.
Sam was coming home tonight, and she was so excited to see her best friend. With Sam’s crazy schedule now, the time they got to spend together was few and far between. She couldn’t wait to hold her ‘niece’ and see how big she had gotten while they were gone.
Her phone sounded with a text, and she saw that it was Aubr
ey.
Doctor’s office called to remind us of our appointments. Did you get the message?
Lacey groaned. It was that time again. How could she forget? They had to go every year and be even more poked and violated than the normal woman, due to their family history. Because their mom died before the hereditary testing was available for the breast cancer gene, they had to be monitored like they were high risk.
When Lacey was eighteen and had to start being monitored more closely, she discussed doing a voluntary double mastectomy just to eliminate any chance of it happening to her, but her doctor wouldn’t do it. Last year, at twenty-five, she was supposed to do her first mammogram but she had put it off. She knew the doctor would yell at her for it, and she knew she was being ridiculous. Aubrey hadn’t had to have one yet, being only twenty-two. Lacey was scared. She felt fine, did her monthly breast exams, and her doctor had never had any cause for concern. When you lose someone so close to you in that way, sometimes all you want to do is stick your head in the sand and pretend it’s not a possibility for it to happen to you, too.
Didn’t check my messages yet today. When is it?
Friday. Want me to pick you up at work, or meet me there?
Lacey sighed. She wished she never had to go there again. I’ll meet you there. Thanks, Aub.
Grabbing her purse, she went to say goodbye to Max and head to Sam’s house. She needed a night to put all of this craziness swirling around in her head to the side and just relax.
Lacey pulled into the massive estate that was Sam’s house, stopping at the gate to say hello to Butch, who waved her through with a big smile. She remembered when she used to be able to just drive up Sam’s driveway, park, and go see her. Now she had to be ‘let in’ by security. That was so crazy.
Pulling up next to Sam’s SUV and Ellis’ Mustang, Lacey stepped out of her car and looked around. This house was something out of a magazine. When Sam had bought it right after she and Ellis had gotten together, it had really hit Lacey that her best friend was big time. Thankfully, it hadn’t changed Sam at all, and she was still the same down to earth girl she had always loved. With a hot husband. And a kick-ass, what-dreams-are-made-of career.
“Lacey!” Ellis’ voice boomed from the front door, where he was holding a sleeping Kerrigan. She loved that Sam named her after her maiden name, but called her Kerri. She smiled at him, her heart full for her best friend. She really had it all now. There was no doubt in her mind that Ellis lived and breathed not only Sam, but their new daughter as well.
“Hey Ellis! How was Florida?”
“Great, but it’s even better to be home. Come on in.” He shut the door behind her and she immediately went for the baby, removing her from her dad’s arms. She squirmed in her sleep, then settled peacefully on her chest. Lacey stroked her soft skin, inhaling the sweet smell of newborn. “Sam will be right out. She wanted to take a shower, freshen up.”
“Hi Lacey!” Mason bounded into the room. Mason was Ellis’ son from when he was just a kid, and they had been reunited a few years ago. Sam had adopted him after they got married, and he was now sixteen. He was a good kid, and she liked spending time talking football and girls with him.
She hugged him gently, careful not to wake Kerri. He leaned down and kissed his sister on the head, and she wondered absently what it would be like to have someone love her that much. She moved over to the couch, settling herself carefully. She touched Kerri’s dark hair, just like her mom’s, feeling her breathing against her.
“She looks good on you,” Sam said, coming into the room. She loved seeing her like this, relaxed and carefree. Her hair was pulled into a bun on top of her head and she wore yoga pants and a tank top. It wasn’t that often that she got to be that way. You would’ve never known that she had a baby a few weeks ago.
“Mason and I are heading out to the pool,” Ellis said, kissing Sam briefly. Even in that little exchange, Lacey saw it. Love. “You guys enjoy your girls’ time.”
The friends hugged, and Lacey fought tears. So much was churning through her right now. Sam pulled away and searched her face, knowing her.
“Want to talk?”
Lacey shook her head. “Not right now. Tell me about Florida. And Kerri. She’s grown so much while you were gone.”
Sam kissed her daughter’s fingers, then settled back next to Lacey. “We really did nothing but relax in Florida. Had our friends over for a couple beach days, but that’s really all. Ellis and Mason played football all day, every day. Mason spent every evening over with Jillian and her family. I think he’s in love, but he’s being smart about it. Ellis also made me rest and took care of Kerri a lot, which was very nice.”
“Such a dream,” Lacey teased.
