“About as much pleasure as I got tossing the lasagna,” Mike said.
“What should we do?” Tyler asked fretfully.
“I have no clue. What do other people do when their families fall apart?” Cala asked.
“I can hear you,” Kristine said. “Come in here and sit down. I want to tell you something, and for heaven’s sake, take off those jackets and ties. Cala, pour the eggnog. Did you put anything in it?”
“I followed your recipe, Mom.”
“Good, we’re all going to need something. I want you to know I do not approve of children drinking, but this is Christmas Eve and an exception. I might be just a little bit ...”
“Sloshed,” Mike said.
“Sloshed is a good word,” Kristine said, enunciating each word carefully. “I want to tell you what Mr. Dunwoodie at the bank told me. Among the four of us we might be able to figure it out.” She accepted the cup of eggnog Cala handed her.
“Spit it out, Mom,” Mike said gently.
Kristine told them about the money and the banker’s implied words.
The children stared at her with stunned expressions. “You should have told us, Mom,” Tyler said.
“I didn’t want you to worry. I knew you all had your own adjustments to make with this last move. None of you were exactly warm and friendly at the time. Besides, I was worrying enough for all of us. Now, tell me, do you remember when was the last time you saw those two brown, accordion-pleated envelopes we kept our bank records in? The one with your birth certificates, insurance policies, and stuff like that.”
“Years,” Cala said.
“Back in the summer. I saw Dad working in his office. He had piles of stuff everywhere,” Mike said. “Eight million dollars, and it’s gone!”
“A long time ago, more than a year,” Tyler said. “That’s a lot of money.”
“I don’t know if it’s gone or not. The only thing I really remember was how elated your father was when he locked the money into a certificate of deposit for five years that was paying twenty-four and a half percent interest. That’s how the account became so robust. It didn’t get here the way your father said it was supposed to. I need the three of you to go into the storage room and look through the boxes that were not unpacked. I did look through them, but I was far too jittery. It’s possible I missed them.”
“Why would you ship personal stuff like that? I would have thought you would have packed it in your suitcases. Did Dad say anything about bringing it?”
“No; he said he was packing it with his office things. I thought he did. It’s just records. He thought it was safe to send them. The boxes were sealed and stamped.”
“What you’re saying is we’re broke unless we can find the records. What good are the records if the money isn’t there? Is that it?” Mike said, an angry, bitter look on his face.
“That’s what I’m saying. I had to get an advance on next month’s check. My own personal checking funds didn’t get here either. I had a little over eight thousand dollars in that account.”
“What exactly does power of attorney mean?” Cala asked.
“It means Mom turned over her inheritance to Dad and let him handle it any damn way he saw fit. Eight million smackeroos, and it’s gone just the way he’s gone. Does anyone around here need a blueprint?” Mike demanded.
“You have to stop saying things like that, Mike. You don’t know any more than I know about what happened to your father. We have to give him the benefit of the doubt. He could be hurt or injured somewhere. He could have amnesia. You’re implying the same thing Mr. Dunwoodie implied, that your father deserted us and absconded with the money.”
“My theory makes sense. Your theory doesn’t, Mom. Besides, none of us could understand why we came here first and Dad was to follow. Most families travel together. You should have stood up to him, Mom.”
“That’s not fair, Mike,” Kris said. “There was a lot to do to get this house ready. It’s going to be an ongoing project. Your father’s time wasn’t up. It was a bad time for him, being passed over and having to leave the military. He truly believed he could go all the way and make general. He always said he was a thirty-year man, not a twenty-year man. He didn’t want us to see how traumatic it was for him. I understood. I thought you did, too.”
“See, Mom, you’re sticking up for him again. To a point I can understand it. This is the result. Other families, and we’ve all seen hundreds of them, stick together and tough it out. We were prepared to do that until he chopped us off at the knees. This is not by the book, by the way.”
“Boy, what I could do with eight million dollars,” Cala said.
“South Sea islands, here I come,” Tyler said dreamily.
