“Tell me.”
She swallowed the sob rising up within her. “My girls are five years old today. I want to make the day as special for Hannah as possible, but I can’t stop thinking about Hailey. No one will know it’s her birthday. No one will make it special for her.” A sob escaped. “Oh God, I don’t even know if she’s alive.”
His hands warm on her skin, Cole pulled her around to face him. The compassion in his expression was her undoing. With a small sob, she leaned forward and Cole’s arms locked around her, warm and comforting.
“She’s alive. You have to believe that. I do.”
Breath shuddering through her, she looked up through tear-filled eyes. “Why do you believe it?”
“Other than I feel it in my bones?”
“Yes.”
“Because it makes no sense that she’s not alive. The man who took them sold Hannah. There’s no reason to believe he wouldn’t do the same thing with Hailey.”
“If he wanted money, why didn’t he ask for ransom?”
“Because money’s not his primary motivation, Keeley. We’ve known that almost from the start.”
“But why? What could I have done that was so awful? How could someone hate me that much? Why couldn’t they just hurt me … why hurt my children, too?”
“I don’t know. But we’ll find out and we will find your daughter. Don’t give up hope.”
Taking long, controlled breaths, she finally felt a small measure of control … thanks to this man who had come to mean so much to her. “I don’t know what I would have done without you.”
“You’re a strong woman. You would have survived, no matter what.”
Risking rejection once again, Keeley rose up to kiss him. It was brief and meant as an act of appreciation. The moment her lips touched his, that changed.
He grasped her shoulders. To pull her to him or push her away? She didn’t know, didn’t care. Making the decision for him, she wrapped her arms around him and pressed her entire body against his.
With a deep growl that went through his body and vibrated against hers, he pulled her closer and returned the kiss. As his mouth moved over her, his hands moved from her shoulders to her bottom and pressed her lower body against him. Feeling the hard desire, Keeley gasped. Cole took advantage and swept his tongue inside.
Standing on her toes, Keeley fitted herself against him. As if he knew what she needed, he fit his erection at the top of her sex, exactly where she was aching for him the most. Rubbing and pressing, she felt hot, scorching need erupt within her. Without conscious thought, she began a slow, sensuous ride against the rigid length of his penis; little gasps, muffled by his mouth, echoed in the room. A pulse-pounding intensity swept through her as her entire body tensed; she wound tighter and tighter.
Cole lifted his mouth to whisper, “That’s it, sweetheart. Let go.”
That whispering growl pushed her to the very edge. She was so into the moment, she barely comprehended that Cole had picked her up. Her legs naturally wrapped around his waist as if they belonged there. He held her back against the wall as she rode harder … harder. The gasps rasping from her lungs grew louder. A wild, uncontrollable urgency tightened everything inside her. On the precipice of sheer ecstasy, it slammed through her. With a keening cry, Keeley exploded.
Slowly, as if reluctant to let her go, Cole lowered her feet to the floor. She peeked up at him. He’d just given her yet another amazing orgasm, but he was still aroused, unfulfilled. Self-denial once again etched his face. And as before, she refused to be the only one to receive pleasure. Cupping him gently through his clothes, she glided her hand down his length with a slow, firm stroke.
He grabbed her wrist. “No. We can’t.”
The erection throbbing against her hand was something he couldn’t deny; he wanted her. “Why not?”
“Because I—”
“Sorry to interrupt,” a deep voice said.
Keeley peeked around Cole’s broad shoulder and saw Jordan standing in the doorway. Though he looked somewhat uncomfortable, his face held grim determination.
Without turning, Cole said, “What’s up?”
“Need to talk to you … can you come downstairs for a few minutes?”
“Yeah, be right down.”
Cole waited till Jordan left the room and then breath shuddered through him as he took several steps away from her. “I’m sorry, Keeley. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Why not?”
“Because, I just can’t … it won’t happen again.” He stalked out of the room.
Keeley stared at the doorway Cole had disappeared through. What had that been about? Why couldn’t it happen again? Was it because of the case, or something more? All those insecurities she did her best to ignore came back full force. Was there something about her that Cole didn’t find appealing after all? Had he just been trying to comfort her and she was the one who’d turned it into something else once again? His arousal had been obvious, but when a woman threw herself at a man, was that just a normal response? Was she falling in love with a man who really didn’t want her at all?
Needing some recovery time before he went downstairs, Cole stomped to his room, leaned against the closed door, and cursed silently for a full minute. What the hell had he done? And how the hell was he going to get out of it? He couldn’t deny he wanted her … she’d held that desire in her hand. Cole shuddered at the memory of how she had stroked him.
He’d been on the verge of giving in, allowing those desires free rein. And if Jordan hadn’t interrupted them, he would have. He would have let her continue stroking and it would have led to another amazing sexual experience. Something he’d told himself he couldn’t allow again.
Knowing Eden and Jordan were waiting for him, he gritted his teeth and headed downstairs. He’d face what he’d done later.
Stopping at the door of the living room, he wasn’t surprised to see Jordan and Eden in an embrace. They were an affectionate, demonstrative couple. When he heard a soft sob, he froze. “What’s wrong?”
