by Shelly Crane
"You eat," he rebutted. "I'm worried about you." He pushed my hair back behind my ear. "Not to sound like a jerk, but you don't look so good."
"I don't feel good, either." My stomach groaned, and not in a good way. "Ugh. I'm not even sure I can eat this," I said as I sat back. "You eat."
"I don't have to eat to survive, remember? I only came here for you, and if you're done, then so am I. Come on." He pulled me from the booth, lifting my cup of coffee to take with us, and throwing a few bills on the table.
"You look right peeked, honey," our waitress said as Eli wrapped an arm around my waist. I wanted to resort to sarcasm at her comment. Something like, 'Thank you, Captain Obvious', but refrained. I was very strange feeling in the emotional department, as well as the physical.
"Clara," I heard loudly in my ear and recoiled.
"What?" I said in irritation. "Why are you yelling?"
Eli tipped my chin up and looked at my face closely. I looked around the room without moving my head. We were no longer in the Café car. We were in a bathroom. I looked back up at him in question. I didn't even remember him bringing me there. "What's going on? Why were you yelling?"
He held my face gently and looked into my eyes. He looked upset, but wouldn't answer me. I just watched him. His face seemed to swim, as if I were drugged or something. I squinted to make it go away. He moved his thumb over my cheek before saying, "What is going on with you?"
But he wasn’t talking to me, he was talking about me.
"What's wrong, Eli?"
"I don't know, baby." He pulled me to him, wrapping me in the warm cocoon of his arms."You're scaring me though."
He sounded scared, too. I gripped him tightly. "I'm sorry."
He laughed and pulled back to let his forehead touch mine. "Only you would apologize for something like that."
"What's the matter? How did we get in here?"
He gulped. "You don't remember?" I shook my head 'no'. "You…passed out in the Café car. I picked you up and brought you in here and tried to wake you up."
"Why would I pass out?"
"I don't know," he hedged, too carefully. "But your eyes…"
"What?" I asked. I could have just turned to look in the mirror myself, but the way he was speaking scared me more than anything. I let him tell me instead.
"Your eyes are purple."
The gasp hung in my throat. "But I thought you said they'd be green, that they couldn't be purple-"
"They can't," he whispered. "They can't, Clara." He gulped again and brushed a thumb across my lips. "It's a good thing we're headed to The Wall, because I have to figure out what's going on with you. Someone there can help, though it'll come with a price."
I turned to the mirror slowly. The purple in Eli's eyes looked natural and sexy. The purple in my eyes made me look sick. Creepily pale and sick. I turned away from the mirror.
"Eli… I'm…" I felt myself begin to shake. I felt wrong and Eli could tell that.
"You're scared, I know." He licked his bottom lip and grimaced. "Gah, I hate the taste of your fear."
I let him lift me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. He held me easily and pressed me to him. Before I knew it we were back in our seats, but he didn't put me down. He reclined the seat once more and sat down with me in his lap. He lifted my face with his finger and looked at me, almost sternly.
"Now you listen to me," he whispered. "We'll find out what's going on, and you'll be fine. We’ll do whatever it takes. I'll give them anything they ask in return for the answers, and you will not try to stop me. Do you hear me? You're going to be fine."
"Ok," I answered weakly.
"Clara," he complained.
"Yes. Ok." I looked up at him and he pulled my forehead to his with a hand on the back of my neck.
"You know what's scaring me most?" he asked. I didn't answer. I knew it was rhetorical. "I ordered you around and you didn’t even try to fight back with sarcasm. Where's my snarky Clara at, huh?"
"She's falling asleep," I said and smiled slightly. "I'm sorry."
"Sleep, love. Just sleep." He hugged me tighter. "I'll be right here."
"I know. I love…" I wasn't sure if I finished my thought or not before slipping into sleep.
Nine
The next time I woke, it was daytime again. Enoch and Finn had returned and Eli was fielding questions about what was wrong with me. He just kept telling them to shut up about it.
I lifted my head once they were quiet for a minute. Eli started to smile, but his face went blank. He gripped my face gently and looked at me…before breaking into the biggest grin.
"You're back to normal, baby." He hugged me and released a huge sigh of relief. "You're back to you."
"I am?"
"Yeah." He pulled back and rubbed my cheek with his thumb. "Well, your eyes are. How do you feel?"
"Great," I realized. I stretched and smiled. "I feel just fine."
"Well, that's just dandy peaches and rainbow roses, human," Enoch said. "I'm so glad you'll be back to annoying me. Last night was peaceful and quiet with you passed out."
"Shut up, Enoch," Eli told him.
"Yeah, shut up," I repeated.
Eli laughed. "And she's back."
"I guess so," I agreed. "What's next?"
"We should arrive in New Mexico in about an hour. Then we find the Consumed Club, first."
"Why first?"
