Epilogue
Natasha
All of me, loves all of you.
- John Legend
Nina begins to stir in her bassinet, and I know what that means. Even though she is so small and helpless this child has a clock inside of her. She nails being right on the dot when it's time for Mama to feed her.
As I get up to scoop her into my arms and bring her to the sofa with me, I still can't believe even after 7 months since her birth that I am a mother. Other than my body, I think I should feel different, and yet, I don’t. It doesn’t feel real. I love it, don't get me wrong. It's nothing like I thought it would be.. It's just not exactly where I saw myself, and yet it works so well. It doesn't help that she is so beautiful. It is hard to think that Anton and I created this. Created this beautiful life form that is going to grow up to take on the world. I can feel it. She is a strong one. Hopefully stronger than I ever was in the beginning. Maybe stronger than I am now.
She coos as I hold her against my body, and I am filled with this overwhelming fuzzy feeling, this love that I have for her. When I look down at her, I see me. A miniature version of myself even though she's only 7 months old. She has my delicate skin and a tuft of deep red hair on top of her head. My cheekbones, my everything, except for one thing. When she opens her eyes and looks at me I can’t help but smile into the depths of those eyes. They are Anton's eyes, dark and filled with mystery.
Anton enters the room, he watches me begin to feed our daughter. He seems to think I'm the most beautiful thing on the planet, especially now that I've had his child. I almost feel like a goddess sometimes the way he looks at me, the way he worships me. He even still worships my body even though it feels a little different to me.
“So, it seems that Clan Constantin is warmed up to you,” Anton brings up, and I make sure that Nina got settled and is doing well before I look up at him again to have this conversation. I didn’t think I would be a breastfeeding mother but after Anton showed me all these articles on how it is for bonding and for Nina’s health, I hopped on board. It feels entirely natural now, not weird at all.
“I think it has something to do with my last name, or at least my former last name. They probably think my father is going to make an appearance at some point, not that I would be surprised considering he likes to show up at the most inconvenient times and places,” I say with an eye roll.
“No, I don't think it's just that. I think you have this commanding presence that is close to the same as your father's without quite the amount of cruelty. It is mesmerizing.”
I shake my head at this man with a smile on my face. He always jumps at the chance to give me a compliment these days. I don't know if he's making up for what this child has done to my body or for all the times that he fucked up before we finally got this right. It’s not perfect, but it's better.
As Nina finishes feeding I pull my shirt back together and cradle her as I go over to the window. I look out and I'm so happy that I can see the Space Needle. We are in Seattle right now for the summer, because back in Miami it's the middle of tourist Season, and I was not wanting to be there at this time of year while getting used to being a mother.
We split our time now between the two cities, Seattle and Miami, because we have to keep our faces scene for the Clans. We are running two of them right now, after all.
My cell phone goes off and instinctively I know who it is. It is Bethany, probably wanting to tell me about the date she had last night. She's found yet another man, but in my opinion this one is a keeper. Not only is he good looking, but he is also responsible. He's a little mysterious because he is always quiet when I see him, I think that's okay for Beth. Beth is so loud, she is enough for both of them in that department. The thought of that makes me laugh, and I make sure not to say that to her when I look down at the text message.
“Is that from Bethany?” Anton asks as he comes closer, his hands sliding across my shoulder and giving me a chill.
“Yes, it actually is Bethany. She's telling me all about her date last night.” Anton nods, and I think it's a little sweet. They've developed a good friendship between the two of them. I think he's almost as protective of her as he is of me. It's a great thing considering Bethany is really my family. She's much more my family than my father Sergei is. I am pretty sure Anton knows that. “She says he was a total gentleman always opening doors and pulling out chairs for her, and she was getting a little bit suspicious of him doing that for that. I told her that that's ridiculous that she must have just finally found her good man. She deserves a good man. Maybe she'll get married and have a baby too and our babies can be best friends, wouldn't that be nice?” Oh, my fucking god, being a mama has turned me to mush. I want all these silly things. I have different dreams now, dreams that I have never wanted before. I still love my shop, but now I want things having to do with babies and marriage and all of that yuck stuff. But you know what, Anton told me something once, that many people believe that love makes you weak, but it actually makes you stronger. I think I believe that more than ever now. And maybe that's how Nina, the beautiful baby in my arms will grow up to be strong, because both of us love her more than anyone has ever loved either of us before.
Anton just laughs at me, so I change the subject. It’s like he knows what I am thinking, but it’s not so scary anymore and is actually warming to me. I go back to talking about Clan business particularly a piece of business that I myself am worrying about. “Can you tell me if there has been any luck and tracking down Willow?” The Clan leader has been hanging on by a thread for a long time now. In fact, we have almost lost him in the hospital a few times now. The Clan is very stressed, and they need a leader. Now that women can rule a Clan, Willow has the potential to inherit a great deal of things. She'll have a lot on her shoulders. I can see how someone might run from that especially if she's gotten word of any of this. But apparently, she's been running for a long time. I have quite the harsh father myself, so I can understand. But she needs to be found in order to maintain the structure of the Clans.
