“Oh. Oh God! Jessie, that’s amazing. I’m so happy for you both. Tell Will that, okay? And I’m sorry I wasn’t there. Maybe… soon.”
“Yes, soon. Is Elliot there now? You sound like you could use some help about now.”
“No. He and Cal, I’ve mentioned him, right? The manager? Well they had an appointment with a speech writer. They weren’t happy with their last one. I’ll be fine until they get back.”
“When? Focus, Lindsey. When will he be back? Soon? Dinner time? Later?”
Why did that possibly matter? He would return at some point. Like always. “Uh, I don’t know. Later. I think they were having dinner with the guy.”
“All right. Fine. Goodbye, Lindsey.”
She was shocked to hear the phone beeping at her. Jessie just hung up on her? But why? She couldn’t comprehend. She clicked the phone off and threw it away from the bed. Sleep. Yes, after she slept some more, she’d feel clearer. She could call Jessie back, and give her the proper congratulations that she deserved.
****
The door clicked ajar and Lindsey cracked her eyes open, but only a slit. Oh, even the gloom hurt her sore pupils. She wanted to roll over and burrow further under the covers. Elliot. He was back. Had it been that long? It must have been. She slept longer than she meant too.
He stood beside the bed. Whenever she pretended to sleep, he usually left after a few moments. She knew his patience was wearing thin. Her reprieve, and his kindness, by leaving her alone all day in the bed, was coming to an end soon. He could only tolerate so much. He stood silently by the bed, without offering even the hint of leaving.
She finally rolled over halfway toward him before suddenly sitting up. She blinked in disbelief.
Holy shit. She must’ve gone crazy. That was it. She was becoming delusional. She was sick. She was going to be committed.
Her father was standing there.
She shook her head and pushed back into the headboard. No. She wasn’t that crazy. She could not be seeing him. He was dead. Long dead.
The figure, the zombie, the ghost stepped forward and reached a hand out. She moaned softly in fear.
“Lindsey, don’t scream. No one is here. But we can’t risk it. I shouldn’t have come, but I had to see you.”
No. He wasn’t talking to her. She was doped out on Xanex, Vicodin and Oxycontin, anything Elliot could scrounge up for her. He could talk a valid story to get her what she needed. But, never before did her dead father’s ghost appear beside her bed to talk to her.
The figure gasped as his eyes raked over her. He suddenly fell to his knees beside her and grasped her hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing her knuckles. Holy shit. His mouth was warm. It wasn’t cold and it didn’t feel dead. She couldn’t understand. What was happening to her?
“What did he do to you? I swear, I thought he was a good man. I didn’t know he’d do these awful things to you.”
She licked her lips and finally whispered, “You’re dead.”
“No. I’m not. They removed me from the prison system and eradicated my presence in the world. But I am still alive.”
Her hands started to shake. This could not be happening. This could not be happening. She was literally going crazy. She’d been lying there for too long, comatose. Her medication was making her delusional. She should have been more careful and not combined them… and perhaps, not taken so many of them. Yes, that was it. She was imagining all of this. She was not, and could not, be talking to her father who died five years ago. Or… could she? Did it make some kind of perverse sense to her? Her father was still alive? Well sure, why not? Sure! Some covert group must’ve faked his death and let him go. Well, hell, didn’t that just fit perfectly? She was wrong about everything again, as always, so why not her father’s death? The world, as she now perceived it, was so screwed up, why not add this? “What? What the hell is going on? I don’t understand.”
“They couldn’t put me on trial because I knew too much. One of my greatest joys was exploiting people, Lindsey. Therefore, I know a lot of secrets. About everything. People. Places. Missions. Politicians. CIA. FBI. Even the damned president. I could embarrass all of them. I could divulge national security concerns. When I was arrested, I instantly became a huge liability, so I made it clear to them that I would use whatever I knew if they tried to prosecute me or kill me. I used Will’s trick: I wrote it all down and gave it to a lawyer, to be released upon my death. There were too many people’s futures resting in my hands. And my crimes were not of a political nature. They were… personal. So you see, they could not allow a trial to proceed. Instead, they struck a deal with me. I had to pretend I died, and disappear for good, forever. They wouldn’t let me live unless I kept quiet.”