"Because you can't get into The Wall without a stone from a Witch." I quirked a brow at him to explain. "I'll explain it all later. Put your eyebrow down," he laughed. He seemed more carefree today, compared to the desperation of last night in the bathroom.
"Goblin's teeth, Witch's stones, Consumed Clubs. This trip sounds like a blast already."
"We haven't even gotten to the blood sacrifice part yet," Enoch said and grinned evilly at me.
I balked and looked at Eli, figuring he'd bash Enoch for saying something like that. But he just grimaced shamefully and looked away, his fingers flexing on my hip as a silent apology.
Oh, yeah. A blast…
~ ~ ~
The train jerked to a stop. I felt a fluttering of uneasy butterflies in my gut as Eli took our stuff in one hand and my fingers in the other. We all made our way to the train side and collected our other bag and the bird.
I couldn't be sure, but the bird looked peeved. He watched and eyed us with an intensity that was creepy. First thing Eli said was for us to find a hotel that would accept cash and stash the bird there before making our way to the Consumed Club.
So that's what we did. The clerk at some dive we tried said they had a no-cash policy, but was easily persuaded to accept it - just this once - with a little help from Finn.
"Give me a twenty," Finn told Eli.
Eli grumbled and sighed, then handed over a twenty from his wallet. Finn slipped the twenty into the clerk's hand and he held her fingers a little too long to be considered appropriate. He smiled and asked again, in a - even I had to admit - sexy, alluring voice. "Pretty please, can you take this and let us stay here? We won't be a bother…unless you want me to be."
She flushed, her middle aged face perking up at the insinuation. "Just this once."
She took our money and gave him a key. He winked at her as he took it and I thought she'd faint right there. Eli growled under his breath and dragged me to the elevators, bird cage in hand. Finn chuckled and jingled the key and its cracked key ring in his hand as we ascended, the elevator dinging with every passing floor. The fifth was the top and we got off. The smell of old and gross hit me and I made a sound in my throat.
"What, princess?" Enoch asked and sneered. "Not up to your high standards?"
"Shut up," Eli said and pushed him. He looked at me when Finn put the key in the lock. "You have to find old places like this where they'll take cash and it won't be so suspicious. Sorry."
"It's ok," I said gently. "I'm fine."
Finn couldn't resist his two cents. "Yes, I find I quit
e enjoy these old hotels. The smell of sex and sin lingers and stains the air."
Eli sighed harshly before saying, "If you two don't shut the lid on those mouths of yours, we'll hit the trail without you. You wanted to tag along," he antagonized Enoch, "so tag along, but seriously, shut up before I shut you up."
"So touchy," Finn said as the door lock clicked loudly. "I don't remember you being so asininely sensitive."
"That was before," Enoch said and laughed. "Before he snagged a conscience that's five foot four, talks too much and reeks of human trouble."
"Five foot five," I rebutted.
"Ok," Eli said in exasperation. "Bloody, ok!" He looked at me with a 'please help, don't hinder' look. "Can we all go in and stop the bickering? I feel like a bloody chaperone."
"You are a bloody chaperone," Enoch countered and glared at me. "When does playtime start?"
"Enough!" He turned me toward the bathroom and pushed me gently. "Go take a long, hot shower. We need to get going at sun down."
"Fine," I muttered. "But I'm only going quietly because I really need a shower."
"That's not going quietly," Enoch mumbled.
"Thank you, CB," Eli said sweetly.
I felt kind of bad for him. I guess he probably did feel like our babysitter. He knew that Finn and Enoch were going to be themselves, and thus annoying, the whole trip and still he let them come because he thought they might help us get the answers we needed. All for me. I sighed and felt guilty, especially after he was so sweet on the train. "Eli, come here."
"Run, boy. The princess is calling," Enoch mocked.
Eli rounded the corner to the bathroom and looked at me expectantly. I leaned in and mouthed a 'sorry' before pulling him down to me and kissing him. It was like someone threw a lit match on me. I had an overwhelming urge to have Eli, make him mine in every way, consume him. It was deep inside me, in my gut and being. It made no sense.
I'd never felt something so strong and almost as if I wasn't even myself anymore before…
Eli recognized my urgency as I clung to him, pulling him through the door and slamming his back to the wall. He groaned as he tried to detach himself from me, but I was having none of that.
I jumped, wrapping my legs around his waist and kissed him opened mouthed and willing for anything. He turned and pressed me to the back of the door and kissed me, but it was reserved. Like he knew something was up, but didn't want to hurt my feelings. But how did I know that?
"Clara," he groaned against my mouth. "Love, you were sick not a few hours ago. Come on, let's take it easy."
"I don't want it easy," I said and stumbled in my motions at the voice that left me. Eli, too, leaned back to assess me. He looked seriously puzzled.
"What was that?" he asked in a whisper.
