“But I’m not old yet. Maybe I would like to try it.” She looked down at his chin. “I don’t want you to get bored with me.”
“That’s impossible, love.” He took her hand. “Come to bed with me.”
He stripped her of her robe and laid her in his bed. It would be too easy to climb on top of her and drive himself into oblivion but he didn’t want to rush it. He removed his pants and lay down beside her. All he did was touch her at first, stroking his hands down her body.
“I’m ready,” she said shyly. Her cheeks burned adorably.
“I’m not.” He wouldn’t last two seconds if he took her now. “I want to touch you.”
She blushed again and nodded. “Tell me what you want me to do.”
He shook his head. It was the second time she’d asked that. “Nothing. Just relax.”
“I—I can’t. I want to make you feel good. Show me how to touch you.” She reached for his manhood and as soon as her hands cupped it, he let out a hiss. Before he knew it she had him on his back.
“Now I’m king of the castle.” She grinned, raising her arms triumphantly.
He grinned back up at her. She was playful in bed. That was one of the things he loved about her. He sat up wrapping his arms around her, kissing her openmouthed. The heat jumped between them, and he throbbed painfully.
Make it last, he warned himself. Make it good for her.
He rolled them over. He was on top now, smiling into her beaming face. He’d give nearly anything to see her like that all the time.
“I don’t think so, lass.” He cupped her breast, bent his head to flick his tongue across her nipple. “Have I ever told you how beautiful your breasts are? They are, love.” He suckled gently on one breast until she moaned and then the other till she squirmed.
“I know you don’t call them breasts in your head. What do you call them?”
“You honestly want to know?” She nodded, her lovely green eyes twinkling. “Tits, but I learned long ago that most ladies don’t like them referred to as tits when you’re making love to them.”
“It does take the romance out of things.” She reached between his legs to grip him. “And this? What do you call it?”
“Jerry.”
She giggled, and he grew harder in her hand. Once upon a time he had hated gigglers. He probably still did, but a giggle coming from his wife was incredibly sexy.
“You do not.”
“I don’t, but I feel like I’m teaching my innocent lass dirty words.”
She raised a brow at him. “I’m pregnant, naked, and have a penis in my hand. I think my innocence is no longer an issue.”
He couldn’t argue with that point.
“I call it my pecker most of the time, but when I’m feeling a bit horny it becomes a cock.”
“So…” She slid her hand down his shaft, mischievousness lighting her face. “So right now I’m stroking your cock.”
“Charlotte.” He bent to kiss her quiet. “Don’t say naughty words.”
“Why not?”
“Because I said so.” He sat down on the bed pulling her legs over his. She was spread open to him, so pretty and pink, and he marveled that his child was going to be coming out of there in a matter of months. Instead of turning him off, it made him hard enough to burst. “Will you do something for me, love?”
“Anything you want.”
“Show me how you touch yourself.”
A furious blush covered her body. “I don’t do that very often.”
She was adorably embarrassed, and a little guilt rose inside him. “You can say no.”
He watched her intently for her response. She didn’t say a word, just did what he asked, her face a mixture of pleasure and mortification. It was then he realized that she would do nearly anything for him, and it was a hell of a good feeling. He soon replaced her fingers with his own, and she relaxed. She was so wet, so aroused that being outside her was too much to handle. But first he had to taste her. Her lifted her, touching his mouth to her sweet lower lips, and kissed her deeply. After only two strokes of his tongue she came, and so powerfully that he had to pin her to the bed to keep her from tumbling off it.
“I told you I was ready.” She smiled shyly.
“I just wanted to make sure.” He fitted his body over hers, kissed her pretty pink mouth, and slid into his heaven.
Hours later they were still awake. He could tell that Cherri was exhausted but for some reason she would not drop off to sleep. Her sleepy eyes were open, taking in his features as she trailed her fingers over his face.
“Why do you keep touching me like that?” It was almost as if she were memorizing his face in case he disappeared.
“I’m sorry.” She withdrew her hand.
He brought it back, kissing the backs of her fingers. “I didn’t say stop. I rather like being petted like a cat. I just wanted to know why you’re doing it.”
“I don’t know.” She curled her fingers into his hair. “I keep waiting for you to yell at me for touching you.”
He set his lips to hers. “Now, why would I do that?”
“I don’t know. I just never thought we would be here. I never thought we would end up married.”
No. He couldn’t say he’d pictured them married, either, but he knew the moment he saw Charlotte that she would forever impact his life. “I was damn near obsessed with you for years. If I didn’t marry you I was going to go insane.”
“You wanted me?” She was surprised.
“From the day I met you. Don’t you know how beautiful you are, Charlotte? I could barely keep my hands to myself.”
“Why did you? You know I wouldn’t have minded.”
“I don’t know. You’re a bit younger than me, love. I know it doesn’t matter, but I thought I needed to be with someone my own age. Someone who wanted the same things out of life. But I wanted you so bad that none of that mattered. I needed to have you, and marriage seemed to be the only way I could.”
It never left the back of his mind that this wasn’t the life she wanted. She never wanted to be his. She had tried to push him away, to put a stop to them the day Baba died. The day he wouldn’t take no for an answer. She had always had doubts about them.
