by Amy Marie
“Oh no. After Erin thanked God in Heaven for you not getting her pregnant she came and jumped right on my train. I heard you said she wasn’t adventurous. I’m assuming she saved it all up for me because I’ve never had so much amazing fucking sex in my life. That baby is most definitely mine, so you can take your pussy ass, and get the fuck out before you physically can’t,” Walker threatens with veins popping out of his neck.
A wave of dizziness overtakes me and I whimper, causing Walker to center his concentration on me. Robert uses the distraction to pull his hand back and swing.
“Walker!” I scream, warning him just before it comes in contact with his stomach.
He hunches over for a brief moment before he swings his leg around knocking Robert back to the ground.
“GET THE FUCK OUT, OR I CALL THE FUCKING POLICE!” Walker kicks him in the ribs as he lays there.
Groaning, Robert stands up and runs to the door as fast as his weak body will carry him. I walk to the edge of the table and bend at the waist hoping the nausea subsides, but it doesn’t. Walker’s strong arms pick me up taking me to the couch and placing me down gingerly.
“You ok, baby? I’m so sorry about that. He deserved it though.” He glides his hand up and down the cheek not pressed to the couch cushion.
“I’m dizzy and my head has been killing me for days. I don’t feel well,” I say while basking in his soft touch.
“I’m sure all of that didn’t help. Let me go get dressed and I’ll lie with you. We can watch a movie.”
He stands and walks out of the living room. A few minutes later he is back by my side with a granola bar and orange juice.
“You should eat something. It’s already 8 o’clock.” He pushes the wrapper of the bar down and hands it to me.
I slowly sit up and take the glass from him as well. The coldness feels great going down my throat, but it’s not helping with the headache or the reason I feel like I went on a Tilt-A -Whirl.
“Better?” He asks when I finish both.
I shake my head side to side. “Do you think we should call the doctor?”
“I don’t know baby. Do you think it’s that serious?”
The door flies open and I jump to my feet thinking Robert has come back.
It’s a very tipsy Noelle.
“Hey love birds! Did I interrupt a good old shagging on the couch again?” Her blonde hair is pulled into a messy bun on the side of her head, telling me how far gone she is.
She needs to look perfect at all times. Hair and makeup need to look like perfection.
“Uhm, no,” I answer as Walker tries to sit me back down. “I need to go to the bathroom.”
“You just missed Robert, Noelle,” Walker tells her while holding my arm up, guiding me to the hallway.
“Are you kidding me? Oh my God I totally would have punched him in the face, but then I wouldn’t want to get blood on the carpet.” She looks down at the floor lovingly.
I roll my eyes and push Walker’s hand off me. “I got it.”
“I did get a few in for you, Noe,” he proudly admits. “And look, no blood.”
They both laugh and I join in, but something starts to not feel right.
“Walker?”
“Yea, baby?” He is back at my side.
The last thing I remember is falling and Noelle screaming.
~~
A beeping sound gently coaxes me out of a peaceful nights rest. With my eyes still closed I try to feel around for my cell phone but I can barely move my fingers.
“Are you ok Walker?” An unfamiliar female voice can be heard.
Who the hell is that and why is she in my bedroom?
“No Deliah. I’m not.” Walker’s strained words come out just above a whisper.
His sister is here?
“I’m so sorry to the both of you for your loss,” Noelle cries from my left side.
Why are they all in here? What loss?
Oh God.
My baby.
I try to scramble to get up but I feel weighed down and my arms and feet won’t budge. I will my eyes to open just a sliver and find Walker on the right side of the bed with his head on my hands, and a beautiful brunette, who I know from pictures is his sister Deliah, stands above him rubbing over his back.
“Her eyes are opening up,” Deliah says halting her comforting touch on Walker.
“Erin. Want me to get your mom? She is in the cafeteria getting coffee.” Noelle’s face is close to mine but I’m looking at Walker whose eyes are blood shot red.
“Walker,” I call out still trying to reach for him. “Walker.”
