by Amy Marie
Me: I need you.
“That son of a BITCH!” Noelle yells, as she plops down on the leather couch. “After all the two of you have been through how could he do that to you?”
I am shaking uncontrollably and can’t stop replaying the events of the past hour over and over again in my head. After Noelle responded to my text, I can’t remember anything else. I am lucky to have made it home. She was already here when I arrived, with a bottle of tequila opened and waiting. She knows me so well!
Noelle is right to say Robert and I have been through a lot. Some of the toughest times either of us has gone through have been over the past few years. Robert lost both his parents in a drunk driving accident 4 years ago. I held his hand from the minute he found out until the caskets were lowered into the cold December ground. We’ve even mourned a miscarriage together. Although it wasn’t a planned pregnancy, it was a child, and we were very excited about the prospect of starting a family. My dad passed away last year from lung cancer even though he didn’t smoke a day in his short 55 years. It hit me pretty hard and Robert was there to help me pick up the pieces. The two of us went from scared, early twenty something’s, looking to start a life for ourselves, to an established teacher and architect with the world at our feet. It tears me up inside to think the whole relationship ended because Robert thought we weren’t compatible in the bedroom.
We waited a year after we became exclusive before I gave him the most sacred gift I could give; my virginity. My mother taught me from my early teen years that I didn’t necessarily have to be married but that I should choose carefully and give it to someone I love. After 12 months I was sure that Robert and I were going to be together forever. I guess I was naïve to think that sex was about making love, and showing the other person how much you care about and trust them.
When I really think about it, I should have seen the signs. After college graduation we were lucky enough to find jobs near my hometown. Robert insisted that we didn’t move in together noting that we should leave something for when we got married. I agreed, wanting a chance to explore my independence. I bought a house with Noelle and he got an apartment. Once that happened things changed drastically. I didn’t see Robert as much. I attributed it to his new job and working late. I guess he was working alright. Every time I called the office directly Anna would answer and I would never be able to get to him. According to her he was always busy.
Last December I had become suspicious when I found them coming out of his office. She looked as though a tornado had whipped through her hair and he was adjusting his suit. I never brought it up, trusting that he was faithful to me. It seems love truly is blind.
“Erin, maybe this is the best thing that could’ve happened to you,” Noelle says, bringing me back from my thoughts. “I know you loved him...that probably won’t ever go away but he was a real douche. He never wanted you to go out and have fun with your friends and you were so hesitant when I wanted to plan a trip to Cozumel this summer, just the two of us. Maybe it’s time to start being selfish and do things for you. There are no kids to hold you back, no one to answer to, and 90 days of paid vacation. It’s time to live and it starts with booking our trip!” She grows more animated with each sentence, practically jumping up off the couch. I guess I’m glad someone is happy about the break up.
I’m not happy at all. I just want to sulk until the pain goes away, if it ever will. Is it wrong to want to finish this bottle of tequila or eat my 130 pound weight in cookie dough? Thinking of all the “fun things” we can do is not something I’m currently focused on. But if I know Noelle, and I do, she is going to push and push until I give in.
“Let me think about it,” I say, clumsily making my way up from my comfortable position on the recliner. I watch her face fall, but I can’t be concerned with that right now... I need another shot.
~~
“Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!” Noelle’s sing song voice sounds like she is talking into a bullhorn directly next to my ear. Did I mention that she NEVER gets a hangover? Whereas, I have 4 shots of tequila and I can’t function the next day.
“I don’t think my stomach can handle eggs and bakey at this moment,” I say covering my head with the comforter and praying that she goes away.
“Ok! Well I just wanted to put your credit card back in your purse. You don’t need to be awake for that. I know where it goes.” Her ramblings sound muffled through the blanket.
Now I’m up! Her nonchalant announcement has me throwing my blankets off and squinting to find her in the brightly lit room. When my eyes adjust she is closing my wallet back up.
“My credit card? Why did you need my credit card, Noelle?” I’m seeing red. She never goes through my personal stuff without asking.