“They?”
“A small group of just four people are the only ones in the entire world who know I’m still alive. Consider me a top secret intelligence operation. Did you really think I’d kill myself? Never. I made it so I always survived. Just as you need to make it so you continue to survive.”
She snapped the lamp on and blinked in shock. It was he! It was really her father. She tentatively stretched out one hand to touch his cheek. His hair was shaved, making him look older, and more fragile. His face seemed sunken, and wrinkled. He lost a substantial amount weight. He almost looked to her like a cancer survivor.
“Where do you live?”
He smiled wearily. “Canada. I have a new alias. I’m a retired city worker. I hail from Ontario and my wife recently died. So, with no kids or wife, I’m forging a new life in the city.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“No. I’m really not.”
“They pretended you hung yourself, and then set you up in Canada?”
“Yes.”
A bubble rose in her chest. It was almost a laugh. “Canada? They set you up in Canada?”
He finally started to smile in response to her disbelief. “Yes, fucking Canada.”
“How did you get here? Or get in?”
His chest puffed up. “I am still General Travis Bains. I know a thing or two about how to get things done. Don’t forget that, daughter. I can still get shit done.”
“Do you know how much I hate you?”
His smile faltered as he sunk down and slowly nodded. “Yes, I do.”
“I know what you did to her. You tried to destroy her. I hate you.”
“I know. But I didn’t do it to you. I loved you.”
She turned her head away. “Your love means shit to me.”
“As does Elliot’s. He did this, didn’t he? I observed the progression over the years. I noted your absences from major events. I kept track and noticed the pattern. I know what he did to my little girl.”
She turned away. “I am not your little girl. I wish I never was your daughter at all. All you see here is that I married my father, didn’t I?”
He flinched. “You did. I hope you know I am sorry. If I could take it back, I would. I lost everything. Especially you. I might as well be dead.”
“Then be dead.”
“Lindsey, I will not leave you like this.”
“What are you going to do for me? Kill Elliot? There is no escape for me.”
“No. I want to. But I don’t have enough time. I snuck in here. I need to get back before my presence is noticed. I came to tell you this: you need to leave. You need to get away now. You cannot stay here.”
The urgency of his tone barely registered through her foggy daze. In a hollow voice, she whispered, “I will never get free.”
“You will. If you leave now. Go to your sister. I know she’ll help you.”
“That’s the first place he’ll look for me. He could hurt them too, you know. Unlike you, I care too much for them and I will not let any harm befall them. So, I will have to live with this. As I learned to live with what you did.”
He didn’t speak for an entire minute. “There is a man watching you.”
“What?”
“Yes, he’
s been here for almost a week. Every day. He waits and watches the house. He is tall, with dark hair and black glasses. Noah Clark. Jessie’s boyfriend. What the hell is he doing here, watching you?”
She sat up. “Noah? Noah is here? Watching me? What is this?”
“Seems someone else figured it out too. Is he a friend?”
“Yes. He is… no, he was. He should not be here. I don’t understand.”
Her father got up and swept all her pills into the trash basket from the bathroom. “You need to get your head clear. You must be sober. You need all your wits. You will leave everything behind and go with this Noah guy. Find a place that Elliot could never know about. Go there. And never look back. Never come back. Don’t even contact your sister. Let this life go. Leave.”
Tears fell from her eyes. “Who are you to tell me what to do? You’re an awful person. Why should I listen to you? You betrayed Jessie. You betrayed our country. You betrayed the uniform. You betrayed everything that is good and decent in the world. You betrayed me. You ruined everything I ever believed in.”
