He was almost out the door, when Mel said, “Jimmy?”He looked back. “What?”
“Just how blind is my blind date?”
Jimmy looked skyward. “Why do I even try?”
“That’s what I was wondering.” Mel stuck her tongue out at him.
The door banged and he was gone.
“Frank is nice enough,” Norm said. “You’ll have a nice time.” He hesitated. “I’m surprised you didn’t run this morning.”
In a way, she’d been running for days, but she couldn’t tell him that.
“I’m taking a break, at least for today.”
“How do you feel about walking? I need to do my mile.”
Mel smiled. “Walking I can always do, if it’s with my favorite g—uy.”
Still couldn’t manage a grandpa.
* * * * *
The street outside looked similar to her last homecoming, though in some ways more alive. There was still the odd Halloween bat blowing from the odd tree, and there was the nip of an incoming snow fall in the air, but like Gran and Norm’s house, the street looked more modern, less dead-end than it had. Mel had checked her cell phone and now knew she’d landed home a day before her meeting with Jack in the future-past. Or was that past-future?
She’d checked the mail while she waited for Norm to get his coat and hat on, but there’d been no private and personal envelope for her this time. And since she now lived in New York and visited here, that made sense.
Norm had had the film with the pictures in his foot locker. Had he ever gotten them developed? Gran was almost finished with the bomber group history. She didn’t have a lot of time to work on it, since they paid regular visits to their children scattered across the country.
But, she realized, no one had ever mentioned a female reporter being in the plane when it went down. And she couldn’t ask him about it because she wasn’t supposed to know about it.
On the front step, he offered her his elbow. With a feeling of delight, Mel accepted the offer. It was how they always walked, but it felt like the first time, too. The little street went two ways, but they always walked toward the park.
Norm was silent and Mel didn’t mind. There were all sorts of mine fields in talking until she got the two pasts sorted out. And she was suffering from another case of time shock. Just like her arrival in England, she felt…whammed. She was happy. She was heartbroken.
She didn’t want to go on a date tonight.
It didn’t take long to reach the little park. It still surprised her how small it looked, now that she was all grown up. The park looked drab and forlorn, all done in brown and yellow. There was a breeze, but it had nothing to ruffle but the edges of Mel’s hair as they strolled along the exercise path. They did one complete circuit in silence before Norm broke the silence by clearing his throat, a prelude to speaking.
“Did I ever tell you about the reporter I met in the war?”
Mel couldn’t stop a slight jerk at his words. “No, you didn’t.”
“She had a tat just like yours. A temporary tat, that’s what she called it.”
Mel didn’t know what to say, so she didn’t say anything.
“Funny, haven’t thought about her in a long time.” His gaze turned distant and reflective. “Her name was Melanie, same as yours. Fact is, I suggested your name to your dad and mom. She had guts, that one and lots of sass. Like you.”
“Really?” Where was he going with this?
“She flew with us the day we were shot down…and I never saw her again after that.” He reached inside his coat jacket and pulled out a photo and handed it to her.
Mel knew what it was, but she looked down at the faded picture anyway, a lump rising large and painful in her throat. There they all were. Jack, Ric, Lours, Fitz, Bennie, Larsen, Harry and Roy, Sam, and the Ram, And there she was, in the corner. He had saved the film. He had gotten it developed. She wanted to touch Jack’s face, but she didn’t. And she still didn’t know what to say. The only thing she did know, she couldn’t lie to him.
“Why didn’t you ever say anything about her?” That was a nice, neutral question.
“I’m not really sure.” He frowned a bit. “At first, it was to protect her. We saw three chutes come out after us. I figured one of them might be her. The Germans didn’t know she was a woman. We thought it might give her a chance to get away. This colonel asked me a lot of questions right before we were transported to our camp. Never could figure out what he wanted, but he wasn’t getting it from me.”
He sounded so fierce and Mel had to smile. He was quiet for several steps and Mel thought maybe that was it, but it wasn’t.
“I half expected to see her after the war, but, well, after a while I figured she hadn’t made it. Not her or…Jack.”
Mel couldn’t stop her body jerking again.
“Always had the feeling they had feelings for each other.” He stopped walking and looked at her for the first time. “Always thought you had a bit of a crush on him, too.”
Mel managed a smile that felt a bit on the lame side. “Yeah, I guess I kind of did. He…” she had to swallow that lump to finish, “saved your life up there.”
“He was a good man.”
They started walking again.
“I still miss him.”
I do, too, she wanted to say. She clamped her lips tight.
Mel thought about her tat. Five days of lye soap had almost erased it from her skin. Almost…she wished the same for her memory…almost…
But he deserved to be remembered. Maybe, eventually, instead of blocking her from caring about anyone else, her feelings for him could be a spring board to a relationship that was actually possible.
In the olden days, women had one year of strict mourning. She’d allow herself the year and no more. She smiled half-heartedly to herself, because that was all that was left of her heart. No one dies of a broken heart, she reminded herself, except her mother, or at least, that was the way the story went.
She’d been angry about it, she realized, almost her whole life. Why hadn’t her mother loved her enough to live? Her chin lifted. You took your knocks, but you kept going, like Gran…at least that’s how she’d done it when she’d lost Norm.