“So you won’t change your mind.” She shrugs like it’s not a big deal and continues, “I just finalized plans. We’re going to Cozumel in July!”
My mouth drops open and I’m sure my face has turned from a creamy pale peach to fire engine red.
“Tell me you’re joking, Noelle! I swear if you aren’t kidding me then I will NEVER speak to you again.”
She hesitates at the door and turns her body back around to face me. The glare from her crystal blue eyes tells me she is going into “take no crap” mode.
“Erin Melissa Decker. You have six weeks to get over it and start talking to me. I could care less if you mope around until then but that boy, and I say boy because he is NOT a man, has held you back from living your life for the past five years. You need some fun and I’m going to make sure that you have it, whether you want to or not! So, put your big girl panties on and suck it up because we’re going and that’s final!” She whips her long blonde hair around, walks out, and slams my door.
“YES, MOMMY DEAREST!” I yell through the closed door and stalk to the bathroom, hangover almost forgotten. What greets me in the mirror is nothing short of scary. Mascara is caked on my tear streaked face from the previous night’s endless sobs. I remember that in my hasty search to find my bed and not the floor last night, I didn’t take my make up off. Taking a deep breath I brave a second look and really focus on what Noelle said.
As much as I hate to admit it she is right...again. Robert controlled my every move. My last year of college was spent practically glued to his side. If I wanted to go out alone he was always threatening to break up with me. The trip to Cozumel was something Noelle and I had wanted to do since the end of last summer when a friend of ours talked about the amazing snorkeling adventures she’d had. There was no discussing it with Robert. He had said no. I’ve always wanted to do a lot of traveling and being a teacher allows me the time. Plus, I hadn’t done all that hard work paying off my student loans and never maxing out my credit cards for nothing! Screw him! I’ve decided I’m going, to spite him, even if only after the fact. This summer is going to be life changing. I can just feel it!
I still need to go and clean out my classroom so I wash my make up off and prepare to get in the shower. Then, as if Robert leaving me wasn’t bad enough I notice that I got my monthly visitor.
Damn it!
Well at least the cheating bastard didn’t get me pregnant.
~~
My life changing summer wasn’t off to a great start. I was planning to spend day one post breakup cleaning and packing up my room at school and ignoring Noelle after I arrived home. I know I said she was right, but the woman didn’t flinch when she charged a $550 flight and $400 for a hotel room, plus excursions, on my credit card. So if my share of the mortgage is a little late, well then that’s fine with me. I’ll just have to pay that off with my next check.
~~
On day three I tell Noelle she had had me at “get your big girl panties on.” We laugh about the whole thing and since it is the 1st of June I also take care of the trip expenses with my first summer paycheck.
~~
Day five I decide to collect all my belongings from Robert’s apartment. I haven’t heard from him, not that I expec
ted to, and decide to let myself in using the key he gave me to gain entry. I walk in with Noelle at my side. Armed with her same “screw him” attitude it doesn’t take me long to get all of my things packed up and leave his key on the kitchen counter with a note saying I’ve been there and to continue on with no contact. A text came in later that day.
Robert: Came home to all of your stuff gone. I miss you Er-Bear. Let’s talk.
Me: Go to HELL!
Less than a week shouldn’t be enough time to get over such a long term relationship but I knew it was done. I had given him a lot of my firsts but someone else was going to get my lasts...and my bests.
~~
Over the last week or so I have been lounging around the house reading a book, hitting up the beach to work on my tan and avoiding my mother’s calls. With no boyfriend and no job I am starting to get cabin fever and Noelle can tell.
“You’re like a dog,” she says. “I come home from work and you’re at the door ready to hump my leg and lick my face.” Noelle laughs, as she walks back to her room, most likely putting her briefcase down exactly where she likes it.