His shoulders fell. “I know. It went too far. All of it. I got caught up in my own power. I hated Jessie. I really did. She symbolized what your mother did to me. I didn’t feel anything towards her. Not like I did with you. I never lied to you about that.”
“Did you kill Mom?”
He instantly stopped dead, no longer collecting all the litter around her bed. “Kill her? Is that what you believe? No! No, I didn’t kill your mother. I did some bad things, but I am not all evil. I never killed anyone. And I did not intend for Jessie to get raped in Mexico, just as I had nothing to do with Will’s disappearance in Afghanistan. I only have so much power.”
“You didn’t kill her?”
“No, it was a tragic accident. And perhaps, I took out my sense of betrayal and grief on Jessie.”
“Perhaps? You ruined her. You are all evil.”
He nodded. “Fine. Use that. Use your hate towards me as motivation to get your ass out of bed, and get out of here. Save your own life.”
“Who was her father?”
“What?”
“Jessie. Who was her father?”
He sighed with frustration. “This matters for shit right now, but it was a man named Steven Bremton. He was a parent of another toddler in your preschool class. Your mother spent a lot of time with him, volunteering. And that is where Jessie came from. He is married now for thirty-plus years, and has two kids who are both successful and now starting their own families. He never knew about Jessie. I saw to that. And finding out now? What could that do? Besides blowing his life apart, as well as Jessie’s. As you’ve pointed out, I’ve done that long enough.”
She stared at him long and hard, as she slid back down onto the mattress. His presence. His news. His answers exhausted her mind. They were surreal. But more than anything, the knowledge that he was alive had her nearly convinced she must be having a delusional conversation with an apparition of her own making. “When I found out you hung yourself, I completely believed it. I knew you would never tolerate such a scandal. And I told Jessie it didn’t matter. You got what you deserved. You chose that. We were done grieving over you. But… the thing was, for me, that wasn’t true. My heart got ripped out that day. You broke my heart for every day before that, as I learned every awful thing you did; but after you were dead… you literally broke me. You ruined my life. You ruined who I was. Just… please, get out. There is nothing left for you to do here.”
“You put up with it as punishment, don’t you? I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about you, while trying to decide if my gut feeling was right and you were really in trouble. Then my head would argue, that no, no way, would my girl, my Lindsey, Lindsey Bains, ever stick around and be beaten up by a man. I was always so proud of you. I knew, I just knew you were destined for great things.
“Letting this happen to you, I finally realized, that was because of me. You think because I did it to Jessie, and you somehow let it happen, that you deserve it too. But, I didn’t do that to Jessie. I never hospitalized her. I got mad at her. I did. I don’t deny that. I was wrong to do the things that I did. But it was one thing at a time, and never a beating like this.”
“Oh, well, that makes it okay then. What about letting your pervert friends rape her?”
“It just all happened. I got drunk on my own power. But why aren’t you fighting back?”
“Survival. I guess I really don’t want to die. So, I do what I can to stay alive.”
He threw down the garbage he collected in his hands. “Get up! Get sober! Be the daughter I raised you to be! And this is not it. Cowering in bed. Beaten. Drugged. No! I will not accept this is what you’ve become.”
He yanked the bedcovers off her. She tried to clutch them, but missed. Her father stopped in horror, as his eyes grew large and sad. He reverently, slowly, touched her legs, saying, “Oh baby, what did he do to you?”
“Everything,” she whispered, meeting his gaze. “Everything you ever let happen to Jessie, Elliot did to me. You started all of this.”
“I’ll kill him.”
“How? You’re already dead. They’ll simply blame it on me. So, no. Don’t. Just get out. Go back to Canada, you miserable, cowardly sack of shit.”
He stared at her hard as she curled up into a ball. Silence ticked on for minutes. Finally, very softly, he said, “I’ll tell Jessie. I’ll contact her and tell her I’m alive. I’ll tell her what’s happened to you. I will, damn it. You pushed me that far and I’ll do it. I’ll go let Jessie know she is not free of me.”