Exasperated, Kristine said, “Is that all you’re thinking about, the money? Don’t you care about your father?”
“From where I’m sitting it doesn’t look like Dad cares much about me, Mike, or Tyler, so to answer your question, no, Mom, I do not care at this particular moment. I saw this coming; so did Mike and Tyler. I guess the big question is, why didn’t you see it?”
“See what? You’re making your father out to be some sort of ... I don’t know, a horrible person. Why is it so hard to believe something terrible happened to him? It’s an ugly world out there. We were sheltered, protected, while under the umbrella of the military. Your father did not desert us, and he did not steal my money. Excuse me, our money. Why are you saying all these ugly things now?”
“We never had the chance to say them before. We thought about it every day of our lives, and I think I’m speaking for Cala and Tyler when I say this. Dad was never shy about whipping our asses when we said something out of line or did something wrong. You never took our side, so why all the interest now? We were the good little soldiers. It was always ‘yes, sir, no, sir, yes, sir, whip my ass, sir’ for looking at you crossways. We were never allowed to go anywhere or do anything. He picked our friends, told us what to eat and when to eat it. We had to do calisthenics by the hour, we needed to be tough so we would grow into good big soldiers. We hated it, but we did it because we didn’t have any other choice. It was how we survived. You had eight million dollars, and you wouldn’t let Cala and me go on the class trip to France because Dad said it was too expensive. We were the only two who didn’t go. We even said we’d pay him back. I didn’t see you intervening. We did not have a good life, Mom, so stop deluding yourself,” Mike said. The bitterness in his voice wafted across the room.
“Tyler, Cala?” Kristine said tearfully. “Do you two feel the same way?”
“Mom, where were you all those years we were growing up and moving around? You’re our mother; you were supposed to see all those things. Good little soldiers that we were, we were not allowed to whine or cry. Stiff upper lip and all that stuff, and then, of course, there was that stupid book you and Dad went by. In case you haven’t noticed, this is our rebellion stage. I can’t wait to leave for college. I suppose we won’t be able to go now. Is that the next thing you’re going to tell us? Guess what, I’m going, and so is Mike, even if we have to work our way through. Aw, Mom, don’t cry. Look, we’re going to go to the storage room and look for those folders. Three sets of eyes are better than one.”
“In cases like this you always follow the money trail. I saw that in a movie once. It makes sense,” Mike said soberly.
“Merry Christmas to all of us,” Tyler blurted. “Trust Dad to pick a holiday to screw things up. This is one of those things we’ll remember all our lives.”
“You need to stop this kind of talk right now. Your father is a good, kind man. A stern man. There have to be rules; otherwise, things ... what happens is ... things go ... awry. I admit that at times your father got ... carried away, but he meant well. He wanted the three of you to grow up independent with a strong sense of ... of ... the way life really is outside the military. In civilian life no one seems to care. In the military we took care of our own. You know that.”
Mike dropped
to his knees and reached for his mother’s hands. Cala and Tyler did the same thing. “Mom, Dad was a tyrant. He abused his parental authority. He was not kind; nor was he good. And he was never gentle. He wasn’t stern, either. He was hateful. If I had to find a word that suited him, I’d choose dictator. He was none of those things you said he was. He wasn’t even a good husband to you. He was the talk of every base we ever lived on. He came on to every woman that even looked at him. If we knew that, why didn’t you?”
Kristine blinked at her son’s ugly words. She felt like she’d been slapped across the face with an ice-cold rag. “I refuse to listen to any more of this kind of talk. I’m going to bed. We’ll have to open our presents in the morning, or you can open yours now. I don’t care one way or the other.”
Kristine turned once on the stairway to look back at her children, who were huddled together at the foot of her chair, crying. She knew she should go back to comfort them, but if she did that, it would be admitting she was giving credence to everything they had said.
