Back then, I had no idea the magnitude of what I felt for Skylar. I was a kid. I didn’t realize the girl I liked would be the woman I’d love forever.
*
For the first time, what felt right at night feels even better in the morning. I woke up with Skylar wrapped in my arms. She fell asleep snuggled into my side, and I didn’t have the willpower to get up.
I’m awake, but I don’t make any attempt to get out of bed, the feel of her body pressed against mine, the warmth of her skin holding me hostage. I might as well be chained to the bed. I’d like to tie her up. That would be . . .
“Oh God,” she cries, snapping up out of my arms. “We’re in bed together.”
“We’ve slept together lots of times,” I say but know in my gut last night was different.
“We aren’t kids,” she says, getting up and straightening her clothes.
“You had a lot to drink,” I say, trying to calm her down, not liking one bit how upset she is at the thought of us in bed together. “We talked and just fell asleep.”
“I remember. But this,” she snaps, waving her hand toward the bed, “this is how mistakes happen.”
Feeling my jaw tense, I step closer to her and ask, “How do you know it would be a mistake?”
Her mouth falls open slightly, shocked at my forwardness. She really has no idea. “Because I’d be doing it in part to hurt Luke. I’d be using you to hurt him.”
“What if I don’t care?” I ask, daring her a little.
“You’d care.”
The only thing I care about at the moment is her. Screw the code, fuck the rules. Being with her trumps everything else. “I know you won’t care one ounce about Luke as soon as you let me kiss you. He’ll be wiped from your memory. I can promise you that.”
She stares at me for a minute, her blue eyes wide, her breasts rising and falling, and I bet her panties are soaked. There’s chemistry between us that she can’t deny. It’s just not something either one of us has ever acknowledged out loud before. There are some people that you just know you’d have blow-your-dick-off great sex with. You meet them, and it’s undeniable. There are also people you meet, and you know you’ll be friends forever. Skylar is both.
“Answer your phone,” she says.
“What?”
“Your phone,” she says, motioning to my nightstand. “It’s ringing. Answer it.”
I’d been too wrapped up in her to even notice the world around me. I reach for it, and Skylar heads right for the door. Damn it, just when we were getting somewhere.
Still staring at the door, I pick up my phone. “Jax, hey man, it’s Luke.”
“Luke, hey,” I say, looking down at the bed I was just in with the girl he shared his life with for the past decade. My eyes close, a heaviness sitting on my chest.
“Skylar there?”
“You know she is.”
“Any chance she’ll talk to me?” he asks.
“Doubt it.”
He exhales. “She okay?”
“I’m watching out for her,” I say, leaving out that I’m sleeping next to her, too.
“She tell you what happened?” he asks, his voice low.
“Not really.”
“She ended it with me. I mean, ten years, and she just walks out. No discussion, nothing. I was so pissed off.”
“Man, I really don’t want to be in the middle of your drama.”
“I slept with someone else,” he says, and I can hear the regret thick in his voice. “Skylar knows.”
I knew there was more to it than Skylar said. Luke is a good dude. I wouldn’t expect something like this from him. “I’m surprised you still have your dick.”
“That’s the thing. I wish she’d been angry, but man, I will never forget the look in her eyes. The hurt. I fucking crushed her. I don’t know that I’ll ever forgive myself for doing that to her.”
“Then why do it?”
“I was upset, and Skylar . . . she’s . . . my first, the only woman I’d ever been with,” he says, clearly ashamed or embarrassed about that fact. “I don’t know, man. I just lost it for a little while. I need her to forgive me.”
I listen to him for what feels like forever, my gut twisting more and more as he talks about how much he loves her, wants her back. By the time I hang up with him, I need a good, stiff drink. I’m not conflicted about Skylar, how I feel about her, what I want, but rolling over Luke to get it, that’s against all the rules. But I’ve never been great at following the rules.