“You got that right,” Sam laughed. “So tell me, how was the ‘house call’, disguised as a date a few days ago?”
“Didn’t happen.”
“Lacey!”
“It wasn’t me! His dad had a bad accident and was hospitalized. Then he had a heart attack while in surgery.”
“Oh my word, Lace! That’s terrible! That poor guy went through it this week! First his dog, now his dad…”
She was a horrible person. She hadn’t even thought of that. She was so focused on the things going on with her, she didn’t think of how he must feel with everything crumbling around him as well.
“Is his dad okay?”
“He’s in ICU, but stable,” Lacey answered. “I haven’t talked to Brant since his dad was taken in.”
Sam narrowed her eyes at her. “You haven’t talked to him.”
“No.”
“Lacey Russell,” Sam grumbled. “What am I going to do with you?”
“Look,” Lacey said. “He’s a player, okay? So I liked him and he seemed to like me. He has women falling at his feet all the time.”
“And you know this how? You only talked to the guy a few times over what, two days?”
“He’s a model, Sam. He travels, he appears in magazines and he’s really going to make it…” She trailed off, looking down at Kerri so she didn’t have to see Sam’s eyes.
“I get it,” she answered finally. “You’re scared shitless because of what has happened with me, and that you fear you aren’t good enough for him.” Sam leaned back against the couch. “Lacey, you have to give someone a chance. Who’s to say that this guy is a player? You’re stereotyping him. Like you said, he has women falling at his feet all the time. But it’s apparent he doesn’t want them. He asked you to dinner, Lacey. He asked for your phone number. Doesn’t that count for something?”
“That doesn’t mean I’m the only one he has done that with,” Lacey argued. “He could have a different girl every night.” The problem was, she kind of didn’t believe that.
“I think you’re looking for any excuse not to give him a chance,” Sam said. “It’s coming up, isn’t it?”
“What?”
“Your doctor’s appointment. The time every year when you go into panic mode.”
That was the thing about best friends. They called you on your shit whether you were ready for it or not. “Sam…”
“Lacey, come on. Just because your mom had cancer doesn’t mean it’s ever going to happen to you! You can’t live your life shut off from the possibility of being happy just because there’s a threat there that you could get sick. The threat is the same for all of us. I could get sick, so could Ellis, or Mason, or even little Kerri. It happens every day. But I can’t walk around all day pushing them all away because I’m afraid to lose them.”
One solitary tear dropped from her eye and hit Kerri’s arm. Lacey wiped it away, staring at the small wrinkles in her newborn skin. Did she want this? To be loved, like Ellis loved Sam? To hold her own newborn baby in her arms? To risk it all?
“What your dad did doesn’t have to define you anymore, Lacey. Look at my friend Kayley. Her husband died when she was pregnant with her daughter. Alexis is now ten years old, and Kayley and Ben have three more children togeth
er. She’s happier than she has ever been in her life. What if she had never given herself a chance to fall in love again? What if she was too afraid because she has lost too much? Where would she be now?”
Lacey thought of beautiful Kayley and her husband Ben. If there was ever a couple, other than Sam and Ellis, that she thought belonged together, it was those two. And Kayley had been a widow at a very young age. Younger than her dad. She had not only survived, she had thrived. By letting Ben in. “I just don’t know,” she whispered. “I’m so scared. Of everything. Of loving someone, then losing them, or having a family and them losing me. I’m afraid that one of these times I go to the doctor, it isn’t going to be good news. That I’m going to be one more person that leaves behind shattered people. It would be bad enough to leave you and Aubrey.”
“Lacey,” Sam took her hands. “You can’t live your life this way, in a constant state of what-if. Maybe you should talk to someone, have you thought of that?”
Lacey thought about her words. She had seen a counselor for years after her mom passed away, but she had felt in control for the last several years. But maybe instead of being in control she was really just shutting all of her feelings off.
“Let’s not spend our night together being sad,” Sam said when Lacey didn’t answer. “But do me a favor. Call him. You need to extend the olive branch here, show him that you are thinking about him. Offer to take him a meal or to take his dog home with you and take care of him. You have such a big heart, Lacey. Show more than just me and Aubrey that you do. The guy has gone through hell this week. Even if it turns out to be nothing between you two, you can at least be a friend.”
“Babe!” Ellis’ voice boomed from the French doors out to the pool. “Can you get us some towels? There’s none out here.”
Lacey watched as Sam got up, gave her a small smile then walked out of her sight. She knew she was right. But could she do it? Did she want to do it?
Finding Forever (Living Again #4) Page 6
