Mother by Design

by Susan Mallery

  “I’m going into meltdown,” she warned him, holding on to his forearms as the room spun dizzily.

  He laughed, stripped the covers out of the way and laid her on the bed. When his hands moved to his clothing, she sat up and silently insisted on helping. Her breath caught in her throat when she gazed at his masculine strength, fully unclad before her.

  She laid a hand on his thigh. The hair was thick and dark on his legs. She liked running her hand over it. When she touched him intimately, he, too, caught his breath, then he pushed her hand aside and stretched out beside her. Their legs meshed as naturally as vines wrapping around each other, forming one perfect whole.

  Leaning forward, she planted kisses over his chest. The hair tickled her nose, making her laugh. She pulled it with her lips.

  “You’ll pay for that,” he told her. He flicked her nipples playfully, then bent to her mouth.

  They kissed hungrily, like starving castaways stumbling upon a feast on some exotic shore. It was too much. It wasn’t enough. “I want…oh!” she said, feeling his shift in weight, then feeling his legs making a place for themselves between hers.

  She felt the smoothness of him against her and the moist readiness of her body where he rubbed seductively. It took only a smallest movement to deepen the embrace.

  “Not yet,” he whispered. “Not quite yet.”

  He stroked down her body, paying attention to her breasts, then her waist and the rounded curve of her abdomen before gliding lower until his touch made her writhe in ecstasy. “Eric,” she whispered, a demand.

  “Easy.” He moved against her, tantalizing her with the promise of fulfillment.

  As the hunger rose to unbearable pleasure, she cried out and bit lightly at his lips, his throat and chest, wanting more from him.

  “Yes, yes, yes,” she said as he thrust the tiniest bit.

  “Yes,” he echoed.

  When she wrapped her legs around his hips, he rose, positioned himself and thrust slowly, deeply until they were merged completely.

  She opened her eyes and gazed into his, caught by the emotions that spun like golden threads between them. She couldn’t define the feelings in her or in him. Stroking down his sides and onto his hips with her hands, she pressed upward with her hips, bringing them just a fraction deeper, more intimately connected.

  Still gazing into her eyes, he began to move smoothly and rhythmically. She caught her bottom lip between her teeth and closed her eyes as the flood of need became a roaring storm tide, ripping through her until she bucked and plunged wildly beneath him.

  Eric held her securely and sipped the passion from her lips, absorbed it from her body as tremors raced over her. She sobbed his name as the tempest rolled through her and caught her in its peak and held her there…

  “Yes,” he said in deepened tones, his own need now desperate and wild. “Yes.”

  The storm surge took them both and deposited them on a faraway beach. He never wanted to return. Reality could never be as good as this….

  Chapter 7

  The problem with tomorrow, Jenna thought when she woke on Thursday morning, was that it always came. And with it, all the troubles of the previous day.

  She lay still with her eyes closed and enjoyed the tactile sensation of a very masculine leg thrown over hers and an arm lying across her waist. Moving slowly, she rubbed up and down his leg, liking the sensation of warmth from his skin and the enticing brush of the short wiry hairs against the sole of her foot.

  The muscles of his arm flexed, then he turned his wrist and cupped her breast. She snuggled closer. Against her hip, she felt his erection surge to life. It added to the excitement building in her body. She stroked her hand over his shoulder and turned her head to nuzzle his collar bone.

  “Mmm,” she murmured, a demand in the sound.

  His lips moved over her throat, then down to her breast. The morning, she mused, was off to a perfect start.

  “Shower?” she suggested.

  He helped her up and they went into the master bath. It wasn’t until she adjusted the water, then stepped inside the large shower and turned to him that she became aware that his silence indicated more than early-morning lassitude.

  His eyes were on her abdomen, the pain and remorse in those dark depths plain for her to see.

  Following his gaze, she looked at her body, seeing it as he did—the thrust of her breasts, larger now than they used to be, and the nipples circled by a pink aureole that was darker than before the pregnancy. Her abdomen was a plump mound.