No. He could not call her sister! That would destroy Jessie all over again. Jessie did not deserve that. Not now. Not today. Today, now that she had her baby. One she could keep and raise and love. One she shared with Will. No. She would not let that happen. Through her foggy, drug-addled mind, she found that much resolve.
“Don’t you dare go near my sister! Not ever again.”
“Fine. Use that as an incentive to get your ass out of bed and get away from here. If not for yourself or common decency, then do it for Jessie.”
“You would really use her against me? Haven’t you done enough to her?”
“Yes. But I need to do this for you.” He leaned forward and touched her forehead as he gently stroked her tangled hair. “Ah, Lindsey, you are my redemption. You are all that I have to show for my life. You always were. That was never a lie. So, I can’t leave you like this.”
She stared him down and he raised his eyebrows as if to say “your move.” She swallowed and her head spun around. She wanted nothing more than to lie back down and never move again. But what about Jessie? He was threatening Jessie. She could not let that happen.
She slowly swung her legs over the edge of the bed, and gulped the nauseating bile that climbed up her throat. She stood on shaking, quivering legs. Her body still groaned with soreness and bruises.
“It won’t work. He’ll find me wherever I go and kill me.”
“He is about to be the most tracked and photographed man in Virginia and D.C. So, no, he won’t. The man is as ambitious as I used to be. Nothing will derail his plans or his campaign. You will know where he is at all times, simply because he is about to become a public figure. Sure, he’ll spin it that you left the house after this scary attack for safety reasons. He’ll only come out better for it. Trust me, I know, because it’s what I would do in his position. If you believe I am he, then you must believe I know how he’ll react. And you need to leave.”
The long t-shirt she wore slid down to her knees. She took a step forward and swayed, catching herself on the nightstand, before she took another one. Then another.
He nodded in approval. “You’re Lindsey Bains, not Lindsey Johanson. Don’t forget the good, Lindsey. There was good between us. You represent all the good in me. Don’t let what I did change any of that. Please, Lindsey.”
He walked into her closet and came back out with jeans and a sweatshirt. He helped her dress
and the sheer surrealism of it made it feel fake. Like she made it up. She was not being dressed by her dead father and about to leave Elliot. No. That wasn’t happening. It could not happen. She was in a huge bout with denial over conjuring up her father, because at her very core, he was the man she wanted to come and rescue her. She once went to him for everything: answers, love, and ultimately, protection. And he was whom she wished would help her. That made her a wicked traitor to Jessie.
Her father was still a tall, strong man. He carried himself with the same bearing that benefited a man who commanded an Army. He put his arm under her.
“Is there anything sentimental you want to keep?”
“My purse. It has all my stuff. Some clothes. Maybe a jacket.”
His face whipped down to catch her eye. “You’re doing this then? You really are?”
She shrugged. It had to be dream anyway, so why not pretend to escape her prison?
He squeezed her hand. “That’s my girl. That’s my soldier. You are still in there.” He kissed the top of her head and put his hand gently on her jaw.
“What do you plan to do? Walk up to Noah and say, here she is?”
“Kind of. I’m not leaving you here, whatever I do.”
“You’re crazy. This won’t work.”
“It will. And Lindsey? I love you. If nothing else convinces you of that, just know that I am on a short leash. If they realize I’ve come back here, they will terminate me. I have to leave tonight. But know now that if I do die, for real, but I get you safely away from Elliot, it was worth it. You are all that I have left who is worth anything.”
She snorted. “It won’t matter. You’re as good as dead to me.”
“Ah, sweetheart, don’t discount me yet.”
“I still hate you. I will forever hate you.”
He smiled as he gently pulled her forward to descend the stairs. “If only I had a penny for how many times I’ve thought that too. That’s fine, sweetheart, as long as you leave here. I can accept that.”
Chapter Seventeen
The Good Sister (Sister Series, #2) Page 20
