He glanced over to Jake and informed him, “I want to pull her hair now.” Jake lifted his chin in a dare, and then took a large step back preparing for the snakes and fire to appear.
Jason took this moment to step between us and finish the introductions. Brian shook his parents’ hands one at a time and then his grandparents’. Jason took another breath and then introduced, “So, I’m not sure you caught Brian’s name,” he gestured toward Bri, “and then the big guy is Owen Douglass.” Owen waved and did a curt nod toward Jason’s dad; it was a respectful head bob. “The other big guy is Marcus.” Marcus? He looks like a Marcus—piss him off and he will mark all of us. I giggled to myself. The man I dubbed Smith Three eyed me when I giggled, I shrugged and tilted my head like I couldn’t help it.
We made our way inside and saw food dishes everywhere. So much food, my eyes widened and Jessie whispered softly in my ear, “My sister and mom were nervous, and making all this food helped calm them.” She put her arm around me and rested her head on my shoulder. Jessie’s closeness was oddly welcome, and it felt natural to lean into her warm arms. “He looks good. Thank you for bringing him home.”
I pulled away quickly, and anxiety made my heart thrash in my chest. Jason was mine, and the thought of him leaving me…scared the shit out of me. “He can’t stay, Jessie. He has to come with me. I need him.” I sounded desperate, and I was sure Jessie was seeing all kinds of red flags at my possessiveness over her brother, but I couldn’t help it.
“I know,” she reassured me. “Even if it’s for a few hours, we really needed to see him.” I closed my eyes and exhaled out of relief, giving her a grin in complete understanding. I knew exactly how she felt. We both watched the interaction between Jason and his parents, and she squeezed her arm around me. Jason’s mom had tears, and her arms were firmly locked around his middle as Jason talked with his dad. Jason’s dad reached out and patted his shoulder affectionately. Jason had some work to do with his family, but I had a feeling they were already happy to have their son back. “I didn’t know you had a twin too.”
My smile widened as her face flushed red again. “He’s not my twin. We just share the same gene pool. You shouldn’t look at him like that; your man might get jealous, and trust me—my brother flirts with every pretty lady.” She beamed again and I shook my head. “Jessie, my brother is way worse with the women than yours. Believe me.”
She gave me a one-armed shrug. “Did he actually say I was pretty?” She followed that up with a very cute giggle, and I couldn’t help but love her.
****
Jason
I caught Owen’s signal and followed him to the downstairs bedroom, nodding at Katarina’s other bodyguard, who was watching her carefully before he entered and closed the door. One more moment with my clingy mom crying over me and I thought my head was going to explode. I could only apologize so many times, and I was done with the lovey-dovey shit. Brian had his computer open, and he took the flash drive from Owen. He set the computer on the window seat in the corner of the room, clicking a few more buttons before he stepped back with Owen and me. Then, silence engulfed the entire room.
“There were documents also. I gave them to Owen, and I have copies I plan on reading on the plane ride home, but there were about thirty or so videos. I opened a couple. One was in a long line of videos, and the other was all by itself. If I set it up right, they should play one right after another,” Brian said. It was silent as we stared at the screen. I ran my fingers through my hair and rolled my head on my shoulders. The black box opened, letting us know it was loaded, and then noises sounded. The computer screen was black; the video was set in night vision and took a while to focus.
I moved to the window and pulled the shade to blacken the room. Then, I walked back slowly, listening to the small voice. “Why, Daddy? Why do you want to hurt me, Daddy?” My eyes darted to the black screen. You could make out a white nightgown on a tiny figure.
She fell to the ground and a man’s stern voice echoed around us. “I have to, Katarina. You are a troubled girl. I have to make you tough.”
I stared at the screen, but it was the sound that fucked with my mind—the sound of a belt rattling, tiny screams, followed by the hiss of a whip or belt, and then more cries. After a few minutes of torture, the man left and the tiny white gown moved toward the door, crying and screaming filling the bedroom. It swallowed the four of us; my stomach knotted and twisted, and tears formed in my eyes as she cried and then fell into a ball on the floor. She grew silent for a brief moment, and we could hear her tiny voice count and then she stopped. “Bri? Bri, is that you? It’s cold and dark in here. I’m scared, Bri.”