Walking down the stairs, I see Skylar in the kitchen, cutting up some fruit for breakfast. I usually wake up and look out at the water, but nothing beats her standing in my kitchen. This is what I want, to wake up with her here, and not as a houseguest. Friendship is important to me, but how I feel about Skylar is more important. It sucks, but if I have to lose a friend to gain her, then that’s the price I’ll pay.
She’s worth it.
Her eyes catch mine, and I say, “That was Luke.”
Slowly, she puts the knife she was using down, pushing her food away from her slightly. I wasn’t about to keep his call a secret from her. She deserves to know. If she does end up with me, I don’t want it to be because I played dirty and kept things from her. I mean, it can be because I like it dirty, but in the bedroom, not in our friendship.
“He told me what happened,” I say.
Immediately, she heads toward the stairs, her head down, her body rigid, her movements quick, like she’s on a mission.
“Skylar,” I say, gently reaching out toward her, but she won’t let me touch her.
“Let me go, Jax,” she says. “I don’t want to think about it.”
“Luke is my friend, and he would agree with me. He’s a fucking prick for doing that to you,” I say.
Her eyes stare daggers at me. “No rule about how long you have to wait to screw someone else after a breakup?”
I’m in trouble. She’s in “all men are assholes” mode. Threat level red. Someone should hoist the red flag up on the beach, warning hazardous conditions ahead.
“And if you’re going to tell me that I broke up with him, so he’s free to do whatever he wants, I don’t want to hear it.”
“Okay,” I say, holding my hands up in peace.
“I really wish he wouldn’t have told you. It’s so embarrassing.”
“Why be embarrassed by someone else’s bad choices?”
“In my apartment, of all places,” she says, her head hanging down. “I’d asked him to return my key. When I got home, he was in bed with another woman.”
Luke left that part out. I can’t believe he’d do that. Honestly, he’s a good guy, but there’s no excuse for that. I don’t care how hurt he was, or if he was drunk off his ass. That’s just cruel. That’s why she came back to Waterscape when she did. That must’ve been the night before I picked her up at the airport.
“How am I ever going to sleep in that bed, in that apartment again?”
“You can always stay here,” I say, meaning here in my house, but first things first. “In Waterscape.”
She tilts her head. I’m sure she’s unable to make any life-altering decisions right now. “I always thought us being each other’s only was special,” she says. “I guess he saw it as a handicap.”
“Skylar?”
“Maybe that’s why he never proposed. He wanted to test drive some other women first.”
I’m not touching that comment with a ten-foot pole.
Gentleman’s Rule—Sometimes the best course of action is to let your woman vent!
CHAPTER SIX
SKYLAR
Waterscape doesn’t have a city ordinance on the style or color of the buildings and houses, but most of the town’s center consists of white buildings with balconies and porches. The streets are wide, the sidewalks pressure washed, and there’s not a speck of trash on the ground, even on race day.
The Jingle Run starts at the tourist building at the town’s center and winds its way
through the shops, restaurants, and galleries that the area is famous for. There’s a Santa crawl for babies, and a one-mile race, which we are doing today. I haven’t run in forever. The wintry weather in Chicago isn’t conducive to outdoor exercise, and I’m not much of a gym person. I’m thankful that this run isn’t along the beach. There is no way I’d be able to finish, something about running on the sand is ten times harder than running on the pavement.
Plus, Maci has me wearing this ridiculous Christmas tree costume. She and Malcolm are Mr. and Mrs. Claus, and the twins are little elves. It’s the first time one of the guys has ever dressed up. Guess he’s officially pussy-whipped. Jax isn’t even wearing red or green. He’s in running shorts and a white t-shirt. Everyone else has on cute little hats, red and white striped knee socks. Not me. I’ve got a green hood over my head with a huge star on it. Maci even went so far as to string battery operated lights off of me.
I’m not going to complain. Her theatrics lifted my mood after Luke’s call to Jax this morning, reminding me of what I walked in on just a few days ago.