Her legs felt like they had fifty-pound weights tied to them as she climbed the steps. She felt woozy from all the wine she’d consumed. Tomorrow was another day. Tomorrow she would think about everything that had been said during the past hour. Tomorrow she would think about the chocolate cake and the tray of lasagna. Tomorrow she would think about and read the last letter Logan had sent to see if there were hidden messages she might have missed.
Tomorrow.
“You’re sure you’ll be all right here alone?” Kristine asked.
“Mom, we aren’t babies. We know how to cook, we know how to carry in wood and make a fire. We’ll look out for each other. We’ll take down the tree and pack up everything and, yes, we’ll be careful of your grandma’s ornaments. We’ll unpack all the stuff in the storage room, too.”
“We’ll shovel the driveway if it snows. Don’t worry about us, Mom. We have tons of college catalogs to go through and phone calls to make. Just go and do whatever you have to do. Your taxi is waiting. Don’t worry about the car. We aren’t planning on going anywhere, but it will be nice to know it’s there if we need it.”
“I hate leaving you. I left money in the kitchen in case you want to go to town to a movie or get a pizza. I should be back in a week. As much as I don’t want to do this, I have to. I need to know. I don’t want you worrying about me. I’ll call every day.”
“You better not call. Overseas calls are expensive. When you get there, ring once and hang up so we know you’re okay,” Mike said.
“Mom, the driver is honking his horn. Go already.”
“I’m going. You take ... I’m going.”
The three children rushed to the window in time to see their mother close the taxi door. They waved.
“I feel like crying,” Cala said.
“For Mom or him?” Mike snapped.
“For me. For you and Tyler. Our lives are changing. We said we wanted change, but I don’t think any of us meant this kind of change. Where do you think he is?”
“Some place nice and warm with some bimbo half his age spending our mother’s money.”
“How long do you think he was planning this?” Tyler asked with a catch in his voice.
“I’m certainly no authority on stuff like this, but if I had to take a guess, I’d say for some time. I think the first clue was last summer when he kept going away for weekends. He never did tell any of us why. Mom said it was secret business, but even I don’t think she believed that. Mom just took his word for everything and believed everything he said. I bet he started planning this two years ago, when he had that kidney operation.”
“Are you saying our father, Colonel Logan Kelly, had a mid-life crisis?” Cala asked in awe.
“Yep. That’s what I’m saying,” Mike said. “Listen. I have an idea. Let’s drag our mattresses down here and sleep in the living room. If we do that, we won’t have to lug firewood upstairs every day. We can all use the bathroom down here because it’s the warmest one in the house. We can eat junk food until it comes out of our ears. We won’t do dishes for the whole week until we know for sure when Mom is coming home. No beds to make, either. We can live like slobs for a whole week. What do you say?”
“I say that’s the best idea you ever had,” Cala said.
“I made up my mind to go to Georgia Tech,” Mike said.
“Great school. I might consider it myself. I haven’t crossed off Tulane or Georgetown, though,” Cala said.
“He’s never coming back, is he?” Tyler asked, a sob building in his throat.
“In my opinion, no, Ty,” Mike said.
“I agree with Mike, Tyler. He’s got eight million dollars; why does he need us? He always liked you the best if you need consolation. Mike and I are okay with that.”
“Nah. You don’t know the half of it. He was harder on me than you because, as he put it, I was just like him. I’m not like him, am I?”
“No way,” Mike said.
“Absolutely not,” Cala said.
“Let’s go get those mattresses,” Tyler said, knuckling his eyes.
“We need to look into student loans, aid, and all that stuff. Come August, one way or another, I’m outta here,” Mike said.
“What about Mom? If Dad doesn’t come back, she’ll be alone,” Cala said.
“Look, let’s all understand something right now. I love Mom, so do you. She’s all grown-up. Maybe this will give her some incentive to take some courses or better yet, get the degree she’s always talked about. If she starts up the business again, she doesn’t need a college degree. It’s her decision to make, not ours. She’s not old. I’m sorry to say I am not feeling too charitable where Mom is concerned. When was she there for us? If she was, why did we spill our guts to Sadie on a regular basis? Well?”