“How do you feel baby? Are you ok?” His grip tightens on my fingers to the point where they begin to tingle. Tears fall down his face. My fears are confirmed.
“Oh no. Walker, tell me it’s not true. What happened?” I do what I can to make the words louder.
More of his tears fall and his body is taken over with loud sobs.
I’m so sorry to the both of you for your loss.
“Noelle. Tell me! Tell me I didn’t lose her! What happened?” I can finally raise my voice and Walker’s eyes meet mine.
He stands up, wiping his tears on his sleeve and sits on the edge of the bed.
Deliah speaks up but her eyes are as glazed over as Walker’s. “You got dizzy at home. You fell and hit your head before Walker could get to you. They did some tests and they think you might have gestational hypertension. It can lead to preeclampsia, but nothing to worry about just yet. They are running a few other tests just to be sure it’s nothing else.”
“But the baby is ok?” My voice is shaking with the hope that she is fine.
“Yes.” Walker finally speaks.
I look to Noelle again. “But you said you were sorry for our loss. I heard that. Or didn’t I?”
I scrunch my face trying to remember if I did.
Noelle clears her throat looking to Walker and shaking her head.
“My mom,” Walker starts. “She was in a car accident this morning. She didn’t make it. Noelle was talking to Deliah and me.”
My body shakes as my emotions take over. “Walker I am so sorry. Oh my God.”
It was his mother and I feel selfish for being glad it wasn’t the baby. I feel terrible that he is here with me and he should be on his way to Michigan.
“You need to go. You need to be with your Dad.” I start to sit up but he keeps me still.
“Don’t worry yourself right now, baby. We need to get you and the little one healthy first and then I can see about heading up there,” he says.
“Walker, I can take care of her. You won’t have to worry about her. You can go,” Noelle tries to suggest.
“No!” He yells.
“Calm down,” Deliah says, coming up next to the bed. “We don’t need to put more stress on her.”
“I’m sorry Noelle, but no. I need to be by her side. I won’t leave this hospital without them. They are my life.” His eyes plead with Noelle as if he thinks she could make him leave.
“I understand.” She looks at me and walks towards the doorway. “I’ll go get your mom.”
Deliah steps forward offering her hand out to me. It feels frail, lifting it up, but I manage to make contact with a quick shake. “I’m Deliah. It’s nice to finally meet you, though the circumstances kinda suck.”
“Nice to meet you too. My condolences about your mother. I am thankful to have met her,” I say, saddened, as I realize that she will never meet her granddaughter.
The nurse comes in checking my vitals and telling me she will go to let the doctor know I’m up. Deliah says her goodbye and leaves Walker and me alone.
“You scared me,” he says kissing my forehead before sitting down in the chair he pushed up against my bed. Tears stained on his face.
“So, I hit my head?” I ask, rubbing the tender spot just above my ear.
“You did and I was cursing myself the entire time in the ambulance for not catching you. I’m supposed
to be there when you fall.” He shakes his head in disappointment.
“Well you’re always there when I need you and you were there when I fell in love. That’s what matters. And now, with what has happened with your mom...it’s my turn to be there for you.” My hands glide through his longer than usual brown hair.
His head falls down to the side of my belly and he starts crying again. I continue to rub his head, neck and back until it seems he has fallen asleep.
A few minutes later the doctor comes in with the nurse and my mother not far behind. After my mom’s crying stops the doctor tells me that all my tests came out okay and I should start to feel better soon. He states that I’m showing a few symptoms of preeclampsia including headache and dizziness. He will be sending my hospital visit information to Dr. Gale and to follow up with him in a week.
My mom and nurse leave to get my discharge papers and a wheelchair as Walker collects my belongings.
“What was your mom’s middle name?” I ask, attempting to sit up on my own.
Curious he stops what he is doing and says, “Grace. Why?”
“Savannah Grace? That’s a beautiful name Walker. What do you think about giving the baby her name?”
