“Perchance he does,” her husband said, and slid his hand down the length of one leg. His fingers closed about the gown and he drew it up. His smile turned playful instead of wicked just a moment and he tossed the sheer material over her head.
Meghan giggled. She peered down at him through the ivory-colored material, and shuddered when his mouth closed over her breast once more.
“Much better,” he said as he suckled. “Not nearly as dry without the gown… and so… so much more tender,” he murmured.
“Whatever shall I do with you?” she asked him, though she knew very well what he would answer.
“Feed me, of course.”
“Of course.”
“I love you, Meghan,” he whispered against her skin. His breath, hot and delicious, sent shivers down her spine.
“I love you, too,” she whispered back, and meant it with every last piece of her heart. She lifted the veil from her face and fell against him, forcing his head up, kissing his neck. He let his head loll to one side, baring his neck for her, allowing her to do her will.
Meghan sank her teeth into his flesh ever so gently. “Just one more wee thing,” she told him coyly. He slid his hands down to cup her bottom in answer. Meghan smiled, and lazily lapped the salt from his skin.
“And that would be…”
“Well… I think mayhap you should send a few men to help my brothers rebuild that fence…”
“Ummmmmmhhhhhh,” he agreed, and shuddered when she bit him once more. Meghan inhaled the scent of him into her lungs, taking pleasure in his body’s response to her touch.
Cupping her bottom, he lifted her up, standing. He turned and tossed her upon the bed. Meghan laughed softly.
“I will go myself,” he promised her, grinning down at her. “Tomorrow!” And he flung himself over her upon the bed, somehow managing to trap her beneath him without landing atop her. Meghan was overjoyed at his enthusiasm and told him so.
“Shaddap, wife!” he commanded her, though his boyish grin spoiled the mandate. “Show me how grateful you can be.”
Meghan giggled, lifting her legs up to lock about his waist. “No no no no, you greedy, greedy man!” she exclaimed. “’Tis your turn to show me!”
“Damn but you drive a wicked bargain!” he said and winked. He reached back, unlocking her legs, and guided them down upon the bed. “But I thought ye’d never ask,” he said, and slid down her body while lifting her gown.
Meghan sighed with delight and closed her eyes, anticipating the heady kiss of his mouth. There was no greater pleasure than this… to lie within the arms of the man she loved.
Chapter 14
The waning sun cast a golden hue over the horizon, as though God had lit a candle and placed its gilded light within their little corner of the world. Darkness lingered somewhere beyond its bounds, but here in this little province, all shadows were banished.
It was almost surreal.
It was surely perfect.
It was an unusually warm evening, as well. Even the breeze that rifled through Seana’s hair carried a whisper of the sun’s lingering breath. Mingled with the soft sounds of Colin’s sighs at her back, and the gentle current of cooler wind, it confused Seana’s senses, sent tiny shivers down her spine.
Colin’s mare seemed in no hurry at all. The animal took lazy strides that mellowed the mood even further, allowing Seana and Colin the leisure of conversation. And yet, neither of them spoke to breach the silence.
Not for the longest time.
“’Tis a lovely sunset,” Seana said after a time. She lifted her head to the heavens, admiring the view.
“Aye,” Colin agreed.
His breath upon her shoulder sent a quiver through her.
“Are ye cold, lass?”
Seana shook her head. She wasn’t in truth, only far too aware of the man at her back. He put his arms about her, tentatively at first. Seana’s heart leapt a bit at his touch.
“What if I am?” he asked her then. “Would ye deny me warmth, lass?”
His voice was so soft and silky that Seana swallowed, unable to speak, even to tease him. She turned to look at him, and his blue eyes glimmered at her. Seana averted her gaze, staring ahead. When she didn’t protest, he tightened his hold upon her and leaned his chin upon her shoulder.
“Ye can see now that I do not bite,” he said jovially.