I couldn’t control the steady stream of tears and couldn’t bear the thought of looking at the other men. Katarina was my only weakness, and I didn’t want anyone to see what she did to me. I wasn’t sure if it was a pride thing or a way I protected her from those who wanted to hurt me. Her voice stopped and she laid on the floor, rocking and counting.
The video clip finished, and Brian reached over to stop the next one from playing. I grabbed his hand and stared at him. I had to see this; I needed to understand her demons in order to fix her and keep her safe. I needed to know. I needed to see one more. “Don’t.” I looked at Brian; tears like mine covered his face and he was shaking.
“I wasn’t there. It wasn’t me on the other side of the door. I was never fucking there. My parents told me Kat was troubled and she hurt herself. I believed them. I wasn’t fucking there when she called for me.” His eyes moved over my face as he attempted to reach for the computer again.
“Brian, I need to see,” I stuttered as I continued, “in…in order to understand.” He withdrew from me and left the room. I turned toward Owen and he nodded. The next clip played and it was daylight, and little Katarina was wearing a yellow sundress, her hair in pigtails, her blue eyes bright and crystal clear. Doc was over her and talking into her ear. She was in a large room, sitting on top of a black piano.
The person who was videotaping was far away, so you had to strain to hear anything…until the smacking started, and then the level of Doc’s voice rose. He was hitting her with force on the back of the head, and then he slapped her across the face. Katarina didn’t even flinch; she closed her eyes, and her lips moved with no audible words.
His voice was now yelling, “You never roll your eyes—at me or anyone.” He repeated it as his next blow to her head knocked her off the piano. Her small, defenseless body fell limp to the floor. She blinked, and he walked toward her slowly. His back was to the camera as he bent down and gently helped her up. “You’re a troublemaker. No more rolling your eyes.” He sat her up and glanced over toward the person holding the camera. It was clear from the surprise in his eyes he didn’t know he was being watched beating his daughter.
Doc left, and the next thing we saw was the camera being settled on something and a man appear walking toward her. He talked to her in a hushed tone and she stood head down. He said something else and she stripped her dress and sandals. The camera was so far away I couldn’t see his face clearly, but he was wearing black slacks and a white dress shirt, his hair short and brown. He appeared professional. He stalked around her body, ran a finger around her middle section, and then he removed her underwear.
She was naked in front of him. I wanted to look away; anger filled me, and my core was so frazzled I shook. He murmured how pretty she was and talked about what ladies do. He continued with compliments and educated her about her body. It was nauseating, and I had seen enough. I pivoted toward Owen and his fury was visible, even in the darkness of the room. I stormed out of the room, because I needed air. I walked through the kitchen in a haze. My sister, Jessie, called out to me, and I turned my head to catch her eyes, but my legs continued to the front porch. I sat on the swing and tried to erase the pictures in my head. Jessie settled in next to me, and I covered my face with my hands and silently wished she would go away.
“I missed you,” she w
hined and her body leaned into mine. “I’m glad you found her; she looks happy.” She paused, and then continued, “She told me to be good to you. She defended you, explaining in so many words it was her fault you freaked out and left. She asked me to be mad at her and not you. I love that she protects you, but I’m smarter than that.” Jessie could make a point without beating me up. I knew what I did; I fucked up with my family. Katarina was not responsible for the choices I made, but in true Katarina style, she threw herself under the bus as a sacrifice so my sister wouldn’t be mad at me. I fucking needed to be left alone. Katarina was a living sacrifice, and I didn’t want her to do that for me anymore.
Guilt and sadness brought tears back to my eyes. I put my face in my hands and closed my eyes, but I still had visions in my head, things I wanted to un-see. She sat with me for a while and then took the hint, disappearing back inside the house. I sat on the swing, wondering if I always knew subconsciously about her abuse from the first moment I saw her. I wondered if I wanted to save her because I couldn’t save Jacy. I wondered if my obsession and fixation was more about being a hero, an avoidance of what my real problem was.