  “I look as if I’ve swallowed a soccer ball,” she said, laughing to dispel the tension she sensed in him.

  “You look beautiful,” he corrected, his voice hoarse and strained.

  Realizing the magic of the night was definitely behind them, she managed a smile. “Thank you, kind sir.”

  Standing under the spray, she let it wet her hair, her shoulders and back. She didn’t push him to join her, but instead closed her eyes and lifted her face to the stream.

  Hands touched her tummy and slid gently over the curve of the baby. She felt the child kick. Opening her eyes a slit, she observed Eric’s expression as he lingered at the spot where the baby tapped against his hand. He looked so unbearably sad, it made her ache, too. The heat of the moment had left his body, she saw.

  “Let’s hurry,” she said. “I’m hungry.”

  She showered quickly while he stayed carefully out of her way. When she stepped out, he moved into the stream and soaped up. She finished quickly, dressed and, pulling her damp hair into a ponytail, went down to the kitchen.

  When he came down, she had cereal and toast ready. They carried plates and cups to the little porch and ate outside.

  “It’s okay,” she told him when they’d finished eating and were sipping the coffee while watching the ducks on the tiny lake. “Last night wasn’t a commitment to anything.”

  His eyes met hers. Her ego was slightly bruised at the relief on his face. Ah, well, worse things had happened.

  “I don’t want to start something that has no place to go,” he said in his solemn manner.

  He tried to play fair. She appreciated that about him. “I understand.” She managed a wry smile. “Let’s chalk it up to moon madness and let it go at that. Perhaps we can still be friends?”

  He didn’t answer right away. When she glanced at him in question, she found him studying her intently, as if looking for flaws or hidden motives.

  “We can try. Truthfully, I’m not sure about that. Once sex has entered the picture, things tend to get…out of hand,” he ended, after an obvious struggle to find the right descriptive words.

  Huh. If he only knew how right he was. Her reaction was to leap into his arms and make him forget his scruples. She didn’t, of course. Like him, she had to play fair.

  “I think we can control our wild impulses.” Her heart rattled around her chest as if in protest. She had to laugh.

  “What’s funny?” he asked, looking both perplexed and annoyed about the whole thing.

  She couldn’t help it. She laughed harder. “Us,” she tried to explain. “One night of passion isn’t a lifetime commitment. Consider it a minor trauma, doctor. We’ll get through it the same as we do at the hospital.”

  He set the cup down and frowned at her.

  “What?” she said.

  “You.”

  She shot him a questioning glance.

  “It can’t be this simple. Women don’t take things in a simple fashion.” He looked at his watch. “I’m due at a meeting in thirty minutes.”

  “You’d better go home and change,” she told him. “Thanks for your help with the baby shower gifts.”

  “I think you’ve thanked me enough.”

  She tensed. Then she saw he was smiling, a tiny, wry smile, but a real one. “You’re teasing me,” she murmured. “The stern Dr. Thompson knows how to joke. Wait till I tell the other nurses,” she said in exaggerated wonder.

  “Make sure that’s a
ll you tell them,” he ordered sardonically, still smiling.

  With a wave, he headed down the sidewalk to his SUV, parked in a guest parking slot.

  On the hiking path, two of her neighbors walked briskly and chatted. Jenna saw them pause as they spotted Eric on the walk, then her on the porch. Other than him, no one had spent the night at her place since she’d moved here over two years ago. His appearance obviously surprised them.

  Join the club, she thought wryly. It had surprised her most of all.

  Eric used the electric razor, then changed to a fresh shirt and suit. He was aware of his body in a new way. There was a bounce to his step when he returned to his vehicle for the drive to the hospital meeting of department heads.

  He’d slept better last night than any other night he could recall in recent history. In two years, he admitted.

  The smile left his face. Jenna had made it easy for them to return to friendship…or to a strictly professional relationship, if necessary. Was it merely her training or perhaps the years they’d worked together?