"I just want you," I answered, but again my voice was sultry and deep. And wrong and completely not mine, but the voice kept speaking anyway.
He cleared his throat. "CB…I, uh…" He looked at me closely. He released my legs, setting my feet to the floor and took my face in his hands. "You don't have to pretend anything with me. You don't have to be some…sexy, over the top girl to make me want you."
I huffed, the sting hitting me right in the chest from his words. "Sexy, over the top girl?"
"You are sexy, I didn't mean that. I meant that you don't have to be something you're not with me. I know exactly who you are and that girl…is who I want. And besides, when we finally do decide to do that, it won't be in some dingy bathroom in a hotel room."
I looked around then, taking in my surroundings. The bathroom was utterly disgusting; the tiles peeling and old, dirty and stained from who knew what. I gulped and shivered in disgust at the bathroom and myself. What was I doing?
"I'm sorry," I whispered and said my next words very, very softly. "Get out, ok?"
"CB," he sighed. "I wasn't trying to jilt you. I just…this isn't exactly a romantic place or situation, and I'm not really sure what's going on with you," he said just as softly. "It's not that I don't want you, I'm just trying to-"
"Just get out, ok," I repeated gently and moved back for him to leave.
He stayed planted there for a few rebellious seconds, his breathing loud and thoughtful before he finally relented with a sigh, closing the door with a soft click. I sighed, too, and grabbed a towel to put down on the floor. My bare feet on the tile was making me nauseas. I hadn't seen any of this before when I'd entered the bathroom. I was in some daze or something and now everything was crystal clear and slamming into me was the knowledge that I was no longer in control of myself.
Something was very wrong with me.
The Wall. We needed to get to The Wall to get answers, and tonight was our ticket to doing that. So I jumped in the shower, closing my mind's eye to the disturbing surroundings and the cheap hotel shampoo, and focusing on the end game.
Once I was done, I realized that I'd forgotten my flat iron. Shoot. So I used the blow dryer in the bathroom and let the natural waves of my hair be. I never wore my hair this way anymore. The curls reminded me too much of my mother's hair and it made me sad.
But now, seeing it like this as I stared at myself in the mirror of a strange bathroom, on a quest to a supernatural place looking for a supernatural cure, made me not just sad, but miss her. I missed her an unhealthy amount all of a sudden and it hit me hard. I leaned on the counter and felt the first tear drip from my nose.
If I could just see her, hear her voice, feel the touch of her sweet, soothing hand on my hair just one more time…
I sucked in a startled breath when someone touched my shoulder.
"It's ok. It's just me," Eli said, but frowned when he worried that I might not want him there either. How did I know that?
I went to him slowly, giving him the option to leave if he wanted, but also so he'd know I wasn't attacking him again. Gah, I couldn't even meet his eyes. How embarrassing to act like that…
He opened his arms gratefully and held me for a long time against his chest. It didn't matter that I wasn't wearing any make-up, it didn't matter that I was only wearing a towel, it didn't matter that I had been crying and knew I had atrocious bags under my red eyes.
It. Just. Didn't. Matter.
He shhed me as he squeezed me. I realized I was crying again, and that made me cry harder. I was pathetic.
"Ah, love, you're breaking my heart," he said sadly.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm…something is happening to me," I confessed. "You're right. Something is going on and I want it to stop."
"We will figure this out," he said firmly. "Clara, I won't rest until you're well again. And I don't mean you're not well, I mean…I just mean that-"
"I know what you mean," I said and tried to smile. I may have just looked insane, but he seemed a little relieved. "It's ok. There is something wrong with me."
He smoothed my hair. "You miss your mom," he commented calmly. "I'm sorry."
"How do you know that?"
"Because you're in a strange place, mentally and physically, and you weren't just sad in here, I felt your sorrow. I haven't felt that sorrow since I met you at the park, and I knew only one thing could cause that; a daughter really, really needing her mum."
I smiled through my tears. "Mum," I murmured. "My mom would have really liked you."
"I would have liked her." He leaned letting his lips touch my ear. "She made a beautiful, loving, breathtaking daughter."
I sobbed. I sobbed so hard into his shoulder as he let me let loose. He didn't ply me with empty words, he just held me, which I needed more than I ever thought possible. His arms, strong and loving, caressed and pressed me until I calmed. Again, I felt that I could barely look at him. I was a basket case the past couple of days and he probably was more than ready to run for the hills.
"Nope. I'm staying right here."
I balked. "How do you know what I'm thinking this time?"
"Now you're feeling guilt and pain. I can only imagine the wild things that female br
ain is conjuring." He smiled. "I…" He gulped. "I, uh…"
There it was again. That thing that we both wanted so desperately to say to each other and it was right there…but so far away.
"Thank you," I said softly. "I'll get ready so we can go."
"Wear something pretty and…sexy," he said and wrinkled his nose. "We're going to have to put on a production tonight."