She works as an event planner for a well known establishment in town and it’s perfect for her. Her boss Lisa wouldn’t know what to do without Noelle. When Lisa forgets something or needs a task done Noelle is the one she turns to. She was once told she was Lisa’s better half and has been known to be mine. I’m sure part of it is her mad organizational skills, which I’m also sure, stems from her being so precise about everything. It definitely keeps her very busy.
“That’s not nice, Noe.” I say following her into her room. Then, shaking my head I realize I am acting like a dog. “I just miss you is all.”
“Go get dressed Erin. We’re going out.”
Her voice carries out from her bathroom as she is taking her work clothes off and throwing them in her hamper.
“I don’t want...”
She comes out of the bathroom in her bra and panties and interrupts me by pinching my lips between her thumb and forefinger.
“Shut it! We need to go out, have some drinks and relax. I’ve let you mope long enough. It’s time to have some fun and maybe get laid! It’s been like 3 weeks for me.”
Three weeks is a long time for Noelle. She STILL rocks all the hot genes. Blonde hair, blue eyes, and perky little breasts all perfectly put together on her 5 foot 6 athletic frame. I guess she’s earned it after countless spin classes.
“Fine! Pick out my clothes!” I say around her fingers, which are still pinching my mouth closed. I won’t try to deny her requests any longer. I do need to get out. The getting laid part though, not happening.
Two hours later I am staring at what can only be described as an illusion. I try to take pride in how I look but Noelle has transformed me into an unrecognizable woman that even I would switch teams for. My short brown hair has been curled and my bangs, which I’m trying to grow out, are braided to the side. The metallic gray eye shadow and black eyeliner on my lids make my brown eyes pop and smolder. Now for some very red lips and lengthening mascara and I’m almost complete. The little black dress she chose for me hugs me in all the right places. It’s an A-line strapless pleated dress that lies across my mid thighs. Just short enough that I look sexy but I can still bend over without flashing my lacey boy shorts. The whole outfit is finished off with silver wedge shoes that have a strap around the ankle. For the first time in a long time I feel beautiful.
“You look hot, Erin. You are definitely going to get some tonight!” Noelle winks and pulls me out the front door.
“That isn’t happening,” I say, letting her drag me into a waiting taxi cab.
McKinley’s is packed from wall to wall and the dance floor looks like it’s one big orgy with sweaty bodies grinding on one another. The heat from outside seems like fall compared to the temperature inside. Thankful, in this sauna, for the small scrap of material that I call a dress, I push my way through the crowd and over to the bar where drunken patrons are waiting three and four people deep. Noelle and I decided on our earlier cab ride over that we would let it all go and just have fun. I hoped I had made it clear there would be absolutely no sexual encounters of any kind where I was concerned. She just raised an eyebrow at me.
“What’ll you have sweet thing?” I’m asked by the over confident mixologist after fifteen minutes of being groped by drunk people in line.
“Two shots of tequila and a couple of Jack and Cokes,” Noelle calls from over my shoulder. It’s not difficult considering that even in 3 inch wedges she towers over my 5 foot 3 frame. I’m borderline vertically challenged.
Handing the $40 in cash over to Mr. Cocky she takes in my “what the hell” face. “What, Erin?” Noelle asks.
“I thought we were going to take it easy and just have a good time. I don’t want to get trashed in the first hour we are here,” I say as the bartender places the shots in front of us with our change. Noelle leaves the money on the bar and hands me my shot.
“We are! This is just to start us in the right direction.” Her glass meets mine with a clink. “To looking for Mr. Right while having fun with all the Mr. Wrongs!” She says as I roll my eyes.
~~
My body isn’t used to this much alcohol. The few glasses of wine I normally drink don’t have me in the middle of a dance “orgy” without remembering how I got there. Sweat is dripping down my neck and tickling the space between my breasts. After the third round of drinks, bought by three different men just wanting to get in my pants, I feel relaxed yet out of control. Noelle is nowhere to be found and in my drunken state I’m not even the least bit concerned about it. The music has taken over my body and I can feel myself letting go of all the stress and anxiety that Robert has caused me. I don’t care who is watching because at this moment I feel like the sexiest person in here.