And then she got pregnant. She didn’t plan on motherhood or being saddled with him. He should have listened to his conscience. He should have stayed away. But he couldn’t. Being with her and feeling guilty was a hell of a lot better than being without her and feeling miserable.
“You didn’t have to marry me, you know.”
“I did. You are having my baby and I’m a selfish lad. I just couldn’t have some of you. I needed all of you. I don’t want any other man to ever have you.”
“Oh.” She pressed her hand to her stomach, a sad look crossing her face.
“What is it, beauty?”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Making you so unhappy.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is.” She slid on top of him and pressed a kiss to his throat. “And I would like to make it up to you.”
She didn’t have to make it up to him. It was the other way around. He needed to find a way to make it up to her. To make her happy. If he only knew how to accomplish that.
* * *
They spent the next morning working in the shop. Cherri had tried her best to keep things going while Colin was in bed with the flu but things still got backed up. There were tasks she simply had no skill at. She watched him now as he lovingly polished an old carnival ride that was going into a big New York City museum. He didn’t do anything halfway; every piece, no matter who it was for or how much money it brought in, got the same amount of careful attention. He was a master, and to look at him you couldn’t tell how successful he was because he never boasted or bragged. He kept his awards tucked away in his drawer, along with the letters from thankful customers.
He was doing what he loved. She wanted that. She wanted to do what mad
e her happy.
“You’re staring at me again, lass.”
“You’re hot.”
“Am I?” He grinned at her and sauntered over, his big body seeming to take up the entire room. “You are, too.” He wrapped his arms around her and set his lips on her forehead. “Even if you’ve got paint smeared on your cheek.”
They leaned against each other for a long moment, not saying anything. Cherri buried her nose in his shirt so that she could inhale his scent. Linseed oil, shaving cream, skin. Her favorite smell. It soothed her. And today it made her cry.
“What is it now, love? Why are you weeping?”
“I want to tell you something.”
He stepped back so he could look down into her eyes. “What is it?” She watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed hard. She didn’t want to worry him, but this was something she had to do.
“I got offered a job.”
He blinked at her then shoved his fingers through his dark hair. “You’re going to have to do more talking than that, love.”
“It’s teaching art at an elementary school in Rhinebeck.”
“Oh,” was all he said. She was expecting more from him than just an unreadable expression.
“They offered me the job a while ago, but I couldn’t take it because I couldn’t leave Baba. But they called me again last week and I think I want to take it.”
“You couldn’t leave your grandmother but you can leave me?” There was a sharpness in his voice that she didn’t expect. It surprised her. She’d thought this was the perfect opportunity for him to get his shop back, his space, some of the freedom he had before she shook his life up. He made it clear last night that the only reason he married her was because she was having his baby. He thought he had to take care of her. She wanted him to see that she could take care of herself.
“You’re not a seventy-five-year-old woman.” She shook her head. “I won’t have to worry about leaving you alone all day. The commute was too far. If something had happened to her I would never have been able to reach her.”
“You would commute?”
“Yes.” She frowned at him. “What’s wrong with you? Of course I would commute. I’m not asking you to move to Rhinebeck.”
He inhaled deeply and then reached for her, pressing his lips to her forehead. “I should listen,” he said quietly. “Talk to me about this job.”
“I don’t want to be unhappy.”
He searched her face. “Are you unhappy, Charlotte?”
“No.” She shook her head, unable to make sense of the jumble of thoughts in her mind. “I don’t know how to say this. I’ve had to put off what I wanted for a long time. I had Baba to take care of. I wouldn’t give up a minute of the time I had with her, but I always felt like I was missing out on something. And now we are going to have a baby. I’m going to love him but there has never been a time in my life when I could do what I wanted. My life had to get put on hold for Baba. And now that I’m going to be a mother my life will revolve around my child. Before that day comes I want a chance to do some of the things I’ve dreamed of. I’ve got to take this job. If I don’t, I’m going to feel like I missed out on my only chance.”
“I know this isn’t the life you wanted.”
“It’s not—”
“I know, Cherri.” He walked completely away from her and back to the piece he was sanding, and she felt like he’d more than just physically left her. “We’ve got a couple of pieces to finish up. I’ll put the word out that you won’t be painting any more furniture.”
“Whoa.” She walked over to him. “Who said I wasn’t painting anymore?”
“How are you going to do it, lass?” he said, sounding weary. “You’re going to commute two hours, teach all day, and then come home, paint at night, and be my wife. You’re carrying my baby. How can you do it all?”
She didn’t know. She touched her belly. She was already feeling the effects of her pregnancy. He was right but she didn’t want him to be. “This is what I went to school for, Colin. All my life I planned to be an art teacher. I have to try it. I’m not due till September. There’s only a few months left in the school year. And I’ll be off during the summer. I’m not saying anything is definite. I wanted to speak to you first. I thought the best part of having a husband is having someone to make decisions with.”
“Make decisions with?” He shook his head. “I don’t think there is any decision to be made. You’ve already decided what you’re going to do.”
“Col…” She felt near tears again. She felt ridiculous. “I want your blessing.”