Mel couldn’t say she’d never love again, but right now, it didn’t seem possible. Jack had dominated the horizon of her heart since she was a little girl, one way or another. She thought about the way he’d looked the first time she’d seen him back then. He’d be a hard act for any other man to follow.
“I’ve been having,” Norm broke the long silence, “—the strangest thoughts.”
Mel opened her mouth, but closed it again. She couldn’t even say grandpa, let alone ask him what he meant. He might just tell her.
“Why would you and she have the same tat? How is that possible? They didn’t have temporary tats back then.”
“Really?” The word squeaked out her throat. Grandpa seemed to be firmly stuck there. Grandpa. Grandpa. Grandpa. Grandpa. Norm.
Mel peeked at him. He looked worried. She knew what he was feeling, like he’d gone crazy. He knew…but he didn’t or couldn’t believe it.
“Maybe it’s not really like mine…” Mel said, when the silence got too long.
“Well, let’s see.” He pulled out more photos, this more recent. It was a blow up of just her, with The Time Machine’s nose art by her head. The other was of her tat.
He stopped, staring at her with a kind, steady gaze. Mel didn’t want to expose her wrist, but she’d been doing what he told her all of this life. She pulled her sleeve back and held it up. He held the photo up next to it.
“Exactly alike.” He held the photo up next to her face. “She looks like you, too.”
She stared at him. She didn’t have to say anything. He knew her, he’d helped raise her this time around. He could read it in her eyes.
“How is that possible?” He suddenly looked so frail. She led him to a bench.
“It’s all right there,” Mel
said. “On the fuselage of Jack’s plane.”
Norm stared at it for some more long beats of her heart. “Not a book?” Mel shook her head. “An actual…?” Mel nodded. “But…why—” He stiffened. “Not a nightmare?”
“Not a nightmare.”
He looked pale and drawn. Gran was going to kill her. Mel covered his gloves hands with hers and gripped them.
“I’m glad I can finally tell you,” Her voice shook a little, “how very proud I am of you. Thank you for what you did for me, for everyone. You were amazing.”
“Me? You could have been killed.”
Mel twitched and hoped he didn’t notice. He did.
“Honey girl…” His tone was an order.
She shrugged. “Apparently it did kill me one time.”
“How many times have you done…it?”
Mel shrugged. “Only twice that I know of, but I only remember the one time.”
He took a few minutes to process this.
“Makes my head ache thinking about it.”
“No kidding.” She was quiet for a minute. “I killed someone, Norm. A German officer. I just shot him.”
“It was war. You did what needed to be done.”
“But it wasn’t my war. And I keep wondering what it changed.”
“You can’t change it now, honey girl. Can’t put spilled milk back in the carton.”
Not without doing it all over again, she amended, not something she really wanted to do.
He shivered. Mel patted his arm.
“Let’s go home. You’ll catch a chill and Gran will blame me.”
He nodded and got to his feet, offering his arm again. Mel took it and they headed for home. They were almost there before he spoke again.
“So…you and Jack…?”
Mel sighed. “Yeah.”
“Do you know…?”
“I don’t know where he is.”
Another silence.
“I’d like to see him again.”
“Yeah…me, too.”
Chapter Nineteen
One Year Later
Mel finished with her earrings and stepped back for a last look in the oval mirror affixed to the vanity. She still felt those so-glad-to-be-wearing-comfortable-clothes moments, even after a year in the twenty-first century. The jeans were soft and supple and the bright red cashmere sweater a make-Mel-happy self-gift, was amazing. Mel was almost back to normal, if she didn’t look too deeply into her own eyes. But today was an anniversary of sorts, the self-imposed end of her mourning period. And, just like a year ago, she had a blind date, courtesy of Jimmy. She didn’t feel ready, but feelings could change, she reminded her reflection.
She’d come a long way, baby since being flung back into her life. There’d been a lot of rumors when she chose not to renew her contract with BrightLine Weekly. Her producer had resorted to weeping, wailing and even gnashing his teeth, but Mel stood firm—and then found herself adrift in a sea of uncertainty as she tried to figure out what she did want to do, now that she’d grown up. She closed her New York apartment and moved home. Since she’d spent most of her time working, she had the money set aside to take a year off. But too much free time left her vulnerable to thinking and out of thinking came longings. She had a couple of offers from news organizations still on the table, but if she waited much longer, she’d be older than old news
While she tried to decide what to do, she’d tried to keep busy. She’d helped Gran with the bomber group memoirs and worked with some of their sons in restoring an actual B-17 bomber. They were almost finished and hoped to take it to some air shows next spring. That had been the best, being back inside a bomber. It didn’t make sense. It’s not like her time in the air had been fun, but Jack felt closer during those times, just out of her reach…but there.
It was still a struggle, and not just because she still yearned for Jack. She’d become, she’d realized, a bit of an adrenaline junkie. She missed the excitement and the variety of not crying uncle. And she missed the company of this new generation of heroes, but she kept her promise, to herself and to Norm. The most dangerous thing she did was learning to snow board with Jimmy and Blanca.