My palms are sweaty. I don’t know if he is going to be upset with the suggestion.
“Erin. Besides my daughter, that is the greatest gift you could give me.”
My heart is breaking for Walker. In our short time together I have never seen him this way. Sullen and quiet is far from normal for him. He is, next to Noelle, one of the most outgoing people I know. Sitting in the car with him for the last two hours as we drive towards Michigan feels awkward, with barely any words spoken between us.
As I stare out the window, watching the landscape roll by, I think about how I had to fight both my mother and Walker to be able to go with him. They felt that I needed to rest, but I was adamant about being there for support. The doctor even reassured them that I was just fine to travel. My mother, resting in the backseat, was our compromise to ensure that if Walker needs to be somewhere I will always have someone watching me and Savannah.
I loved the name and my mom was thrilled. Her eyes started to water a tiny bit when she returned to the hospital room and we told her.
The silence in the car made the drive up here seem to take forever, and when we arrived, Walker’s dad was sitting on the porch with his head in his hands, not bothering to look up. Walker sat next to him and joined in his silence. Mom and I thought it was best to go into the house giving them some time alone.
A short while later Deliah’s husband, Derek, walked in with their two young boys who immediately sprinted into the backyard. My mother and I were in the kitchen packaging the abundance of casseroles that had arrived at the house so we could freeze them. Derek began helping us silently, as if his hands needed something to keep them busy.
As we placed the last bag into the freezer Walker, Jack and Deliah joined us in the kitchen. Deliah hugged me first, then, surprisingly, his dad followed. It was a short embrace, and seemed forced, but I accepted it. I introduced Jack to my mom and she expressed her condolences. I’m sure they were getting tired of hearing it but what else can you say? A few moments later, Deliah and Jack left the kitchen to pick out his wife’s clothes for the funeral home.
The days seem to blend in with one another. People were coming and going from the house, bringing flowers and more casseroles. I try to keep myself occupied by heating up lunches and dinners for everyone and cleaning up after them. I noticed that Jack seems to be warming up to me. I've seen his quiet smile more often than expected and noticed how he touches my shoulder when I bring him a plate or refill his glass.
Walker, Jack, Deliah and Derek have been busy at the funeral home today. My mother and I have been getting the house ready for the luncheon the Prescott's will be hosting and keeping up with Derek and Deliah’s kids.
The morning of the wake friends started dropping by occasionally but no other family has shown up yet. I overheard Deliah saying some of them were upset they had to drive so far for the funeral when, according to them, it should have been in Illinois where Savannah was born and raised. His dad’s only response was that “if they didn’t want to come they could keep their happy asses home.”
Seems that might be the case.
A few hours later as I was cleaning up from yet another hasty meal, Walker steps into the kitchen, wraps his arms around me from the back, and lays his head down into the curve of my neck.
“Hey,” I say softly, reaching behind me to stroke his hair.
He doesn’t respond except to turn me around and pull me out of the kitchen. My mom gives a sympathetic nod as we pass her. He leads me upstairs to our room and closes the door behind us before laying me on my side and crawling behind me. His chest to my back. The silence fills the room.
“Walker?”
“Shh. Erin, I just want to hold you and our daughter right now. I need to physically know you are with me. I don’t want to talk,” he says, rubbing his hands over our little Savannah.
I let him caress every inch of my body that he can reach as I lay there with my eyes closed. I want to be there for him and if this is what he needs, then I’m giving it to him.
A bit later I wake up sensing his absence. The sun is still shining so I know I must not have dozed off for very long. I roll over and see the darkened bathroom knowing that he must have gone downstairs.
When my feet hit the bottom step I am frozen by the sight of Anna in the living room with a beautiful blonde woman about the same age. Anna’s eyes catch mine and I can see they are red and puffy. As much as I want to give her the middle finger and walk away, I can’t. Savannah was her aunt.
Entering the living room I find Walker on the other couch just out of my previous view. His eyes light up for the first time since the hospital and I can’t help but smile back at him. Getting further into the room, I can physically see him become nervous.