With my eyes closed I rub my hands along my hips all the way to my hair, pulling it off my neck into a makeshift ponytail. The beat of the music moves through me like an electric wave. When a cool puff of air passes over the back of my neck it feels like water in the Sahara. Larger hands than I’ve ever felt before unexpectedly come around my waist and pull me back into a rock hard chest. My breathing becomes more ragged as the mystery man whispers in my ear.
“Are you hot, baby?” He asks, his hot breath sending shivers down my spine.
My senses are on high alert and despite the fact that I haven’t a clue what he looks like, those four words turn me on instantly. If his voice can do that to me I’d love to see what his enormous hands are capable of. Our bodies connect and sway to the music as his mouth continues to hover just above my shoulder causing tingles to radiate through my body. I can feel his lips grazing the crease of my neck and when he nips my skin my knees go weak. My head falls back involuntarily giving him more access to continue his sensual assault. He smells delicious, and the soft suctioning kisses he places up my neck cause me to moan in anticipation. I have to see the man who is releasing all my inhibitions.
Reluctantly I turn my heated body around feeling the loss of his soft lips, but what I’m rewarded with is a vision of godliness. Standing at what appears to be well over six feet tall is the most panty-dropping specimen that I have ever laid my eyes upon. I should have turned around sooner! His plain black t-shirt hugs every single slender muscle in his sexy ass arms. The faded blue jeans he wears are snug, even more so where his zipper lies, showing me how much he is turned on. His dark brown hair is a styled mess; short on the sides but longer up top. I can’t help but wonder what it would feel like to grab hold of it and tug. Hard. A grin flashes across his face, as if he’s read my mind, and I see a hint of just one dimple on the right side of his mouth. His green eyes appear hungry as they shamelessly take me in from my toes to my own starving eyes. I swallow hard and try to catch my breath.
“I thought you looked good from behind but damn if you don’t look heavenly from this angle,” he says loudly, over the music.
He grabs both of my
hands, circling them around his neck. With our height difference my forehead falls into his chest perfectly, as if we are two pieces of a puzzle. I try to control my breathing; the alcohol is coursing through my veins now. Freeing my hands from their hold, they find their way down and softly graze over his pecs and then the ripple of his abs. They falter as they come in contact with not a six pack but, a ...1,2,3,... eight pack! I see his chest rising and falling rapidly. I think he must be as turned on by me as I am by him. Impossible.
His hands caress my body as we dance. I feel heat gathering at my center, and not from the dance floor. Robert never had this affect on me from barely a touch. If the setting was a bedroom and not a bar I wouldn’t hesitate to strip this man down and do things to him Robert only dreamed I would do. His loss. Robert was wrong. I’m amazing in bed.
Maybe I’ve been going about this the wrong way. Why should I wait to be in love? Clearly that doesn’t seem to mean a damn thing. Why can’t I just ask this man to take me home and have his way with me? I can, but then I realize I’ve said nothing to the amazing masterpiece that is, from what I can feel, very well equipped.
Hazy thoughts run through my head about the first words I should say to him. Tell him my name. Ask him what he does. Anything but what actually leaves my tequila infused brain and comes out of my mouth. I stand on my tip toes and say into his ear, “I caught my ex screwing his secretary from behind and he told me it was because I’m not adventurous enough in bed.”
Holy shit! I’m way too tipsy. My face burns with embarrassment and I am thankful for the dimly lit dance floor.
He looks at me like what I said makes no sense and runs his finger along my lips. “What’s your name pretty girl?”
“Sally,” I blurt out. There is no way in hell he is getting my real name with that pick up line. Even if I am drunk.
“Sally, huh?” He asks in a way that makes me think he knows I’ve lied. “Well ‘Sally’, my name is Walker. Would you like to come back to my hotel room and see what kind of adventures I can take you on?” His mouth is a breath away from mine.