Norm, the only one who knew the truth, had done what he could to protect her from the match-making efforts of her large and loving extended family, but she’d made herself go on a few dates. She didn’t enjoy them and she was pretty sure her dates didn’t either. She still couldn’t call Norm “grandpa.” Gran had finally quit commenting on it, and since some of the great grandkids had picked up the habit, it wasn’t as noticeable as it had been.
She didn’t know if her inability to fix on a new career was real indecision or that part of her still hoped she’d run into Jack. It was probably the latter, she admitted to herself. She’d been waiting for him her whole life. What was a year? Just an eternity to the waiting heart…
It might have been easier if she’d seen him die, instead of disappearing. There was a tiny part of her that kept hoping she’d catch up with him somewhere, but for all she knew, he’d been flung back in time. Hope. The truth was, she’d lived on it for the past year, but it was time to put that particular hope in her hope-less chest and get on with the rest of her life. How long could she wait for an out-of-time man to find her? Her heart said forever. Her brain wanted her to get a life.
Hence the blind date with Jimmy’s friend. Luckily, this time she wasn’t dreading the whole Blanca thing. They weren’t destined to be bosom buddies, but Mel didn’t dislike her and could see why Jimmy did like her. Gran had warmed up, too, which was a good thing, since they’d started talking about making it official.
Mel didn’t begrudge them some nuptials. She’d kind of had hers. She even had a copy of the wedding register they’d signed. She’d gone back to that little village in France, hoping to see something familiar, but sixty years and a daylight view had left her wishing she’d left well enough alone.
It was great to know that the village survived. The old priest had died peacefully in his bed close to the end of the war. Mouy and his friends hadn’t survived that night, but they had accomplished their mission. She was pretty sure the man she’d killed was Kass, which helped some.
Thorhaus had more than lived up to his place in history. This time, instead of presiding over a massacre, he’d saved many lives. He’d still died by a firing squad, but without the asterisk by his name.
Mel had tried to find out more about the night vision goggles she’d brought back with her, but had quickly outrun her contacts. She wasn’t an investigative reporter and couldn’t explain why she needed to know who had purchased the low tech goggles. So they were also tucked away in her hopeless chest.
She sighed. She didn’t want to go out tonight but life was full of things you did because you should, not because you wanted to. Wisdom from the book of Gran.
A light tap on the door was a welcome distraction from her tangled thoughts.
“Come on in.”
Gran entered, moving stiffly. This winter had been harder on her aging joints than the last and Mel was glad she’d been around to help. Gran lowered herself onto the bed and then gave Mel a thorough once over. Mel turned in a circle for her benefit.
“You look nice,” she finally pronounced. “I’m glad you’re getting out.”
Mel looked at her. Was there a question in there? Mel could remember a time when it had only been her and Gran. Had she reveled so much in having Norm around that she’d left Gran out?
Mel sat down by her, looping an arm around her shoulder. “Am I wearing out my welcome?”
Gran gave her an affronted look. “This is your home.”
“Yeah, but it was yours first. I’ve just loved being here with you and Norm, while I figured things out.”
Gran started to open her mouth, then closed it.
“Then what is wrong?”
Her gnarled hands moved restlessly for a few moments.
“You’re a grown up. I vowed I wouldn’t pry.”
&nb
sp; Her feelings were hurt, Mel realized. She’d thought about telling her what happened, but it was such a wild tale, she didn’t know how to begin. Norm tapped on the door, and then peeked around it. She met his gaze with a question and got a slight but decided nod in return. He came in and shut the door, settling in the chair across from them.
“I should have told you, Gran. I’ve been a bit clueless.”
“More than a bit,” she said, tartly. “There’s nothing you could tell me I wouldn’t understand. Or that would change my love for you.”
Mel looked at Norm. He was trying not to grin. She gave him annoyed look and he tried a little harder not to look amused but not enough.
“I guessed some of it, of course,” Gran said. “I’m not a fool or blind.” She hesitated, worry written large across her face and in her eyes. “Was he…married?”
“No!” Mel didn’t hesitate, because she didn’t have to.
Gran looked relieved. Then she looked mad. “If he didn’t have the sense to love you, honey child, then he’s not worth grieving over.”
“Oh, Gran,” Mel leaned against her. “I do love you.”
“Maybe you should just tell her who you’re pining for. That would speed things up.”
Or give Gran a heart attack.
Gran got an I thought so look. Then her eyes widened. “A…another woman?” She tried to look PC, but she was from the wrong century for it.
Mel smiled. “That might have been easier to deal with.” Mel looked down, took a deep breath and looked Gran directly in the eyes. “I’m in love with Jack Hamilton, Gran, you know, Norm’s Jack. The captain of The Time Machine.”
Gran leaned back a little, a slight frown pulling her brows together. She looked at Norm, who nodded encouragingly.
“You’re in love with a…dead…old guy?”
Mel kind of shrugged. “Actually, he might not be dead. Or old.” She’d merged with her life the way she was in the past. It was possible, if Jack had been hurled into the future, that he had, too. She had no clue what effect his disappearance in the past, would have had had on the future.
Out of Time Page 30