“How am I supposed to run in this?” I ask Maci, adjusting some of my bulbs.
“You look adorable,” she says then looks to the guys. “Doesn’t she, boys?”
Malcolm dutifully nods, while Jax covers his mouth, trying in vain to contain his laughter. His smile makes me smile. Jax is contagious that way. It’s hard to be cross when he’s got that smirk on his face.
We slept in the same bed last night. It was an accident on my part, but I’m not sure it was for him. He made it pretty clear this morning that he’d like to do more than sleep. Would serve Luke right if I fucked his friend after what he did. Jax didn’t seem put-off by the idea, either, which surprises me. There’s got to be some rule against banging your friend’s ex! He and Luke aren’t as close as they once were just with the distance and everything, but he’d risk their friendship for a roll between the sheets with me?
It doesn’t really matter. I’m not the revenge sex type. If Jax ever ended up in my bed, it would have to be about more than sticking it to Luke.
We all take our places at the starting line. In the past, Maci and I would run together, but I know she’ll be staying beside her little family this morning. That’s the way it should be, and it makes me happy.
“You’re not quite a Sequoia,” Jax whispers in my ear.
I bust out laughing right as the buzzer sounds, starting the race. Everyone whizzes by me, the sound of jingle bells on running shoes echoing in my head. I try to run, but the stride of my legs is confined by my tree trunk. I’m moving at roughly the speed of a senior citizen in a walker.
The fact that I’m laughing so hard at myself isn’t helping my situation. Maci looks back at me, snapping a picture of me on her phone. That’s a good friend for you, the ones that have all the blackmail photos. She pats Malcolm on the shoulder, motioning toward me. The last thing I need is to draw more attention to myself.
“Go,” I yell out. “I’ll meet you at the finish.”
“I got her,” Jax calls out to them, then before I know what’s happening, he hoists me up over his shoulder.
“Jax, put me down,” I laugh as he starts walking the race. My bulbs are flying off left and right, leaving a little trail behind us. “You aren’t a lumberjack. Plus, it’s a full mile!”
“Smile!” someone says, and Jax angles me toward a camera, one of a local newspaper reporter, who says, “I see the caption now: Guy Gets His Tree.”
I give Jax a light smack. “We’re losing!”
He laughs and starts back walking again. The crowd is laughing and pointing at us. I know I’m beet red, but I give a few little waves in between hiding my face in my hands. Jax glances over his shoulder. “Doing okay back there?”
“I should be asking you that,” I say. “I had all that fruit this morning.”
He jiggles me a little. “Light as a feather.”
“Liar.” Playfully, his hand smacks my butt. “Jax Teigan, what on Earth has gotten into you?”
“Tis the season,” he says.
“For ass smacking?”
Gently, he puts me down. When my feet hit the pavement, his eyes are right on mine, his head tilted down. “For letting others know how we feel about them,” he says.
How he feels about me? How is that? I’m a chicken. I’m not going to ask. He simply flashes me that panty-dropping smile of his then whisks me off my feet again, only this time I’m cradled in his arms like he’s carrying me over the threshold.
Only it’s not a threshold like I wanted for years, but a finish line we are heading for. We don’t say anything else to each other while he carries me. Instead, I simply rest my head on his shoulder, admiring him. He really is a handsome man, but it’s more than the sexy stubble on his face or his killer blue eyes.
It’s his honesty. He feels something for me, and he says it.
No games. No wondering.
The entire crowd starts screaming as we approach the finish line. Bells are chiming, and fake snow falls all around us. He carries me across, giving me a sexy smile.
“Think we got last place,” I whisper.
But inside I feel like I just might have won something else—his heart.
*
What do you do when you suspect the friend of your ex wants to get in your panties?
You hide, of course.