  Pulling into his usual parking space at the hospital, he counted up the time. It must have been seven or eight years ago that she’d completed advanced training in trauma and moved to E.R. He’d noticed her skill on the first case they’d worked on together as a team. As time passed, he’d come to depend on her calm manner and smooth functioning.

  She was like a second pair of hands connected to his brain, he thought. Last night had been similar, except he’d been the one who’d known instinctively what she’d wanted from him during their passionate lovemaking.

  He waited for the guilt to hit him in a hot tide of remorse. It did, but to his surprise, it wasn’t nearly as strong as he’d thought it would be. Odd, that.

  Overlaying the regret for the past was a new set of emotions, far more complex than he could define at present. Balancing the heaviness of spirit was a lightness he hadn’t felt for…mmm, years. Hunger pinged through him as he recalled the night. A pleasant sensation rolled over him.

  Going into the hospital, he smoothed his hair, tousled by an impish breeze, and assumed the role he was accustomed to and comfortable with—that of the physician.

  Do no harm.

  That was the creed he tried to live by. Jenna was doubly vulnerable at the moment although she didn’t seem to realize it. First from the pregnancy, then from the accident.

  He hoped he hadn’t hurt the relationship between him and his favorite trauma team aide by answering the passion that had sprang into being like a phoenix rising from the ashes. He would never forgive himself if he had.

  Shortly before ten that night, Jenna finished bandaging the knife wound that she had cleaned and sutured while Eric observed the patient’s vital signs.

  “He’s stable,” the doctor said. “Let’s keep him overnight and let his doctor look him over in the morning.”

  Following him into the supply room, she stripped gloves, mask and gown and tossed them in the proper bins while he did the same. “I’ll write it up.”

  A hand caught her wrist. She glanced at Eric in surprise. Electric tingles rushed up her arm. No surprise there. She’d reacted to the slightest brush of his arm against hers the entire shift.

  It had taken stern discipline to ignore the feeling when she’d first arrived at one that afternoon. Several emergencies had taken all her attention as day slid into evening, so things had become easier. However, since she wasn’t comatose, she had still been acutely aware of him.

  Slipping back into friendship wasn’t as easy as she’d made it sound that morning. She almost groaned aloud as hunger thundered throughout her body, a reminder that she hadn’t nearly had enough—

  “You’re going home,” Eric continued, breaking into her thoughts which were becoming more wanton by the second. “You missed dinner and your rest breaks, too. I’ll handle the paperwork.”

  “You’ve been here since this morning,” she protested.

  A half smile curved his mouth. “Are we going to fight about it?”

  Meeting his gaze, heat flushed through her so strongly it caused perspiration to bloom over her face and neck, right down to the tingling points of her breasts.

  He glanced down at the beaded tips visible under her E.R. uniform, then back to her eyes. His eyes darkened. With a low curse, he turned away and strode out of the room.

  Jenna inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, letting the need dissipate. Eric needed more than passion. He needed a friend, or at least a confidante, with no strings attached.

  Yawning, she gathered her belongings, made sure the third shift was fully staffed, then headed for her car.

  “Wait up,” a masculine voice ordered.

  She couldn’t help the smile that sprang to her lips. “Saving my life doesn’t mean you have to be responsible for me the rest of my life,” she told Eric.

  “Maybe not, but as your supervisor, I am concerned that my best nurse get home safe and sound.”

  He made sure she was locked inside her car before stepping back and letting her go on her way. She saw him standing in the same place as she stopped before pulling onto the street, his eyes on her car as she departed.

  The phone was ringing when she arrived home. “Jenna, what’s going on?” Rachel demanded.

  “What do you mean?” she replied cautiously.

  “Well, Dr. Thompson’s car was seen at your place last night. And this morning.”

  Jenna sighed. “He brought the baby shower things over for me.” There, that was the truth, but it didn’t give anything away.