The loss of Jacy rocked my world. The fixation I had on Katarina was something I had never had on anyone. If she was safe, truly safe, would I still feel the same way about her? If all the monsters were gone, would I have this overwhelming need to protect her? Would she still fill that broken hole inside me, or would she just become one of the many women I bagged? I ran my hand through my hair and leaned back. Bo was lying on the porch next to me. I reached down to pet him, telling him how sorry I was for leaving him. I made my way back inside, my confused feelings clouding my vision.
My mom stopped me in the kitchen and hugged me. “Katie went on a walk with her brother and the boys. I think she’s showing him around the lake. You seem lost without her.”
I felt lost. “Thanks, Mom.” I moved toward the backyard and overheard my granddad. He was laughing and telling someone about his farm. He was always trying to share the joys of farming, but somehow, his voice would get lost in the sea of voices and nobody really listened. I listened to him for a while, and he was pulling out all his really good material, stories I had listened to when I was young. I stepped out to see who he was talking to, and Katarina was seated right next to him. Her eyes were focused on only him. Bo left my side and moved over to hers. Her giggle was what fueled Granddad. He continued to hog all of her attention, and when Bo set his nose on her lap, she began petting him, never taking her eyes off the old man.
Brian walked up beside me and handed me a beer. “I don’t want her to ever know I saw the video.” His voice was soft. “If you feel like you need to tell her you saw it, that’s fine, but look at her. She would be crushed if she thought we felt sorry for her. The girl thinks she’s strong, and she’s convinced she can save herself. I think our best call is to treat her without sympathy, give her a little tough love.” He winked. “She hates pity, so I am not going to give her any. Fuck, Jason, I know I should have known, but I didn’t. I was an asshole of a brother. My parents built it into me to take care of her, to protect her, and I failed. Fuck, I failed more than once, and look at her.”
I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She was a thing of beauty; her black hair slid in front of her face as she bent down to kiss Bo. Brian continued, “She’s happy. I couldn’t talk to her after the rape, because I hated myself for not knowing, not predicting, not seeing Jared’s lust for her. I can’t go back to not talking with her. Shit, man, I love my sister, and I don’t want to lose her all over again.”
Her face lifted like her spidey senses were kicking in, and her blue, smiling eyes met mine. I tried to picture Doc and his wife as her parents, but I couldn’t. Although Katarina and her mother had similar features, Katarina had so much life in her face. She stood from the patio table and padded toward me. “What’s wrong?” she asked, her eyes holding mine, and I saw the little girl in the video. I couldn’t speak; I had nothing to say, or nothing I wanted to say.
My dad saved me when he stepped in and interrupted. Katarina walked away with her brother, and I stared at her as my family laughed with her. And that was it—it hit me; I never appreciated my family. I made a promise to myself: today, I’d start the sappy-love family thing…no regrets.
I caught Owen’s gaze; even though he wore his sunglasses, his face was hard. My dad lectured me about dropping the ball and about responsibilities, and I knew I fucked him royally, but my mind was not in the right place for this conversation.
“Sorry, Dad, I…” I paused and tried to find something better to say. “I’m just sorry.” My dad stopped mid-sentence and looked at me, and I realized I hadn’t said those words to him before. “I need to be with her right now.” I ran a hand over my face.
“Let me know if I can help.” He reached out, grabbed my upper arm, and pulled me toward him. “I am here for you anytime.” His embrace was short and tight, and I felt emotional thinking about what a fucking great father I had, always consistent.
I gave him a short but heartfelt hug back to show him how much I loved him. “Thanks, Dad.”
Janie came out and announced lunch was ready. The table was set inside, and dishes of salads filled the table, enough for a feast. The women in my family cooked when they were nervous; they came, cooked, and it was overwhelming the amount of food that was set in front of us.