Eden pulled her head from Jordan’s shoulder. The tears in her eyes were like a gut punch he felt all the way to his soul. They’d found Hailey. She was dead.
“Is it Hailey?”
“No.”
The relief he felt at that one word was almost more than he could handle. Having to tell Keeley her daughter was dead would have been his worst nightmare come true.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“It’s Paulo.” Eden swallowed. “He’s sick … in the hospital. We need to go to him.”
Keeley appeared beside him and said, “Of course you do.”
Still disturbed by what had just happened with her, Cole forced himself to focus. “Anything I can do?”
Jordan jerked his head in a nod, indicating he wanted to talk privately. While Keeley went to Eden and hugged her, Cole and Jordan retreated to a corner of the room.
“You okay?” Jordan asked.
“Hell no.”
“You going to be able to do this?”
“You mean, am I going to be able to keep my hands off our client? Yeah, I’ll make damn sure I am.”
“That wasn’t exactly what I was asking. But I trust you to know what’s best.”
Cole swallowed a snort. Good thing Jordan trusted him, because he sure as hell didn’t trust himself. He glanced over at Keeley, who was talking in a low voice with Eden. Keep his hands off her? Yes, he would do that. But how to tell Keeley without hurting her? He didn’t have an answer for that one.
Keeley’s determination that Hannah’s birthday be one of joy was a success. Miranda arrived with Maggie, who carried in a giant stuffed giraffe. Jenna brought a doll and a half-dozen books. Eden and Jordan had given her a dozen or more DVDs of children’s movies. And Cole surprised everyone, including Keeley, when he disappeared in the midst of the party and returned a few minutes later, pushing a small pink bicycle into the room. Hannah had squealed with glee, causing everyone to laugh.
/>
Hannah had only mentioned Hailey once. Before she blew out her candles on her cake, she expressed her wish out loud: “I wish Hailey would come home.”
Tears sprang to her eyes before Keeley could stop them. She swallowed a sob, tried to speak and found she couldn’t. Cole had been the one to press a kiss to the top of Hannah’s head and say, “That’s a good wish, Hannah, and one we’ll make come true.”
Still unable to speak, Keeley smiled her appreciation at Cole.
Eden and Jordan left early the next day. Despite Eden’s worry for her son, Keeley could tell that she felt guilty for leaving. She’d assured her that she would be fine. And she would be. With Cole here, somehow she still felt that optimism that Hailey was alive and they would find her.
Out of necessity, Cole, Eden, and Jordan had met with Honor to update her.
It no longer hurt as much that Honor had been relocated to Greenville. She didn’t resent it because she knew there were other cases just as important to them.
She did wonder if LCR would begin to feel the same way, though. Yes, she was their client and paying them well, but they were used to action. Used to getting things done and going on to another job. Nothing had happened with this case. Finding Hannah had been a miracle, but the longer Hailey was gone and there were no real clues, the less their chances of finding her.
She knew Cole didn’t feel that way, but how long would that last? He wouldn’t stay here forever. And she would never stop looking. He’d said he wouldn’t leave until they found her, but she was realistic enough to know that he couldn’t stay here indefinitely, no matter how much she wanted him to.
“Want to go to the park?”
Keeley jerked at the suddenness of Cole’s voice. She pulled her gaze away from the website she’d been staring sightlessly at for several minutes. She’d zoned out again and hadn’t even known he was in the house.
“What?”
“It’s a beautiful day outside. Let’s take Hannah and go for a picnic in the park.”
Her stomach twisted. How could he ask her to go to the place where this nightmare had begun?
“Don’t look like that, Keeley. I know what I’m asking, but you’ve never gone back since it happened. I want you to see if you might remember something. Even as young as Hannah is, she might remember something, too.”
“No, it would upset her too much.”
“She’ll be fine. If she looks the least bit upset, we’ll bring her home.”
“But the psychologist said she didn’t appear to remember anything.”
“And she could be right, but let’s try it and see what happens.”
Keeley stood. He was right. Nothing would get accomplished if they didn’t have the courage to do everything they could.
“I’ll go get her dressed.” She stopped at the door, took a deep breath for courage, and said, “You know, we need to talk about what happened.”
“No we don’t.”
“Why?”
“Because it can’t happen again, Keeley. I’m responsible, I know. I got carried away again. But I can’t have a relationship with you. And you’re not the type of person to have sex with someone and just forget about it.”
“You mean the way you did with Honor.”
There was both guilt and embarrassment in his expression. “You know about that?”
She shrugged. “I didn’t mean to. I overheard you apologizing to her. You didn’t even remember being with her.”
His mouth flattened into a grim line. “It was a long time ago.”
“Do you sleep with so many women that you can’t remember them?”
His face shut down … he didn’t intend to say anything else. He would neither deny her accusation nor defend himself. It was none of her business; she knew that. If Cole wanted to sleep with an entire fleet of women, it shouldn’t be her concern. But if he did sleep with so many women he couldn’t remember sleeping with a beautiful woman like Honor, then why wouldn’t he sleep with her?