He was referring to her hesitation to ride with him upon his mare, despite the lateness of the hour. Meghan had talked her into it, telling her that her brother wouldn’t bite… Seana wasn’t at all certain he didn’t.
“Aye well… we shall see, now, won’t we? Mayhap you’re just biding your time,” she told him, in an attempt to keep the conversation light.
“And mayhap you would even like it?” he teased back, and lowered his lips to her shoulder. He opened his mouth ever so slightly, preparing to bite, she thought, to sink his teeth into her.
Seana shuddered and ducked away from the tantalizing touch of his teeth.
“Och, Colin! Dinna even try it,” she warned him.
“Why not?” he asked, and his tone was far too waggish for Seana to take offense. He sounded like a mischievous little boy, and it managed to disarm her, when she thought he could not.
Was that how he wooed his women? she wondered—made them feel so at ease in his presence that they were not aware of the danger to their hearts?
Well, she was not interested in being one of Colin’s conquests, though she no longer felt any anger toward him.
Today, she had spent far too long beside his sister, listening to tales of Colin’s childhood. She understood now why Colin had been so repulsed by her, even if he didn’t understand himself.
Meghan had told her of Colin’s relationship with his da—how their da had demanded perfection from Colin and Leith, never relenting in his expectations. Meghan had not known her da so well, and neither had Gavin, but Colin, far more than even Leith, had been his da’s golden son. From the instant, Colin had been weaned from his ma’s breast, his da had carried him at his side, and Colin had been subject to his da’s every waking deed and thought.
Their father, it seemed, had been obsessed with beauty and perfection to such a degree that it had affected each of his children, as well as his wife. And in the end, it had killed him. Meghan claimed her da had died battling her mother’s assumed lover but that it had been his own jealousy that had made him believe such a thing of her. Her mother had been innocent.
Seana heard the tale a bit differently.
Seana had heard that Colin’s da had been cuckolding MacLean’s brother, and that MacLean’s brother had turned about and tried to repay him in kind—the vanity of men—but that Meghan’s mother had been much too in love with her wayward husband even to note another man’s attentions. The poor woman had done no more than smile at MacLean’s brother, and for that she had blamed herself the rest of her life.
In reality, Meghan’s da had been a bastard who had not been content enough with his own beautiful wife. He had cuckolded every man in these highlands and broken more hearts than his son could begin to know. He had valued only perfection and had rejected anything less. He had left his son’s and daughter with a bitter legacy that had affected each of them in their own way.
Seana had a gift for seeing things as they were. It amazed her da, but there was little wonder about it. It came simply from listening to people’s words and comparing it to what she saw in their hearts.
As Seana saw it, Meghan was afraid of her own beauty—she was bright enough to know it would not last, and so her greatest fear was to be cast aside. From what Meghan said, in response to their father, Gavin and Leith both seemed to impose perfection upon themselves, both in their own ways—Leith through his duty and Gavin through his God.
And Colin…
Seana contemplated that a time.
Colin… imposed perfection upon others… perhaps fearing the lack of it in himself. He was, in truth, his father’s son, but he saw
clearly enough to know what that meant and to know the evil in it, and the pain it inflicted upon others. Seana thought, perhaps, that he saw himself as a blasphemy against perfection… perhaps he surrounded himself with beauty as a manner of denial.
In sum, Meghan’s father had had a reputation that surpassed even that of his son.
Colin hadn’t had a bloody chance.
Like father like son.
Seana could no longer hate him for that.
In fact, the day had been a pleasure, and Colin had been a friend to her in ways that no man or woman ever had before.
Not even Broc.
She was beginning, even, to see the truth of what had attracted her to the behemoth blond.
It had been Broc who had come after her that terrible day, and had set her down upon a stone and wiped away her tears. To a young girl with scarce a friend in the world, and no one but her da to keep her company and show her kindness, Broc’s simple act had endeared him to her.
Seana had thought she loved him.