Standing, he crosses the room to meet me, whispering in my ear.
“I was just about to come up and get you. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know either of them were coming.”
I give him a confused look and he kisses my nose.
“Hey baby!” He says, loud enough for them to hear. “I didn’t want to wake you. I know how my girls love their sleep.”
I’m so baffled by his immediate change in behavior. Happy to nervous to happy again.
“Girls?” The blonde asks throwing me a glare then looking at Anna, who doesn’t dare glance my way.
What was that about?
“Yes, girls.” Walker’s voice, which was so sweet moments before, now becomes irritated. “Erin is my girlfriend and she is carrying my daughter.”
His arm comes around my waist protectively but I move out of his grip, extending my hand to her, not understanding why he is being so rude and not introducing me properly to his family.
“I’m Erin. Nice to meet you.”
She looks at my hand like it will give her rabies and tells me exactly what the change in mood and impoliteness is for.
“I’m Tiffany. Walker’s fiancé.”
Hmm. Not family. My shoulders tense up and I immediately stand up straighter.
“I’m sorry.” The bitch laughs. “I meant ex-fiancé.”
Without missing a beat I retort, holding my hand over my heart for dramatic effect. “Oh, good! For a minute there I was nervous I was a home-wrecking, cheating whore like the other two women in this room!”
I shouldn’t have said that. It was mean, and besides, Anna is grieving. But I don’t care. I know she brought her here.
Anna and Tiffany gasp while Walker’s laugh bellows from behind me. As I turn to walk away and look for my mother, the laughing becomes contagious because I can’t help but start giggling myself.
I stop when I spot my mom standing just outside in the hallway. She smirks at me lifting her hand to give me a high five. I raise my hand to hers, relishing the sweet sting of contact. Walker
comes up behind me, still chuckling and pulls me into the half bathroom. He is so imposing that there is no extra room for anything beside the two of us. He lifts me up, sitting me on the sink, and dives into my mouth like he needs to kiss me more than he needs his next breath.
“That was amazing baby. Did you see her face?” He asks in between the strokes of his tongue. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t tell you before you saw her.”
“Why is she here?” I ask, pushing on his chest.
I’m not being selfish. I know that he dated her for a while and she knew his mother, but trying to start a war with me, especially at his mother’s funeral, makes me think she might just be here to cause trouble.
“I don’t have an explanation except that Anna and Tiffany are best friends and maybe Anna needed support. I know that Bruce didn’t want to come with her.”
His hands run down my arms and squeeze my thighs.
“Ok,” I say casually. I just wonder how great of friends they are if Anna didn’t tell her I was pregnant. I wonder if Tiffany even knows that Anna fucked my ex.
“Ok?” He asks, shocked.
“Yes. There is no jealousy here Walker. This is not the time or the place and knowing what I know and seeing her just shows me I have nothing to worry about. I love you. She doesn’t bother me.” I kiss him chastely and push on his chest letting him know I want to get down. The hard sink is hurting my ass.
“I adore you, Erin.”
“I adore you too, Walker. Hard.”
I open the door and am met with Tiffany’s crystal blue eyes. I narrow my eyes at her in a silent warning to stay away from me and what's mine.
“I’m sorry about your loss Tiffany,” I say, looking back at Walker, and then to her again, meaning it in more than one way.
She huffs and stalks away.
The wake and funeral were both beautiful despite the evil glares from Walker’s ex. Even though it was close to winter the temperature was in the 70s with the sun shining. A sign that Walker’s mother was looking down on us, smiling. Tiffany and Anna didn’t even so much as look my way the rest of the time they were here. Not that I cared. I was here for Walker.
Most of the family from Illinois showed up finally, just before the wake. But, they left hastily after the luncheon, leaving my mother and me to clean up as everyone said their goodbyes. Walker has a ton of family, and I was exhausted and wiping my forehead while lying on the couch when he found me.