“You don’t need it, love. It seems you don’t need anything from me at all.” He kissed her head and left the room.
* * *
Colin didn’t know where he was going until he pulled up in front of Size Me Up. A thousand thoughts were rolling around in his head. He just knew he had to get away from Charlotte, to clear his head, to think about the state of his fragile marriage.
He couldn’t lose her. And it had nothing to do with the life they’d created. He just couldn’t let her go.
“Colin.” Ellis stopped tidying a rack of dresses and walked over to him. She hugged him tightly for a long time. “How is our girl?”
“Better. Bringing Rufus back really helped. Do you have a few minutes? I want to talk to you about something.”
She nodded. “We can take a walk. Let me grab my coat.”
“No, Ellis.” Mike appeared from the back of the shop. “I should talk to him.”
Colin stared at Mike for a moment, tempted to refuse his offer. Mike always disapproved of them. He was the last person he wanted to admit to that things were going wrong in his marriage, but Mike was like his brother. He just couldn’t turn him away.
“Let’s go, mate.”
It was April. Spring had just arrived but the air was still chilly, the sky still gray. There were barely any people wandering about the usually busy shops of St. Lucy Street. It was as if the world around him reflected his mood. For a long time he and Mike walked without exchanging a word. They had been friends so long that most of the time they didn’t have to say anything to each other, but now the silence felt strained. Colin had barely seen his friend since his wedding day. He had been so preoccupied with Cherri, and being sick, and trying to navigate married life that there wasn’t space enough in his head to think about his strained relationship with Mike.
“I know I’m at risk of sounding like a woman,” Mike said, “but I miss you, man.”
“Oh hell, lad. Next you’re going to tell me that you’ve decided to start wearing female underwear beneath your trousers.”
Mike grinned at him, and the tension melted away. “No, but I have started waxing my legs. What’s going on with you?”
Colin was silent for a long moment, unable to put all that was going on with him into a few words. “Cherri’s not happy.”
“Her grandmother died two months ago. Of course she’s not happy. She’s still mourning.”
“It’s more than that. She’s going to leave me.”
“Fuck,” Mike said under his breath. “What happened?”
“She wants to take a teaching job an hour away. She says she needs some time for herself. She said she wants the chance to be happy.”
“So she told you she’s going to move out?”
“Not yet, but it’s coming. I can feel it. She didn’t want this life. She didn’t want to be married or have a baby. I know if she takes this job I’m going to lose her. She’s going to walk away just like my mother did.”
“You’re a huge dumbass.” Mike shook his head. “She’s not going to leave you. She just wants to have her own thing. Everybody needs to have their own thing. Ellis has her store. You have your shop, and Cherri has her art. I know that alone I’m not enough to make Ellis happy. I wish her world started and ended with me but it wouldn’t be right. I probably wouldn’t love Ellis if she was that kind of girl. Cherri’s not that kind of girl, either. She has to c
arve out her own niche. She’ll never be happy if all she has is you. I know things are tough right now. I know this isn’t the way you expected your marriage to turn out, but your only goal in life is to make sure your wife is happy. And if she wants to take a job an hour away, you let her do it. If she wants to take trapeze lessons you offer to pay for them. Trust me, life is better when your wife gets what she wants.”
“What about what I want?”
“You want your wife, don’t you?”
“Of course I do! Why the hell do you think I married her?”
“Because you love her,” Mike said. “You have to. I’ve never seen you so miserable before. That’s how I knew I was in love. I was miserable as shit and okay with the fact that some woman had me by the balls.”
“Bloody hell.”
“Damn right. Let’s go eat. I’ve been dying to try those death wings at that new chicken joint. Ellis refuses to come with me.”
“That’s why you need your mate.”
“Yeah. Girls suck sometimes.”
* * *
Rufus hopped up on the couch and on top of Cherri.
“What the—”
He rested his head on her chest, snuggling into her. She couldn’t shoo him off the furniture or away from her. She didn’t have the energy to, so she wrapped her arms around Baba’s dog and held him close.
“You were in the garbage can, weren’t you? You smell like coffee grinds and barbecue chips.”
He looked up at her with his soulful doggy eyes and sighed.
“I’m going to go into the kitchen and find a big mess, aren’t I? That’s why you’re here. You’re trying to butter me up so I don’t try to make doggy stew out of you.”
He inched his heavy body forward and licked her chin.
“Gross.” She wiped her chin. “But you’re right. I’m not going to make doggy stew. We don’t have a pot big enough.” She scratched behind his ears. “I’m sorry I sent you away. I was a big stupid mess. Baba would have beat me with her cane if she saw how I was acting.”
Rufus sighed again.
“I miss her, too. I feel so sorry for Colin. In a matter of months he got stuck with a crazy wife, a garbage-eating dog, and an unborn baby. I royally screwed up his life. If it weren’t for this baby he would probably leave me. And if I didn’t love him so much I would leave him. He’s been gone two hours. Do you think he’s coming back?” She looked down at her dog and kissed his nose. “I’ve gone freaking crazy. I’m pouring my heart out to a dog. I need to get a grip.”
Thrown for a Curve Page 21