By the same token… to one who felt herself ugly and maimed, Colin’s childish cruelty had imprinted itself upon her heart.
She had thought she hated him.
Now everything was confused.
She no longer hated Colin, but neither did she dare to love him.
And yet, neither did she love Broc.
She could love Broc, but it wasn’t love until it was shared by two. After seeing Meghan and her new husband together, Seana understood what love was.
That wasn’t what she felt for Broc.
Or was it?
So what did she feel for Broc?
She thought about it a long while, summoned her feelings into her heart to feel them at their fullest degree.
Gratitude.
She felt much gratitude to Broc. Through the years, he had been the only man who had really ever smiled at her and spoken to her as though she were worth anything at all. He hadn’t turned his head in disgust of her whenever he’d spied her—even when she’d been a skinny, ugly child with a limp walk.
What else did she feel for him?
She tried to think of his lips… tried hard but they were blurred by the lips of the man at her back.
She tried to conjure his face but Colin’s twinkling blue eyes stared back at her.
What color were Broc’s eyes?
Och, but she did not even recall!
Seana frowned.
She didn’t dare explore her feelings for Colin—didn’t want to! Somehow, she felt it wouldn’t lead to any good at all.
Colin was Colin, and no one could change him now. Seana didn’t even pretend she might be able to heal his troubled heart. His life, to anyone who considered it, seemed filled only with pleasure, and he would likely die with a smile upon his face and some woman’s breast suckled in his mouth.
She frowned at the vision that came to her suddenly.
Well… it wasn’t any of her concern what he did. She couldn’t be the least bit jealous.
Broc was a fine and good man, and Seana would be a fortunate woman if she could manage to win his heart.
Broc could give her everything she ever wanted; a home, children, and security unlike any she’d ever had. Aye, she could do much, much worse than Broc.
“Why so quiet, lass?” Colin murmured at her back.
Seana shrugged. “I am only worried about my da,” she said, and it was the truth. She would not feel such an urgency to wed anyone at all, save that she wanted to give her da a better home. The cairn had served them well enough, but now he was far too frail. Seana was certain he’d never make it through the winter there. He seemed as helpless as a bairn. She leaned to feel for the sack she had tied to the saddle of Colin’s mare, and sighed in relief at finding it still there. Her da had likely not eaten the first bite since she had left him this morn. Guilt suffused her at having abandoned him so long.
“I’m certain he’s fine, Seana.”
It was the first time since he had asked her name that he had spoken it to her, and the sound of it upon his lips, surprised her. She turned to look at him.
Colin would have given much in that instant to know her thoughts.
It felt good to touch her, though for the first time in his life, he was uncertain his embrace was welcomed, and it kept his baser thoughts at bay. He might have allowed himself to savor the scent of her skin, but didn’t dare give himself the pleasure. He might have buried his lips in her hair and let his hands test the weight of it, but didn’t wish to upset her. It didn’t stop him, however, from dwelling upon her mouth… and craving the taste of her lips.
Watching his sister and her husband together had made him yearn for something more than an empty bed come morning. Had he ever spent an entire night with one of his lovers? Had more than stolen moments? He didn’t recall ever seeing a single sunrise in the sleepy arms of his lover. Nay, his kisses had all been hurried, lest he be caught by someone’s father… or brother… even a husband or two.
Colin had vowed never to marry, but suddenly he was rethinking his decision.
The thought of going to bed each night and looking forward to lazy morning kisses with the woman he loved seemed a powerful image for a man who crept into his own bed, alone, long after the sun had gone down, and woke, alone, to the sound of his two troublesome brothers.
Meghan had added a softness to their home, a gentle voice to soothe them after a tiresome day. He missed even her morning tirades, where she came in, berating him for his night’s carousing. But Meghan was gone now, and their home had grown cold. Where his sister had picked flowers to liven his room, the vessel sat now with withering stems protruding from it, surrounded by fallen petals that no one cared enough to clean.