That’s why as soon as we got back to Jax’s house, I came out to the beach to take a walk, needing to clear my head, my heart, and my libido. I have a broken heart, there’s no denying that. I’m attracted to Jax, there’s no denying that, either. There’s also no denying the confusion in my head.
There’s been something between Jax and me for as long as I can remember—something special. Something that I didn’t even share with Luke, and we’re just starting to get back to that.
That friendship.
What bullshit that is. Just because you’ve never had sex or kissed someone, that doesn’t mean you are “just friends.” It’s the desire that changes the friendship to more, not the act. The desire is definitely there, but I’m coming off a long-term relationship, and even if I wasn’t, would I want to be the reason that Luke and Jax aren’t friends anymore?
The answer to that is no.
Sitting down in the white sand and resting my head on my knees, I look down the beach. I have the place to myself. The beach is wide, the water vast, the sky unending, and I’m reminded how small I am, like a single grain of sand. So why does everything seem so huge right now?
I look out toward the horizon, where the blue sky meets the blue water. Two shades of the same color. That’s the perfect way to think about Jax and me, we are two shades of the same color. Luke and I were like complementary colors. We worked well together, but Jax and I are the horizon, where he ends I begin, and vice versa.
The timing is just so wrong. I’m not ready for anything serious right now. I’m not ready for anything meaningless, either. The only thing I know is that it’s Christmas, and I want to be happy.
Jax makes me feel happy.
Maybe it’s that simple?
CHAPTER SEVEN
JAX
In war as in love, there are rules of engagement. You have to know when to strike, know when to wait, know when to go in guns blazing.
Skylar is all alone on the beach. She looks beautiful sitting there in the white sand, but she’s staring at the water like she’s searching for something. Now is not the time to go in full throttle. Now’s the time to wait. I’d say most, if not all, women like to be pursued, but there’s an art to it. Too much and you come off pussy-whipped. Too little and she won’t feel desired. Both are equally dangerous. So I’ve got to play this right.
If I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it right. Some guys just don’t know how to love a woman. They’re either too scared or too selfish to do the job right. I think that’s why my rules have been successful. It’s basically a how-to guide on love.
The Gentleman’s Rules to loving a woman are simple. Here are a few:
Gentleman’s Rule—Make her feel desired.
She should never walk in a room without you acknowledging her. I’m not talking about glancing up from your phone, either. Get up off your ass, and give her a hug and a kiss. I don’t care if you’re busy or working. It takes less than a minute and will make her whole day. This is one of the smallest changes any couple can make in their relationship and reap huge benefits.
Gentleman’s Rule—Notice her.
It’s great to notice when she gets her hair done or has on a new outfit, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about noticing the little subtleties about her. Does she bite her lip when she’s stressed or perhaps when she’s horny? Does she stir her coffee before she drinks it? These are little clues she’s giving you about her mood. If she usually stirs her cup three times, and one morning she’s been stirring it for five minutes straight, then you know she’s off, and you can try to help. Which brings me to number three.
Gentleman’s Rule—Make her life easier, not harder.
Life is hard enough on its own, so if you can do something small each day to ease her load, why not do it? I’m not talking about big things, either. Women appreciate little details. They want to feel connected to you. Men, we want to have sex, lots of sex. Women want the connection first. How do they feel connected? By feeling understood. You don’t even have to get it right all the time. Just try, and you’ll be rewarded.
I think I’ve got the first two down with Skylar, but that last one is a little trickier. Her life would probably be easier right now if I didn’t pursue her, but I just can’t help myself. Waking up with her this morning sealed the deal. I need another fix.
Other than her dimple popping out, she didn’t respond to my carrying her over the finish line. We spent the rest of the day hanging out in town with Maci, Malcolm, and the twins. Skylar made sure to have at least one body between us at all times. I suppose you could think that’s her way of turning me down, but I know it’s her way of cooling herself down. The attraction between us is that obvious, and I’m sure she doesn’t want Maci asking questions, either.
A Gentleman for Christmas Page 5