Katarina took her seat, Brian sat directly across from her, and Owen sat next to my dad. I took my seat next to Katarina. Her eyes blazed into me and I remained silent. She bumped her shoulder into me as I settled into my chair. The food was passed and conversation buzzed around the table, but I was lost, deep in thought. My mind wrapped around Katarina and her troubled youth. My dad’s voice ripped me from my dark thinking. “Brian, was Katie a tyrant growing up?”
Brian choked on a laugh; his eyes met mine first, and then he gazed at his sister and smirked. “She was.” Katarina gasped and I watched Brian’s face turn joyous. “She was and is a complete snob.”
Katarina set her fork down and smoothed her napkin. I cleared my throat and her head snapped to me. “He’s right, Katarina; you are a snob,” I said and almost broke into laughter as her eyes bugged out and she swallowed.
Owen’s loud laughter silenced the table. “Yep…snob.”
I turned to catch a flicker of mischief in Katarina’s eyes. She moved the fruit salad in front of her and lifted her head to the other side of the table in her brother’s direction. “Well, Bri,” she paused, sticking her hand in the salad, grabbing a handful of fruit, “if I am a snob, then you are a first class, arrogant, overconfident jerk,” and then the fruit flew and nailed him in the face.
She turned toward me next, and I got turned on by the adolescent, spunky look in her eye. She was humored by the three of us. “And you,” she grabbed another handful of fruit, making my cock twitch, “you are a moody control freak.” Her hand released a fruity blow to my chest; a deep chuckle left my throat and it felt great.
She faced Owen next and winked at my dad. “I have good aim, Jackson. Smith,” she repeated grabbing a fistful of food and then continued, “you, old man, are bossy, and overbearing, and old…really, really old.” She threw the food and he blocked it, but she must have calculated that, because more fruit followed and pelted him. His laughter was contagious, and we joined in.
****
Katarina
The foods flew across the long dining room table and the laughter enveloped me like a blanket. It was the best day and it kept getting better. Jake and Josh threw fistfuls of food at Jason, yelling toward me, “We got him!” Jason’s laugh made my heart thunder in my chest. I loved his laugh. He picked me up to shield him from the flying buffet and I screamed as food landed in my hair and tumbled down my shirt.
“I love you,” Jason whispered in my ear, and I pulled back far enough to look in his eyes and he was different.
There was something softer about him, and I didn’t have to look so
deep for his heart in his eyes anymore, because he wore it proudly on his sleeve. I smiled as I cradled his face in my hands. “I know, baby, and I love you.” He leaned in and kissed me, taking his sweet time. It was tender and full of love, and there were promises in the kiss, promises of forever, promises of happiness, and promises of passion. I attempted to return those promises, but he held my face, not accepting them yet.
Jell-O and pasta broke up our public make out session followed by kids yelling, “Eww!” I laughed as Jason placed me on my feet while hopping to his, and then in true Jason style, he tossed me over his shoulder and took off in a sprint up the stairs. He placed me on the counter when we reached the bathroom, and he wore the biggest grin.
“You are so fucking beautiful.” He lifted my shirt over my head. “Do you get sick of me telling you that?” I shook my head and returned his smile. “I like that you let me compliment you.”
I was puzzled by his choice of words. “I like your compliments.” I licked some chocolate pudding off of his chin. “What’s going on? And don’t tell me ‘nothing’, because something’s off.” I traced my tongue down his neck, tasting barbeque sauce and ambrosia.
“I’m infatuated with you; that’s all. Seeing you with my family makes me want to start my own with you.” He smiled, and I would buy any line of bullshit associated with it. His green eyes gleamed and I was close enough to see the gold flecks that surrounded his black pupils.
“Where’s my phone? I want to play the ‘did you know’ game.”
He busied himself with taking off his clothes, but the gorgeous, goofy grin never faltered. “What the heck?” I continued, “Did you know…you have gold rings inside your eyes?” He flicked on the shower and turned toward me, laughing. His goofy grin was so large it was going to swallow me whole. “What?” I questioned at his smirk.
Forever Distraction Page 27