  “It took all night to carry the stuff in?” Rachel’s soft laughter followed on the heels of the question. “Lily and I will meet you for lunch tomorrow. Eleven-thirty at the deli across from the hospital. Okay?”

  “No!” Jenna realized she’d spoken too quickly, too sharply when silence ensued. “That is, I, uh, will be busy in the morning. Errands and things, you know.”

  “You still have to eat,” Rachel said firmly. She laughed. “Besides, I smell romance in the air. Bryce agrees. Lily and I want to know all about it.”

  “Rachel,” Jenna began, then fell silent, not sure how to word her doubts.

  “Yes?”

  “How did you know it was love when you met Bryce?”

  “So, it’s like that,” Rachel said, immediately jumping to conclusions. “I’m so thrilled for you.”

  “No, no,” Jenna denied the assumption. “Eric and I are just friends. He isn’t over his wife yet. I think a person needs to talk about the past in order to put things into perspective, don’t you?”

  Rachel’s relieved sigh came over the phone. “You’re asking my opinion,” she said happily. “That means you’ve truly forgiven me for the episode with Michael—”

  “There was nothing to forgive,” Jenna interrupted. “He was the one at fault, not you.”

  “Yes, but Lily and I put you in the middle of our problem. That wasn’t fair, but neither of us was seeing very clearly at the time. Now that our love lives are straightened out, we want to help with yours.”

  Her laughter was warm and affectionate, reminding Jenna of their long friendship and shared experiences. “I have no love life,” she lamented, making an effort at keeping her tone amused.

  “I think you could change that,” Rachel told her. “From what I know about him, Eric is a very responsible person. He wouldn’t run out on someone who needed him.”

  “I think you’re right,” Jenna said. “However, a liability isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”

  “You’re thinking more along the lines of the love of his life?”

  “Well,” Jenna joked in her usual lighthearted manner when things were getting too serious, “the love of the moment was more what I envisioned.”

  “Don’t be afraid to fall in love,” Rachel advised seriously. “It’s the most wonderful feeling.”

  Laughing, Jenna said good-night and prepared for bed. The smile disappeared as she thought of Eric and her strange relationshi
p with him. It would be easy to fall in love with him, but not with the specter of his first marriage hanging over them. She would try to help him with that. Then they would see what happened next.

  In bed with the light out, she couldn’t stop her thoughts from returning to the previous night and the bliss she’d experienced in his arms. He’d been the most wonderful lover she’d ever met, but was he meant for her?

  Not unless he was over the tragedy of his past, some wise part of her advised.

  Chapter 8

  “Can you believe this?” Lily asked, gesturing toward the other two, then at herself.

  “Believe what?” Rachel asked, taking a seat at the table with her friends.

  Lily shook her head reflectively. “Last year we were all so unhappy…well, I was. And Rachel. Jenna was okay until we pulled her into our troubles.”

  “Mr. Louse,” Jenna murmured, recalling the two-timer who had almost destroyed their friendship.

  “Yeah,” Lily and Rachel said together, then glanced at each other and burst into laughter.

  Love, Jenna thought. Her friends were so much in love, they glowed. Their newly found happiness had erased the last bit of hurt and anger between them.

  Envy sliced through her. The three had done everything together nearly all their lives. Why couldn’t she find the ideal man as her friends had?

  Images flooded her inner vision—Eric helping her after the accident, Eric bringing lunch, Eric touching her in the most gentle, intimate of caresses…

  “Look at her,” Rachel, the most introspective of them, said softly.

  Jenna realized her friends were observing her and tried to look nonchalant. “What?” she demanded.

  “Your eyes,” Rachel continued, “are those of a woman in love. You’ve really fallen for Dr. Thompson.”

  “Eric,” Jenna said automatically, then felt heat sweep over her as Lily and Rachel grinned.

  A tiny sound, like that of a very new kitten, caught their attention. Lily leaned over the baby carriage where her daughter had been sleeping. With the skill gained in her career as a pediatrics nurse, she scooped the precious bundle into her arms.