“Unfortunately, there have not been any developments at all. I still have my men out there like everyone else. I guess this one is just good at hiding. I promise that you will be the first one to know when I find out anything, okay?”
I nod and sigh feeling pretty bad for the girl. She is traumatized because her father's been searching this long for her, she wouldn't dare trust any of us. I wish I could find her and take her under my wing. But I have my own things to deal with here in like two Clans and a 7-month-old baby.
Anton keeps looking at me, and I can feel his eyes on me. It's starting to get kind of creepy even though I love the way he looks at me sometimes. So, I go back to the couch humming a little song to Nina, and I catch his eyes with mine. I want to know what in the world he's thinking right now. “What the hell are you looking at? Why do you keep looking at me like that?”
“Would you believe me if I said it was because you were so beautiful?” I laugh at that knowing he is up to something, though I'm not quite sure what. I shake my head at him and look back down at Nina. He looks at us again, looking down at Nina and then back up at me and he gets this goofy grin on his face, one that I don't get to see very often considering he's always so composed. “I want another one,” Anton says simply. It's kind of ironic considering the news that I have for him than I've been holding back on because I didn't know quite how he would feel about it. I guess I know the answer to that now though.
I start laughing, and he looks at me sideways. “Well that's good because I'm pregnant again by the way.” In an instant he is coming to sit with us and giving a kiss to both of our foreheads.
“Are you serious?” he asks with a sparkle in his eyes. Anton loves the idea of children and a big family. I could tell the moment he reacted the way he did about me being pregnant with Nina. I am glad that I got through all my hang ups and married this man.
“I don’t think it’s something I would joke about,” I tell him, f
eeling slightly amused. He kisses me all over my face and leans down to kiss my abdomen like he did the very first time.
“I don’t think I could be any happier than I am right now. You are amazing and beautiful, and I love you. I fucking love you, Natasha,” he says. I don’t think I will ever tire of hearing it.
“Well, I fucking love you too.”
Cherished
The Clans Book Three
Duncan
She was supposed to just be a job; a means to an end, but I can't help but be attracted to her...
Willow Kim Adame. I was assigned to protect her—“with any means necessary”—and, at first, it seemed like a simple enough job. But she tries to disobey me at ever step, seems outright intent on making not only my job but my life as difficult as possible.
And that’s not even the worst part…
I was never supposed to like her, and I certainly wasn’t supposed to fall for her.
But, here we are.
Willow
I never wanted anything to do with my father or his lifestyle, but he had other plans...
When I lost both my mother and my boyfriend, I saw no reason to stick around; I left England as soon as I could.
Running from that life, I put as much distance as I possibly could between myself and all of that. I built a life. It was a simple life, but—dammit!—it was my simple life!
Until the day it stopped being quite so simple…
Until the day the business space next door was rented out by a man who made my knees weak and my mind cloudy with desire.
Prologue
Duncan
6 months ago…
My eyes overlook the wet cobblestone streets below me. Each and every day I do this. I stand at the top of the third floor and look out onto the streets to those below us. Each person is a new face, ultimately posing a new threat. Not all of them do, but some…yes, some live to instill fear and attempt to take what isn’t theirs.
I have been here, in this magnificent London townhome, for the past six years. I do not own it. I simply live here, working for the man who holds all the power.
Kristof Adame is many things; the most pertinent being the leader of Clan Adame. He is the Romanian mob leader who oversees operations in the U.K. As of late, his health has been deteriorating more and more. He refuses to discuss his ailment with any of us, but we aren’t blind. We can all see that whatever this is, it is slowly killing him. And if I was a betting man, I’d say that he doesn’t have too much longer.
“Domn wants to see you,” I hear one of my close friends, James, call out from behind me. He’s informed me that Kristof is requesting my presence.
I continue to stand, overlooking the streets, watching as the passerbys continue to go about their daily lives. Sometimes I stand up here and wonder what exactly it is that they’re doing, where they are headed- the possibilities are endless.
“His need is an urgent one,” James tells me, sounding oh so serious.
There are times to take our jobs seriously, in fact, most days we do. However, I do not believe being summoned by Kristof is a life or death matter. It would be different if certain circumstances had arisen, but I know they did not. I would be the first to know. In a way, I am like Kristof’s right hand man. When he needs someone to do his bidding, he doesn’t send an inexperienced chump. He sends the man he knows will complete the task at hand, regardless of what he asks.
He sends me.
I make sure that my expression remains unreadable as I turn from the window and head down the two flights of stairs where I know Kristof will be waiting. These days, he is almost always in his study. Before he didn’t to work so much, and now, I wonder if he is constantly working because he knows that he has an expiration date.
“Duncan.” He says my name coolly, rasping. I can hear him struggling to maintain his strong tone.