In a year or two, would he have forgotten that one night with her? No, she refused to believe that … it had been too incredible … too special. But had it been that special to him?
Keeley had worked hard at overcoming the insecurities Stephen’s betrayal had caused her. It hadn’t been easy. She knew she wasn’t unattractive, but there were certain things she didn’t like about herself. Things Stephen had sometimes made a point of mentioning.
“Keeley, I don’t want to hurt you.”
She suddenly realized she’d been standing in the middle of the room staring at him. Cole had probably read every expression on her face as an indictment against him. She held no rancor toward him. How could she? He’d done nothing but try to find her children, defend her against Elizabeth’s spitefulness, offer his body to her as solace, and give her hope. Just because he didn’t want a repeat performance wasn’t something she could hold against him. If she couldn’t even keep her husband’s interest, how on earth could she expect to attract someone like Cole?
“Thank you for being honest with me.”
As she turned away, she couldn’t help but wonder why he flinched.
eighteen
“Mommy, higher … push me higher!”
Despite his bleak feelings from their earlier talk, Cole couldn’t help but smile as mother and daughter figuratively butted heads. Hannah wanted to swing higher; her overprotective mother was giving her only the lightest of pushes.
He’d hoped coming here would trigger some kind of memory for Keeley or Hannah. Though Keeley had a haunted look in her eyes the first half hour, Hannah had acted as if nothing bad had happened here. The resilience of children always amazed him.
He wanted to give both of them a little time to get more comfortable before he started his questions. If they were relaxed, perhaps they might remember something.
Admittedly it was a long shot, but he was running out of options. Hailey had been gone almost three months. The press had gone, with only a weekly call from a few of the major television stations to ask for updates.
The FBI was still on the case, but Honor was their only local agent. And even she was working on other cases and was basically waiting for something to break on this one.
Cole was convinced nothing would break unless they forced it. Hailey wasn’t coming home on her own. Her picture had been flashed on every television station from here to Australia. People all around the world knew about her case, and not a damn one of them had given them a clue they could use.
Even their sadistic emailer seemed to have lost interest. It had been almost a week since Keeley had received a cruel reminder of her loss. Was this a final indication that everyone assumed Hailey would never be found? He refused to allow that to happen. He would never give up and neither would Keeley.
“How about we stop for a few minutes and talk?”
Hannah looked disappointed, but Keeley looked scared. Cole hardened his heart.
Keeley pulled Hannah from the swing and headed toward Cole. He spread a blanket on the ground under a giant oak. Opening the picnic basket Keeley had packed, he pulled two bottles of water out and handed one to Hannah and one to Keeley.
They both took a sip and then he asked, “Tell me about that day, Keeley.”
Keeley swallowed the water, took a breath, and said, “It was sunny … not as sunny as today. And warm. One of those early spring days that makes you realize winter is completely over.”
“What time did you get to the park?”
Her brow wrinkled in concentration. “Not as early as we’d planned. Jenna was supposed to meet us here. She was bringing lemonade and cookies. When she called and told me she couldn’t come, I took some extra time and baked cookies from some frozen dough I had in the freezer.”
“Where was Jenna?”
“Mr. and Mrs. Pointer had died in an accident the day before. Jenna had to meet with the family to make arrangements for a double funeral.”
“And Miranda and Maggie. Weren’t they supp
osed to come, too?”
“Yes … but I knew the night before that they wouldn’t be coming with us. Maggie was running a fever.”
“Okay, so what time did you get here?”
“About ten-thirty, I think.”
“Was anyone here when you arrived?”
“There were a few people. Not as many as I expected, considering the weather. Hailey and Hannah had the playground to themselves.”
“And you saw no strange men lurking about? Men you’d never seen before?”
“No. The few people I did see were people I’m acquainted with.”
“How long were you here before it happened?”
“Not long. Maybe about forty minutes or so.”
“Show me where you were and where Hannah and Hailey were.”
She stood and walked over to the monkey bars. “I was standing between the girls. Hailey was playing on the bars. I heard her giggle and turned to see her trying to climb higher. She’s such an adventurous rascal. I pulled her down and told her not to do that anymore. She just grinned at me.” She closed her eyes as if the memory was painful.
“Then what?”
Opening her eyes, she concentrated on what Cole knew was the most horrific moment of her life. “Hannah asked for some juice.” She walked a few steps to a bench. “I pulled a juice box out of the bag. She took it and went toward her sister. I knew Hailey would want some, too, so I was getting out another one when I heard the screams.”
Cole stiffened his resolve and looked at Keeley’s daughter. “Hannah, do you remember that day when the bad man took you?”
He ignored Keeley’s gasp and concentrated on the little girl, who seemed to be totally absorbed with her water. He said again, “Hannah, do you remember?”
“He gave us cookies and juice.”
Keeley jerked. Hannah had never mentioned that before.
“Was it good?” Cole asked.
She scrunched her nose up and shook her head emphatically.
“What else do you remember?”
“We got sleepy.”
They’d pretty much determined that both girls had been drugged, most likely to keep them quiet until they could be gotten rid of.
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