Alison would be there soon, but Colin wasn’t certain which was worse—living with two ornery men, or waking to the sound of his brother and new wife making love within their room.
Not that he begrudged his brother a little happiness, nor did he want Alison for himself, but it would only serve to emphasize his empty bed.
He wasn’t precisely looking forward to it.
The walls were far too thin in that house.
How oft had he fallen asleep, listening to his mother’s weeping?
Too oft.
It had rent his heart, knowing she’d wept for a man who hadn’t deserved her undying love. How many times had he wished to tell her so, and not been able to bring himself to do it?
How many times had he crawled out of his bed, only to watch her from the hall… bury her face in her pillow and weep bitterly over his faithless da… and all the while knowing he was cut from the same cloth.
His da had been hard on him, to be sure—on him and Leith both. Colin understood that his da hadn’t wanted them to become like him. And fortunately for Leith, he had not, though his da’s unrelenting reprehension had neither left him unscarred. Even Meghan and Gavin… both had been far too young to remember their da, but not so young they were not influenced.
How could Colin have blasphemed his da, when he was no better, in truth?
His da must have recognized in Colin the same sickness he’d had within himself, because he’d been hardest toward Colin of all.
Colin tried not to be as his da was, but he struggled in vain. He didn’t know how to be anything else. He was drawn to the same things his da was, and so he understood his da in ways his brothers never could. It was a sickness inside of him. Somehow, it filled a void he didn’t otherwise know how to fill.
He didn’t know if his da had ever loved his minny, but he thought so. And yet he had hurt her, nevertheless. Colin was afraid of doing the same, and so he loved everyone from afar, and no one in truth. And yet he was well aware that somehow he still managed to hurt them. He tried to make them feel good, tried to make them happy, and somehow left them brokenhearted.
“Meghan says I should tell him to his face,” Seana announced.
Colin blinked. “Tell who what?” he asked, momentarily confused.
He had been so lost in his own thoughts.
“Broc… Meghan says I should tell him outright that I love him and that I wish to be his wife.”
Colin winced a bit to hear it put so concisely… not to mention the images that came at once to mind… Seana and Broc together… the very thought was becoming as distasteful to him as the aftertaste of her da’s uisge.
“Meghan says that men are too blind to see anythin’ but what they wish to see,” she continued.
Colin rolled his eyes. It sounded just like his shrewish sister. Beautiful Meghan certainly was, but Colin pitied her husband because his baby sister was going to lead him about by his Sassenach nose.
“And Meghan says—”
“Dinna listen to everything Meghan says, lass.”
“Meghan is wonderful!” Seana exclaimed. “Thank you for takin’ me to see her, Colin.” She looked up at him then, and smiled, and Colin’s breath left him for an instant.
Somehow, she grew lovelier every time he saw her, and this moment with the fading sunlight falling across her face, her skin was golden in color, and her green eyes sparkled with an inner light. Her black hair was rich and deep. A few strands tickled his face but he didn’t brush them away, instead he savored the silky feel of it and tried to catch the scent into his lungs.
“Meghan is wonderful,” he agreed, reaching out to brush a few wayward strands of her hair behind her ears, “but so are you, Seana.”
She blinked, and seemed surprised by his declaration. Her lashes lowered. He reached out and lifted her face to his.
“’Tis true,” he insisted, when she would not look at him. He knew what she was thinking, and loathed the child he had been, that he could wound a person as lovely as Seana so terribly that she could not see herself as she truly was. He didn’t believe for one instant he had been alone in his cruel tyranny against her, but he had certainly wounded her enough that she had never forgotten… and neither had he.
“You’re lovely, Seana,” he assured her. And though it wrenched his gut to say so, he added, “And Broc would be a fortunate man to have you. He’ll be a stupid man if he does not carry ye away at once to his bed.”
Highland Brides 03 - On Bended Knee Page 12