“Domn.” I greet him, calling him Sir in his native tongue. I take a few steps further into the room, glancing around as I know to do. He hates it when our eyes are on him, when only a few short months ago he was running three miles every day at the park.
“I need you to do something for me.” Kristof coughs through his words, turning to look at me dead in the eyes. “This is not something I take lightly, and you should not either.”
I nod, knowing he is expecting a reaction out of me.
“You know I have one remaining daughter, yes?”
I nod again, only having heard a few rumors about Kristof’s remaining heiress. From what others have told me, Kristof had an affair with a pretty well-known singer. Their affair resulted in the birth of his daughter, a daughter that he had out of wedlock with a woman who was not Romanian. He had three other children, two sons and a daughter, who have all been killed in mob related activities. “What is it you need me to do?” I can expect many things from him, but what comes from his mouth is not what I expect at all.
“I need you to find Willow and protect her. It has been evident that there are those who are after my life. Considering the fact her brothers and sister have all been killed so recently makes me question her safety. I know she wants nothing to do with me, or this life. At this point, it isn’t up to her anymore. You need to find her and guard her like I expect of you. Duncan, you will stay alongside her as long as I tell you to. There is a time where I will need her brought back here…that will not be for a few months. I am not going to bother the King or Queen with my disease until it is necessary, so I ask you, do you understand?”
“I will protect her with my own life,” I say, hoping that he understands my seriousness.
This is no joking matter. Kristof could have sent one of his other men, I am the best, however, I know the men I have helped train. They are all good at their job. Kristof making the decision to send me instead of one of the others tells me that this is much more serious than I thought.
My assumptions are accurate. The old man is dying, and something tells me that he doesn’t just have me there to keep an eye over his little heiress. No, there is far much more to the story.
Chapter One
Duncan
“Are you going to sit at that monitor all day and keep watching?” His tone is salty as shit, and I’m at my limit. Harris may not think what we’re doing is important, but little does he know. There’s one person and one person only on my team who knows about Willow’s true identity, and that person is me. It’s classified information. Maybe privileged more than classified.
It’s been months since I’ve been in Melbourne, and tracking down Willow was one of the easiest things I’ve ever had to do in my career. Her social media trail is awful; I could ping her location just based on the scone she posted on Instagram. It tags her damn location whenever she posts. That’s the thing about the Internet, there is always an online footprint. Willow basically led me right to her front doorstep by leaving a breadcrumb trail.
Although, her father was very pleased when I told him how quickly I found her. She owns this little bakery in the middle of Melbourne. Lucky for me, the space next door was available for rent, and Kristof made arrangements for us to acquire it on short notice. He wanted us close. I’m doing everything that I can to make sure I’m so close that she can feel my breath on the back of her neck.
It’s been a few months, and I’ve somewhat developed a routine. She’s beginning to trust me, seeing that I’m one of her regular clientele. At first, she was leery. I can see in those chocolate brown eyes of hers that she’s not accepting of strangers. I can’t help but wonder why that is, but I heard things back in England. Some of the older employees remember when she was a teenager...I thought I’d heard it all, but I was wrong.
“It’s my job, isn’t it?” I snap back. I truly don’t give a fuck if I piss him off. He works for me, and the bastard knows it.
Harris gets up from his chair and approaches me, placing his palms on my desk. “Seems to me like your job is staring at that chink’s nice ass.”
I take a slow, deep brea
th before I pull my arm back, clenching my hand into a fist, and slam it straight into his jaw. Harris shoots his hand up against his cheek, and I hear his jaw crack as he moves his mouth. “What in the bloody hell!” he shouts, glaring at me.
“I will say this one time and one time only. You will never disrespect her. Do you understand?” This isn’t about Harris calling her a chink, which isn’t even right since she’s Korean and not Chinese. It’s about the lack of respect that he has for her. He doesn’t know who she is, and the moment he is made aware, he will lose his damn mind and feel like such an idiot. He’ll know that I might have told Kristof everything he’s ever said about his daughter, and he’ll wonder what punishment is headed in his direction. That is the punishment he’ll receive from me, wondering if I’ve told Kristof, constantly waiting for the metaphorical guillotine to come down and cut off his head.
You don’t fuck with mafia families, and most certainly not Kristof’s.
All of his children have been killed except Willow. She’s the only remaining descendant of his bloodline, and it’s her duty to carry on in the Clans. I very well may just be a hired hand, and an arrogant one at that, but I’m not stupid. I know how important this job is to him, how important she is to him. Kristof told me that his relationship with Willow is anything but normal. I just have an idea that he’s dramatically downplayed it. In the few months that I’ve known her she’s only ever spoken about her mother, and all that I know is that she died. Kristof gave me all the information I needed to know about his daughter before he sent me here, and in the packet was every aspect of Willow’s life in England. What it didn’t have was her life in Australia.
Anguish Page 26