“What if she has a breakdown or worse? She’s drinking a lot,” Cala said miserably.
“That’s by her choice. Not ours. That’s her weakness, not ours. We’re tough, remember. Why didn’t all that bullshit rub off on her?”
“Because Dad kept her under his thumb. He liked her submissive. She lived for those little pats on her head and the few kind words he doled out when he was in the mood. She bought into it. Let’s not forget she was the rich one, not him. I hope he goes fucking bald. ” Mike’s words had the desired effect on his siblings, and they burst into laughter.
“Sadie, how nice of you to meet me. Thanks. Lord, it’s freezing. Are you sure you don’t mind me staying with you for a few days?”
“Not at all. I’m worried about you. Do you have any idea how ghastly you look? I’m saying this because I’m your friend. Friends are allowed to say things and worry about their friends. I guess I do and don’t understand why you’re here. What is it you hope to accomplish? If Logan is gone, then he’s gone.”
“Just like that. If he’s gone, he’s gone. If he is gone, that means everything was a lie. How do you expect me to live with that?” Kristine said as she settled into the passenger seat of the Volvo. “The kids ... God, I don’t even know where to begin. The things they said, the way they feel ... I can’t handle it. Mike is ... so belligerent. Cala is mouthy, and Tyler, his eyes fill up constantly. I don’t know how to make it right for them.”
“The time to make it right was a long time ago. You didn’t do it, and this is the result. I’m going to tell you the way it is, Kris, and I’m not going to sugarcoat it.”
“Tell me what, for heaven’s sake?”
“Your children detested their father with a passion. They weren’t wild about you, either, because, according to them, you’d prostitute yourself to Logan for a smile or a pat on the head. That’s pretty strong stuff coming from kids. All I did was listen. So did Jim. They never wanted or expected anything from us. They just wanted to unload. They needed someone, and we were there. End of story.”
“Dear God! They said ... implied ... they believe that Logan was a womanizer. Do you know anything about that? If you did know, I wonder why y
ou didn’t tell me, Sadie. Well?”
Sadie fumbled in the console for a cigarette. “Rumors like that are always around. Every day I hear a new one. You were his wife, Kris. Did you ever suspect Logan was anything but the White Knight you believed him to be?”
“No. The kids sounded so sure. Other kids hear their parents talking, and they repeat what they hear. So, what you’re saying is, you did hear the rumors.”
“I did hear them, Kris. I didn’t want to believe them because you were so happy. Men slip when they’re having affairs. You would have picked up on something. Wouldn’t you?”
“Obviously I didn’t. He took all our money. It wasn’t transferred the way it was supposed to be. My personal checking monies were never transferred, either. I don’t know a thing about Logan’s pension. He took care of everything. I simply signed papers when my signature was required. He’s had my power of attorney for twenty years. He never abused it.”
“That was pretty damn stupid of you, Kris.”
“Yes, I guess it was. I loved him so much, Sadie. He was my life. Waking up next to him every morning was a thrill not to be believed. I worshiped him. There was nothing I wouldn’t have done for him. He said he felt the same way. We were good together. We were in love. Twenty years later we were as much in love as we were the day we got married. I refuse to believe I was so stupid I didn’t see ... things.”
“You were obsessive, Kris. You saw and heard what you wanted to see and hear. You made excuses and believed those excuses. Your kids saw through it. Look. That’s past. You can’t unring the bell. In case you haven’t noticed, you’ve been talking in the past tense, so I guess that means in your heart of hearts you know something is very wrong. Is it possible you’re beginning to believe your kids?”
Kristine shrugged. “Has Jim said anything?”
“No. It’s a guy thing, Kris. These guys have their own cockamamie code when it comes to stuff like this. I did hear him talking to Joe Evans one day last summer. He made a comment that ol’ Logan was off again for fun and games. It was the weekend of Sandy Richards’s birthday party. You came alone.”
Celebration Page 6
